What's your biggest regret

afro-elf · 05-31-2002, 02:28 PM

For me it was letting THE girl get away

Andúril · 05-31-2002, 02:41 PM

New Years 2001.

And no, BoP, I'm not telling.

Lady Midnight · 05-31-2002, 03:36 PM

Letting £75,000 be stolen from me.

Whilst I'm here I'd like to point out that really we should regret nothing since as Nietzsche said:

"That which does not kill us shall make us stronger."

And George Fox said:

"The point of suffering is to be able to speak to every condition."

Hence there are lessons to be learnt from everything and even in the worst possible situation there can still exist something which you can turn to your advantage if you just take the trouble to look.

Therefore regret nothing. Regret only brings pain.

Radagast · 05-31-2002, 03:43 PM

Out of idle curiosity how did you come to lose such a large amount of money?

Blackheart · 05-31-2002, 03:49 PM

I regret eating that last slice of pizza.

ooooog

Lady Midnight · 05-31-2002, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Radagast
Wise words indeed Lady Midnight...

I do not have any regrets but then again I am only thirteen, I generally have a trouble free, happy life.

Out of idle curiosity how did you come to lose such a large amount of money, m'lady?

Thankyou.

I sincerely hope your life stays that way.

Hmmmm well there's the long answer and there's the short answer. The short answer would be that my baby's "father" stole most of it when I was in hospital for sometime at the end of my pregnancy, near dead from complications that had arisen. The long answer involves the guy I was with before him who also stole money from me.

Suffice to say I haven't made very good choices when it comes to men.

Andúril · 05-31-2002, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Lady Midnight:
"That which does not kill us shall make us stronger."

So should one not regret a drug overdose which renders one mentally handicapped?

[drool]"Momma! I stwonga!"[/drool]

Quote:

Continues:
Hence there are lessons to be learnt from everything and even in the worst possible situation there can still exist something which you can turn to your advantage if you just take the trouble to look.

Now, for instance, say that the overdose led to a coma, and the person died. What advantage did that person gain?

You aren't by any chance one of those women that just recently intentionally manufactured a deaf baby, are you? {edit: Nevermind}

Lizra · 05-31-2002, 04:20 PM

I see where you're going Anduril, I think you're right too. Sorry LM, some things are just plain bad and there isn't any "Silver lining". I hate it when people say that, I know they mean well, but "it builds character" isn't much when you've created a fountain of sorrow for yourself or someone else. You need to be careful.

Lady Midnight · 05-31-2002, 04:39 PM

Ok well let me make it clear to you both. You are not talking to someone who has never sufffered. I've been there okay. In my life I have been subjected to the most disgusting forms of mental and physical cruelty a so-called human being could ever inflict on another. Stuff which I could not even begin to describe to you. Stuff which should really have killed me.

Yet I survived.

So why am I still alive? Why am I still here? Why am I not dead or some wreck in a mental hospital? The Divine knows I've been through enough.

Because I always kept my dignity and tried to find something to gain no matter what was done to me.

The things I've been through it was well nigh impossible to find anything positive in any of them. But I did it.

I only wanted to provide some comfort to anyone out there who might serious regrets about their life.

StrawberryIcecream · 05-31-2002, 05:07 PM

I hope you dont mind me asking LM, but do you still have your baby boy/ girl? I think its awful what those men did to you. but then again if you had a baby thats silver lining!

Afroe: If she's THE girl, why are you typing about her. Go get her back!

I dont have any major regrets. I think people center too much on what could have been instead of what is.

Lady Midnight · 05-31-2002, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by StrawberryIcecream
I hope you dont mind me asking LM, but do you still have your baby boy/ girl? I think its awful what those men did to you. but then again if you had a baby thats silver lining!

Yes I still have a beautiful little girl. Her name is Kayleigh Rhiannon and she'll be 3 and a half soon. She very nearly didn't make it into the world tho'.

And that's exactly the kind of sliver lining I'm talking about.

AS for Kayleigh's "father" and the other guy. LOL thanks for asking but I've been through worse.

afro-elf · 05-31-2002, 07:18 PM

A lot of suffering is pointless plain and simple. Finding the silver lining is a cognitive defense thought not directly the cause of the survival.

to nietzcshe I give you dennis miller:
That which does not kill us tends to really mess you up

Sorry Strawberry but this is not a movie.

emplynx · 05-31-2002, 07:25 PM

Getting addicted to that stuff.

