What makes a house a home?

[Earniel]

This discussion popped up somewhere when talking to a few friends who were moving and I thought it be interesting to toss it out here.

So what makes a house a home? The time you lived in it? The fact that it mirrors your hobbies and likes? The only place where you feel completely comfortable? But why? Or perhaps because you have made effort in making it just right?

Personally I have never moved in my life (except for a short time in a rented student room) so the fact that I have known this house all my life plays an important role in seeing it as my home. But most people move at least once in their lives, some even many times. So how do they do it?

[Farimir Captain of Gondor]

Good question Eärniel.

I grew up in the military so we moved around a lot. In my mind a house isn't necessarily a home. A home is place where you go and you don't have be anybody but youself. Where you can say and do whatever you want. The things you put in your home are just an extention of you so, a house in its self is just a part of you. A town or city can be a home. I've lived here for longer than any other place before and I consider it home. When people ask "Where are you from?" I say "Marietta". I wasn't born here or even raised here but, I feel this is my home. I can go out with friends and I don't have to be anything I'm not. So, to me the saying 'Home is where the heart is' rings true.

I don't know. I don't make intelligent or awe inspiring post. Just trying to give my opinion.

[Earniel]

Actually, that makes an aweful lot of sense to me.

"Home is where the heart is." I had completely forgotten that expression. Yes, there's definitely truth in it.

[Rían]

Hmmm, I'll have to think about that - We've lived in 4 places during our 20-year marriage. Our current house seems the homeist, for some reason, but I can't put a finger on it. Maybe because we did a lot of alterations on it and that made it more "ours" in a sense? I really, really like our current home! But "home is where the family is", too.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

I have no home.

[Giroth]

hmm..home to me is wherever i know i can have comfort, be surrounded by those who love and care for me and i love and care for back...oh yeah and if its a good place to chill, then that also adds to the good home part :P

[Tessar]

I'm going to have to go with what Rian said--For me, Home is where the family is.

My family has moved... well... not a lot, but not a little, either. Four or five times that I can remember, and then two times more before I can remember clearly. Always, it's been a 'step up in the world' so to speak, but moving is still moving.

This last move was the hardest one for me. It took me over a year before I was even willing to learn my own home phone number . I don't know why I was so stubborn, but now I'm glad that we're here. We'll probably move again, soon... but meh. I'm sort of coming into my own, so I guess I don't mind.

Now what I would really hate, and I think would hurt a lot, is moving somewhere out of town again (like this last move that took me so long to adjust to)... I don't want to have to make new friends all over again. Houses aren't a big deal to me, but the people I already know and I've been working on relationships with... that's my thing.

[Rían]

Originally Posted by Gwaimir Windgem

I have no home.

I hear you have a pretty spiffy mansion somewhere ... I'll be in the same neighborhood, too!

[Giroth]

ooh a mansion! have a freakin entmoot member party at your mansion so we can all raid it, i mean...admire it! > : D haha

[Pytt]

I think what Faramir the Capt. said, matter the most for me. We haven't moved very much, my dad moved 1 time, my mother 1 time. But even though I stay 50/50, I change place on thursday, since they're living so close, and I want to spend time with both. Besides that, I feel my mums house is more home. It may be beacuse I can't do and say what I want to my dad, beacuse of my step mother. But when thinking about it, neither place is the perfect home. When I remember the place we lived before my parents got separeted, the home spirit there was so much more real.

But soon I think I have to move out by myself. And I guess thinks will change.

[hectorberlioz]

You know, I was born in Virginia, but I have no idea what makes a Virginian a virginian. I've lived in Texas, but I'm not a Texan. Arkansas, and Tennessee...but I defy having an accent.

I really don't know what to say when people ask me where I'm from...I'm just...from America

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Originally Posted by RÃ*an

Our current house seems the homeist, for some reason, but I can't put a finger on it. Maybe because we did a lot of alterations on it and that made it more "ours" in a sense?

I agree. I've only moved once, and that was when I was four so I don't remember the process of moving very cleary, but my Dad has just built an extension onto our house, and now it feels more like home than it did. I also have recently started putting alot of photos up in my bedroom, and that now makes my room feel more homely. I suppose it differs with different people. Some people can settle down anywhere and be fine, whereas others find it very hard to adjust.

