Posting personal messages

[Sister Golden Hair]

I realize that on the main page just under where it says General Messages it states the you can talk about anything you wish in this forum. However, I think that applies to general topics such as, interests, news, hobbies, etc. I don't want anyone to get the idea that they are being critised, but it probably is not a good idea to post personal problems, feelings or information. This is an active board, and many of its participants are young people under the age of 18. Sharing this type of information on the internet is risky in my opinion.

I want to make it clear that this is my own personal view and does not in anyway reflect the views of the administration of Entmoot.

[Tessar]

Perhaps you of the all powerful administration could make a new forum where people can vent or whatever?

then people who don't WANT to read it don't have to.


just a thought.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Tessar
Perhaps you of the all powerful administration could make a new forum where people can vent or whatever?

then people who don't WANT to read it don't have to.


just a thought.

Well, that is not the concern here. The problem is that when you post personal information and facts about yourself, you open yourself to internet preditors. This is the biggest problem, especially if you are underage. There are forums out there that even prohibit you from revealing your age if you are under 18. Plus, I think that when folks, and that is not limited to kids, post these kind of topics about personal problems it limits certian other posters from replying because it isn't a general topic that most can relate to. For example, when the attack on the World Trade Center occurred, that was an event that pretty much effected everyone, so it classifies as a general topic that everyone can participate in. This is the difference. I also think that the administration has to think of what their culpibility might be if anything unfortunate were to occurr as a result of someone posting personal information on their forum. It is a touchy situation.

Perhaps if someone has a personal problem that they wish to discuss, and they have made friends on the forum, email, or a private message would be another alternative.

[Tessar]

Well I can see what you mean but if you really feel that way about it then you should ban all people under 18! (uhhhhhhhhh... please don't)

Think about it, a carless word in ANY post could give out just as much info as a personal one.

But the internet preditors can't get you unless you say something like "well my name is mark blake and my phone number is bla bla bla I live at 128 ninth street" know what I mean sis

[Elfmaster XK]

I see what SGH is saying, but sometimes it's good to get other peoples opinions on things.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Elfmaster XK
I see what SGH is saying, but sometimes it's good to get other peoples opinions on things.

Absolutely, and sometimes it is necessary to have others opinions. That is why I suggested that the private message function or email would be a bit more appropriate for such things. That way, the person with the personal problem gets the advice or support they are looking for in a safer way, and the general message forum stays freed up for general discussion.

[Tessar]

Originally posted by Sister Golden Hair
the person with the personal problem gets the advice or support they are looking for in a safer way, and the general message forum stays freed up for general discussion.

thats what I was trying to say about the "bad day" forum thingy!

WHY DO YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME?! can you hear me now? can you hear me now?....

[Darth Tater]

Yeah, but how are we gonna keep these internet baddies out of your magical forum Tessar? Just listen to SGH, she's smart.

[Arian]

Hey, no offense to Golden but I think depends on what you talk about. Just my option.

[jerseydevil]

Well there are things that people that are under 18 should do to keep themselves safe. NEVER give out your last name or town. NEVER give out your school or any names of clubs you might be in. With clubs - especially if they have information that can be looked up with schedules of activities. Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are general enough to where it shouldn't matter. Also - NEVER give out your phone number. A lot of people don't realize that you can find out a person's address using just a telephone number on the net.

With a little information - you can find out a lot about someone. It's just better to be careful.

This stuff goes for people that are older than 18 too. I never give out my telephone number - unless I know to whom I'm giving it out to.

I think talking about personal problems and seeing if anyone else has encountered something similar is fine. Just don't give personal information that would enable anyone to find you.

The most important thing is to be smart about what you give out. Everyone can see I live in Plainsboro NJ - but very few on entmoot know my last name. You can find my first name - because Tater sometimes posts it, but that's not going to do much for anyone.

Use comomn sense when you post or talk to people on the net. And remember - just because you didn't post information on entmoot that enables someone to find you - you may have left a trail that someone can follow.