Lady Midnight · 05-31-2002, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by afro-elf
A lot of suffering is pointless plain and simple. Finding the silver lining is a cognitive defense thought not directly the cause of the survival.

to nietzcshe I give you dennis miller:
That which does not kill us tends to really mess you up

Yeah well it certainly helped me through some rough times. And I know I'm a better person for it.

Maybe it wouldn't work for everyone but I am speaking from personal experience here and the facts speak for themselves, I'm here, posting this. I'd say it's a pretty safe bet to say that it does work for some.

All I'm trying to say here is that regret can be just as pointless. Does regret alter the past? Does it change anything? No it doesn't.

So what good does beating oneself up over something do anyone?

afro-elf · 05-31-2002, 07:48 PM

Just because you are here posting is not necessarily due to your out look.

There are a lot of people who have been ravaged by life (most of the 3rd world) war, sickness, disease, rape, murder, theft, lying, cheating, adultery etc....

Some of these people are bitter, angry, cold etc. They survive and they don't go around:

"well i've learned to appreciate life so much more now after watching my daughter get raped and murdered. I feel so much stronger as a person now"

Emotional scars are not a conscious choice to heal. Some people tend to optimist no matter what happens to them or will always be dark and brooding no matter what.

Starr Polish · 05-31-2002, 08:06 PM

I'd say at 16 I'm far too young to have any major regrets. Many are superficial.

I understand both points of "That which does not kill you makes you stronger" and "That which does not kill you can really mess you up".

Breaking an ankle may not necessarily kill you, but it most definately does not make you stronger. If the fracture was serious, many people lose mobility in their joint. Losing someone you loved dearly may make you stronger, or not, depending on your mental and physical (yes, physical) health, and your outlook on life.

Lady Midnight · 05-31-2002, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by afro-elf
Just because you are here posting is not necessarily do to your out look.

There are a lot of people who have been ravaged by life (most of the 3rd world) war, sickness, disease, rape, murder, theft, lying, cheating, adultery etc....

Some of these people are bitter, angry, cold etc. They survive and they don't go around:

"well i've learned to appreciate life so much more now after watching my daughter get raped and murdered. I feel so much stronger as a person now"

Emotional scars are not a conscious choice to heal. Some people tend to optimist no matter what happens to them or will always be dark and brooding no matter what.

I have been through much of what you mention and I don't go around saying I appreciate life more because of it etc etc either.

What I am saying is that OTOH niether will I delibrately choose to let the things done to me get me down.

Why? Because that's letting them win.

I simply refuse to let the people who have abused me in the various ways that they have done have any more power over me and my life than they've already had.

Because y'see that's why they did it. They needed to control someone, to have power over someone, in this case me, in order to make up for their own inadequacies.

Maybe I should let it destroy me, maybe I should go round feeling sorry for myself, let it affect the whole of my life, but I just choose not to.

And I'm more emotionally scarred than many would be. But I still make a choice to get on with my life.

I have a 3 yr old child. I've tried regret and it didn't help matters at all. If I spend my life worrying about the past and what I could've done to prevent things I'll be ill. Then I won't be able to be a mother to my child.

So I'm sorry but it is possible to choose to carry on. I choose to.

I'm not saying that you can choose to heal emotional scars, the scars will always be there no matter what. But the choice is in whether, when you look at yourself, you want to see nothing but emotional scars or do you want to see emotional strength?

afro-elf · 05-31-2002, 08:36 PM

I see a difference in our cases.

People maybe have abused you mentally and physically in that case due to my make up to spite them I see your point HOWEVER

in a situation i posted above about the rape and murder of your child making you stronger that to ME is oprah winfey postive thinking gone WAY to far.

Quote:

But I still make a choice to get on with my life.

Quote:

So I'm sorry but it is possible to choose to carry on. I choose to

carrying on is not necessarily being stronger. you can carry on in a worse state than you were before

it depends of the person and the circumstance.
But there is a HUGE difference between saying that something makes me stronger. I just saying I can deal with it. the two are not the same.

afro-elf · 05-31-2002, 08:41 PM

also experience can teach you to avoid some things and to follow others

some mistakenly call this strength ( depending on the situation)

but it just knowing something.

If I do A) and get hurt. And the next time the situation arises and I don't do A) i'm not stronger per se. I'm avoiding the situation.

galadriel88 · 05-31-2002, 11:06 PM

*sigh* Guys, can we just have ourselves a nice, calm thread here? Please? AE and LM, I can see you disagree on some things HOWEVER all we want to do here is talk about regrets we have. Everyone makes mistakes - everyone. And we learn from them. That's all we're doing. So could you please try not to turn this into a flame war here? Thank you.

