Christmas?

Fimbrethil · 12-15-2003, 08:41 PM

I really couldn't think of agood name for this thread so that'll have to do. I have a question for some of the older Mooters or at lest those who know a tiny bit about psycology. Last years christmas with my family was okay but there was alot of underlying tension, well during the past year that tension came to a boil and for a while we were having some family problems (my aunts a drug addict, she's in jail now, I am posting this more or less because of her but that's another story). I really want to make this a good chirstmas for everyone and I geuss it shows because my parents said I should slow down a little (I was on a decorating rampage). Is my subconcious being repressed? The fact that no one wants to talk about this because it is the holiday season is bugging me...I need to talk about it. Please post a reply!

Anglorfin · 12-15-2003, 09:23 PM

Umm I don't know if I can help or not but I hate the holidays for just that reason. It seems to me that everyone has to put on a fake face for so long it just disgusts me. Call me a scrooge or whatever but I'd rather show how I feel than walk around with a smile like an idiot for a month.

And I'd say that tension in the family is normal, especially when every is trying so hard to sit on it and not let it show. I'm not sying fighting is a good thing, but holidays in generaly usually cause more stress than anything else just for the reason that everybody is striving to make themselves appear so jovial all the time. Maybe spend some time just talking to a few relatives at a time. If you always go to big social events with the family it's too crowded and everybody has something to say. Try visiting a few relatives at a time that way there won't be so many opinions getting flung around.

Lizra · 12-15-2003, 09:28 PM

I find if you don't have overly high expectations of holiday "magic", you'll have an easier go.

Just try to help out when you see a need (present wrapping, cooking, cleaning, not rushing people to do things if they are tired or a little burnt out) and be willing to over look little things that others might say or do. Just try to go with the flow, and be cheerful. Grownups can feel a lot of pressure to make Christmas a big special deal, like a tv fantasy. Just aim for some good moments, some good food, and a sense of relaxation for EVERYONE! Christmas is supposed to be a sort of vacation!

Good luck! If there's a bad moment or two (there always is!) just sweep it under the rug and forget it.

Lizra · 12-15-2003, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anglorfin
Umm I don't know if I can help or not but I hate the holidays for just that reason. It seems to me that everyone has to put on a fake face for so long it just disgusts me. Call me a scrooge or whatever but I'd rather show how I feel than walk around with a smile like an idiot for a month.

And I'd say that tension in the family is normal, especially when every is trying so hard to sit on it and not let it show. I'm not sying fighting is a good thing, but holidays in generaly usually cause more stress than anything else just for the reason that everybody is striving to make themselves appear so jovial all the time. Maybe spend some time just talking to a few relatives at a time. If you always go to big social events with the family it's too crowded and everybody has something to say. Try visiting a few relatives at a time that way there won't be so many opinions getting flung around.

Heh! I'm a little glad I'm in a real small family sometimes!

Sometimes I get that "waitress feeling" of "give them what they want and get THEM OUT OF HERE!"

when out of town relatives are around for awhile! Heh!

I'm such a crank!

Fimbrethil · 12-17-2003, 04:40 PM

You guys are such a help. Thanks for caring. (Read my sig)

Guillaume le Maréchal · 12-17-2003, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Call me a scrooge or whatever but I'd rather show how I feel than walk around with a smile like an idiot for a month.

Well, I say, try smiling like an idiot for a month!

Let it go, and have fun, Fim. Its not your fault! You are a good person, and good people are needed, especially around Christmas time. Take it easy and have fun, enjoy the lights, and smile, not because you are faking, but because you have much to be happy for... jail isn't the worst thing that could have happened to your aunt... I know from personal experience... and like my family, you might find that this can be an opportunity for your family to forge even stronger relationships.

--Dave

Ruinel · 12-18-2003, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anglorfin
Umm I don't know if I can help or not but I hate the holidays for just that reason. It seems to me that everyone has to put on a fake face for so long it just disgusts me. Call me a scrooge or whatever but I'd rather show how I feel than walk around with a smile like an idiot for a month.

And I'd say that tension in the family is normal, especially when every is trying so hard to sit on it and not let it show. I'm not sying fighting is a good thing, but holidays in generaly usually cause more stress than anything else just for the reason that everybody is striving to make themselves appear so jovial all the time....

You got it right.

Bears have it made. They sleep for the winter with a plug of feces in their butt.... hmmm... wait... that's kinda gross... nevermind.

Anglorfin · 12-18-2003, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ruinel
You got it right.

Bears have it made. They sleep for the winter with a plug of feces in their butt.... hmmm... wait... that's kinda gross... nevermind.

