He's engaged!?

Since were talking about marriage,

- For the older here: do you still think it's important for a couple?
- For the yougers: Do you believe in marriage and do you plan to get married later? Or do you believe it to be not-so-important...?

Shan why must you always start new threads instead of using exsisting ones? You know this is what makes old threads dissapear

Ever.

It's a long, sordid story, and I would bet money that you do not want to hear about it.

You have to share money with someone. I hate that.

Sorry Tater, maybe I like things to be in order a little too much. For me the idea came from the other thread but is not related.

To Johny, why not?

I do not believe marriage is only about money... it's to a higher degree (in my humble opinion)

Yes, it is. You have to share living space too.

I like money

And I'm not kidding about that.

JL....if you do not want to discuss yourself that is one thing, but to make a post saying, "it's a long, sordid story, and I would bet money that you do not want to hear about it." is just asking for people to ask you about it. If you really don't want to discuss it, why bait people?

I have friend that do this... always p* me off.

But you're forgiven ... if you tell the story (just kidding)

JL's been doing that for ages

This must really be a complex concept for you guys. Because if I were just to say "No", you would ask "why not?"

And now you've PROVEN that you AREN'T GOING TO LISTEN TO ME because EVEN WHEN I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW (AND THUS YOU SHOULDN'T ASK), YOU'RE STILL ASKING ME ABOUT IT!

*ponders*

No, I won't insult you guys.

I hope you aren't including me in "you guys". I don't care what your story is. But I do wonder why you keep bring up things here that you don't wish to share, yet you mention anyhow. It just makes no sense to me.

How many times have you brought up something on this board, only to ask that no one ask you anything about it. When someone does, you fly off the handle at them and basically insult them for it. If you don't want to discuss it, please don't bring it up. This is a discussion board, used for discussing things that people want to discuss. If you are unable (for whatever reason) to discuss things about yourself, wouldn't it make sense not to bring it up?

"I would bet money that you do not want to hear about it."

Shan would have won the bet it seems.

You have to share money with someone. I hate that.

mRoWrY.....but what if the other person makes more money than you? Wouldn't you want to share then? :lol:

Shan's right. If a marriage is about money then those involved will know nothing but greed and want. That is no way to live. It is an interesting topic marriage and money, one that has been relevant in our lives (which I have no fears of sharing with any of you).

When Mike and I first started going out (we lived together for 5 years before we got married btw) neither of us made a whole lot of money....we were both just starting out. Money wasn't a big issue....we had enough to pay rent, feed ourselves, payback school loans, go out when we liked (Louisville is a cheap place to live).

He was just starting out as a graphic designer and didn't plan on making a million dollars by the time he was thirty or anything. But as time went on he realized, as did those that employed him, that he was one hell of a designer. His salary kept going up and up. He himself couldn't believe the amount that he was capable of pulling in.

The ad agency that he works for was pitching a huge client that promised to make us and everyone at the company a whole lot of cash...and obscene amount really. Our heads were filled with things we could buy, places we could go, investments we could make. They won the pitch, got the big cash client and the dough started rolling in....big raise, big bonus. But then the bottom fell out. The company lost the client and a lot of money. It made us crazy to be so close only to have it taken away from us. And it is not like he didn't work hard....sometimes 100 hours a week....literally.

But it was a great thing to have happened really. It made us step back, take a look at ourselves, look at what we almost had become. The lure of that money was almost too much too bear. It was like winning the lottery or something. But now that it is no longer an issue, we are much more capable of enjoying and being grateful for the things we have. I can see why so many marriages are lost over money....it's not that you fight over how it's spent (although i'm sure a lot do), but you lose sight of the things that are the most important. Your life becomes, "what can I get?" not "what can I give?".

You still have plenty of time to change your ideas on that matter anyway guys...

I agree with you Anduin. I've been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years. I learned that you should not count the money you spend for the loved one.

The important thing is to make the other happy. It costs you 30$ to bring her (him) somewhere? Will (s)he be happy? If the answer is yes, then cash doesn't matter.

Sure, when you have just enough to live, it's sometimes hard to do many things.

I have an opinion, but I'm not going to share it here, you just don't wanna hear it. Don't even ask me what it is!

Marriage isn't about money, but you could look at it like a contract if that viewpoint makes it easier for you. Both parties to a marriage have things they need or want from the relationship, and have things they are willing to give. These things may or may not be healthy for the relationship, which is why people need to make preparations for marriage by taking classes, and may need counseling after the fact to learn how to have a healthy marriage. There are things that marriage is designed for and things it is not after all, and if you are expecting things from it that it wasn't designed for, the marriage is going to flop, and you get bummed out on the whole idea.

Many people go into marriage, for instance, expecting their partner to make them happy and getting mad whent he person doesn't do so. They forget that other people can make you miserable, but they can't make you happy for the most part.

Sorry, I've always been told I was horrifyingly practical.

Hey JL, you can tell me. (Actually, you might have brought it up in the past but I don't remember very clearly.)

Now, my opinion on marriage:

Marriage is a concept that began as arranged "breeding" under a religious doctrine, usually for the purpose of power, wealth or politics. Love was not a part of it. However, because of human nature, love got in the way anyway.

So now we have the present day, where not one religion is all-encompassing, where religion is not even an issue most people consider when they consider marriage. Power and wealth? Maybe. But mostly, for love.

Why is it that the divorce rate is so high? Because marriage has degenerated into nothing more than a long-term committed relationship - basically, serious dating that is tremendously expensive and loaded with paperwork. Marriage is, in many ways, a contract. We live in a world where these contracts are broken every day.

My opinion is that the concept of marriage is collapsing upon itself. I also think that marriage only exists now for one legitimate purpose: so kids can have a mommy and daddy. Because single-parent families suck.

Wow, you people are so serious.