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Old 10-05-2002, 11:04 PM   #21
Nazgûl Queen
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*meanwhile, back at the lair*

GeneralNazgulwort: *walking in front of the army of MiniNazgul* You will fight. You will kill. And you will be back in time for supper. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!

MiniNazgul: Sir, yes sir!

MiniNazgul105: Excuse me, sir?

GeneralNazgulwort: What do you want?

MN105: What's for supper?

GeneralNazgulwort: You, if you don't follow instructions!

MN105: *gulp*

GeneralNazgulwort: Apple Crumble and icecream, but only when the enemy is defeated! Mount up!

*MiniNazgul get onto the backs of their Evil Black Mice with red Eyes and Poisoned Teeth and Fangs*

GeneralNazgulwort: Weapons out!

*a multitude of poisoned mithril toothpicks and letter openers are collected by the forces, while others pull along a catapault with Red Berries*

GeneralNazgulwort: CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!

*the MiniNazgul gallop into the fray, throwing their toothpicks at the enemies who promptly fall to the ground dead from poison.*

GeneralNazgulwort: FIRE THE BERRIES!!!!!!!

*with a roaring sound, hundreds of red berries fly into the air from the catapaults. The acidity of each is so high that they start to make hollows in the ground, making the enemies trip over*

NQ: *watching from above on the back of her black-bird-dragon-thingey* The battle is going well. *flies in search of HumanPi*
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The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death.

Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal...
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Old 10-05-2002, 11:57 PM   #22
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But just then *gasp* another penguin shows up! It attaches itself to DO, and this one, being abit smarter than the last, did not eat rice before hand.

Human: Wah ha ha ha!
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Old 10-06-2002, 11:23 PM   #23
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Tanoliel, in bird form, perches on a high tree overlooking a battlefield. "Ooh....chaos, panic and mass confusion....looks like I was here before, doesn't it?" She jumps off and swoops low, scouting out the battle. "I think I'll join...WHO IS ANY SORT OF LEADER AROUND HERE?" she yells.
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Old 10-07-2002, 04:41 PM   #24
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*Just then Sauronkatt (pronounced Sour-on-cat)*
Tano: Oy! You! The mist, fog,... thing!
Sauronkatt: Yess?
Tano: Who is a leader around here?
SK: Well, the organizer of us all is HumanPi.
Tano: Pie?
SK: No, pi. As in 3.141592653. You know. As in Pi times radius squared.
Tano: oh
SK: Any way, Human is in charge of all his allies who are Saurokatt (my alter ego, pronounced sar-oo-cat), Willow, Nazgul Queen, Dolenloteiel, Claenoic, and some balrog person.
GB: What?
SK: nothing. So anyway, we are all going to divide up Middle Earth and Human is going to rule us all while we all rule parts.
Tano: Ooh goodie. What fun.
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Old 10-07-2002, 05:35 PM   #25
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DO Ouch my head hurts! *see's human* How goes the battle?

Human SPOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what??

DO Never mind Ouch! Another penguin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-07-2002, 06:11 PM   #26
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Meanwhile back in Rivindell...

Saurooooookatt (coming up behind Elrond): Hey! What's that? Behind you!

(Abajo de Magdalena con el frying pan)

(While Elrond's head was turned away from her Willow pulled out a small frying pan and swung it at the back of his head. It connected and down went the elven lord.)

Willow: Come on Katt, help me drag him back to base before his family starts to wonder where he is.

Katt: Mwahaha...
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Old 10-07-2002, 09:48 PM   #27
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OOC: Wait! How did Katt get from Dale to Imladris? There must be a teleporter that I don't know about....
OOC2: Tano! I said "Mier!" last year! But since you were the first to attach it to the the penguins in the TLA Thread, you can CP if you want...not that I'll respect it, but if it makes you feel better about it...

There is a brief respite in the carry ons of battle. Natuarlly, there has been heavy Penguin casualities, but the Squirrels, Mini-nazgul, Balgrogs, Katnunzillas, Pink Bunnies, Uruki and sundry others seem to have been doing fine. The battle seemed to be their's! Already the Ealges had fled, and The Dwarven army was calling a treat.
Soon, the Men of dale and Elven armies called for a surrender. The Lands of Mirkwood were turned over to the governing of Dolenloteiel, and the lands of Dale and there abouts Dale were told to sit tight 'til some one came to claim them.

Human: Yeah! That went rather well!

That night in the Lonely Mountain, A great feast was held for the Generals of the armies. Tasty Vegan items were to be severed along with delicous wines and hearty wheat crackers.

