What would you do? heh heh heh . . .

[Rána Eressëa]

(The Company makes their way through many aisles through the Shopping Mall when they unknowingly come upon the Women's Restroom and walk in.)

Wayfarer: What in the world is this?
Rogue Elf: Ooh...a soft, cushiony couch--
Jerseydevil: [holds on to Rogue Elf] Don't even think about it.
Frodo #3: But Dad!
Jerseydevil: No "buts" about it!
Aldesign: Okay, from now on, you two may not both call him Dad. It's just too freaky... [shivers]
Rogue Elf: I need someone to cuddle with...
Frodo #3: Me, too...
Jerseydevil: What did I just say?!
Wayfarer: You know, Jerseydevil, I don't think moving them into the same house is going to solve the problem...
FF: I feel like cuddling too...
Frodo #1: I'll cuddle with you, FrodoFriend...
Sam: Hmm...I need someone to cuddle with too...
Frodo #2: Sam, I'll cuddle with you...
Aldesign: [sighs] I feel like cuddling too--
Churl: What's up with all this cuddling?! Cut it out or I'll cut off someone's head!

(Everyone grows silent.)

Jerseydevil: Hey! They're cuddling!
Churl: RRRRRRAAAHHHHHH!!!! [swings his axe]
Horse: NEEEIGGGHHH!!!

(The Horse falls headless and dead to the restroom floor.)

Wayfarer: Good hack, Churl.
Churl: Ah, but my axe is still restless in my hand!
Jerseydevil: Why are you carrying an axe in a shopping mall?
Churl: Oh, so you can shoot someone in the head, but chopping it off is against the law!!! What has the world come to?!

(Silence.)

Tesseract: AI! AI!
Aldesign: You should've swung harder, Wayfarer...
Wayfarer: Must you rub it in?
Churl: What is it, Tesseract?!
Tesseract: AI! AI! Brollum is here! Brollum is here!

(Everyone gasps!)

Churl: Where?! Where?! I'll have his no good, cross-dressing, Mary Kay painted head!
Tesseract: Here! Here! In the third stall!

(Everyone rushes up to the third stall. Sure enough, there's Brollum.)

Brollum: EEK!!! I didn't takess it!!! I swear! I only tries it on!! I not shop-liftss it!!!
Aldesign: Ooh...that'd look beautiful on you, Liv...
Liv: Yes, I know. [smiles at herself]
Wayfarer: Cursed little fiend! You're behind all this, aren't you?!
Brollum: No! No! Wings of the Eye! She watches over everything! She knows all that goes on!!! She sees, she knows!!!
Rogue Elf: [squeals] AH! Frodo #3, she knows where our ta--
Frodo #3: [covers up Rogue Elf's mouth]
Rogue Elf: [sighs dreamily and faints]
FrodoFriend: Oh, great, did you have to do that?
Frodo #3: It's not my fault!
Tesseract: AI! AI! I don't understand! What's a "ta"?!
Wayfarer: Would you please SHUT UP FOR ONCE!!!
Tesseract: AI! AI! Screw you, Wayfarer! [flips him off]

(Everyone gasps!)

Sam: Wow. You were right, Jerseydevil...

[jerseydevil]

The Fellowship seems to be splintering here. Can it be saved? Is FrodoFriend going to take Frodo #1 and leave? What is Rogue Elf's plans with Frodo #3?

I hope it can be saved - the thread is too cool to let die.

[Rána Eressëa]

Originally posted by Feraway Hawkbriar
... Cant any other chicas here just be happy looking at EW glorious facial features without getting horny?... ah well, ..while all other lucky teens experience super freakishly high sex drives, I go on not following instincts properly. I dont think any of that made sense.

*sighs heavily* Now I have to be serious again when being stupid is so much more fun...

It's all a FICTIONAL story. Keyword: FICTIONAL. FICTIONAL, I TELL YOU, FICTIONAL! Time to state the facts: I'm not horny, but I do really have a thing for Elijah. And most importantly of all...

I'M WRITING THIS BECAUSE I THINK IT SOUNDS FUNNY.

I hope that explains things. Okay? I don't want to sound all ferocious and mad so I'll put a smiley face on the end

[Rána Eressëa]

The Messageboardship isn't splintering! They're merely facing and ocvercoming differences, that's all!

