Eating Disorders

Erawyn · 09-19-2002, 09:58 PM

What are everyones thought/opinions? Do you think that the media/society is mostly to blame (girls thinking they're too fat etc) I think that a lot of the time it is, but sometimes its about control too. On tv awhile ago i saw something about little girls (like 4-5) thinking they're fat, eating paper and running in their rooms at night, thats sad.

One of my good friends has been anorexic since gr 4 (we're in gr 10 now) and i am so worried about her. She was in the hospital for all of the summer and third term of last year. She comes on MSN and she complains about how fat she is! I don't know what to say to her anymore.

galadriel88 · 09-19-2002, 10:17 PM

I think eating disorders are sad, terrible things that should never happen to anyone. I do think the media is to blame most of the time because compared to those stick-thin models most companies use and the stars who have their photos airbrushed, most of us are fat! But in truth, most of us are completely healthy and normal, and that's what many girls and women are failing to see. Now granted, some people really are overweight, but the dieting shouldn't go too far. You need to be healthy, not underweight. And that's very sad about your friend, Erawyn. I would just try to encourage her as much as possible. Tell her not to compare herself to anyone else, and you might could try finding some chart that shows what healthy weights are for certain heights and ages. Show her what's healthy for her, and tell her that's where she should be. Hope this helps!

Laurelyn · 09-20-2002, 05:43 AM

Oh, Erawyn, I hope your friend gets better. I really do . . . that would be awful.

How would one tell if one was anorexic? I mean, how little does a person have to eat to halfway kill themselves? I would like to ensure I never go down that road . . . . my friends, as is, are always prodding me to eat lunch. But who the heck is hungry at 11:30??

Nilvasaien · 09-20-2002, 01:52 PM

The big issue behind most eating disorders is control (or rather, feeling a lack thereof). Women often develop eating disorders because they feel they have no control over most parts of their lives. However, they can control how much they eat, how long it stays in their bodies, how much they exercise, etc. Eating disorders are much more complicated than they might appear. I'm glad your friend has you to care about her. Hopefully, she's still participating in some type of therapy. There is no quick fix; she won't be better if she gains a few pounds. She has to learn new, healthy ways to cope with the stressors in her life. She didn't develop this problem over night; it won't get better over night either. I'll keep a good thought for her.

Artanis · 09-20-2002, 01:54 PM

I had eating disorder in my teens, I wasn't anorectic but the opposite, I don't know what it's called in English. I ate huge amounts of food and threw it up afterwards. I lost about 10 kilos in that period. For me this was a way to gain control of at least part of my life, which else was rather bad at that time. I also had very little confidence in myself and wanted people to like me, so I thought it would help being thinner

It's ridiculous, but at that time I wasn't thinking clearly. I think there were others, more subtle reasons for my illness as well.

It was my best friend's family that saved me from becoming seriously ill. They took me on a holiday in England for 4 weeks. It really helped to get away from the misery at home.

Good luck to your friend Erawyn. I hope she gets better soon.

markedel · 09-20-2002, 04:07 PM

It's called bulimea (sp?) and is up there with anorexia as a serious disorder.

Laurelyn · 09-20-2002, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by markedel
It's called bulimea (sp?) and is up there with anorexia as a serious disorder.

Spelled "bulimia," Markedel. Good try.

Khadrane · 09-20-2002, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Laurelyn
But who the heck is hungry at 11:30??

I am...

Anyway, I think that eating disorders are awful. I agree with galadriel88 about it being mostly the medias fault. I have a chart with the weight/height that you should be at however old you are, and all of my friends who think they are fat aren't. They are perfectly normal. I think it's sad how practically every girl thinks they're fat.

