The Decline of Sesame Street

[Finrod Felagund]

Elmo Is an Evildoer
The self-obsessed Sesame Street Muppet is destroying all that is holy on children's TV.
Joel Stein

August 15, 2006

ELMO REFUSED to be interviewed for this column. I consider this to be a supreme act of cowardice. And it doesn't surprise me one bit. Elmo is an annoying tool.

Yes, I know that children love Elmo. But children are idiots. That's why we don't let them have jobs. Could you imagine an office full of children? They'd spend all day telling dumb jokes and talking about their poop. It would be like it was before women entered the workplace.

"Sesame Street" — which still has sharp, funny writing — is being destroyed by idiot cuteness. Not only is the patronizing, baby-talking Elmo usurping most of the hour, but "Sesame Street" — which debuted its 37th season Monday — added its first new female Muppet in 13 years: the sparkly haired, tutu-wearing, button-nosed, pink-skinned fairy goddaughter Abby Cadabby. Her shaky magic skills get her in situations she needs to get bailed out of, like the anti-"Bewitched."

Plus, she's got that creepy, throaty, little-girl Lindsay Lohan kind of voice, and a Paris Hilton-esque catchphrase: "That's so magic." When I watched "Sesame Street" in the '70s, the human cast and the Muppets were quirky adults who didn't talk down to me with baby voices. Now the human cast gets almost no airtime, and the show is dominated by Elmo, Baby Bear and, now, Abby Cadabby — preschoolers enamored by their own adorable stupidity.

The lesson they teach — in opposition to Oscar, Big Bird, Grover or Bert — is that bland neediness gets you stuff much more easily than character. We are breeding a nation of Anna Nicole Smiths.

I am not the only one who hates Elmo. Vernon Chatman and John Lee, the creators of MTV2's dark "Sesame Street" parody, "Wonder Showzen," think the evil red one is destroying the show.

"Elmo doesn't grow. People show him something and he laughs. He doesn't learn a lesson," says Lee. "It's the exact opposite of what old 'Sesame Street' used to do. Elmo has been learning the same lesson his whole life, which is that Elmo likes Elmo."

Chatman, who refers to Elmo as the Jar Jar Binks of "Sesame Street," worries that Elmo teaches kids to care only about themselves.

"Elmo is just a baby-voiced, self-obsessed character who is only concerned with Elmo," says Lee. "He just passively observes things: 'Elmo is looking at a sandwich. Elmo is eating a sandwich. Elmo is crapping out the sandwich and writing his name on the wall with it.' " The last celebrity to so obsessively refer to himself in the third person was Richard Nixon.

Whereas Count Von Count markets math and Oscar markets the acceptability of negative emotions, Elmo, brilliantly, just markets Elmo, leading him to be the show's cash cow, or whatever misshapen animal he's supposed to be.

I question not only Abby Cadabby but all of Elmo's associates. You may recall that Elmo testified before Congress about music education. But you may not remember who requested Elmo's appearance: Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, now in jail for taking at least $2.4 million in bribes. I'm not implying that Elmo has taken dirty money, but these are the kind of people Elmo surrounds himself with.

I understand that "Sesame Street" has to compete in a Nickelodeon-Disney Channel-Wiggles-Pixar universe. In fact, the new episodes start with " 'Sesame Street' is brought to you by the following … " and then, instead of gently mocking consumerism by listing letters and numbers, they actually show real spots for McDonald's, Beaches resorts, Pampers and EverydayKidz.com — the last of which apparently helps children spell only if they want to be rappers.

I desperately don't want the show to go away, so I know they can't afford to run the "Elmo accidentally drank bleach and died" episode. Instead, they need to simply take Elmo and his buddies and give them their own hourlong show for the idiot spawn. Then put Luis, Gordon and the cool Muppets on their own half-hour "Classic Sesame" for the kids who will one day actually contribute to our society.

Whichever of the two shows you watched would serve as a convenient litmus test for the rest of your life. "Which 'Sesame Street' did you watch?" will be code on college applications, Internet dating and job applications. Blue and red states will be divided not by presidential choices, but by Grover and Elmo.