[jerseydevil]

Hey - I demand to know where Eowyn is.

And I'm glad the Messageboardship isn't splintering apart.

[Rána Eressëa]

If I told you where Eowyn is, it would ruin the entire plot twist! Uh...oops.

[Rána Eressëa]

I'm going to bed now.

[Churl]

What's "splintering apart" is my MSN Messenger: it notifies me every time there's an update to the threads I've posted to … and this sucker's generating a response every few minutes!

Onward to wackiness!

[Rána Eressëa]

(Wayfarer stares wide-eyed at Tesseract. Suddenly he bows his head.)

Wayfarer: I have underestimated you, Tesseract. Please, forgive me for all that I've ever done or said to you! Thenceforward, we shall be friends...
Tesseract: Now that's more like it. Just because I may seem all giddy and annoying doesn't mean I really am. I mean, come on! At least let me finish my sentences from now on! Then I won't sound so annoying!
Churl: That's my Elf! Come on, everyone! Let's get out of this wretched cave and--
Aldesign: Churl...it's a restroom.
Churl: LOOK! JUST BECAUSE I SAID--
Aldesign: NO!!!
Wayfarer: The disease has spread!!!
Frodo #1: We must flee!!!
Churl: NOW, JUST BECAUSE--
Frodo #2: We must get out or we shall all perish!!!
Sam: Everyone run!!!
Churl: JUST BECAUSE--
FrodoFriend: The door's locked!!!
Frodo #3: You have to pull it, not push it!!!
Tesseract: WOULD EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET CHURL FINISH HIS #%^$@* SENTENCE?!?!

(Everyone instantly shuts up.)

Tesseract: [nods] Go on, Churl.
Churl: Thank you, dear friend. As I was saying, just because I said cave doesn't mean I actually meant "cave". I miss the glorious mountains! I use the word "cave" often to refer to places. It is where I dwelled in Middle-Earth before I came here. Caves are what I know best... [sighs] ...so let us leave this wretched "cave" and find out what's going on.

(Everyone sniffles.)

Sam & FrodoFriend: That was beautiful...
Rogue Elf: Yeah... [sniffs] ...I've never heard such a speech for a long time...

(Everyone gasps!)

Wayfarer: You're awake!
Rogue Elf: Duh. You know, every time I faint, I'm faking it. I can't believe no one's caught on so far... [sighs]
Frodo #3: You should faint more often. I like catching you. [smiles]
Sam & FrodoFriend: Ohh...that's sooooo sweet... [hug their own Frodos]
Rogue Elf: You know, this story's getting too sentimental. Let's get out before people start weeping.

(Everyone scrambles out of the restroom. Once outside, they realize they left Brollum inside.)

Jerseydevil: Oops. We left Brollum inside.
Wayfarer: Well...go get him.
Jerseydevil: Hey! I have two adopted kids that try getting freaky-deaky every chance they get--
Rogue Elf & Frodo #3: We resent that!
Jerseydevil: --and my responsibility is to watch after them! You go get Brollum!
Wayfarer: [huffs] You're no fun anymore. [stalks into the bathroom after Brollum]

(After Wayfarer comes out dragging Brollum by his earring, everyone continues journeying through the Shopping Mall. They see a glimmering shine up ahead, and suddenly freeze.)

Aldesign: [brandishes his sword] Who goes there?!
Churl: A sword?! You brought a sword in a shopping mall?! [smacks Aldesign upside the back of the head] What's wrong with you?!
Rogue Elf: [sighs] It seems that's contagious, too...
Frodo #3: You're cute when you sigh...
Rogue Elf: Really?! [sighs]
Frodo #3: Maybe we--
Jerseydevil: No, no, no, NO! Quit it! Quit it! QUIT IT! Sheesh! What's wrong with you?!
Rogue Elf: Would people stop stealing my friggin' line, dammit!
Aldesign: [drops his sword to his side] You know, this is getting really unbearable. Let's start from the beginning--
FrodoFriend: Ack! Right when I kidnapped Elijah! Do you know how long ago that was?!
Aldesign: OH, SHUT UP! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!

(The glimmering light is now right in front of them. Everyone turns to look at it at and gasps!)