samwise of the shire · 09-20-2002, 07:31 PM

It's not just the media. It's the whole culture we live in. Peer pressure can play into it, as well as family pressure. A girl who is normal weight grows up around girls who can wear the latest because they can fit into them is naturally gonna feel like a loner, and feeling like a loner stinks BAD. Then there can be family pressure. My Grandma would pressure my mom into loosing weight when she was a kid (even though my Mom was normal for a big boned 14 year old which thankfully I am) and as such my mom gained weight...just to show SHE had some control. But those cases are rare.
I'm sorry for your friend Erawyn and I hope she gets better soon, just be a good friend, invite her to a slumber party or something just so you can talk. It might be an emotional thing that kind of ingrained itself into her brain and so she cant let go. Tell her you love her(as a friend)just as herself...not as the stick thin model she wants to be but as the friend she was in 4th grade. Just be a good friend and sympathize with her. Just be behind her and help her.
Cheers,
Sam

cassiopeia · 09-20-2002, 09:49 PM

Anorexia and bulemia are awful. I don't understand why people do it (I could never do it), but it is so sad. It's funny that as in most western countries people are getting fatter, but there is pressure to be thin. Is there a link there?

I think it is the media. We see skinny people on TV, movies and magazines. We feel we need to be like them. But they do airbrush flab away. Like Jamie Lee Curtis, her flabby bits were airbrushed away, but I think she looks great anyway.

I kind of had a eating disorder when I was 12. I was sick and didn't eat much for a few monthes. I got down to 30 kilos and everyone was worried. I think I am a healthy weight now. I am not skinny, but not really fat either. But I still stare at the mirror and wish I was thinner.

Erawyn · 09-21-2002, 07:24 PM

Quote:

But I still stare at the mirror and wish I was thinner

yah me too..

Thanks for the advice you guys, i don't get to see my friend that much because we go to different schools, but i am going to make an effort to spend more time with her! Sometimes it is really hard because she is so neurotic that i want to yell at her

and when she looks in the mirror and says shes fat when she weighs 75 pnds, and when she grabs her skin and says its fat, i want to scream!!

Duddun · 09-21-2002, 08:46 PM

It's often just people they talk to some people just like kidding about people being fat, it's not funny.

samwise of the shire · 09-21-2002, 09:01 PM

In most cases Anorexia and Bulimia are not just a physical thing but a mental thing as well. It may start out as a simple loose weight kinda thing but then it can grow into a mind thing. With Bulimics they need to feel control...but then they loose control and have to punish themselves for loosing control...so they throw up. With Anorexics the feeling of hunger and wishing to be thin become the obsession. It's really too bad.
But Erawyn I've heard of "hopeless"cases where girls were 60 somethin' or other pounds and they got better so dont give up. Just be patient.
Cheers,
Sam

BeardofPants · 09-22-2002, 06:04 AM

Ugh. I remember being stuck in that rut.

I got down to about 40 kgs doing that whole starve/puke thing. Luckily for me I had a really good friend who I was staying with at the time, and she talked some sense into me. Now I'm nice and curvy.

Sween · 09-22-2002, 06:05 AM

i can speak with some authority on this i have known a lot of women with eating disorders. Its with young girls esspecially i rember when i was younger all my gf ever went on about what how fat they were (they were not) and how ill leave them for someone prettier and slimmer (i left them in the end for someone that didnt moan about there weight 24/7).

If a few friends at the moment who i dont think eat enough. One girl called saskia who eats only 300 calories a day

i know the recomended daily allance is 1000 for a woman and im sure theres a good reason why its 1000 and not 300. My other friend katie openly admitted to me she has been making herself sick after allmost every meal (her meals a cup of soup) so i asked her why and she gave me the old dan i love dan dan will love me if im slim wish she would take the hint he dont like her that much. the thing about these 2 is they are very gergeous girls and so nice but they both have such a low opinion of themselves

.

they are mild to a girl i went to school with called harriet. she was so skinny it wasnt true and would often fall asleep in lessons and be late because she would be been sick in the toliets (the school never did anything to stop here she would often come in 40 minutes late). by the end of school her face had gone yellow and all sorts of things the other girls used to say it miging when they are doing pe and threy saw her in few clothes (it quite upset one of my friends). Anyway to some up i think they took her into care in the end and had to make her eat i dont know where she is now but i hope she is ok because she seemed a sweet girl and no one desrved to feel that way.

Nazgûl Queen · 09-22-2002, 08:05 AM

Another problem is the way all those body-fat things work. One of my friends, who is perfectly healthy, is decieved into believing she is overweight because she is strong and muscle is 3 times heavier than fat...

