They'd never say that! (part 2)

[The Sasquatch of Fangorn]

Uruks are running through Rohan with merry and pippin

Uruk 1: *sniffs*

Uruk 2: "What is it? What do you smell?"

Uruk 1: *sniffs one more time* " Man-flesh! No, wait sorry. That's just barbecue!

Uruk 3: What are they cooking?

Uruk 1: Hamburgers, chicken, and hot dogs!

Uruk 2; Looks like meat is back on the menu boys!

Originally Posted by jammi567

Feanor has just created the simarils, and is having a party to celebrate. suddenly, Barbie Girl by Aqua is playing very loudly (don't ask), and he also grabs Galadrials hand to dance with her. she's pissed out of her mind.

Hi, Glad!
Hi, Feo! (falls over)
(pulling her up) You wanna go for a ride?
Sure, Feo!
Jump in! (both fall into an opentop sportscar. Feanor takes the wheel and zooms around the plains of Valinor).

(Galadriel) I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's brill (throws up over edge of car)
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere (feanor looks long and hard at her breasts. Manages to just advoid the Trees).
Imagination, life is your creation (throws up again. Feanor does a thumbs up to Eru).
(Feanor) Thanks dude!

(Feanor) You're my doll, rock'n'roll (smokes a bit of weed whilst also imitating hitting drums), feel the glamouring and pain (takes his shoes and socks off. Puts car on autopilet and at high speed).
Kiss me here (touches d**k), touch me there (touches knee) , hanky panky (she touches him lightley on the knee).

(Galadriel) Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees. (during this, she takes off her shoes and dress, and he takes off his shirt and trousers. They are both totally naked).

(both together) You can touch, you can play
If you say: "I'm always yours". (Feanor stops the car. Galadriel gets on top of him, and is about to do "it" when...)

(Finarfin) What the effing hell are you doing?!
(Finwe) Yes Feanor, you were about to have sex with your step-niece!
(Feanor) I know that, but I really wanted a bit of her hair, and when she said no...
(Finwe) You, young man, are grounded for 12 years.
(Feanor) But dad, I've just created the most...
(Finwe) I don't ******* care, you're still grounded.
(Finarfin) That goes for you too, but for as well as taking drink, you're grounded for an extra 15 years.
(Galadriel, getting up from the floor) But daddy, it's not my fault. (she bursts into tears).

um i think you have a bit too much time on your hands.

[me9996]

Feramir(Singing): I told the Witch King that I was in love with you.
(Dun dun dun)
Feramir(Singing): I told the Witch King that I was in love with you!
(Dun dun dun)
Feremir(Singing): My friend the Witch King he told me what do do he said say:
Ooo-ah ooo ah-ah bing bang walla-walla bing-bang
Ooo-ah ooo ah-ah bing-bang walla-walla bing-bang!
(Ect.)

[luvEyowen]

Wow. This thread is getting reallllly annoying

(Saruman finishes his speech about how Gandalf wants the staffs of all five wizards, etc. etc.)
Gandlf: Well, yeah, I do. BUT THAT IS AGAINST THE POINT! YOU ARE AN EVIL WIZARD!!!!!
Saruman: NO IM NOT!!!!
G: Than who made all thos Uruk-Hai over there?
Uruk-Hai 1: Grrrrrrrr
S: not me! My, ummmmmm, evil clone! Namuras!
U-H1: GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr
G: Really?
S:UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
(Uruk-Hai army rushes at gandalf. Gandalf sidesteps. Uruk-Hai knock down Isengard.)
U-H1:Oops.

[me9996]

(Right after Saruman has had his staff broken and been dismissed by Gandalf)
Gandalf: Well that could have gone better
(Wormtonge throws the palateir at Gandalf but misses and hits the flagstone Merry is standing on, which in turn flings Merry off into one the many ponds that now fill Isenguard)
Merry: Help! Help!
Aragorn: Shouldn't someone go get him?
Gandalf: Nah, after nearly drowning he'll take better to advice about water.

[me9996]

It's the fourth of july so -as I have before- I am going to try to make a funny involving orcs and fireworks...
__________________
Orc 1: I wonder why Gandalf isn't doing a fireworks display this year...
Orc 2: Yeah, he's done it every year up till now.
Orc 1: But we'll have fireworks anyway! Know why?
Orc 2: No...
Orc 1: I'm going to put on a fireworks display!
(Orc 1 draws a large fireworks rocket out of his pocket)
Orc 1: You know, this rocket was pretty hard to find for some reason...
(A police officer shows up and arrests Orc 1 for possession of illegal fireworks)

[Alec]

continue the tread