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02-03-2003, 03:10 AM
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#41 |
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Elf Lord of the Grey Havens
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: somewhere else
Posts: 2,381
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Aragorn pases peasants:
"He must be the king! "How can you tell?" "Because he hasn't got **** all over him."
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There exists a limit to the force even ther most powerful may apply without destroying themselves. Judging this limit is the true artistry of government. Misuse of power is the fatal sin. The law cannot be a tool of vengance, never a hostage, nor a fortification against the martyrs it has created. You cannot threaten any individual and escape the consequences. -Muad'dib on Law The Stilgar Commentary |
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02-03-2003, 09:30 AM
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#42 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: and why do YOU want to know?
Posts: 685
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We are the Nazgul who say NI !!!
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The only thing active about me is my imagination! |
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02-03-2003, 11:11 AM
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#43 |
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Death of Mooters and [Entmoot] Internal Affairs
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 2,870
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In order to be...pass you must give us a...ring! A Ring!
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Fëanor - Innocence incarnated Still, Aikanáro 'till the Last battle. |
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02-03-2003, 11:43 AM
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#44 |
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Dread Mothy Lord and Halfwitted Apprentice Loremaster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula, CA
Posts: 10,820
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One that looks nice! And not too expensive!
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Crux fidelis, inter omnes arbor una nobilis. Nulla talem silva profert, fronde, flore, germine. Dulce lignum, dulce clavo, dulce pondus sustinens. 'With a melon?' - Eric Idle |
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02-03-2003, 07:30 PM
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#45 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: In the inner depths of my lair.
Posts: 421
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i dunno if these have been done before but in TTT...
Gandalf whistles for shadowfax, and soon you hear hoofbeats along the ground. Over the hill appears.... a hobbit, bearing a large backpack and coconuts in hand! As Gandalf appears in all his glory before Aragorn Legolas and Gimli the three break out into an argument. Aragorn: Who is that? Gimli: I dunno! Legolas: Well... that shiny light and the staff could mean hes a wizard! Gimli: Well how can we know for sure? Aragorn: (ponders for a moment) Easy! If he floats! Gimli and Legolas: WHAT? Aragorn: Well... wizards float... right? Gimli and Legolas: Well... yes. Aragorn: So we have to prove that he can float! Legolas: Well how do we do that? There isnt any water nearby! Aragorn: uh.... we could weigh him! Gimli: Well how do we know he weighs less than water? Aragorn: We weigh him with something that floats! Legolas: Do we have anything that floats? Gimli: Wood floats! Legolas: We cant cut branches off these trees or we will be pounded by ents! Aragorn: So we'll weigh him with a duck! Gimli: Where are we goin to get a duck! Aragorn: We shall use THE HOLY DUCK OF GONDOR! (Aragorn removes duck from pack, duck shines with a holy light, sets duck on large set of scales that appears out of midair) Aragorn: Mr. whoeveryouare, kindly sit on this side of the scale! (Mr. whoeveryouare sits on scales, rocks back and forth, stops moving and...) Legolas: Hes a wizard! Gimli: But that still doesnt prove who he is!
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Treebeard: Hmm, you look like hobbits, smell like hobbits, feel like hobbits and sound like hobbits. You must be orcs! |
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02-03-2003, 07:39 PM
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#46 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: and why do YOU want to know?
Posts: 685
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Eomer and co. are just leaving Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas. He gives them 6 coconut haves.
In FOTR when Frodo almost gets speared by the orc cheiftain Sam starts sobbing Sam: He's dead Strider: No he's not Sam: yes he is Strider: he's not dead he's uhh.. Sleeping Sam: This hobbit sir is dead Sam picks up Frodo and whacks across the side of a wall Strider: he was waking up and you just stunned him Sam: whatever They carry him out mourning etc;... Frodo yawns and says: I'm hungry Not very close to the script but it's sorta good right???
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The only thing active about me is my imagination! |
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02-05-2003, 09:30 PM
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#47 |
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Elven Warrior
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: In the inner depths of my lair.
Posts: 421
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its still pretty good!
heres another one...... the uruk hai arrive at helms deep using coconuts as armor. Aragorn: where did you get the coconuts? Uruk Hai: we found them by the side of the road! Aragorn: coconuts dont grow in middle earth! Uruk Hai: well... maybe a swallow brought it! Aragorn: a swallow? a gondorian swallow is too small to carry such a burden! Uruk Hai: well.... maybe a grey havien swallow dropped it! Aragorn: theres no such thing! Uruk Hai: yes there is! Aragorn: no there isnt! Uruk Hai: yes there is! Aragorn: no there isnt! Uruk Hai: yes there is! Aragorn: no there isnt! Uruk Hai: yes there is! Aragorn: no there isnt! ....................