The strange thing is, most of the people i know eat a lot less than me... and yet I'm the thinnest of all of us (only 47kg) Damn these high metabolisms, it means that all the charts say I'm underweight *mutters*

Sween · 09-22-2002, 08:22 AM

i wish my motabolism was faster i have to do about 700 situps a day to keep in shape. if i wanted to get fat i could just like that

Hanza · 09-22-2002, 10:28 AM

Its unfair cos I mean I eat so much chocolate but put on no weight. It annoys me because my friends put on weight really easily and look normal. but I am really thin and occasionally get teased about it, but the thing is I eat enough

Artanis · 09-22-2002, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sween
One girl called saskia who eats only 300 calories a day i know the recomended daily allance is 1000 for a woman and im sure theres a good reason why its 1000 and not 300.

She has only 300 kcal a day? No one can live on a diet like that. Sween I think 1000 is not enough either, sorry to nitpick, but I don't want someone to read this and think they eat to much. When I was ill I counted calories all day and I knew excactly how much was needed. A woman with a normal level of activity and average height needs about 2000 kcal a day to keep her weight. If she is training or does some heavy work she needs 3000 kcal, if she is relaxing on her back all day she needs 1500 kcal. Add about 25% to these numbers for a man.

Hanza I also think it's unfair that someone can eat everything they want without gaining weight, while others, like myself, only need to look on a piece of cake to swell.

Sween · 09-22-2002, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Artanis
She has only 300 kcal a day? No one can live on a diet like that. Sween I think 1000 is not enough either, sorry to nitpick, but I don't want someone to read this and think they eat to much. When I was ill I counted calories all day and I knew excactly how much was needed. A woman with a normal level of activity and average height needs about 2000 kcal a day to keep her weight. If she is training or does some heavy work she needs 3000 kcal, if she is relaxing on her back all day she needs 1500 kcal. Add about 25% to these numbers for a man.

well ive tried to have words with her but she is loseing weight (she did use to be fat) and shes slim now but i think she needs to up her intake of foot. Its such a diffcult thing to do though because they just wont listen to you.

Its also a very sad truth that when she was fat no one looked at her twice but now she is slim she has all sorts of men after her. Another problem i have to keep an eye on shes easily led

.

09-19-2002, 09:58 PM	#1
Erawyn Elven Warrior Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: america junior Posts: 320	Eating Disorders What are everyones thought/opinions? Do you think that the media/society is mostly to blame (girls thinking they're too fat etc) I think that a lot of the time it is, but sometimes its about control too. On tv awhile ago i saw something about little girls (like 4-5) thinking they're fat, eating paper and running in their rooms at night, thats sad. One of my good friends has been anorexic since gr 4 (we're in gr 10 now) and i am so worried about her. She was in the hospital for all of the summer and third term of last year. She comes on MSN and she complains about how fat she is! I don't know what to say to her anymore. __________________ peace never hurt anyone "Be not so bigoted to any custom as to worship it at the expense of Truth." Johann Georg von Zimmermann

09-19-2002, 10:17 PM	#2
galadriel88 Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Far off in a dream Posts: 1,166	I think eating disorders are sad, terrible things that should never happen to anyone. I do think the media is to blame most of the time because compared to those stick-thin models most companies use and the stars who have their photos airbrushed, most of us are fat! But in truth, most of us are completely healthy and normal, and that's what many girls and women are failing to see. Now granted, some people really are overweight, but the dieting shouldn't go too far. You need to be healthy, not underweight. And that's very sad about your friend, Erawyn. I would just try to encourage her as much as possible. Tell her not to compare herself to anyone else, and you might could try finding some chart that shows what healthy weights are for certain heights and ages. Show her what's healthy for her, and tell her that's where she should be. Hope this helps! __________________ The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come."

