Why start threads like this?

[katya]

EDIT: See a couple posts down for the real reason behind this thread.

So, I was at another message board and I noticed a couple "best ___ of all time" threads, namely one concerning first person shooter video games, but it could've just as easily been best movie, best band, etc. My question is, why start threads like this? What is their purpose?

Firstly, how can you say something is the "best"? You could take a movie, say, and rate it according to various different factors like plot, visuals, acting, etc. and pick that way. However, most people who reply to threads like that are going to pick their "best" based more on things like which movie they have fond memories of, the best movie out of their limited viewing history, which movie had a character they thought was really hot, etc.

Then there's the threads themselves, which usually end up with people posting only the title of their favourites over and over, and really don't seem to serve much purpose. Who wants to read something like that? Why do I care what movies everyone else likes and why they're so great? Or books? Or FPSs?

I'm not saying it's stupid or ridiculous or anything, mostly I was just thinking about what motivates people to start and post on these sort of threads. What is it that makes us immediately want to share our own favourites with everyone?

And do people actually care to read them?

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

It depends on where.

Here, for example, I'm starting to have an idea who people are, and threads like that give me another opportunity to learn about them, and maybe to share something about myself. It's conversation. Most conversation isn't urgent exchange of information, it's for relationship building.

Particularly on a board full of minors I think it can be a very helpful and neutral way to be "present." It's pretty low risk... I like chocolate, but finding out you prefer vanilla doesn't make me think less of you. And it doesn't require specialized knowledge, unless people want to be snarky about it.

A lot of times I'd have no opinion at all, like shoot-em-ups, which I've never played. So my interest in a thread largely devoted to them would depend on whether I was considering playing them, and how clearly anyone explained their preferences.

I miss a few of the old posts around here people started about their dogs, which the mods shut down. I liked hearing those "voices."

[The last sane person]

Eh, dont know why they shut it down either.. But I agree with what you say Sis, and I feel much the same.

[Rían]

well said, sis - yours is the BEST post on this thread ... oh, wait ... sorry ...

[Earniel]

I suppose 'best' threads could be used as ice-breakers, you can find out which people have a similar taste in movies or games without having to go through huge threads of conversation.

I think it is often also used as a bit of promotion. If you really like a certain movie or song, you'd like other people to see or hear it too. Spreading the love, so to speak. But frankly, I don't know whether that even works.


PS: Hang on, which dog thread got closed?

[katya]

Thanks for your replies, everyone. This went well... I think I'll explain the real reason for starting this thread now.

My friend started a thread similar to this one on the other message board I mentioned, asking the same question but with a little different approach, a little more argumentative and too direct. I got to thinking about tact and politeness and how it generally seems to make things go smoother, helps you get what you want. It's a lot more effective than letting it seem like you are attacking people and thus putting them on the defensive and angry. It's not that I'm faking politeness or anything; I really am like I am. But even if I do disagree with someone or think they're being stupid I don't think being mean about it helps. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings either.

Aaaanyway, I guess I proved my point. His thread did get a couple good replies, but not until the 15th post (including his own replies), and there was a lot of name-calling and arguing all through it. I should probably wait a little longer before telling you the secret but... well, Sis and Eärniel's posts were good enough. (though RÃ*an's was the best, of course. Of all time. ) And also I don't like having a post up that isn't really me, so to speak (the first post in this thread).

So this experiment is done. I don't know what to do this this thread- there's two topics to discuss now. I don't know if you wanna pick one, or close it, or whatever.

[Tessar]

Originally Posted by RÃ*an

well said, sis - yours is the BEST post on this thread ... oh, wait ... sorry ...

HAH!!!!


I totally lol'ed when I read that.

[Rían]

*blows Tessar a kiss*

hmm, interesting, kayta - of course, we all know that you're very nice, and that helps a lot. Even if your initial post was a little more aggressive, we prob. would have given you the benefit of the doubt, because we know you.

Typed discussion is very difficult - non-verbal stuff is - what? - 80 percent of communication? And we don't have any of that non-verbal stuff, except a limited repertoire of smilies (and the rollie-eyed smilie is a tough one - to some people, it conveys disgust, while to others, it conveys kind of a joking feeling). I know that you can take a post and read it many different ways, depending upon the voice inflection and facial expressions you assign to it. I remember being mad at someone once, and they PMed me and said wait, I never meant it that way, I meant it THIS way, and I re-read the post and saw that it could be read in an entirely different way ...

Anyway, enough rambling. Interesting topic, and I appreciate you filling us in on it so soon.

[katya]

Yeah, that's true, the fact that you guys know me and that this is an entirely different board are all variables that make this experiment highly unscientific. But hey if you thought I was nice before this it's kind of the same idea.

[sisterandcousinandaunt]

Originally Posted by katya

Yeah, that's true, the fact that you guys know me and that this is an entirely different board are all variables that make this experiment highly unscientific. But hey if you thought I was nice before this it's kind of the same idea.

It depends on the make-up of the board, too. Are posters regular? Is it a debating environment?

People with few social skills irl don't develop any more on the net...and some pride themselves on that.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

And people who had social skills often sadly lose them.

[Elanor]

What's really annoying is the threads where they try to eliminate one character, movie, or whatever from a list by simultaneously adding and subtracting points. I mean, what a worthless waste of time. I see these all the time on IMDB.com.

As for the "best" threads, I would simply suggest changing the focus to, "What's your favorite and why?" There's no way we can decide which is the best, but we can still discuss and learn about each other and different points of view. Even so, I rarely take part in these discussions because I am wishy-washy. Yes, I admit it. I am the wishy-washiest person I have ever met. I have no opinions on anything. j/k I have opinions but I could never choose just one favorite of anything.

[katya]

I don't think that's really wishy-washy, Elanor. I think not choosing a favourite, not having your heart set on any one thing, not holding onto one thing is marvelous. Ok, maybe you could call it wishy-washy but I don't think it's bad. Oh, and I am pretty much the worst decision-maker ever, including picking favourites.

The social skills thing is what I was concerned about. People aren't always trying to be mean; a lot of times they really just want a good discussion. But sometimes they can be too quick to get offended, and not check their own words, and have too much pride for humility. I was kind of testing people's responses to different attitudes...

[Nurvingiel]

I just feel like I was experimented upon.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

You are, Nurv; the world is controlled by mice, performing diabolically intricate and subtle experiments on all of us!

[Rían]

Originally Posted by Gwaimir Windgem

And people who had social skills often sadly lose them.

I know I saw my social skills around somewhere ...

*looks under the sofa cushions*

Originally Posted by Nurv

I just feel like I was experimented upon.

Yeah, I did too but it was katya, so it was ok

[katya]

I don't know... it didn't really occur to me that I'd be experimenting on you. But really, I am doing things like this all the time. It's just about paying attention to people, noticing what's going on. Observing how people act under different circumstances. I just went out of my way a little bit.

[brownjenkins]

1) Chocolate Chip
2) French Vanilla
3) Strawberry
4) Chocolate
5) Cookies & Cream