Bears rule! I'd so be a bear if I could and just laze around all day in constipated sluggishness. Except maybe my bowels would be a little more regular.

macmico · 12-19-2003, 11:55 AM

although you are obviously trying very hard to improve everyones christmas, you should concentrate more on enjoying yours. christmas i feel can be more a time of remembering than forgetting. by trying so hard you can be let down. just relax and enjoy the time when families and friend come together. dont feel guilty if someone chooses to dwell on unhappy times nothing you can do will change the day's meaning to them.

the magic of christmas appears on its own not by what you do to achieve it.

you are not alone everyone has personal tragedy that they remember at this time of year.

at the end of christmas day take away the good things that have happened

i hope that you have a very merry christmas

Elvellyn · 12-20-2003, 08:28 PM

Ah, this explains the gift wrapping bows in your hair...a little.

What exactly do you mean by 'your subconcious being repressed'

12-15-2003, 08:41 PM	#1
Fimbrethil My microwave speaks to me Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Having conversations with my major household appliances. Posts: 937	Christmas? I really couldn't think of agood name for this thread so that'll have to do. I have a question for some of the older Mooters or at lest those who know a tiny bit about psycology. Last years christmas with my family was okay but there was alot of underlying tension, well during the past year that tension came to a boil and for a while we were having some family problems (my aunts a drug addict, she's in jail now, I am posting this more or less because of her but that's another story). I really want to make this a good chirstmas for everyone and I geuss it shows because my parents said I should slow down a little (I was on a decorating rampage). Is my subconcious being repressed? The fact that no one wants to talk about this because it is the holiday season is bugging me...I need to talk about it. Please post a reply! __________________ Bah, Bah black sheep have oyu any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, one for the little boy who lives down the lane! Bah, bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full. I'll be gone for a while. But never fear! "I shall return anon!"

12-15-2003, 09:23 PM	#2
Anglorfin Alasailon Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: college Posts: 861	Umm I don't know if I can help or not but I hate the holidays for just that reason. It seems to me that everyone has to put on a fake face for so long it just disgusts me. Call me a scrooge or whatever but I'd rather show how I feel than walk around with a smile like an idiot for a month. And I'd say that tension in the family is normal, especially when every is trying so hard to sit on it and not let it show. I'm not sying fighting is a good thing, but holidays in generaly usually cause more stress than anything else just for the reason that everybody is striving to make themselves appear so jovial all the time. Maybe spend some time just talking to a few relatives at a time. If you always go to big social events with the family it's too crowded and everybody has something to say. Try visiting a few relatives at a time that way there won't be so many opinions getting flung around. __________________ "and then this hobbit was walking, and then this elf jumped out of a bush and totally flipped out on him while wailing on his guitar." "Anglorfin was tall and straight; his hair was of shining gold, his face fair and young and fearless and full of anger; his eyes were bright and keen, and his voice like music; on his brow sat wisdom, and in his hand was great skill."

12-15-2003, 09:28 PM	#3
Lizra Domesticated Swing Babe Join Date: May 2002 Location: Reality Posts: 5,340	I find if you don't have overly high expectations of holiday "magic", you'll have an easier go. Just try to help out when you see a need (present wrapping, cooking, cleaning, not rushing people to do things if they are tired or a little burnt out) and be willing to over look little things that others might say or do. Just try to go with the flow, and be cheerful. Grownups can feel a lot of pressure to make Christmas a big special deal, like a tv fantasy. Just aim for some good moments, some good food, and a sense of relaxation for EVERYONE! Christmas is supposed to be a sort of vacation! Good luck! If there's a bad moment or two (there always is!) just sweep it under the rug and forget it. __________________ Happy Atheist Go Democrats!

12-17-2003, 04:40 PM	#5
Fimbrethil My microwave speaks to me Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Having conversations with my major household appliances. Posts: 937	You guys are such a help. Thanks for caring. (Read my sig) __________________ Bah, Bah black sheep have oyu any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, one for the little boy who lives down the lane! Bah, bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full. I'll be gone for a while. But never fear! "I shall return anon!"

12-19-2003, 11:55 AM	#9
macmico Hobbit Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: paisley (scotland) Posts: 35	although you are obviously trying very hard to improve everyones christmas, you should concentrate more on enjoying yours. christmas i feel can be more a time of remembering than forgetting. by trying so hard you can be let down. just relax and enjoy the time when families and friend come together. dont feel guilty if someone chooses to dwell on unhappy times nothing you can do will change the day's meaning to them. the magic of christmas appears on its own not by what you do to achieve it. you are not alone everyone has personal tragedy that they remember at this time of year. at the end of christmas day take away the good things that have happened i hope that you have a very merry christmas __________________ "he passed over dor-nu-fauglith like a wind amid the dust, and all that beheld his onset fled in amaze, thinking that orome himself was come"

12-20-2003, 08:28 PM	#10
Elvellyn The Redneck Elf Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: In a house Posts: 539	Ah, this explains the gift wrapping bows in your hair...a little. What exactly do you mean by 'your subconcious being repressed' __________________ Oliphants make great pets. Last edited by Elvellyn : 12-20-2003 at 08:31 PM.

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