09-20-2002, 05:43 AM	#3
Laurelyn Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Valinor, right next to Telperion . . . what did you expect, Michigan? Posts: 1,315	Oh, Erawyn, I hope your friend gets better. I really do . . . that would be awful. How would one tell if one was anorexic? I mean, how little does a person have to eat to halfway kill themselves? I would like to ensure I never go down that road . . . . my friends, as is, are always prodding me to eat lunch. But who the heck is hungry at 11:30?? __________________ The Third Age of Entmoot has begun. Angel of music, guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory! The country I eat and spend the day in is by no means the country I sleep and dream in. Define patriotism. Hold the boat, you spastic monkey! ~ Elenka

09-20-2002, 01:52 PM	#4
Nilvasaien Hobbit Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Either Erebor or Springfield Posts: 31	The big issue behind most eating disorders is control (or rather, feeling a lack thereof). Women often develop eating disorders because they feel they have no control over most parts of their lives. However, they can control how much they eat, how long it stays in their bodies, how much they exercise, etc. Eating disorders are much more complicated than they might appear. I'm glad your friend has you to care about her. Hopefully, she's still participating in some type of therapy. There is no quick fix; she won't be better if she gains a few pounds. She has to learn new, healthy ways to cope with the stressors in her life. She didn't develop this problem over night; it won't get better over night either. I'll keep a good thought for her. __________________ "Somebody was bound to say it one day...I just never thought it would be her."

09-20-2002, 01:54 PM	#5
Artanis Greatest Elven woman of Aman Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Having way too much fun with Fëanor's 7 Posts: 4,285	I had eating disorder in my teens, I wasn't anorectic but the opposite, I don't know what it's called in English. I ate huge amounts of food and threw it up afterwards. I lost about 10 kilos in that period. For me this was a way to gain control of at least part of my life, which else was rather bad at that time. I also had very little confidence in myself and wanted people to like me, so I thought it would help being thinner It's ridiculous, but at that time I wasn't thinking clearly. I think there were others, more subtle reasons for my illness as well. It was my best friend's family that saved me from becoming seriously ill. They took me on a holiday in England for 4 weeks. It really helped to get away from the misery at home. Good luck to your friend Erawyn. I hope she gets better soon. __________________ --Life is hard, and then we die.

09-20-2002, 04:07 PM	#6
markedel 'Sober' Mullet Frosh Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Queen's Posts: 1,245	It's called bulimea (sp?) and is up there with anorexia as a serious disorder. __________________ "Earnur was a man like his father in valour, but not in wisdom"

09-20-2002, 07:31 PM	#9
samwise of the shire Radically Tolkienited Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: If home is where the heart is, and my heart is in heaven...that should answer your question. <+>< Posts: 967	It's not just the media. It's the whole culture we live in. Peer pressure can play into it, as well as family pressure. A girl who is normal weight grows up around girls who can wear the latest because they can fit into them is naturally gonna feel like a loner, and feeling like a loner stinks BAD. Then there can be family pressure. My Grandma would pressure my mom into loosing weight when she was a kid (even though my Mom was normal for a big boned 14 year old which thankfully I am) and as such my mom gained weight...just to show SHE had some control. But those cases are rare. I'm sorry for your friend Erawyn and I hope she gets better soon, just be a good friend, invite her to a slumber party or something just so you can talk. It might be an emotional thing that kind of ingrained itself into her brain and so she cant let go. Tell her you love her(as a friend)just as herself...not as the stick thin model she wants to be but as the friend she was in 4th grade. Just be a good friend and sympathize with her. Just be behind her and help her. Cheers, Sam __________________ Jesus is my all in all <><+<><+<><+<><+<><+<><+ People who are so concerned with escapism do have a name...we call them jailers. ~J.R.R Tolkien Radically Saved, Totally Tolkienited GOD... BLESS... AMERICA...

09-20-2002, 09:49 PM	#10
cassiopeia Viggoholic Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 1,749	Anorexia and bulemia are awful. I don't understand why people do it (I could never do it), but it is so sad. It's funny that as in most western countries people are getting fatter, but there is pressure to be thin. Is there a link there? I think it is the media. We see skinny people on TV, movies and magazines. We feel we need to be like them. But they do airbrush flab away. Like Jamie Lee Curtis, her flabby bits were airbrushed away, but I think she looks great anyway. I kind of had a eating disorder when I was 12. I was sick and didn't eat much for a few monthes. I got down to 30 kilos and everyone was worried. I think I am a healthy weight now. I am not skinny, but not really fat either. But I still stare at the mirror and wish I was thinner. __________________ Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