*Every one sits at a really big table*

Human: I want to welcome you to the base of Operations for what will be called "Project: Necrotizing Fasciitis," our plan to conquor Middle earth! I hope to keep this on the surface do as little damage as possible, though when we get to Moria and other such under ground places, other tacitics may be needed. We'll call those "Project: Necrotizing Myositis." Places that have already been taken will be refered to as "A Streptococcal Infected areas," the armies as "portiens" and ememy armies as "penicillin." Thus will we be able to send communications with out any one having th slightest idea of what we are talking about. All clear?

All: Er?

Human: Right! *sits*
*In troop penguins with afore mentioned goodies. Mini-nazgul come out bearing wine glasses. They set a wine glass in front of each person peresnt.*

Human: *thining* Wait...I thought that the penguins would be doing all the serving tonight...perhaps Queen has poisoned my cup! The Mini-nazgul gave me a funny look...What to do?
*Light bulb appears over Human's head*
*thinking* I'll switch cups with some one else!

Katt: What's that light bulb all about?

Human: *nervously* What this?? Oh it's nothing! Really...I was just ah...think up a new stratagey for the up coming battles. You know...the world is ripe for the taking sort of thing...wa ha ha ha!

Katt: Right.

*Human switches cups with Tano who sits to my right*

Tano: *Thinking* Wow...that's an interesting spot on the wall...Aur? The wine in my cup is sloshing! Some one must have put something in my drink! Maybe poison! What to do?

*Tano switches cups with Human*

Human: *thinking* AGH! She just switch it back! She's a clever one that...maybe she poisoned it...

*Human switches cups with Claenoic who sits to my left*
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Old 10-07-2002, 10:11 PM   #28
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~Prior to the Celebration~

NQ: *whispering* Alright, MiniNazgul, it's all in your hands now. You know what to do.

MiniNazgul: Yes, your highness. We shall serve the wine tonight.

NQ: The best way to start the celebration, serving the best wine in Middleearth to all my allies.... while managing to create confusion at the same time...

MiniNazgul: Your highness?

NQ: Never mind, Jane. Go an inform the others.

MiniNazgul: *bows and leaves*

NQ: *chuckles*

~At the Celebration~

NQ: *watching HumanPi switch cups* It's all going according to plan...

Katt: *sitting next to her* What was that?

NQ: Oh, nothing....

Katt: You should know better. NOONE has evil plans without my knowledge!!!

NQ: Well, if you insist... *whispers in katts ear*

Katt: I see... *raises her glass* Here's to the alliance of Angmar and Mordor, forever terrorising all of Middleearth!

NQ: Hear, hear!!! *raises glass*

HumanPi: Hear what?

NQ: What?

HumanPi: I said, hear what?

NQ: Ummmmmmmm.... hear what I have to say!

HumanPi: Which is...

NQ: I propose a toast to our rulership of Middleearth!

*everyone raises their glasses of NazgulWine, HumanPi looking exceedingly nervous*

NQ: *under her breath* This is going to be fun...
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Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor
Mistress of the Night

The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death.

Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal...
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Old 10-08-2002, 12:23 AM   #29
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Human: Yes er...um! Um! Um! Er...here's to us! There are &%69# few like us and they're all dead!

*Is about to take drink*

What the Hell is that?!

*Awkwardly switches cups with NQ*

OOC: The toast, besides the ums, is an old Scottish taost. Or so I've been told...
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Old 10-08-2002, 01:31 AM   #30
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NQ: *recieving HumanPi's glass* Don't you appreciate good wine? This is the finest in all middleearth *drinks it*

HumanPi: So you're not trying to poison me?

NQ: Now why would i do that? *innocent smile*

HumanPi: *looks scared and thinks 'at least her glass is BOUND to be safe*

NQ: *chuckles*

HumanPi: *drinks from NQs glass then spits it out. She then proceeds to drink a few glasses of water to try and clean out her mouth* What WAS that?

NQ: That, my friend, is the blood of Orcs. Very good for increasing ones strength and evilness.

HumanPi: *goes green* I JUST DRANK ORC-BLOOD?!!!!

NQ: Yes, and the highest quality stuff on the market!

HumanPi: *runs to the nearest bathroom*

Katt: Is that really orc-blood?

NQ: Yes, would you like some?

Katt: I'd love to!!! Do you have any of shelob's?

