What's the problem with parents and adults

[jerseydevil]

There seems to be serious problems with parents raising their children. For instance - an 11 year old was kicked in the head by a parent at a little leagues game because he was cheering against her son's team.

In Long Island - 15 students are suspended from their high school's baseball team (the school no longer has a team) because during their trip down to Florida for "spring training" they ended up spending a night at a strip club. Some of the students were only sophomores (I have no idea how they were even able to get in). The parents are outraged because they said this decision by the school is threatening their child's sports "career" and preventing them from doing something they love.

Parents again are outraged by the suspension of thier children in the hazing incident. They said that by the school suspending them - they are preventing their children from enjoying the last couple of weeks and special events scheduled by the school prior to graduation. These teenage girls sent people to the hospital and the parents are more concerned about their children (the perpetrators) not being able to have fun during the last couple of weeks before graduation. Some of these parents are also accused of supplying alcohol to the girls. Some parents are going so far to even sue the school because they think they feel their children are being wrongly punished. My feeling is - they're lucky to still be able to participate in graduation which I think they are.

New Jersey, two years ago, passed laws concerning parents behavior at little league games. These laws resulted from the behaviour of parents on two opposing New York teams during a little league tornament - which ended up in a huge fight, with parents having to go to the hospital and several being arrested. Now parents can be forced to go to anger management, good sportsmanship training and even be arrested for extreme outbursts during childrens' sporting events. They can even be barred from attending their child's games.

A couple of years ago parents of a high school student - sponsored a pary for his baseball team - they hired a stripper and supplied alcohol for the team. The parents were home at the time but were supposedly not on the back porch where the action was. Needless to say - stripping wasn't the only thing that was going on on the back porch. The parents were brought up on child endangerment laws

In Indiana several years ago - these teen age boys were upset that a house was built on their hangout. Right before the house was finished - they trashed the place. They ripped out the plumping, they destroyed the bathroom, put holes in all the walls. Instead of the parents being outraged by the behaviour of their children - they blamed the owner and said there weren't any "NO Trespassing" signs up. They actually had the nerve to come on TV and say their children weren't responsible because there were no signs.

Some parents have a serious problem. They seem to either want to be their child's friend, or they live through their child or their child does nothing wrong and every one else is out to get them. People can't even enjoy a little league game without adults and parents ruining it anymore it seems like.

[Ruinel]

I'm shocked!!!! I'm speachless!!!!

[Baby-K]

Only in America.............. J/K

It's disgusting really, seems to me to be the result of all that so-called 'psychological' raising.........ye know, the folks who rely so much on some daft psychologist's Self Help books & while reading how to do it are forgetting to actually bloody well get the job done..........

If I had done those things my dad would have tanned my hide for sure (I used to get my fair share of spankings when I was a kid & believe me one smack from dad & ye didn't feel the inclination to do that particular naughty thing again - just a pity I always seemed to find other naughty things to do )

*ooh - an aside, but I have to mention this 'cos it has put a smile on me dial, the radio is playing The Cult (she sells sanctuary)*

[Sween]

You crazy yanks ! seriously i stopped my dad going to any sports i played in took it way to serious would allways have a right go at me......the w****r

[Coney]

New Jersey, two years ago, passed laws concerning parents behavior at little league games. These laws resulted from the behaviour of parents on two opposing New York teams during a little league tornament - which ended up in a huge fight, with parents having to go to the hospital and several being arrested. Now parents can be forced to go to anger management, good sportsmanship training and even be arrested for extreme outbursts during childrens' sporting events. They can even be barred from attending their child's games.

I'd send the parents back to school..........maybe start them back at kindergarden

There seems to be serious problems with parents raising their children. For instance - an 11 year old was kicked in the head by a parent at a little leagues game because he was cheering against her son's team.

That person should do time in jail.........and be prevented from even being within' ten mile of kids

[Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn]

wow...and i thought the parents at our softball games were bad.....

[Baby-K]

Ye know, in SA the parents might smack each other now & again (but that gets sorted quite fast) and the kids might brawl on the field (talking rugby here) - but that gets stopped since they are all weary of getting red carded. But I have never seen a parent kick or smack a kid for his performance on the sportsfield........to be honest I'd prolly have the oke arrested anyway.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by Baby-K
Only in America.............. J/K

I'll ignore since you had a "j/k" after it.

It's disgusting really, seems to me to be the result of all that so-called 'psychological' raising.........ye know, the folks who rely so much on some daft psychologist's Self Help books & while reading how to do it are forgetting to actually bloody well get the job done..........