If we can't save all the kids, let's at least save the ones who can master speaking in first-person. The rest we'll use for reality TV stars.

[brownjenkins]

Too funny.

Eventhough, I don't remember Grover being all that deep either.

[hectorberlioz]

Or Big Bird...the tallest dumbell there is...

[Nurvingiel]

Aha, hilarious! It's too bad the Seasme Street apparently sucks now. I watched it all the time when I was a kid. You know, the good one. For kids who will eventually contribute to society, speak in the first person, and not become a reality TV star.

[Huorn]

Sesame Street was wonderful when I was a kid. Nowdays it stinks. It is not even educational anymore.

[hectorberlioz]

To be honest...I guess I was a few years too young to be really influenced by Sesame Street...travelled around a lot during those years too...

I've sorta missed out on all the TV culture influences...apathetic about the whole thing.

[BeardofPants]

I ****ing hate elmo. stoopid midget fuzzbutt.

[Bombadillo]

I remember the organized campaign against Cookie Monster's bad grammar. I thought it was pretty absurd. The kids definately understand that Cookie Monster has poor grammar skills, and they shouldn't talk like that. I also knew, when I was young enough to watch it, that Telly was a wuss and Oscar was a grouch, and actually yeah I even knew Elmo was selfish come to think of it. I knew not to act like them.

But on a related note, educational TV is barely ever effective anyway, because kids at that age learn through personal interaction. They love attention, and so only learn, for the most part, when some actual person is giving them attention.

But whatever. The best muppets are all in either Muppet Treasure Island or Farscape.

They should rerun Muppet Babies.

[Arien the Maia]

lol! this was hilarious but sadly it is true! I used to LOVE watching Sesame Street when I was little in the early 80s. I loved Bert and Ernie....LOVED them! but ever since Elmo has arrived, it has gone SO down hill it's not even funny anymore. I must admit that I let my son watch TV...although I stick to the shows they have on NOGGIN. he likes Blues Clues which I do too. most of their shows are pretty good...some annoy the crap out of me though and I won't stand to listen to them so I change the channel to Lifetime and we watch the Golden Girls! lol! Hey I figure they're better than the "modern day" Sesame St!

[Spock]

I read a report about this a few weeks ago. They've gone so far politically correct that it is a totally 'nother show. That along with eliminating the human interaction has changed the impact, not for the better according to the article.

[Anglorfin]

I remember watching the old Sesame Street all the time as a little kid. But I don't think I ever really liked it. I always thought that if I was allowed to watch something else I would have because Sesame Street was always a little on the boring side. That would be the obvious reason to change the formula and try to make it more trendy.

Of course that is a problem. Kids need to be explosed to less trends. At least in the old Sesame Street; boring though it was; everyone had their favorite character because they could identify with a specific and unique trait that the character held. It had nothing to do with a character being innately funny or adorable like it does now.

[Alcuin]

I am too old to have watched Sesame Street as a child, but my wife and children tell me that it is seriously deteriorated. I do recall watching it with my children on occasion when they were little, and the older shows were quite entertaining even for adults; I believe PBS has stopped running those programs because they are politically incorrect. My son tells me that the best shows were always the old ones, in which Ernie would drive Bert into a rage, and Bert would whack him with a bat; and Oscar the Grouch would offer people trash to eat and praise the benefits of living in a trash can. Big Bird was the rough equivalent of a four-year old who could not yet read or recognize all his letters and numbers, and Miss Piggy was, even to an adult like me, shockingly risqué for a children’s show. (Kids never understood her off-color hints and suggestions to Kermit, though.)

My understanding is that the show has become so bland and politically orthodox that it is salt that has lost its flavor. My wife’s grandson watched Barney (yech! I much prefer the Animaniacs’ “Baloney”) as a very small child, but he only watched Sesame Street a little longer, rather than for years. From what I saw, and I tried to see very little of it, there is no longer much difference between the two shows.

Besides, my favorite Sesame Street episode was when Big Bird and Kermit chose 3 as Today’s Letter and had trouble with the alphabet.