ADD & ADHD in kids- bad parenting?

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Hey. There is a disagreement among people... a lot of parents use drugs to treat their child's lack of focus and attention... and some people think that these problems (ADD/ADHD) are a result of bad parenting and bad self-control.
What do you think?

[Ruinel]

Some problems are the parents, some is diet... and some is really Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity Disorder, and really does need to be treated with medication.

[azalea]

I agree w/ Ru, plus it can be a combo. I used to teach kids with behavior disorders including ADHD, and I could tell the minute they walked in if they'd forgotten to take their medication. THEY wanted to take it so that they could be successful at school, because they didn't like how they felt -- ruled by their compulsions -- when they hadn't taken it. It made them able to function when they'd taken it. BUT I do think there should come a time as teh child goes through puberty when they should be slowly taken off the medicine, because by that time they should have learned techniques to cope with their problem so that they no longer have to rely on the medication to lead a "normal life," so to speak.

On the other hand, there are plenty of cases where a good behavior modification program is really all the child needs, IOW, the parents are ineffective or inconsistent in their discipline and the child is perhaps difficult but is not medically ADHD (although children with the disorder should have a strong beh. mod. plan, too). Then there's the most frustrating situation where a child obviously has ADHD and AT LEAST needs a strong beh. mod. plan, and the parents seem to be oblivious, or think that by tolerating the behavior the child will miraculously turn out okay. Meanwhile the child makes life miserable for the entire class, with off task, disruptive, and aggressive behavior.

Anyway, any time you're dealing with a behavior disorder, it's difficult because unlike a physical disorder, there are so many social implications for the child AND the parents.

[brownjenkins]

i think drugs should be seen as a last resort... and unfortunately they are not in our country (this has a lot to do with money and politics, but i'll leave that part alone)

i think there is a general desire in our society to develop "perfect" kids, and this blinds a lot of people to the realities of genetics... i know from personal experience that two children brought up in the same environment can have radically different behavior patterns... and this is not necessarily a bad thing... the child that acts out may not be the best scientist when he grows up, but he might be a great entertainer... the opposite might be true of the introvert whose parents want to send him to a psychologist because he doesn't have enough friends

i think parents need to lighten up and let their kids learn to live and deal with their problems through methods they develop themselves, with a little prodding here and there... and also accept that some kids will always be a little nuts, while others will never be the life of the party

some children do need medical or professional help (especially those who do come from a negative family environment), but i think it is a much smaller population than what we see today

[Starr Polish]

I believe ADD/ADHD do exist, but it is extremely overdiagnosed. There are cases of it that require medication, but often it is the result of poor parenting or, like brownjenkins said, pressure to have "perfect children." I often have trouble concentrating in school and on certain things, particularly when I am in a very depressed mood (and sometimes I can go through very long phases of what feels like depression). I have never taken medication for either of these problems. Instead, I rely on myself and my parents to 1) help me concentrate by setting up a specific schedule and goals and 2) Find the source of said depressed episode (if a source exists) and try to focus on the positive things in my life. It's worked for seventeen years.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Like, there are a billion kids at my school that are just totally off the wall... and then there's my dad.
My dad has ADD but he's really different from the stereotype... he's very intelligent and introverted and he doesn't talk much and when he does he sort of sounds like a robot because he plans precisely what he is going to say before he says it.... very different from the high energy compulsive ADD people nowadays... But I believe he really does have ADD because when you're talking to him it's hard for him to remember exactly what you mean... like if my mom tells him a few things to buy at the store he'll have to write it down so he can remember... and like any noises or people talking to him suddenly make him jump and like lose concentration...
it's weird cuz some people might think he acts retarded or something but he's very intelligent...

I've recently been on a trial session on Concerta and I don't know if I REALLY need it. I mean it helps me a lot and it's easier than learning to cope with problems and stuff and I'm lazy and irresponsible lol
It's kinda dumb because I'm on two medications and I don't attend counselling or therapy or anything really... I just go down to the shrink and complain about something and he gives me a pill... I prefer it that way, I used to go to counselling but it didn't help me any... and my parents don't seem to think talking about things and 'coping with' problems, just pop a pill... ya know?

[Elvengirl]

I do not believe in ADD or ADHD at all. There's no scientific evidence to declaring ADD/ADHD is a brain disorder. Kids should not be given these drugs. It is ridiculous to say that just becuase a child is energetic and happy and playful, he needs to be given a pill. If a child is having trouble studying, then handle it. There are succesful ways to help children and using these drugs are the worst thing to do.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Hmmm... so you think psychiatrists in general are bad? All drugs used to treat disorders and stuff are bad?
It's hard for me to think about that as well... it's like they're trying manipulate everyone into the same mood and make us all the same, and just because our brains are different they're trying to fit them all in the same mould...

I do think though that some stuff cannot be 'snapped out of' or 'dealt with' without the aid of something tweaking the chemicals in the brain... as god-playing and brainwashing as that may sound...

[Starr Polish]

I think pills should be used as an absolute last resort, even when they're just painkillers. I rarely take Tylenol or ibuprofen (I don't take aspirin), and I only take cold and cough medicines when I can hardly breath or can't sleep at night because of the cough. Even then, I try "natural" remedies like herbal tea before anything else.

When you take a medicine, you're altering your bodies natural chemistry. Yeah, sometimes your natural chemistry can be screwed up, too, but I think just putting more chemicals in your body could do more harm than help in some situations. I'm pretty sure that not all of the long term side effects of some drugs for things like depression and other psychological disorders have been discovered yet (there are studies that show that some anti-depressants, such as Prozac and Zoloft, has actually been the possible cause of suicidal thoughts and attempts in some patients). Also, there are natural ways to boost seratonin, which I believe is one of the chemicals that is lacking when one is suffereing depression. What this has to do with ADD/ADHD, I'm not really sure.