As for me, I don't have anything too major, but I have made plenty of mistakes in my short lifetime of 13 years. I guess my biggest regret is the way I treated my parents before I became a christian. I lied to them half the time, disrespected their authority and was just plain rude to them. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still working on it.

05-31-2002, 02:28 PM	#1
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	What's your biggest regret For me it was letting THE girl get away __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

05-31-2002, 03:36 PM	#3
Lady Midnight Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: only after 11pm and in an altered state of conciousness Posts: 176	Letting £75,000 be stolen from me. Whilst I'm here I'd like to point out that really we should regret nothing since as Nietzsche said: "That which does not kill us shall make us stronger." And George Fox said: "The point of suffering is to be able to speak to every condition." Hence there are lessons to be learnt from everything and even in the worst possible situation there can still exist something which you can turn to your advantage if you just take the trouble to look. Therefore regret nothing. Regret only brings pain. __________________ Owner of Shining Realms BBS, http://pub27.ezboard.com/bshiningrealms62508 Mod of Mirkwood forum at: http://pub28.ezboard.com/bmiddleearth99434 Self Proclaimed Lady Of General Messages, Minx of the 'Moot and semi-retired Official Flirt Of The Slipstream, Discipula Lenta and Warrior Priestess of the Wayists. Queen of Dramatic Tension in many RPs. In the process of setting up a new SF/Fantasy based fanzine. I want Fanfic, short stories, poetry, filks, reviews, artwork, anything you've got really but most of all IDEAS!!!!. You write it I'll take a look at it. At the moment I can't pay for submissions but all contributors will recieve a complimentary copy and I am confident that I will be able to pay one day. Please PM me if you have anything. Never but never buy a computer from TIME. If you want to know why please ask. Andromeda fans check out: http://www.slipstreambbs.com/

05-31-2002, 03:43 PM	#4
Radagast Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Merry old England Posts: 413	Out of idle curiosity how did you come to lose such a large amount of money? __________________ Take up the White Man's burden-- The savage wars of peace-- Fill full the mouth of Famine, And bid the sickness cease; And when your goal is nearest (The end for others sought) Watch sloth and heathen folly Bring all your hope to nought. Last edited by Radagast : 08-23-2004 at 12:22 PM.

05-31-2002, 03:49 PM	#5
Blackheart Elf Lord Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Darkness Posts: 1,211	I regret eating that last slice of pizza. ooooog __________________ I have harnessed the shadows that stride from world to world to sow death and madness... Queer haow a cravin' gits a holt on ye -- As ye love the Almighty, young man, don't tell nobody, but I swar ter Gawd thet picter begun ta make me hungry fer victuals I couldn't raise nor buy -- here, set still, what's ailin' ye? ...

05-31-2002, 04:20 PM	#8
Lizra Domesticated Swing Babe Join Date: May 2002 Location: Reality Posts: 5,340	I see where you're going Anduril, I think you're right too. Sorry LM, some things are just plain bad and there isn't any "Silver lining". I hate it when people say that, I know they mean well, but "it builds character" isn't much when you've created a fountain of sorrow for yourself or someone else. You need to be careful. __________________ Happy Atheist Go Democrats!

05-31-2002, 02:41 PM	#2
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	New Years 2001. And no, BoP, I'm not telling.

05-31-2002, 04:39 PM	#9
Lady Midnight Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: only after 11pm and in an altered state of conciousness Posts: 176	Ok well let me make it clear to you both. You are not talking to someone who has never sufffered. I've been there okay. In my life I have been subjected to the most disgusting forms of mental and physical cruelty a so-called human being could ever inflict on another. Stuff which I could not even begin to describe to you. Stuff which should really have killed me. Yet I survived. So why am I still alive? Why am I still here? Why am I not dead or some wreck in a mental hospital? The Divine knows I've been through enough. Because I always kept my dignity and tried to find something to gain no matter what was done to me. The things I've been through it was well nigh impossible to find anything positive in any of them. But I did it. I only wanted to provide some comfort to anyone out there who might serious regrets about their life. __________________ Owner of Shining Realms BBS, http://pub27.ezboard.com/bshiningrealms62508 Mod of Mirkwood forum at: http://pub28.ezboard.com/bmiddleearth99434 Self Proclaimed Lady Of General Messages, Minx of the 'Moot and semi-retired Official Flirt Of The Slipstream, Discipula Lenta and Warrior Priestess of the Wayists. Queen of Dramatic Tension in many RPs. In the process of setting up a new SF/Fantasy based fanzine. I want Fanfic, short stories, poetry, filks, reviews, artwork, anything you've got really but most of all IDEAS!!!!. You write it I'll take a look at it. At the moment I can't pay for submissions but all contributors will recieve a complimentary copy and I am confident that I will be able to pay one day. Please PM me if you have anything. Never but never buy a computer from TIME. If you want to know why please ask. Andromeda fans check out: http://www.slipstreambbs.com/