Yeah - it's like those people who think grades shouldn't be given because you'll hurt the self esteem of the students who don't do well. Or the people who want to elimate tag and dodge ball.

If I had done those things my dad would have tanned my hide for sure (I used to get my fair share of spankings when I was a kid & believe me one smack from dad & ye didn't feel the inclination to do that particular naughty thing again - just a pity I always seemed to find other naughty things to do )

My parents were the same way. I have a friend though whose parents just let him get away with anything. He now worries about staying out of rehab and stuff. When he was a sophomore in high school - he ordered CDs from a music club. He got tons of CDs - but didn't have a job or anyway to pay for them. He started getting letters demanding payment. Instead of his parents telling him to get a job, mow lawns or anything and pay the money back - they wrote a letter to the company and told them that he was underage and they should just cut their loses now. That he was under no obligation to pay because he wasn't 18. My parents would have made me pay it back and made me get a job - although I had been babysitting since I was 12 - so I had always worked..

[Insidious Rex]

didnt one of those long island parents actually kill another one when they got into an argument at a little league game? i seem to remember that happening.

yeah too many parents suck these days. its all the baby boomers fault! silly miopic self centered Me generation.... but seriously, some people simply dont know how to parent. some people just shouldnt be allowed to BE parents in my opinion. its like that line from that movie: "You need a license to drive, you need a license to have a dog, hell you need a damn license to catch a fish! But any butt reaming a**hole can be a dad."

[Rían]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
.....Some parents have a serious problem. They seem to either want to be their child's friend, or they live through their child or their child does nothing wrong and every one else is out to get them.

Originally posted by Baby-K
It's disgusting really, seems to me to be the result of all that so-called 'psychological' raising.........ye know, the folks who rely so much on some daft psychologist's Self Help books & while reading how to do it are forgetting to actually bloody well get the job done..........

If I had done those things my dad would have tanned my hide for sure (I used to get my fair share of spankings when I was a kid & believe me one smack from dad & ye didn't feel the inclination to do that particular naughty thing again [/B]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
Yeah - it's like those people who think grades shouldn't be given because you'll hurt the self esteem of the students who don't do well. Or the people who want to elimate tag and dodge ball.....
My parents would have made me pay it back and made me get a job [/B]

Good comments, IMO (as a parent!) "Friend" is an eventual goal, when they are adults, but right now, I'm MOM!!! And it's my duty to help my kids grow and develop and keep them safe, whether or not they get mad at me. I let them know I'm "on their side", but I try to set the boundaries then let the consequences fall if they CHOOSE to disobey (key word - CHOOSE). (IOW, "on their side" means doing whatever is necessary, even if it's painful or tough, to help them learn and grow. I don't punish for the fun of it, or because I don't like them - I punish because I LOVE them, and some things are only learned thru negative consequences.)

Another thing that was a bad idea, IMO - the people that go nuts "babyproofing". Sure, put away your priceless Ming dynasty vase (yeah, RIGHT! ), but leave out some stuff and just TRAIN them to not touch it! Kids don't learn self-control if you remove all of the things that they need to have self-control about. You should have plenty of "yes" things, but some "no" things, too.

(BTW - my son lost his lunch bag again - guess who's paying to buy a new one out of his allowance?)

And yes, we use 'spanking' on occasion - but not what we call 'cultural spanking' (which is spanking out of frustration or desperation) - there are certain offenses that carry the penalty of a swat (and they know ahead of time what these offenses are) - if the offense is committed, they get a swat, it's that simple. And because they know ahead of time, there's no anger from a sense of injustice (like when people spank from frustration or because they're at the end of their rope - the kids are frustrated because the spanking boundary is constantly changing, depending upon their parents' mood).

Let me just add, tho, that parenting is incredibly difficult, and needs lots of prayer time and asking for wisdom from God.

[Artanis]

Those examples you give is rather scary JD. If parents are unable to behave decently themselves, how can they possibly bring up children properly.

Originally posted by Baby-K
It's disgusting really, seems to me to be the result of all that so-called 'psychological' raising.........ye know, the folks who rely so much on some daft psychologist's Self Help books & while reading how to do it are forgetting to actually bloody well get the job done.......... )

What exactly do you mean by "so-called 'psychological' raising"? I've got three kids. When my first child was born I learned from other parents, read books about how to bring up children - and used my common sense. Has worked out fine so far.

About spanking: In Norway smacking children is illegal. I'm also against it - in all forms. I think it's unnecessary. I could never wilfully hurt any of my children physically, whatsoever their offence. In fact we rarely use punishment at all - talking about my family now. That is not the same as there are no consequences when they're doing something wrong, but these consequences comes natural from their actions (as RÃ*an's son paying for a new lunch-bag himself).