09-21-2002, 08:46 PM	#12
Duddun I Antha Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: You expect ME to know? Posts: 784	It's often just people they talk to some people just like kidding about people being fat, it's not funny. __________________ If you say my name I go "What?" If you say my name twice I go and look it up in the dictionary. **************************** I'm Not Evil! ************************** If the critics say it's good, is it really That good? ************************** It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's a balloon! **************************** Duddun, Son of Bubbun

09-21-2002, 09:01 PM	#13
samwise of the shire Radically Tolkienited Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: If home is where the heart is, and my heart is in heaven...that should answer your question. <+>< Posts: 967	In most cases Anorexia and Bulimia are not just a physical thing but a mental thing as well. It may start out as a simple loose weight kinda thing but then it can grow into a mind thing. With Bulimics they need to feel control...but then they loose control and have to punish themselves for loosing control...so they throw up. With Anorexics the feeling of hunger and wishing to be thin become the obsession. It's really too bad. But Erawyn I've heard of "hopeless"cases where girls were 60 somethin' or other pounds and they got better so dont give up. Just be patient. Cheers, Sam __________________ Jesus is my all in all <><+<><+<><+<><+<><+<><+ People who are so concerned with escapism do have a name...we call them jailers. ~J.R.R Tolkien Radically Saved, Totally Tolkienited GOD... BLESS... AMERICA...

09-22-2002, 06:04 AM	#14
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	Ugh. I remember being stuck in that rut. I got down to about 40 kgs doing that whole starve/puke thing. Luckily for me I had a really good friend who I was staying with at the time, and she talked some sense into me. Now I'm nice and curvy. __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

09-22-2002, 06:05 AM	#15
Sween im quite stupid Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cockermouth Posts: 2,058	i can speak with some authority on this i have known a lot of women with eating disorders. Its with young girls esspecially i rember when i was younger all my gf ever went on about what how fat they were (they were not) and how ill leave them for someone prettier and slimmer (i left them in the end for someone that didnt moan about there weight 24/7). If a few friends at the moment who i dont think eat enough. One girl called saskia who eats only 300 calories a day i know the recomended daily allance is 1000 for a woman and im sure theres a good reason why its 1000 and not 300. My other friend katie openly admitted to me she has been making herself sick after allmost every meal (her meals a cup of soup) so i asked her why and she gave me the old dan i love dan dan will love me if im slim wish she would take the hint he dont like her that much. the thing about these 2 is they are very gergeous girls and so nice but they both have such a low opinion of themselves . they are mild to a girl i went to school with called harriet. she was so skinny it wasnt true and would often fall asleep in lessons and be late because she would be been sick in the toliets (the school never did anything to stop here she would often come in 40 minutes late). by the end of school her face had gone yellow and all sorts of things the other girls used to say it miging when they are doing pe and threy saw her in few clothes (it quite upset one of my friends). Anyway to some up i think they took her into care in the end and had to make her eat i dont know where she is now but i hope she is ok because she seemed a sweet girl and no one desrved to feel that way. __________________ Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot

09-22-2002, 08:05 AM	#16
Nazgûl Queen Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Minas Morgul Posts: 400	Another problem is the way all those body-fat things work. One of my friends, who is perfectly healthy, is decieved into believing she is overweight because she is strong and muscle is 3 times heavier than fat... The strange thing is, most of the people i know eat a lot less than me... and yet I'm the thinnest of all of us (only 47kg) Damn these high metabolisms, it means that all the charts say I'm underweight mutters __________________ Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor Mistress of the Night The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death. Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal...

09-22-2002, 08:22 AM	#17
Sween im quite stupid Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cockermouth Posts: 2,058	i wish my motabolism was faster i have to do about 700 situps a day to keep in shape. if i wanted to get fat i could just like that __________________ Yeah god hes ok but i would rather be judged by a sheep than that idiot

09-22-2002, 10:28 AM	#18
Hanza Woolly Jumper Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby Posts: 1,200	Its unfair cos I mean I eat so much chocolate but put on no weight. It annoys me because my friends put on weight really easily and look normal. but I am really thin and occasionally get teased about it, but the thing is I eat enough

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