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10-01-2002, 09:26 PM
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#1 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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War For All Of Middle Earth™!
Explanation: This is the battle of the Five armies at the end of the Hobbit. It will start out with five armies, but all are welcome to add more or become a lowly soldier if you wish. The point here is no that this is a mere battle, but this is the first battle in the “WAR FOR ALL OF MIDDLE EARTH™!”
Twelve dwarves, one wizard and one hobbit are hiding some where in this picture. Can you spot them all? In the forgotten halls of the Lonely Mountain HumanPi looked out on the filed where soon the battle would begin. Strangely she was not anxious, as she stoked her hairless cat Rex, she felt Zen like calm fall on her. Then the attendant entered. Attendant: Bard as slain the dragon. The towns folk sings his praises. HumanPi: Excellent. Attendant: Shall I prepare your minions? HumanPi: You have to say it first. Attendant: What? HumanPi: *whining* It can’t start unless you say it! Attendant: *very uncomfortable* Oh, the one thing that stood in your way out the door through the great hall, the dragon Smuag the Golden, is slain! The World is now ripe for the taking! HumanPi: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! So it begins at last! Willow with her army of Pink Fluffy Killer Bunnies and Carnivorous Apples, and Knome with her army of Nunzillas shall be no match against my Army of Penguins! Feed the Penguins, Attendant! Feed them rice! Feed them rice! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha! Attendant: Yes, oh Lord of the Penguins! HumanPi: *throwing the hairless cat aside* Don’t call me that! I’m not a Penguin! I’m a not a Penguin!
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. |
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10-01-2002, 10:40 PM
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#2 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Minas Morgul
Posts: 400
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((OOC: Ooooh, I have GOT to be in this
 ))*from where HumanPi is sitting, she hears the sound of loud banging on a wall, and a voice screaming "Let me out!" She sends off her attendant to have a look around, who opens a door. Nazgul Queen falls out onto the floor* NQ: I am forever in your debt. That stupid Smaug locked me in there because he was afraid of my undefeatable power.... HPi: *raises eyebrow* NQ: Forgive me. I am Morauko, the Nazgul Queen, and with my army of miniature Nazgul on miceback I shall control Middleearth! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! HPi: I believe that I am the almighty power who re;eased you.... NQ: Do forgive me, Lord of the Penguins HPi: I AM NOT A PENGUIN!!!!!!!! NQ: Sorry... *a lightbulb appears over her head* Oh, will you stop that?! *she hits the lightbulb into the wall where it breaks into a thousand pieces* Much better. Now where was I? HPi: You were saying you were sorry for your insult... NQ: Ah yes... as i was saying, how about we unite our all-powerful armies in a quest to Conquer Middleearth!!!! As long as i get Mordor, we can split the spoils... and eat all those lovely tasty Bunnies, Apples and Nunzillas... HPi: Right... NQ: So, what do you say?
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Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor Mistress of the Night The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death. Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal... |
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10-01-2002, 10:46 PM
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#3 |
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Queen of Prolonged, Unexplained Absences
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Texas. 'Nuff said.
Posts: 556
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OOC: Can I use my character from the TLA, Claenoilbo? I'll wait for an answer before I post *waits*
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Very Biased Alternate Script (but it's funny!):Click here! FREAK RAIN!!!!!!!! O.o Queen of prolonged unexplained absences and long, loooong car rides. Well, hullo everyone. As you can see, I don't hang out here muchly anymore. There's a good reason for this. Y'see, I've been hanging out at a different chatboard called Cardboardia. So far, I've been havin' a blast. Not that I don't love the TLA, but the magic of Entmoot is lost on me. So, as soon as TLA ends, so will my existance here, probably. Who knows though? I might stay. Highly unlikely however. This is a good bye in advance, then. Unless you want to join me and my group of friends at Cardboardia. Cheers! |
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10-01-2002, 11:59 PM
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#4 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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OOC: Er...yes...I probably should have made a discusion thing for this thread. That shall be remedied in a nonce.
(I'm actually doing my Humanities home work, so I can't make a long post...) (We'll just stick to Human, how about it?) Human: Sound excellent. *Thinks* Yes, I could use her to further my own ends. And then, when she's least supecting it... NQ: Are you thinking about how you're goign to eat me when all this is over? HUman: Nonsences! *awkward pause* Human: well, we've got some people to smash! Let's go!