[Rían]

We'll have to have a discussion about spanking sometime, Artanis because I know the two of us parents, at least, can behave ourselves (most of the time... ) *refrains from throwing a chair at Artanis j/k!* But gotta go pick up the kids now and root for my oldest son on the all-star basketball team - Go! Go! Go! Rah! Rah! Kill the ref!! (oops! j/k!)

You guys would like these games (in terms of well-behaved parents), they're the 6th grade intermural basketball teams, and the parents at our school are really wonderful (private Christian school) - most of us know the kids on the other teams, because our kids have been going to school with them for years, and we cheer our favorites on the other side, as well as our own team. Go us!

[durin's bane]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
There seems to be serious problems with parents raising their children. For instance - an 11 year old was kicked in the head by a parent at a little leagues game because he was cheering against her son's team.

New Jersey, two years ago, passed laws concerning parents behavior at little league games. These laws resulted from the behaviour of parents on two opposing New York teams during a little league tornament - which ended up in a huge fight, with parents having to go to the hospital and several being arrested. Now parents can be forced to go to anger management, good sportsmanship training and even be arrested for extreme outbursts during childrens' sporting events. They can even be barred from attending their child's games.

Ah, the dangers of Little League parents.

[Starr Polish]

That's pretty shocking, but luckily those are the BAD examples, and they are a couple deviations from the norm. Sadly, not as many as they used to be.

I agree, it's absolutely ridiculous. My parents would never act that way at a little league (or even high school level) game. That may be because neither of them are that into sports, but my stepdad is, and even though he comes home and rants about bad calls and bad coaches, he wouldn't kick a child in the head about something, or attack another parent. I feel sorry for the kids that have to deal with parents like that. They're obviously being pushed very hard and their parents have high expectations, most likely unreasonably high. There's nothing wrong with high expectations, but extreme stress put on an elementary student? Geeze.

And about the parents supporting kids drinking and, eh, other activities. I'd have to agree that those people are living vicariously through their children, and it's disgusting. I would be stripped of all my privileges (cell phone, computer, driving, going out) if I was caught doing something like that, and probably be given extra chores and the like. I wouldn't doubt I might get a bit of a swat if it was something particularly stupid.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your child's friend, but being a PARENT comes first and foremost.

[gollum9630]

i read in my christian ed class about of group of boys in california who had a contest. the wanted to see who could get laid the most. when they eventually got caught, the parents blamed the girls, even though some were gang raped. one kid even raped a 10 year old, and the parents were defending the boys action. the said they were proud their sons could get laid so many times

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by gollum9630
i read in my christian ed class about of group of boys in california who had a contest. the wanted to see who could get laid the most. when they eventually got caught, the parents blamed the girls, even though some were gang raped. one kid even raped a 10 year old, and the parents were defending the boys action. the said they were proud their sons could get laid so many times

I remember that one. I didn't hear them ever being involved with a 10 year old though. They kept score and they had extra points for virgins I think. The parents attitude was that "boys will be boys". They were upset by peopel making a big deal about it.

[gollum9630]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
I remember that one. I didn't hear them ever being involved with a 10 year old though. They kept score and they had extra points for virgins I think. The parents attitude was that "boys will be boys". They were upset by peopel making a big deal about it.

i had to read the article, and then answer questions. i find weird that most of these examples happen in america. just a thought, i am not suggesting anything JD

[Coney]

Originally posted by gollum9630
i read in my christian ed class about of group of boys in california who had a contest. the wanted to see who could get laid the most. when they eventually got caught, the parents blamed the girls, even though some were gang raped. one kid even raped a 10 year old, and the parents were defending the boys action. the said they were proud their sons could get laid so many times

That sounds more like a Saxon invasion...........In fact it sounds more like it deserves a group-lobotomy session :/

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by gollum9630
i had to read the article, and then answer questions. i find weird that most of these examples happen in america. just a thought, i am not suggesting anything JD

Well America is a big country and local news media isn't going to say something about an occurance in England or France or Russia - unless it is truly horrific. I'm sure not many people on the west coast knew about some of the examples I mentioned.

[gollum9630]

Originally posted by jerseydevil
Well America is a big country and local news media isn't going to say something about an occurance in England or France or Russia - unless it is truly horrific. I'm sure not many people on the west coast knew about some of the examples I mentioned.

not the speciffic ones, but i have heard of ones like them.