[tolkienfan]

Originally Posted by Farimir Captain of Gondor

Good question Eärniel.

I grew up in the military so we moved around a lot. In my mind a house isn't necessarily a home. A home is place where you go and you don't have be anybody but youself. Where you can say and do whatever you want. The things you put in your home are just an extention of you so, a house in its self is just a part of you. A town or city can be a home. I've lived here for longer than any other place before and I consider it home. When people ask "Where are you from?" I say "Marietta". I wasn't born here or even raised here but, I feel this is my home. I can go out with friends and I don't have to be anything I'm not. So, to me the saying 'Home is where the heart is' rings true.

I don't know. I don't make intelligent or awe inspiring post. Just trying to give my opinion.

I would agree with this ^ I also grew up in the military, moving at least once every two years. I got to experience a lot of new places, and people.

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

You know, I was born in Virginia, but I have no idea what makes a Virginian a virginian. I've lived in Texas, but I'm not a Texan. Arkansas, and Tennessee...but I defy having an accent.

I really don't know what to say when people ask me where I'm from...I'm just...from America

I never know where to say I'm from either! When I was in Japan I could just say America, but now that I'm back in America I don't know what to say. I'm currently in CA so I just say there.

Originally Posted by Tessar

This last move was the hardest one for me. It took me over a year before I was even willing to learn my own home phone number . I don't know why I was so stubborn, but now I'm glad that we're here. We'll probably move again, soon... but meh. I'm sort of coming into my own, so I guess I don't mind.

Now what I would really hate, and I think would hurt a lot, is moving somewhere out of town again (like this last move that took me so long to adjust to)... I don't want to have to make new friends all over again. Houses aren't a big deal to me, but the people I already know and I've been working on relationships with... that's my thing.

It is hard to leave all your friends. I don't really make friends that easily. That's one great thing about Entmoot, even if I move, I still have a computer. I don't have to say goodbye to you. I try not to get attached to people or places I'm just going to move away from. My family is very important to me, I would say my home is wherever my family is.

[Beor]

I'm not sure anything makes a house a home. I would say love, but thats too cliche (sp?).

I have found in my travels, that a home is the place where you finally feel you can rest and relax after a hard or stressful day, whether it be somewhere in suburbia or under a mosquito net inside your sleeping bag in a blown out building. Home is like an escape from the rigors of life, one not so permanant as death or detrimental as drugs. Home is where you always want to be, but arent enough

[Bombadillo]

It's the matress, right? I can't remember a vacation that didn't end with me thinking, "man, I can't wait to just get home and flop down in my own bed." Then I can never help smiling when I think of squishing my own pillow around beneath my head and falling asleep.

But really, I think it's comfort or a sense of familiarity that makes a house a home. In my house, though, there's so much nagging, bickering, reminding, reminding again, complaining, procrastinating... the only place in it where I can expect privacy and relaxation is my own bed at night.

Beor, I think you said it best.

[Tessar]

Amen for that.

I have a big-ol body pillow that I like to hug and curl up with. I can fall asleep within seconds if I have the body pillow to snuggle up with. Otherwise it takes me a while.

[Lady Marion Magdalena]

I consider my home to be... mainly where the majority of my memories took place. That covers a wide range of places, some of which have been lost to me as places where I can go and be anymore than a guest, but seeing them, knowing that they exist gives a physical setting to the memories I have of being in them and thus on some level it is still home.

For the places where I do still live, it is the presence of family, friends and personal belongings and the abiltity to be uninhibited (within bounds set by the people I share that home with of course...).

It should be noted that there places have degrees of homliness depending on all sorts of factors.

Within my house, my bedroom and the kitchen feel more like home than say... a sibling's bedroom.
The house as a whole feels more like home than the houses of my Grandparents, and Aunts, but I'm welcome and I've spent a great deal of time in all of them.
All those places feel more like home than the local theater or the schools I went to, yet I consider those to be home territory, having eaten, slept, laughed, cried, lost things, stored belongings etc. inside them.

I'm just territorial in general actually... Nothing gets me upset and downright mean faster than strangers messing with people, places or things which I consider mine. Not the nicest trait, but there you go.

(And I totally agree about the mattress thing. )