I'm not saying "Pills are bad, medicine is evil and you go to hell if you take it." Not at all. Some things do need chemical intervention. I believe, however, this is done way too often, and too many people have the "Oh, just pop a pill and the problem will go away" mentality. It doesn't. This is how addictions happen. And, what's scarier, that's one of the themes in Aldous Huxley's very disturbing book "Brave New World."

[brownjenkins]

i went to school for psych for many years and one thing that hit me is how much guesswork is involved with diagnosing and treating patients both with and without drugs... all the time you would see two or three different "professionals" come up with often completely different diagnoses and remedies for the same patient... always get as many opinions as you can and try to find the most reasonable one, or maybe something in the middle

and on drugs... if you are prescribed one, i highly suggest doing your own research on the web... there are so many new ones out today and you would be amazed at how often doctors prescribing them are not even aware of possible side effects and drug to drug interactions that may occur in certain individuals

[Sminty_Smeagol]

Yeah... my psychiatrist doesn't really diagnose me... he puts me on trials for a pill if he thinks I had ADD and sees what it does. If it is perfect, he'll keep me on it and if I'm having a problem with it he might try to figure out which drug would be better for it...

But so far we're having pretty lucky guesses I think

[Insidious Rex]

Sminty I think you need to approach the question from your point of view and not a general one. Because every case is different. Thats kind of bizare that some people think ALL medications are bad and all psychiatrists are evil and kids need to just "snap out of it". Good grief come on. Join the real world here. But yeah I think you need to think about things based on your situation alone and decide whats best for you. I know youve been on other medications in the past and have stopped using them for certain reasons. If you feel your current medication for hyperactivity is a major hinderance then obviously you should rethink (or at least attempt to have your parents rethink) your use of these medications. If its helping you at school or helping your behavior at home then maybe its something you want to continue. It really comes down to you and to each person who is taking the drugs and their own situations.

for what its worth you seem less helter skelter to have a conversation with lately but then its realy hard to tell anything online. plus you dont really know how much of an effect maturity is playing as well. (yes i know, i used the "M" word. sorry). not to mention dozens of other things. Theres a lot of factors involved.

[Elvengirl]

This website explains exactly what I am saying. It is all factual information and I hope it helps you.
www.cchr.org

There are other better alternatives to taking drugs and going to psychiatrists. Sorry IR but they are bad. I'm not saying peolpe need to "snap out of it" but DO NOT take a drug for it. That is not the correct handling, they are more harmful than helpful.

[brownjenkins]

i don't think all psychiatrists are bad, but i think a majority of them are... or maybe to put it it better, they begin to believe that their theories are fact and become less and less open to new ideas as time goes by (of course, many people are this way)

there is a general trend that if a drug seems to work, it should continue to be used unless and until some unfortunate side-effect pops up... and that same drug is then more readily offered to new patients who seem to have the same problems

[Starr Polish]

o.O I never said all medicine is bad...I specifically said that that wasn't what I meant at all. I didn't mention psychiatrists at all. There are good ones out there, I'm sure. Heck, I'm majoring in psychology, and since that profession is in the same vein as what I am hoping to pursue, I can't really insult it too much, now, can I?

Just "snapping out of it" can happen though, even in some situations you would think required medicine. Been there, done that.

edit: Because of the recent stress and a lot of bad things that have been happening to me (see venting thread: someone I knew drowned, I left a job I didn't really want to because I felt I was being treated appallingly...blah blah blah), some of my old behaviors and "sadness" are popping up again. If it doens't go away, I'd gladly see a therapist/psychologist, if my parents think it is necessary. But I refuse to pop pills for something I've managed before without medication, and I feel if I went to a psychiatrist that's what would be reccommended.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

i have never heard of anybody who is against drugs as mood medicators completely before...

I've heard of a study done... on dead people... and those that were reportedly depressed while alive had different chemistry than those that weren't... there was a common absence of some chemical in the brain or spine or something... I wish I could find the article.

[Insidious Rex]

Originally posted by Starr Polish
o.O I never said all medicine is bad...I specifically said that that wasn't what I meant at all. I didn't mention psychiatrists at all. There are good ones out there, I'm sure. Heck, I'm majoring in psychology, and since that profession is in the same vein as what I am hoping to pursue, I can't really insult it too much, now, can I?

I was referring to elfgirls rather shocking statement not yours starr. dont worry. I dont think drugs are the ultimate answer either and they are often used as a mask or a crutch which can lead to further problems. But i think its silly to write them ALL off as a rule. i mean where do you draw the line? what about drugs that are taken because of physical injury? are those bad too? its all one body system. its just plain wrong to say ALL drugs are bad and ALL mental health officials are misguided and harmful. sounds a lot like a Christian Scientist argument.

EDIT: ok i didnt see your little link there. yes the CCHR is a front body for the Church of Scientology. Ok now it all makes sense.

[Starr Polish]

Was it seratonin, Sminty? I've heard about a lot of studies on that...I'm sure there are other chemicals and whatnot that are being studied and are possible causes as well.

[Elvengirl]

Just to let you know I have already replied twice to this thread, but the post was deleted and now I don't have time to rewrite it.

Just a quick note, The Church of Scientology has nothing to do with Christian Scientists and CCHR is not a front for it. CCHR was established by the Church, but it is an independant group.

[Sminty_Smeagol]

does the church of scientology hate drug treatment, too?

lol I told me dad that I found this website by some group that was saying how drug treatment for mood disorders and ADHD are bad and how it should be stopped and he was like 'oh, was that some church of scientology website? You know, I think they don't want people taking treatments for mental problems because they need crazy people to keep believing in all their stuff'

I heard the church of scientology isnt christian or nething