After the Storm

[Yodaman]

Here's a little poem I wrote about Frodo after ROTK. Hope you enjoy!

AFTER THE STORM
BY DANNY MOSIER

The storm has passed over me
And so has the war
It has ravaged and raved
At my life’s very core.

The storm was a beast
Having no mercy for the weak
It shreds apart its enemies
And peace it does not seek.

Its effect was like a bee’s sting
Very painful but later smooth
It destroyed my friends
And my old livelihood.

Even though this storm was a dark terror
My life shall go on
I stayed at home to live my life
But it would soon end by the dawn.

I was soon forced to leave my home
Kissing my friends goodbye
But I shall never look back
I shall never think of home with a sigh.

Thus the storm was meaningless
Just a turn of the tide
It never really affected how I would live
Or what the Valar would decide.

THE END

[Ñólendil]

I think you have here a basically good poem, with a good, optimistic spin on the end of Frodo's life.

I would only advise going back to the ends of the lines and attempting to get more rhyming in the scheme, or else go to the rhyming parts and take them out. My point being that it aught to rhyme, or it aught not to rhyme, and not both.

I'm not sure I understand the bee sting simile. How was it smooth later on?

I really like the first stanza and the way it contrasts with the last one in tone. "It has ravaged and raged and my life's very core." Very good.