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Treebeard: Hmm, you look like hobbits, smell like hobbits, feel like hobbits and sound like hobbits. You must be orcs! |
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02-05-2003, 10:29 PM
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#48 |
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Quasi Evil
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland, US
Posts: 4,634
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Cont. from Evenstar1400's post:
Uruk Hai: yes there is!
Aragorn: no there isnt. Uruk Hai: Look this isnt an argument! Aragorn: Yes it is. Uruk Hai: No it isnt! Its just a contradiction! Aragorn: No it isnt. Uruk Hai: Yes it is. Aragorn: It is not. Uruk Hai: It is. You just contradicted me. Aragorn: No I didnt. Uruk Hai: Ooh, You Did! Aragorn: No, no, no, no, no. Uruk Hai: You did, just then. Aragorn: No, nonsense! Uruk Hai: Oh, look this is futile! Aragorn: No it isnt. Uruk Hai: I came here for a good argument. Aragorn: No you didnt, you came her for an argument. Uruk Hai: Well, an argument's not the same as contradiction. Aragorn: It can be. Uruk Hai: No it cant! An argument is a connected series of statements to establish a definite proposition. Aragorn: No it isnt. Uruk Hai: Yes its is. It isnt just contradiction. Aragorn: Look, if I argue with you I must take up a contrary position. Uruk Hai: But it isnt just saying 'No it isnt'. Aragorn: Yes it is. Uruk Hai: No it isnt! Argument is an intellectual process... contradictioin is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says. Aragorn: No it isnt. Uruk Hai: Yes it is. Aragorn: Not at all. Uruk Hai: Now look.... Aragorn: *ringing bell* Thank you. good morning. Uruk Hai: What? Aragorn: Thats it. Good morning. Uruk Hai: But I was just getting interested. Aragorn: Sorry the five minutes is up. Uruk Hai: That was never five minutes just now! Aragorn: I'm afraid it was. Uruk Hai: No it wasnt. Aragorn: ........I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to argue anymore. Uruk Hai: What!? Aragorn: If you want me to go on arguing youll have to pay for another five minutes. Uruk Hai: But that was never five minutes just now! Oh come on! This is rediculous. Aragorn: I'm very sorry, but I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless youve paid. Uruk Hai: Oh all right! There you are. Aragorn: Thank you. Uruk Hai: Well? Aragorn: Well what? Uruk Hai: That was never five minutes just now. Aragorn: I told you I'm not allowed to argue unless youve paid. Uruk Hai: Ive just paid! Aragorn: No you didnt. Uruk Hai: I did! I did! I did! Aragorn: No you didnt. Uruk Hai: Look I dont want to argue about that. Aragorn: Well Im very sorry but you didnt pay. Uruk Hai: Aha! Well if i didnt pay why are you arguing?....got you! Aragorn: No you havent. Uruk Hai: Yes I have. If you are arguing I must have paid. Aragorn: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time. Uruk Hai: Ive had enough of this. Aragorn: No you havent. Uruk Hai: Shut up!
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"People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." |
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02-06-2003, 06:58 AM
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#49 |
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The Quite Querulous Quendi
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oxon, UK
Posts: 638
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That bears a signficant resemblance to certain threads round here... Frodo scrawling on the walls of Cirith Ungol. Shagrat: "The people called orcs they go the house??" Frodo: "eerrr it says Orcs go Home" Shagrat: "No it doesn't. What's the orcish for orc?" Frodo: "errrrr.." Shagrat: "come on, come on.." etcg |
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02-08-2003, 10:32 PM
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#50 |
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Elf Lord
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: and why do YOU want to know?
Posts: 685
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NINE NINE
(from the hilter sketch)
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The only thing active about me is my imagination! |
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02-08-2003, 10:56 PM
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#51 |
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Sapling
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 2
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i think y'all are doing fine on pythonizing the movies and since i don't think i can contribute much of value in the way of originality, i'd like to contribute 3 scenes actually in the movies that can stand as is. my mind went directly to monty python when i saw these, and it hasn't wavered after seeing them multiple times each---
--FOTR: the old, grimy gatekeeper at bree who opens the spy hole and is immediately flattened by the wraiths --FOTR: gimli's helmet hitting the edge of the tomb as he is sighing in sorrow over balin's death ("Ah!!!.....clunk!) --TTT: the silly-running-in-random-directions-and-hitting-people-in-macho-style scene which occurs as gandalf walks toward theoden (aragorn, legolas and, of course, gimli) |
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02-12-2003, 01:02 PM
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#52 |
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Quasi Evil
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland, US
Posts: 4,634
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The Meaning Of Life On Middle Earth...