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. |
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10-02-2002, 05:14 PM
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#5 |
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Dead
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: on the floor, under the table, just to your left, your other left
Posts: 1,486
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Katt: All hail lord of the Penguins!
Human: I told you never to call me that! Katt: Fine. Whatever. My nunzillias are ready. But.... perhaps you would be interested in some better fighters. Aey? Human: *Suspiciously* What other fighters? Katt: I have under my command, an army of Uruk-Hi that I will lay at your feet. Human: Gracious. What do you want for them. Katt: I want Verisonguard back! It was really cool! Human: Then you shall have it. Attendent: *Comes back in* Begging your pardon lord, but would you like the rice for the penguins cooked or raw? Katt: You are feeding rice to the penguins? You cannot. Remember "Those who walk apon the earth without clothes, can not eat of the rice of your land." Or rather, "THEY CAN'T EAT RICE! THEY'RE NAKED!" as stated by Peter Stone. OOC: Rice to penguins? Honestly Eliza!!!
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How to Survive the Sillmarillion I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do. I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze. But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse. "Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day." |
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10-02-2002, 05:43 PM
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#6 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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Human: Don't be rediculous Katt. Penguins wear tuxs.
Katt: Oh, dear. I hadn't thought of that... Human: That's why I shall be leading this little...er...Conquistar el mundo! Conquistar el mundo! *rambling off spanish infinitives, Human marches off with Katt, NQ and Adendant in tow. As they reach a balcony, human is just saying...* Human: no, no, no. It needs to be raw rice, raw rice for it won't work other wise... NQ: Ah, behold! Our mighty forces have gathered! Human: *steps forward to make a really spthfiffy speach meant to reinfroce they bloddy thirty hoard withteh uge to win big, when suddenly....
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. |
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10-02-2002, 05:58 PM
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#7 |
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I elenfea
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Somewhere in the chaos between the first and second ages! (Actually, CO)
Posts: 556
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I enter.
Human : Ahem!! Dolenloteiel: *cuts in* Excuse me?? Doesn't anyones give any common courtesy??I've been waiting forever to get my stupid little army of tens of thousands of killer squirrels a job!! I understand someone wants to conquer Middle Earth?? Human: Hello?? you cut me off!! Show common courtesy!! DO: Show you courtesy?? What?? I'm trying to get my squirrels jobs while keeping them alive from that dratted dragon!! What are you doing?? get off that balcony, you look like penguins!! Human: I control the penguins!! DO: Lord of the Penguins?? Human: Don't call me that!! DO: Do my squirrels get a job or not?? Huiman: Fine, but don't let them eat my penguins' rice!! DO: FINE!! Make sure The Uruk-Hi keep away from my squirrels!! And, I want the whole central part of middle Earth in return for my services!! Human: FINE Katt:FINE
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"Middle Earth is a real place. And it is New Zealand." Sir Ian McKellan ****************************** QUESTION AUTHORITY Ask me anything ****************************** "I have not failed, I've only found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison ****************************** Visit Tolkien RP Site! Need members, RP all three Ages! (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) http://elvellon.suddenlaunch2.com ****************************** "Yay, I can hear the voices in my head again! |
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10-02-2002, 06:51 PM
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#8 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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Human: FINE.
Katt: FINE. DO: FINE Human: FINE. NQ: FINE Katt: Who asked you?! NQ: *sputters* Katt: Yeah, that's what I thought... NQ: Oh yeah?! That's what you thought huh??? Katt: Yeah that's what I thought! NQ: *raging* You want to take this out side?! Katt: Fine by me! NQ: FINE! Kat: FINE! *they take it out side* Human: *to DO* So, you were thinking maybe from the City of Gondor to the Gap of Rohan to the North part of Mirkwood Mirkwood, or some thing like that? OOC: Hello? Claenoic? I said yes, you can join now if you wish. Hello???
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. Last edited by Human#3.141592653 : 10-02-2002 at 06:53 PM. |
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10-02-2002, 08:10 PM
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#9 |
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Queen of Prolonged, Unexplained Absences
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Texas. 'Nuff said.
Posts: 556
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OOC: Actually, I've decided to do something different. Sorry!