NQ: I'm keeping that for later... *sends a MiniNazgul to get Katt a cup of Orc Blood*

Katt: Isn't it wonderful being evil!?
NQ: I'll second THAT!!!
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Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor
Mistress of the Night

The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death.

Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal...
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Old 10-08-2002, 01:55 PM   #31
Katt_knome_hobbit
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OOC: Human, Katt is the embodiement of both Sauronkatt (Sour on katt) and Saurokatt (Sar oo katt). Sauronkatt was at the Dale, Saurokatt was at Imladris. Or something like that.

OOC2: Ooh! Ork Blood! Can I get poisned?

*Human gets another glass of wine from mini nazgul. Human is sure this one is poisioned so she/he stands up to make an announcement.*

Human: I have an announcement. Katt has now become my royal food taster. *Gives glass to Katt* Cheers.

Katt: *Drains Glass and Clutches Stomach.* Oh no, not again. *Dies*

Human: Ha HA! *Points at NQ* I knew of your plot to poision me! Now it has been foiled. You are accused of mutiny and murder of Katt!

Katt: I'm not dead yet!

Human: Course you are, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

Katt: No really, I'm not dead. I'm a goddess.

Human: Oh. Well. Nazgul Queen is still accused of mutiny.

OOC: Ooh goodie. I died again.
__________________
How to Survive the Sillmarillion

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do.
I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze.
But now I know that there's a time and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self control and self abuse.


"Lacerations make complications, but welts go away in a day."
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Old 10-08-2002, 07:08 PM   #32
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DO NOOOOO Squirrels attack the penguin, it dies.

CELEBRATION


*watching the switching w/ interest*

DO ewww Orc Blood!!!

*very confused right now*
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Old 10-08-2002, 07:44 PM   #33
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Tano: *is looking about interestedly* What a bizarre group of people....I suppose I fit right in. *snaps fingers, and Drake, the MiniDragon leader, appears*
Drake: Yez?
Tano: I'd like a few of Uncle Lucifer's Triple Chocolate Devil Cake, if you please.
Drake: Right on it, Mistress...
*a few moments later*
Drake: Oof! Here! *drops three large Devil Cakes onto the table*
Katt: Cake?
NQ: Chocolate?
HumanPi: Chocolate cake?
Everyone: Yum! *dives in*
Human Pi: WAIT! What if it's poisoned?
Tano: *rolls eyes, grabs piece of cake, and stuffs it in her mouth* See? Still good. Yep. Still good. Have some cake.
Katt: Score! Some cake!

ooc: Yeah, "There are damn few like us and they're all dead" is indeed an old Scottish toast.
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Food Of The Gods:
3,7-dihydro-3,7-dimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione

Feed Me....

Another Online Dwelling Place...

"All right, I confess. It is my intention to comandeer a ship, pick up a crew in Tortuga, to rape, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out." -Captain Jack Sparrow

"The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify." -Amelia Peabody Emerson

"Most people obey the orders of someone who is pointing a gun at their head." -A.P. Emerson

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Old 10-08-2002, 08:51 PM   #34
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Human: *pointing finger at NQ* You're a...*tries to correctly conjugate "munity" into a noun* A...a...MUTANT!

DO: What? *more confused than before*

Human: *Stepping over the most nearly dead body of Katt* You mutant!

Katt: I think I'm getting better...I-I feel fine!

Human: You're not fooling anyone.

Katt: I think I'll go for a walk!

Human: You're not going any where.

Katt: No I really think I'm going to pull through...

Human: Shaddap! *Pause* now where was I...?

DO: *frustrated, standing* You were calling NQ a mutant for no apperent reason!

Human: I was?

DO: YES!

Human: *suspciously eyeing DO* I don't remember that...

DO: *sitting back down head in hands* I think I'm going to cry...

NQ: HAVE AT YOU!!! *Grabs piece of chocalate cake and flings it into Human's face*

Human: Gasp! You fiend! *swipes spoon up form table and holds it over head* SPOON! SPOON!

*Human uses spoon to as a catapult for bits of Fofu, (for the Tofu intolerent) at NQ*
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Old 10-08-2002, 08:56 PM   #35
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(as all the confusions with the cups is going on a small hooded figure in the corner is watching it all with an evil smile on what little can be seen of it's face.)

Anonymus person (in a whisper): There are indeed damn few people like me in this world and they will soon be very very dead, thanks to my little friend here.

(It fingers a small vial lovingly and slips it into its pocket before exiting the mountain through the small and easily forgotten side door.)