WHAT RELIGION WOULD BE LIKE IF SAURON HAD WON
EVIL PRIEST And spotteth twice they the Balrogs before the third age. And so the Southrons went forth to Ram Gilead in Kadesh Bilgemath by Shor Ethra Regalion, to the house of Gash-Bil-Betheul-Bazda, he who brought the butter dish to Balshazar and the tent peg to the house of Rashomon, and there slew they the goats, yea, and placed they the bits in little pots. Here endeth the lesson. [Evil Priest closes the Book of Sauron. the Evil Chaplain rises.] CHAPLAIN Let us praise Sauron. Oh Lord... CONGREGATION Oh Lord... CHAPLAIN Ooooh you are so big... CONGREGATION Ooooh you are so big... CHAPLAIN So absolutely huge. CONGREGATION So ab - solutely huge. CHAPLAIN Gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you. CONGREGATION Gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you. CHAPLAIN Forgive Us, O Lord, for this dreadful toadying. CONGREGATION And barefaced flattery. CHAPLAIN But you are so strong and, well, just so super. CONGREGATION Fan - tastic. [The congregation rises and the Evil Chaplain leads them in singing.] CHAPLAIN AND CONGREGATION Oh Lord, please don't burn us, Don't grill or toast your flock, Don't put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock, Don't braise or bake or boil us, Or stir-fry us in a wok... Oh please don't lightly poach us, Or baste us with hot fat, Don't fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in a vat, And please don't stick thy servants Lord, In a Rotissomat... Hee hee… its amazing how little I had to change this from its original catholic church format. Makes you wonder…
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"People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." |
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02-12-2003, 08:21 PM
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#53 |
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My microwave speaks to me
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Having conversations with my major household appliances.
Posts: 937
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I think people might have done this so if they have forgive me.
Aragorn gets his arm cut off and replies to the Orc who did it: Tis but a flesh wound! the orc cuts another arm off and a leg Aragorn then says: I've had worse! The Orc replies what are you going to do blead on me. He then cuts off Aragorns other leg and runs away. Aragorns yells back thats right run away you coward come back here and I'll bit your kneecaps!
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Bah, Bah black sheep have oyu any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, one for the little boy who lives down the lane! Bah, bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full. I'll be gone for a while. But never fear! "I shall return anon!" |
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02-12-2003, 08:31 PM
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#54 |
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The Redneck Elf
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: In a house
Posts: 539
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LOL!
This is all too funny.
Sorry,I cant think of any right now. These are great. (haha Jennifer I have found you again *really evil laugh*)
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Oliphants make great pets. |
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02-13-2003, 03:24 PM
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#55 |
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Elf Lord of the Grey Havens
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: somewhere else
Posts: 2,381
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Samwise Hello, I wish to register a complaint...Hello? Miss?
Snaga What do you mean, miss? Samwise Oh I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint! Snaga Sorry, we're closing for lunch. Samwise Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Hobbit what I rescued not half an hour ago from this very tower. Snaga Oh yes, the, the Perrinath Blue. What's wrong with it? Samwise I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it! Snaga No, no, it's resting, look! Samwise Look my lad, I know a dead Hobbit when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. Snaga No no sir. it's not dead. It's resting! Samwise Resting? Snaga Yeah, remarkable creature, the Perrinath Blue, beautiful hair, innit? Samwise The plumage don't enter into it - it's stone dead. Snaga No, no - it's just resting! Samwise All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouts into cage) Hello Frodo! I've got a nice piece of lembas for you when you wake up, Frodo Hobbit! Snaga (jogging the cage) There, it moved! Samwise No, he didn't. That was you pushing the cage! Snaga I did not. Samwise Yes, you did! (takes Hobbit out of cage, shouts) Hello Frodo, Frodo (bangs it against the counter) Frodo Hobbit, wake up. Frodo. (throws it in the air and lets it fall to the floor) Now that's what I call a dead Hobbit. Snaga No, no. It's stunned. Samwise Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That Hobbit is definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long walk. Snaga It's probably pining for the Shire. Samwise Pining for the Shire, what kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it outside? Snaga The Perrinath Blue prefers kipping on it's back! Beautiful creature, lovely hair! Samwise Look, I took the liberty of examining that Hobbit, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting in its cell in the first place was that it had been nailed there. Snaga Well of course it was nailed there. Otherwise it would muscle up to those bars and voom. Samwise Look matey (picks up the Hobbit) this Hobbit wouldn't voom if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised! Snaga It's not, it's pining! Samwise It's not pining, it's passed on. This Hobbit is no more! It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet Eru.This is a late Hobbit. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the cell wall it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-Hobbit. Snaga Well, I'd better replace it, then. Samwise (to camera) If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth. Snaga Sorry guv, we're right out of Hobbits. Samwise I see. I see. I get the picture. Snaga (pause) I got a Warg. Samwise Does it talk? Snaga Not really, no. Samwise Well, it's scarcely a replacement, then is it? Snaga Listen, I'll tell you what, (handing over a card) tell you what, if you go to Sauron's shop in Lugburz he'll replace your Hobbit for you. Samwise Lugburz eh? Snaga Yeah. Samwise All right.