[HOBBIT]

Gee, thanks for the lesson on common sense JD :P

Too bad boring Ben never made up a name. Everyone knows my first and last name, and a lot my address Oh well. Bmilder. Ugh. Ben didn't even come up with that name. In the early 90's when we got our computers, we all registered with initials and then our last name. I was of course tmilder, there was bmilder, rmilder,etc. Everyone else made usernames...I came up with cool creative names. Ben, being the boring person he is (), kept bmilder.

My 'official' email account has and always has been tmilder@(not telling you).net. But of course I use my nice Tolkientrail.com email addy all the time. I check that several times a day and use it to send and recieve. I check my tmilder account like 1 or twice a week and never use it.

But guys, you don't have to be that paranoid. I mean you can kind of tell us your real first name and state. Theres no way we can track you. You know how many ppl in that state, town have the same first name?? A lot. I don't think a stalker would care that much Also, this board is made up mostly (or at least a lot) of under 18 year olds. You are not listed in the phone book or any real directory. Knowing your first name helps in conversations and discussions...etc.

A lot of people on aim have admitted to me that they have not told anyone on entmoot their real first name. That, for the reasons above, is rediculous. But don't give out your last name. Or if you have a common last name like Patel, Smith, whatever, you actually CAN give out your last name. If you only give out your real state, you know how many Patels or other common last names there are in that state??? In my town alone there must be like 40+ listing for Patel Do you get what I am saying?

But I agree that personal information should not be given out here....Your name and where you live (not address, duh) I do not consider to be that personal..

[HOBBIT]

and Jd, I think its pretty darn OBVIOUS what your last name is. Anyone can see by looking in your profile that your email contains your last name and you screen name listed. Plus, its all over your website.

Thats another thing, your last names are easily accesible.
You want people to give you credit for your website, at the bottom it has your name or whatever. My name must be listed for so many things already. On message boards, school stuff, contests, awards, bands, etc. If you put my name into any search engine you are bound to find something.

[TinuvielChild]

and if you live in a city like NY, LA, or Boston, it's probably ok to give out your city, because there's definitely more than one person living in that city that has that first name!

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by HOBBIT
Gee, thanks for the lesson on common sense JD :P

Well hobbit - I'm sorry. But you'd be surprised what some people have told me they've done. One person I know got an e-mail saying they had to confirm their account otherwise it was going ot be closed. they went to the link and it asked for their user name and password. Which they gave. Luckily they were talking to me - and I told them to change their password right away. Of course it didn't ask for personal information. But still - you'd be surprised.

My cousin works as an undercover cop looking for net predators. I'm also a computer person and have done mentoring for teenagers - so I know that a lot of people do not follow the common sense that you obviously seem to have.

[jerseydevil]

Originally posted by HOBBIT
and Jd, I think its pretty darn OBVIOUS what your last name is. Anyone can see by looking in your profile that your email contains your last name and you screen name listed. Plus, its all over your website.

True - I realized it after I I had posted that. I just didn't feel like changing it. I also think that I still have my AIM SN listed as my old SN. But it does prove the point about leaving a trail behind. Of course now that you pointed that out - I'll probably have to change it. You never know what kind of crazies are out there on the net.

Common sense plays the same role on the net as it does with walking down a dark alley in a strange city.

[HOBBIT]

EXACTLY TinuvielChild. Come on ppl, there is no need to lie about the info that makes NO DIFFERENCE. Its great to actually know someones name. And ANYWHERE, there are ppl with the first name. It would be a pretty safe bet to give out your last name if you lived in a large city - because chances are that there a lot of other families with that same name - sometimes hundreds of others. I mean in my school alone there are like 15 or so Andrews, Kevins, Jasons, etc, etc. same with girls.
(rambles off topic)
I have such a unique name that you probably could track me down by it. There aren't too many Tristans. I've met only like 5 or 6 other Tristans in my life. The way I spell it is the 'right' way. A tone of people write down Tristin or Tristen. Its really annoying.... Because its pronounced Tris-ten or you could say tris-tin. But there is no accent on tin or ten......when some teachers see how I spell it, they go tris-TAN. They stress the TAN part and thats really annoying too. Because I'm not Tris-TAN.
(continues to ramble continuously)
I've seen a bunch of Tristans spelt Tristin or Tristen. Their parents don't know how to spell I guess. another thing concerning my name that really ticks me off is when some people come up to me and say "isn't that a girls name?" NO!! its not. tristan has always been a boys name. Tristan is becoming a way popular name now. some famous celebs have named their kids Tristan. Its on the top something fav names for boys list. I think top 50.

