LOTR Juxstapostion

[Starr Polish]

I still thought the movie was amazing. I went with my younger step sister, who had to have been eight or nine at the time. We both adore that movie. I remember talking to her about it afterwards. We both got the shivers when the sea parted.

[Earniel]

The sea-scene was kinda nice. But then I remembered reading somewhere that the only sea where this could have taken place was the Dead Sea and there are no whales and fish in there. That's why it's called the Dead Sea anyway. So this kind of ruined the scene for me.

[Arathorn]

For me, the best Moses film was the live action "The Ten Commandments (1956) starring Charlton Heston. I still find it impressive how they did the parting of the sea then without CGI. The smallest computer back then will probably fill up a small auditorium and is slower than an old PC.

[Nariel Starfire]

The sea was made out of jello. And anyway, in the '56 version, you can see Charlton Heston wearing a Rolex. It's pretty funny.

[Finrod Felagund]

Originally posted by bropous
Were Disney to have done Lord of the Rings as a film, Tolkien himself would have risen from the grave as a revenging wraith to strike down the studio bosses. Tolkien DESPISED Disney stuff...source "Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien".

However, if the Disney of present day did LotR, Sam and Frodo would be gay, Arwen would be played by Christine Aqquilera and would end up going for Eowyn, Snoop Doggy Dog would rap and make us hurl as Lord of the Nazgul, all characters would spew obscenities and street ebonics with every turn, the Elves would wear football team coats and drive BMWs, and the Palantiri would be replaced with cel phones. Disney now is an abomination and cannot be trusted to turn out a good, much less acceptable for children, film.

[Finrod Felagund]

I think the Rolexwas in Ben-Hur also Charlton Heston.

[Finrod Felagund]

Lord of the Dance, Lord of the Flies. Lord of the Rings:
-The hobbits end up stranded on a desert island and pass the time by clog dancing.

George Lucas does LOTR
-Saruman: Join me, Gandalf!
-Gandalf: Never! You killed my father!
-Saruman: No, Gandalf. I am your father.
Gandalf: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Disney does LOTR
-Imagine live action disney LOTR
BTW: No, it was not his bent knee (seen the movie too many times to believe that one). And on the cover, there was a, um, misdrawn tower.

All the male characters are female and vice versa:
Hey that way Liv Tyler doesn't have to STEAL a man's part. Gandalf would eat a lot more chocolate. Well, come to think of it, they would all be eating chocolate instead of smoking piepeweed all the time. Aragorn would just laugh when Eowyn begs him/her to let him/her go along. Gimli would have a ridged forhead, and no one would say Sam and Frodo were gay, cuz it's okay for girls to act like that with each other. Merry and Pippin would get yelled at more often, and insted of eating all the time, they'd say "What about Jenny Craig?"
"I don't think he knows about Jenny Craig."
"But what about Slim Fast, and Power Bar, and Chub Club, and Martha Stewart, and 24 Hour Fitness, and Lean Cuisine (sp?)? Do you think he knows about those?"
"I wouldn't count on it." two V8s come flying at them instead of apples




I've got a better idea for George Lucas, actually I got it off of a website but it's really funny:
Gandalf:You shall not PASS!
BALROG:Gandalf...I am your father.
Gandalf:NOOOO...*cracks the bridge in twain.
BALROG:*falls off the bridge*SOOOONNNN!!!
Gandalf:*Reaches down and tries to catch the Balrog*No. FATHER.*breaks down and weeps*
OR...
Frodo starts fighting Gollum near the Cracks of Doom and is all struggling and stuff like that.
Gollum:Hisss Precious, I am hobbitses father.
Frodo:NOOOO!*starts fighting ALOT and mortally woundes Gollum*
suddenly Sauron shows up and starts zapping Frodo, Gollum comes up behind him and throws him over the Cracks of Doom along with the Ring. He falls down.Frodo takes Gollums head in his lap.
Frodo:Father*breaks down and weeps*
Gollum:*weakly*Hsssss. Hobbits...will...forgive...us...precious...son
Frodo:Yes father
Gollum dies and Frodo breaks down weeping.
Now THAT is the making of a REALLY scary movie. It kind of makes you wanna laugh though.


Hey what if Francis Ford Copolla did LotR
I can see it now....

THe Godfather of the RIng...
Gandalf (scratching his chin): eh..ya know, Frodo, the boss... he don't like that you got this.... ehh, ring... He said... eh,....he said he's gonna send 'em after you.... ya know.... they wanna plug you... I think you betta get outa hea.

[Finrod Felagund]

I didn't write those but they were the funniest ones that I read

[Nariel Starfire]

thanks finrod.. at least someone appreciates my work.

And in Ben-Hur, you can see a red camaro in the background...