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There exists a limit to the force even ther most powerful may apply without destroying themselves. Judging this limit is the true artistry of government. Misuse of power is the fatal sin. The law cannot be a tool of vengance, never a hostage, nor a fortification against the martyrs it has created. You cannot threaten any individual and escape the consequences. -Muad'dib on Law The Stilgar Commentary Last edited by Cirdan : 02-13-2003 at 03:29 PM. |
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02-13-2003, 03:29 PM
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#56 |
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The Buddy Rabbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Trapped in the headlights..
Posts: 3,372
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ROFLMFAO!!!........BRILLIANT!!
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02-13-2003, 03:35 PM
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#57 |
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Long lost mooter
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,342
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That was great, Cirdan! I love that sketch.
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02-13-2003, 03:35 PM
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#58 |
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Quasi Evil
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland, US
Posts: 4,634
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*clapping* fantastic! pining for the shire. *laugh* thats definitely an A+ right there.
__________________
"People's political beliefs don't stem from the factual information they've acquired. Far more the facts people choose to believe are the product of their political beliefs." "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." |
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02-13-2003, 03:49 PM
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#59 |
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Elf Lord of the Grey Havens
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: somewhere else
Posts: 2,381
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Frodo Morning
Galadriel Morning Frodo What have you got, then? Galadriel Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and Lembas; egg, bacon and Lembas; egg, bacon, sausage and Lembas; Lembas, bacon, sausage and Lembas; Lembas, egg, Lembas, Lembas, bacon and Lembas; Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, egg and Lembas; Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, baked beans, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas and Lembas; or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Lembas. Sam Have you got anything without Lembas in it? Galadriel Well, there's Lembas egg sausage and Lembas, that's not got much Lembas in it. Sam I don't want ANY Lembas! Frodo Why can't he have egg, bacon, Lembas and sausage? Sam That's got Lembas in it! Frodo Not as much as Lembas, egg, sausage and Lembas. Sam Look, could I have egg, bacon, Lembas and sausage without the Lembas. Galadriel Uuuuuuggggh! Sam What d'you mean uuugggh! I don't like Lembas Teleris (singing) Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas ... Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas ... lovely Lembas, wonderful Lembas ... Brief stock shot of a Teleri ship. Galadriel Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! You can't have egg, bacon, Lembas and sausage without the Lembas. Sam Why not! Galadriel No, it wouldn't be egg, bacon, Lembas and sausage, would it. Sam I don't like Lembas! Frodo Don't make a fuss, dear. I'll have your Lembas. I love it. I'm having Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas ... Teleris (singing) Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas ... Frodo ... baked beans, Lembas, Lembas and Lembas. Galadriel Baked beans are off. Frodo Well can I have Lembas instead? Galadriel You mean Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas? Teleris (still singing) Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas ... (etc.) Frodo Yes. Galadriel Arrggh! Teleris .. . lovely Lembas, wonderful, Lembas. Galadriel Shut up! Shut up! The Teleris shut up momentarily. Enter the Sindarin. Sindarin Great boobies, ninnyhammer, my lower intestine is full of Lembas, egg, Lembas, bacon, Lembas, tomato, Lembas ... Teleris (starting up again) Lembas, Lembas, Lembas, Lembas ... Galadriel Shut up
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There exists a limit to the force even ther most powerful may apply without destroying themselves. Judging this limit is the true artistry of government. Misuse of power is the fatal sin. The law cannot be a tool of vengance, never a hostage, nor a fortification against the martyrs it has created. You cannot threaten any individual and escape the consequences. -Muad'dib on Law The Stilgar Commentary Last edited by Cirdan : 02-13-2003 at 03:52 PM. |
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02-13-2003, 03:53 PM
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#60 |
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The Buddy Rabbit
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Trapped in the headlights..
Posts: 3,372
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*can't type.......tears running down face*
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