But I do get tons of compliments on how cool my name is.

Another thing, so many people say Mil-der. Of thats always confused me. Why??? Milder is a word for crying out loud! Its on all the time on the radio and tv. "Today it is going to be Milder.."
(Mile-Dur). Also, I guess some ppl assume that I am an idiot who mispelled my name and they copy it down as "Midler" ugh.

(ends rambling) hope you read my rambling

if you haven't read it, that shows you how much ppl want to read personal info, huh? Too much, right? hehe

[Darth Tater]

Hey, I used to think it was as in MILDEW too! And next time you edit me Tristan you'll pay the price

[Laurelyn]

SGH, I get your point . . . but then, of course, there's also a part of it that doesn't work to me.
Posting a problem will not give stalkers anything to go on, unless there is information in your problem about your location other than what's under your username.
I think a better title would be, "posting personal information" because that's really what this thread is about.
Also, if I can't come to my friends for help when I need it . . . where the heck am I gonna get help from? Someone who doesn't know me? That just doesn't work in my head. And I wouldn't know who to PM at first- whaddaya want, for me to PM the whole Moot, in which case we might be right back at the drawing board with the stalker thing?
DOn't mind me, my day was wierd, therefore I am ranting. Sorry.

[Sister Golden Hair]

Originally posted by Laurelyn
SGH, I get your point . . . but then, of course, there's also a part of it that doesn't work to me.
Posting a problem will not give stalkers anything to go on, unless there is information in your problem about your location other than what's under your username.
I think a better title would be, "posting personal information" because that's really what this thread is about.

That's not all this thread is about, but a part. This is also about personal problems being posted in general messages. I think perhaps some other posters have resolved the safety issue about posting personal information. General messages is for general discussion of the general population of this board.

Also, if I can't come to my friends for help when I need it . . . where the heck am I gonna get help from? Someone who doesn't know me? That just doesn't work in my head. And I wouldn't know who to PM at first- whaddaya want, for me to PM the whole Moot, in which case we might be right back at the drawing board with the stalker thing?

Are you saying that the people on the forum know you in real life? And, why wouldn't you know who to PM at first? If you have a particuliar circle of friends at the forum, then I should think PMs would be pretty easy.

My point is that if you have a personal problem that you can only discuss with someone on the forum, then by all means do that in a PM, or email. If you are going to post a personal problem in GM, then it is no longer a personal problem. So what's the difference between that and PMing the whole Moot?

[HOBBIT]

Yeah it is General Messages, not Personal. Could you keep the personal problems to a minimum?

Don't get me wrong, I and most of the administration do care about your problems. Not all of the board does though. Of course now all the members will pipe in and say that they care and like discussing that sort of thing. But a lot of the members probably (no offense) don't really care about your problems. There really is no nice way of saying that - sorry.

But there is the argument that people who don't care just won't enter the topic....well thats not so easy people want to see whats up.

I suppose once in a while a personal topic concerning a problem *might* be ok. But they are really inappropriate. This forum is named General, not specific or personal, for a reason.

In the past week there have been like 3 or more personal problems topics. When people see that people are doing this, they post their problems. Everyone has problems or concerns. Posting whatever pops into your head or what you are thinking about that moment is not always best. Also - for whatever reasons, you don't want people to think less of you or whatever.

Again - we DO CARE. Just that entmoot as a whole is not a support group. Sure - we will talk to you and help you with your problems - just not out in the public. The members of the administration all have aim and/or icq. We are on all the time. Or pm us. Or/and Pm the users that care about your problem and who will work with you to try to fix it. As SGH has said, if you have a small group of friends here, pm them as they would be most likely to respond to a topic of yours anyway.

Thanks. Just my thoughts on the subject.