What if Lord of the Rings were written by someone else?

[Coney]

What if Tolkien hadn't written LotR.........would another have gained the inspiriation?

Check this out!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...0&pagenumber=1

[claudia silver]

That was brilliant!

Loved the Dr. Suess's FOTR and Irvine Welsh...........some people are so.........clever

[Lollypopgurl]

LOL

[Beleg Strongbow]

Brian Jacques: Feasts every page.

[The Rip Designs Dude]

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the greatest hobbit of them all
Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins he’s only 3 feet tall



Well my name is Gimli
I’m a ****ing dwarf !
I been slaying muther****ers
from the south to the north
that ain’t Mirkwood I’m choppin with my battleaxe
I’m on an orc stampede like Shadowfax



Now all you Boffins and Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfeet
I’m the skinny hobbit with all the fat beats
My name is Merry and I’m five feet tall
I used to **** **** up at Brandybuck hall
My man Bilbo’s older than Gerontius Took
Yeah you can read about it in the big Red Book.



Quickbeam on the scene
All the elf girls scream
Like a tree, That’s me
I Like to keep it green.
It’s the chronic pipeweed that I’m smoking
When I get high I spin tales like Tolkien.



Well I’m a hobbit warrior short and stout
I got the ****in beats that will turn you out.
I’ll light you up like Longbottom leaf.
cause the orcs smoke the shwag, but we got the kief.



I’m Quickbeam with the masterplan
I’m Bombadil with the mic in my hand
We’re Lords of the Rhymes from a far off land
And We’ll Rock this joint with our hobbit band.



Yo Beam, Yo Dil
It’s time to get ill !!!
We light up the mic like a Silmaril
Frodo’s on the lam with Pippin and Sam
But you can call him “Underhill.�



I named the nameless hills and dells
I drank from yet untasted wells
Goin’ mad off the hook just like a Numenorean
I got more rhymes than there’s leaves in Lothlorien.



Yo, I’m harder than a Mithril coat
A hundred is the number of the orcs I smote
I battled Helms Deep and I took Minas Tirith
If you don’t watch out, I’ll make your ass dissappeareth.



He’s Smeagol, not Deagol
He step up to the mic, he look regal
He’s mean, he’s green,
Gollum beat box like you never seen.



Go Gollum! Go Gollum! Go Gollum!



I’m Quickbeam with the masterplan
I’m Bombadil with the mic in my hand
We’re Lords of the Rhymes from a far off land
And We’ll Rock this joint with our hobbit band



My rhymes are hotter than the cracks of doom.
The orcs got bass, but we got boom.
Me and Dil be rockin rooms
From the Misty Mountains to the Gulf of Lhun.
I’m the King Ad Hoc!
I will be sire.
I was born Aragorn,
But you can call me Strider.



I’m Bombadil and I’ll gladly sing
I got the song for everything
I got the number for Old Man Willow
Bright blue my jacket is and my boots are yellow.



Elbereth Gilthoniel !
we still remember we who dwell.
On the this far land beneath the trees
Thy starlight on the Western seas.
A Elbereth Gilthoniel,
silivren penna mÃ*riel
o menel aglar elenath!
Na-chaered palan-dÃ*riel



Which means…



Elf booty got soul!
Elf girls like to rock’n’roll!


Elf booty got soul!
Elf girls like to rock’n’roll!










----------
hehehe, sweet!

[Finglas]

And the night at Bag End when I sat there sitting with you asking you yes to take the ring to Mordor and the hair on your feet was raised on end like grass blowing in the breezes through the forests of your heart yes and the Black Gate waiting groaning and the breezes blowing through the hair raised on end on your feet treading the way to Mordor knowing yes to say say yes I will take the ring to Mordor and the lamp light flickering in the hall in Bag End on the hair on your feet knowing to say yes I will take the ring yes I will yes.

Portrait of the Hobbit as a young Man
James Joyce