*ClaeNOIC looked at her small troop of fluffy pink rabid killer bunnies. She smiled fondly at the sight of two bunnies comparing how sharp their two front teeth, but then turned to more serious matters. The penguins were going to arrive back, and she was still undecided about whether to fight for Human's cause, or keep her unusually short nose out of it. With a whim, she decides going to war was more important, not to mention an ample supply of chocolate* Claenoic: Pack up troops! We're heading out. Fluffy Pink Rabid Killer Rabbit #190: Where? Claenoic: To Human's Lair-I mean Castle. FPRKB #13: Why? Claenoic: We got some fighting to do. *Sees to packing up*
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Very Biased Alternate Script (but it's funny!):Click here! FREAK RAIN!!!!!!!! O.o Queen of prolonged unexplained absences and long, loooong car rides. Well, hullo everyone. As you can see, I don't hang out here muchly anymore. There's a good reason for this. Y'see, I've been hanging out at a different chatboard called Cardboardia. So far, I've been havin' a blast. Not that I don't love the TLA, but the magic of Entmoot is lost on me. So, as soon as TLA ends, so will my existance here, probably. Who knows though? I might stay. Highly unlikely however. This is a good bye in advance, then. Unless you want to join me and my group of friends at Cardboardia. Cheers! |
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10-02-2002, 08:13 PM
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#10 |
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Deus Ex Machina
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,951
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Meanwhile in the library at Imladris Willow is making phone call.
Willow:Hello, May I speak to Human? Person who answered the phone: Yes, one moment please. (Human come on the line) Hpi: Yes? What do you want? Willow: You began the operation? Hpi: You mean the one to take over the world? Yes of course, already our targets have begun to submit to my power. How is your research going? Willow: It progresses, soon I will have all the information I need to create... the you know what. Hpi: Ah, to create the you know what. Will you join your PFB's to the cause? Willow: Yes of course, we went over this in spanish class. Should we tell the others? Hpi: No, let them wonder. When will you bring the bunnies down from the hills? Willow: Soon, very soon. (The line shorts out as they both trail off in maniacal laughter.) OOC: Heh, taking over the world, Human and I actually wrote out a conversation planning how we would begin taking over the world over a phone conversation in spanish. I think we fightened our spanish teacher.
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"5. Plain Rings with RUNES on the inside. Avoid these like the PLAGUE.-Diana Wynne Jones Tough Guide To FantasyLand ...it's not much of a show if somebody doesn't suffer, and preferably at length. Suffering is beautiful in any case, and so is anguish; but as for loathing, and bitterness... I don't think they belong on the stage at all. - Isabella, I Gelosi |
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10-03-2002, 01:49 PM
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#11 |
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Sapling
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: At the sceen of Glorfindul's death!
Posts: 8
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In bursts me.
GBalrog: I want to join the war for Middle Earth! My army of fifteen balrogs is at your disposal, Lord of the Penguins! HumanPi: Don't call me that! GBalrog: Fine.
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I killed him! Yes! I did it! Aw crap! Look at that! Stupid rencarnated elf! |
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10-03-2002, 08:35 PM
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#12 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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Human: *wines* I'm not a penguin...
Attendant: Ahem... Human: Oh right! First we must decide who gets what of Middle Earth before there is any conquoring. We want to this neat and oragnaized. *Joking* we don't to just ogo out there and start smashing things... *Every leaves to go start smashing things.* Human: Curses! Penguin: Mier? Human: Oh alright. If I must... BRING TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF THE MEN OF DALE! SMASH THEM YOUR FEET OF DOOM! BASH THEM WITH YOUR MALLETS! CLASH BY WEARING WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY! TRANSFORMERS, TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT! Penguin: Mier? Human: I said: TRANSFORMERS, TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT! *Penguin trundles uncertainly out to do Human's biding.*
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. Last edited by Human#3.141592653 : 10-03-2002 at 08:36 PM. |
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10-04-2002, 09:03 PM
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#13 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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OOC: Well, if no body else is going to post then I will. Sheesh, do I have to do every thing my self? Honestly! I've seen more Life out of the Dead Marshes!
The Men, and the women, of Dale where having a great party now that the Dragon was dead. But even then, some still turned their attention to the Dwarves in their halls of stone, there with all that gold…. They called upon the Elven King, and together he and Bard marched upon the Lonely mountain. Gandalf off on his errand had brought back with him the Dwarven and Eagle armies to push back the darkness and oncoming tide of the Goblins, who out numbered them all. The Five armies stood poised in the brink of war. The Great Goblin Replacement (as the first Great Goblin had been slain,) sat astride his great warug of evil, Raised his hand opened his great mouth which needed a great cleaning, about to bellow his war cry of “SPOON!!!” Great Goblin Replacement: “Wha…?” Out of the mouth of the Lonely Mountain streamed something. It was black and white and made noises like “Mier?” And a hell of a lot of them. They trundled out squawking looking about to every one’s stunned silence. One, ahead of the rest walked through the the entirety of the Elven army, passed the Elven King’s body guards, strait up the Elven King himself, who was more than a little bewildered. I regarded him little sadly, and said “Mier?” And exploded. The explosion had a radius of about five, and killed the King and several sundry others. Then every thing went nuts.