OOC: Mwahahaha!!!!!! None shall escape this new evil. Who is the poisoner and where is it from? None shall guess!!!
__________________
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Avoid these like the PLAGUE.
-Diana Wynne Jones
Tough Guide To FantasyLand

...it's not much of a show if somebody doesn't suffer, and preferably at length. Suffering is beautiful in any case, and so is anguish; but as for loathing, and bitterness... I don't think they belong on the stage at all.

- Isabella, I Gelosi
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Old 10-09-2002, 05:57 PM   #36
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OOC: Willow, you told me who it is was! But for the sake of being prevse, I'm not going to tell. Hee hee!
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Old 10-09-2002, 06:05 PM   #37
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DO HIT THE DEEEEEEEEECK!!!! *as chocolate cake comes whizzing by*

Human Die you MUTANT!!! SPOON SPOON!!!!

DO I'm getting out of here!!! *crawling towards the door dodging tofu and chocolate cake* Squirrel General!!!!

SG *jumps from a lantern* yes, m'lady??

DO gather the troops, we're going to Lorien!!! AAAA * as tofu hits her head*

Human SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! MWAHAHAHA

Katt IT'S OK!!!! I'M FINE!! AAAA *as chocolate cake knocks her off her feet*

Human SHUT UP!!!!!

NQ RUTHLESS TYRANT!!!!
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Old 10-09-2002, 11:38 PM   #38
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Tanoliel: *jumps up and hangs off the chandelier* (ooc: What, there wasn't one? Er. There is now)
Human: SPOOOOOOON! MUTANT! SPOOOOOON!
Tano: I think it's mutineer, but I'm not sure--*ducks as cake goes whizzing past* Wow. Bad aim, Pie.

-tano
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Food Of The Gods:
3,7-dihydro-3,7-dimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione

Feed Me....

Another Online Dwelling Place...

"All right, I confess. It is my intention to comandeer a ship, pick up a crew in Tortuga, to rape, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out." -Captain Jack Sparrow

"The trouble with unknown enemies is that they are so difficult to identify." -Amelia Peabody Emerson

"Most people obey the orders of someone who is pointing a gun at their head." -A.P. Emerson

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Old 10-10-2002, 12:05 AM   #39
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NQ: *looks up and sees the Chandelier* i advise you to get down, if i were you...

Tano: Why?

NQ: Just get down so I don't hurt you...

HumanPi: MUTANT!!!!!!

NQ: I am NOT a MUTANT!!!!!!!!

HumanPi: MUTANT!!!!!

NQ: *eyes glow red* You'll regret the day you did not do all that the nazgul Queen asked of you!!!!!!!

*cackles evilly and the Chandelier starts to rock back and forth. Tano jumps of it and lands in the bowl of punch, and the chandelier falls to the ground, smashing in front of Human's feet. Everyone cowers in the darkness until Tano lights a torch.*

Tano: What was that?

NQ: *eyes still red* The Queeeeeen of the Nazgul is here, inside your minds...

Tano: *throws the punch at her* Snap out of it!!!

NQ: Oh... what???

HumanPi: How... did... you... do... that???

NQ: I warned you not to anger me... we Phantom Phans have our powers...

HumanPi: You're even more of a Mutant than I thought!

NQ: I advise you to comply, my instructions should be clear. Remember, there are worse things than a shattered chandelier...

HumanPi: *glares daggers*

NQ: *glares daggers*

Both: OUCH! THAT HURT!!!

Tano: Will you two break it up? We're supposed to be allies.

NQ: Oh alright... only if she accepts that i am not a mutant!

HumanPi: If I must... I'm sorry for calling you a mutant

NQ: Apology accepted

*they shake hands*

NQ: Now, off to control Middleearth!

Everyone: YEAH!!!
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Morauko Umrien, Queen of the Nazgûl and Lady of Mordor
Mistress of the Night

The Nazgûl Queen she was, the Ringwraith, the enemy's most terrible servant; darkness went with her and she cried with the voices of death.

Can be found loitering at Fantasy Essentials or her livejournal...
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Old 10-10-2002, 05:33 PM   #40
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DO *ducks into the shadows as everyone rushed out the door. Surveys the scene.* Hmmmmmmmm... It's working! Everyone is turning on each other!! Soon I will be the ultimate ruler!! hahahahaha

Human What r u doing??

Do just practicing my...er...evil laugh!! ha-ha.....

Human We're leaving!! Let's go
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Is Middle Earth worth fighting for? It seems empty and abandoned to me Dark Lord Sauron Middle Earth 18 12-21-2002 02:48 PM
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