Chasm of Darkness

Lalaith_Elf · 04-09-2004, 11:26 AM

Every night I lie awake,
And everyday I see,
Only darkness,
Darkness that threatens me,

Frozen tears stream down my face,
At least they seem to do,
For when I go to look at them,
I can’t see black for blue,

Loneliness seeps through my heart,
And sets my soul on fire,
Leaving me black and burnt,
With an aching desire,

I cut myself,
With a handy knife
And let the blood stream free
Hoping that it will run from me,
And eventually set me free.

Beor · 04-12-2004, 01:10 PM

The blood streams warmly
down my severed wrist
and I think back
to all the love I've missed

I can feel the end beginning
the end to all the pain
I greet it gladly
with nothing else to gain

Then the end is all too near
and I begin to quail
all the hate and damaged pride
all the anger fails

I need the blood to stop
I need to terror to end
and every stream of blood
looks like me. Little me,

And it is laughing at me
and the pain is no more
and the end is seen
and I see no more

My sight is gone
all feeling ceased
my mind is reeling
and it is too late
and I am done
and I want to scream
but it is too late
too late for any love
too late for hope
as the darkness, the final darkness
descends

Nerdanel · 04-12-2004, 04:06 PM

Wow.

Now you finish each others poems?

No, really. Very emotional poems. I love them. They touched me deeply.
I have no words.

Lalaith_Elf · 04-12-2004, 04:15 PM

Thanks. It took alot for me to post my one. I wrote it at the start of last week, when I was feeling really depressed. It just came from the heart.

And Beor's - well I'll let him explain that. But I'm happy with his as well. Finished mine off very well.

Lief Erikson · 04-13-2004, 01:10 AM

The overall meter could use some touching up. Some of the segments rhyme quite well, though.

It is an emotionally strong poem.

Lalaith_Elf · 04-13-2004, 05:56 AM

I'm starting to touch it up, care to point out any areas that really need my attention?

Beor · 04-13-2004, 07:40 AM

Not much explanation, Lal's poem inspired the words, and I typed them down. She set the mood, and I just did what I though was good with it. I didnt really ask either, so I am glad you dont mind

. Thanks for hte compliments as well, though, but it was mostly Lal anyway.

04-09-2004, 11:26 AM	#1
Lalaith_Elf Her Infernal Majesty Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,188	Chasm of Darkness Every night I lie awake, And everyday I see, Only darkness, Darkness that threatens me, Frozen tears stream down my face, At least they seem to do, For when I go to look at them, I can’t see black for blue, Loneliness seeps through my heart, And sets my soul on fire, Leaving me black and burnt, With an aching desire, I cut myself, With a handy knife And let the blood stream free Hoping that it will run from me, And eventually set me free. __________________ "It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this." - Yamamoto Tsunetomo Last edited by Lalaith_Elf : 04-11-2004 at 11:56 AM.

04-12-2004, 01:10 PM	#2
Beor founder of the color blue Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: E-Space Posts: 1,727	The blood streams warmly down my severed wrist and I think back to all the love I've missed I can feel the end beginning the end to all the pain I greet it gladly with nothing else to gain Then the end is all too near and I begin to quail all the hate and damaged pride all the anger fails I need the blood to stop I need to terror to end and every stream of blood looks like me. Little me, And it is laughing at me and the pain is no more and the end is seen and I see no more My sight is gone all feeling ceased my mind is reeling and it is too late and I am done and I want to scream but it is too late too late for any love too late for hope as the darkness, the final darkness descends __________________ Well, there it is.

04-12-2004, 04:06 PM	#3
Nerdanel Spammer of the Happy Thread Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Helsinki, Finland Posts: 3,512	Wow. Now you finish each others poems? No, really. Very emotional poems. I love them. They touched me deeply. I have no words. __________________ "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. " - C. Sagan My (photography) website My Flickr page

04-12-2004, 04:15 PM	#4
Lalaith_Elf Her Infernal Majesty Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,188	Thanks. It took alot for me to post my one. I wrote it at the start of last week, when I was feeling really depressed. It just came from the heart. And Beor's - well I'll let him explain that. But I'm happy with his as well. Finished mine off very well. __________________ "It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this." - Yamamoto Tsunetomo

04-13-2004, 05:56 AM	#6
Lalaith_Elf Her Infernal Majesty Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,188	I'm starting to touch it up, care to point out any areas that really need my attention? __________________ "It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this." - Yamamoto Tsunetomo

04-13-2004, 01:10 AM	#5
Lief Erikson Elf Lord Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Fountain Valley, CA Posts: 6,343	The overall meter could use some touching up. Some of the segments rhyme quite well, though. It is an emotionally strong poem.

04-13-2004, 07:40 AM	#7
Beor founder of the color blue Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: E-Space Posts: 1,727	Not much explanation, Lal's poem inspired the words, and I typed them down. She set the mood, and I just did what I though was good with it. I didnt really ask either, so I am glad you dont mind . Thanks for hte compliments as well, though, but it was mostly Lal anyway. __________________ Well, there it is.

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