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. |
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10-04-2002, 09:48 PM
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#14 |
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I elenfea
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Somewhere in the chaos between the first and second ages! (Actually, CO)
Posts: 556
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*sneaking around inside Humans Castle* Aha! Dials up Willow Oran
WO Hello? hUman? you promised never to call me here? What's wrong? *Hangs up* DO what was that all about? *rounds up squirrel captains* I want every killer squirrel in line and ready to march! SC (squirrel captains) ok, *scampers out* DO i need to know what human is really up to. *evil laugh. is thrown to the ground b/c of an explosion and hears elven and goblin curses followed by "mier" from the penguins*
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"Middle Earth is a real place. And it is New Zealand." Sir Ian McKellan ****************************** QUESTION AUTHORITY Ask me anything ****************************** "I have not failed, I've only found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison ****************************** Visit Tolkien RP Site! Need members, RP all three Ages! (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) http://elvellon.suddenlaunch2.com ****************************** "Yay, I can hear the voices in my head again! |
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10-04-2002, 10:59 PM
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#15 |
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Queen of Prolonged, Unexplained Absences
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Texas. 'Nuff said.
Posts: 556
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*Claenoic thwacks rabbits into position*
Claenoic: All ready then? You back there, fluff up your tail properly! And no floppy ears, you, at a 45 degree angle, stiffly sah! By the left, quick hop! *All the rabbits start hopping to the battle ground*
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Very Biased Alternate Script (but it's funny!):Click here! FREAK RAIN!!!!!!!! O.o Queen of prolonged unexplained absences and long, loooong car rides. Well, hullo everyone. As you can see, I don't hang out here muchly anymore. There's a good reason for this. Y'see, I've been hanging out at a different chatboard called Cardboardia. So far, I've been havin' a blast. Not that I don't love the TLA, but the magic of Entmoot is lost on me. So, as soon as TLA ends, so will my existance here, probably. Who knows though? I might stay. Highly unlikely however. This is a good bye in advance, then. Unless you want to join me and my group of friends at Cardboardia. Cheers! |
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10-04-2002, 11:12 PM
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#16 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Minas Morgul
Posts: 400
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NQ: *starts to go outside andobserve the battle, but trips over a mouse* HEY! YOU!
MiniNazgul1: Who, me? NQ: Yes you! What are you doing, letting your mice loose. Do you realise how long it took for me to breed invincible black mice with poisoned teeth and claws? MiniNazgul2: Honestly, Jane, what did I tell you about looking after your mouse? Sorry your highness, Jane is one of our newer recruits and has a lot to learn NQ: That's alright. Now, where is the general? MiniNazgul2: He's over with the Penguins, checking out the strength of their forces. Jane, can you show her the way? MiniNazgul1: Of course. *they walk over to the Penguin army, where they see a foot high nazgul mounted on a Mouse the size of a Cat* GeneralNazgulwort: Your Highness, you called for me? NQ: Yes, it is time to get the army into order. For now we fight! Nazgulwort: Yes, your highness. The mice are in top condition and the MiniNazgul well trained. We shall be victorious! NQ: Very good. Organise the ranks near the Penguin army, and wait for my signal. Now i have to find HumanPi... *hears the explosion* I guess that'll be her.... *goes to look*
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Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor Mistress of the Night The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death. Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal... |
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10-04-2002, 11:37 PM
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#17 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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Human: *cries war cry* Spoon! Spoon! Wa ha ha ha ha ha! *Human leaps about on her Pogo Stick of Death when a penguin comes rushing up*
Peguin: Mier! Human: What's the password?! Penguin: *Hands Human a note which says "Spork"**Hands Human a note which reads as follows* "Sir! er...Ma'am! Uh, Sir! Do was seen sneaking around the Sacred Phone of Talkinessness. We dialed *69 after she left, and the number rang at Willow's. She want's to know how the "Blasted Battle is going and what the Fek is going on over there?!" What should I tell her, and what should we about DO?" Human: *pauses in the middle of the fray miracuously does not get killed.* Hmm, I don't trust that DO, sneaking around where she shouldn't...I want a penguin on her at all times! Literally! And tell Willow to wait until we get to Imladris, unless we call on her...er...again. *Mounts Pogo stick of Death and rides off* A few minutes later: DO: La la la! I'm just going to the battle! La la la! *Penguin falls from above on to her head.* DO: AH!