05-31-2002, 05:07 PM	#10
StrawberryIcecream Elf Lord Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: In my jeans Posts: 915	I hope you dont mind me asking LM, but do you still have your baby boy/ girl? I think its awful what those men did to you. but then again if you had a baby thats silver lining! Afroe: If she's THE girl, why are you typing about her. Go get her back! I dont have any major regrets. I think people center too much on what could have been instead of what is. __________________ www.foolofatook.com for all you pippin's out there. Last edited by StrawberryIcecream : 05-31-2002 at 05:09 PM.

05-31-2002, 07:18 PM	#12
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	A lot of suffering is pointless plain and simple. Finding the silver lining is a cognitive defense thought not directly the cause of the survival. to nietzcshe I give you dennis miller: That which does not kill us tends to really mess you up Sorry Strawberry but this is not a movie. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

05-31-2002, 07:25 PM	#13
emplynx Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,214	Getting addicted to that stuff.

05-31-2002, 07:48 PM	#15
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Just because you are here posting is not necessarily due to your out look. There are a lot of people who have been ravaged by life (most of the 3rd world) war, sickness, disease, rape, murder, theft, lying, cheating, adultery etc.... Some of these people are bitter, angry, cold etc. They survive and they don't go around: "well i've learned to appreciate life so much more now after watching my daughter get raped and murdered. I feel so much stronger as a person now" Emotional scars are not a conscious choice to heal. Some people tend to optimist no matter what happens to them or will always be dark and brooding no matter what. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 05-31-2002 at 08:19 PM.

05-31-2002, 08:06 PM	#16
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	I'd say at 16 I'm far too young to have any major regrets. Many are superficial. I understand both points of "That which does not kill you makes you stronger" and "That which does not kill you can really mess you up". Breaking an ankle may not necessarily kill you, but it most definately does not make you stronger. If the fracture was serious, many people lose mobility in their joint. Losing someone you loved dearly may make you stronger, or not, depending on your mental and physical (yes, physical) health, and your outlook on life. __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

05-31-2002, 08:41 PM	#19
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	also experience can teach you to avoid some things and to follow others some mistakenly call this strength ( depending on the situation) but it just knowing something. If I do A) and get hurt. And the next time the situation arises and I don't do A) i'm not stronger per se. I'm avoiding the situation. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

05-31-2002, 11:06 PM	#20
galadriel88 Halfwitted Queen of Lothlorien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Far off in a dream Posts: 1,166	sigh Guys, can we just have ourselves a nice, calm thread here? Please? AE and LM, I can see you disagree on some things HOWEVER all we want to do here is talk about regrets we have. Everyone makes mistakes - everyone. And we learn from them. That's all we're doing. So could you please try not to turn this into a flame war here? Thank you. As for me, I don't have anything too major, but I have made plenty of mistakes in my short lifetime of 13 years. I guess my biggest regret is the way I treated my parents before I became a christian. I lied to them half the time, disrespected their authority and was just plain rude to them. I'm not as bad as I was, but I'm still working on it. __________________ The beuatiful mind/The beautiful heart/Doesn't deserve the pain/How can I stop the rain? -How Can I Stop the Rain? by Kessid, my new favorite band +Every good thing that comes into my life is only a reflection of the greatest gift of all; the offering of yourself, dear Son of God+ Always remember, you're uniqe, just like everybody else! "The one constant through all the years has been the Trombone. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again, but the Trombone has marked the time. This field, this section, this band is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. Oh, people will come . . . people will most definitely come."

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Queen of England: Biggest Welfare Mother in History	Ruinel	General Messages	2	05-04-2004 01:58 PM
Biggest surprize link to LOTR?	Cirdan	The Silmarillion	19	03-18-2002 03:36 PM
We regret to inform you that Napster is dead	thrawn96	General Messages	29	02-16-2001 05:52 AM
Who's the Biggest Liar?	Gwaihir	General Messages	20	09-18-2000 04:27 PM
We regret to inform you that IronParrot is dead.	IronParrot	General Messages	27	08-01-2000 01:31 AM