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. |
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10-05-2002, 12:36 AM
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#18 |
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Deus Ex Machina
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Seattle
Posts: 1,951
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OOC: One of these days I'm going to have to get the PFB's copyrighted...
OOC2: Ignore anything you ever knew about timelines in middle earth, assume that this is taking place during the end of the hobbit and the beginning of the fourth age simultaneously. (Willow hangs up the phone.) Willow: Blasted recruits, I told Human to hide the phones but noo... Tika! Chicho! Get over here! (Two Pink Fluffy Bunnies come hopping over, they are slightly larger than the others and they are carrying spears.) Tika: Yes oh mistress? Willow: Have you sent out the spies? Chicho: Yes. Willow: Good, (hands Tika a slip of paper,) this has the names of some of our so called allies. Send special agents to shadow them. If they step out of line you know what to do. (Hands a sealed letter to Chicho,) It is vital to our plan that we have control of Gondor, have Cera take the letter to King Elessar and his Lady. By the time he gets it I will be in total control of Imladris and in a position to put them in a hostage situation. Chicho and Tika: It will be done. Willow: Good, now to begin the takeover Imladris operation. Now where did I put that frying pan... OOC: Willow is turning into a devious little girl now, isn't she. Human and Katt have corrupted her.
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"5. Plain Rings with RUNES on the inside. Avoid these like the PLAGUE.-Diana Wynne Jones Tough Guide To FantasyLand ...it's not much of a show if somebody doesn't suffer, and preferably at length. Suffering is beautiful in any case, and so is anguish; but as for loathing, and bitterness... I don't think they belong on the stage at all. - Isabella, I Gelosi |
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10-05-2002, 02:13 AM
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#19 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Posts: 292
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OOC: It really doesn't take that long, really. Any one can be corrupted by the seductive whiles of Katt and I!
OOC2: Willow! Why are always on so late??? And do you read your PMs?? Does any one?? (besides Mirahzi  ) I PMed Tano, and she didn't answer... (it was an invite to this thread so perhaps she just declined to answer...)Eagle Captain: "The strange fllightless exploding tuxido wear birds cannot reach us at this hight! The day shall be ours!" *EC get beaned in the head with a snow ball* EC: "By Lucifer's Beard!" (I don't know what eagles swear by...) Second in Comand Eagle: Our troops are getting bombarded with snow balls thrown by the flightless exploding birds! EC: Yes I can see that, but where did they come from? SICE: From the Lonely Mountain Sir! EC: The snow balls, idiot! SICE: From the Penguins Sir! EC: Yes, I know that! But how?! SICE: They're form the artic.... *EC was about to chew out his Second in Comand, when suddenly he get bean in teh head with a snow ball and falls* SICE: *screams like a human woman* RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! *The cry is taken up by all the ealges and they run away, which looks really odd as they fly at teh same time...*
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You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. |
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10-05-2002, 10:15 AM
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#20 |
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I elenfea
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Somewhere in the chaos between the first and second ages! (Actually, CO)
Posts: 556
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DO *smacks Penguin* what do you think your doing??
P155 I'm following you, you brainless idiot, *smacks DO* DO don't touch me! *throws penguin across the room and it explodes against the wall* Holy Illuvatar!! DO Squirrel Captains!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SC yes lady? DO attack!! attack!! attack!!! HAHAHAHAAAAAA SC *pulls out little tiny bags of acorns and jump into the fray throwing acorns left and right* haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa DO NO stop!! SC *comes back* DO ORDER THE OTHER SQUIRRELS TO ATTACK!!! SC okay ATTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK *throwing acorns and jumping back into the fray* DO sigh, *bangs head against the wall*
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"Middle Earth is a real place. And it is New Zealand." Sir Ian McKellan ****************************** QUESTION AUTHORITY Ask me anything ****************************** "I have not failed, I've only found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison ****************************** Visit Tolkien RP Site! Need members, RP all three Ages! (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) http://elvellon.suddenlaunch2.com ****************************** "Yay, I can hear the voices in my head again! |
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