Hugo: Oh, thank you! I didn't know it was that beautiful of a Spoon!
Wayfarer: Hugo Weaving! It's you!
Hugo: Why, yes, of course it is.
Aldesign: Wait...why aren't you laughing?
Hugo: Why would I be laughing.......Mr. Annddeerrsson??
Aldesign: [blinks] My name isn't Mr. Anderson.
Hugo: Oh, take all the fun out of it, will you?!
Churl: What are you doing here?
Hugo: Picking out my new magical Spoon. Isn't it beautiful?
Tesseract: Can I touch it?
Hugo: NO! It's my special Spoon! No one touches my special Spoon!
Churl: Ain't no need to get defensive, now, Hugo...
Hugo: Oh, sorry. Anyways, Galadriel wandered off to find the bird baths and I've lost her. Would you all mind helping me?
Wayfarer: Not at all! Follow me! I know where bird baths are! Bought one last week...

(Everyone follows Wayfarer to a jungle-looking place, and they all glance around with the light of Wayfarer's staff. They soon spot Galadriel and Martha chatting at a silver bird bath.)

Hugo: Galadriel! Darling, I've found you!
Wayfarer: Martha! Darling! I've found you!
Galadriel: Oh, Hugo, how sweet of you to come looking for me!
Martha: Apologize, Wayfarer, or I'll never speak to you again.
Wayfarer: I'm sorry, honey-bunchin... [makes smootchy sounds]
Martha: Oh, you tiger-- [grabs Wayfarer and kisses him]
Jerseydevil: Dear Eru in Valinor! This is hideous! Don't look children! [pulls Rogue Elf & Frodo #3 in his arms to cover their faces]
Liv: [sighs] This is so romantic...kiss me, Aldesign!
Aldesign: You got it, babe... [grabs Liv and romantically slow kisses her]
Churl: Aye, Tesseract... [shakes head] ...you and me need women...
Tesseract: [blinks] What're they for?
Sam & Frodo #2: [hug and smooch each other]
FrodoFriend & Frodo #1: [hug and smooch each other]
Rogue Elf: Eru, what is up with all this smooching! Cut it out!
Frodo #3: It's punishment! I can't stand it! I must be with you, Rogue Elf! [struggles to get to Rogue Elf]
Rogue Elf: Take my hand, Frodo!
Frodo #3: I've got you, Rogue Elf! Don't let go!
Rogue Elf: I'll never let go, Frodo, I'll never let go!
Jerseydevil: AAHHH!!! QUIT IT!!! JUST FRIGGIN' QUIT IT!!!

(Everyone stops what they doing and grow silent.)

Jerseydevil: May we please finish this Eru-forsaken thing and figure out what the hell is going ON?!

(Everyone grumbles and untangles from each other's arms, then as Jerseydevil said, went on to finish this Eru-forsaken thing and find out what was going on. Jerseydevil lifts the little Rogue Elf & Frodo #3 on his shoulders to keep them fairly away from each other, and everyone trudges together in pairs.)

Sam: Hey, Jerseydevil...where's Eowyn?
Jerseydevil: She's at home cooking a fabulous dinner...well, I'm not late yet, and if we get out of here within one hour I'll be on time.
Rogue Elf: Ohh...that's so sweet. You know, I think me and Frodo #3 with really enjoy living in your house...eating your food...sleeping on your blankets...and...whenever we have nightmares...we can come jump in bed with Mommy & Daddy!!!
Jerseydevil: [eyes widen in horror] Ummm...you know...maybe--

(Giggling can be heard somewhere around them. Everyone freezes.)

Churl: Where's Brollum?
Brollum: Rightss here!
Churl: [looks to see Wayfarer still holding onto Brollum's earring] Oh, okay. Then who's laughing??

(Giggling. GIGGLING. GIGGLING, I said!)

Churl: Fine! Then who's giggling?

(A dark shadow runs in front of them and disappears. Aldesign pulls out his sword. Churl lifts his axe. Wayfarer grips his staff. Hugo holds out his Spoon. Tesseract aims his bow.)

Aldesign: Bow? BOW?! You had a bow with you the whole time?! Where've you been hiding it?
Tesseract: I don't know... [looks puzzled] ...it just appeared in my hand...

(Why are you people ruining the story? Just pretend you've always had it!)

Tesseract: [shrugs] You heard her. [pulls back on his arrow]

(The dark shadow leaps across the ground. Everyone gasps with horror!)

Tesseract: AI! AI! It's another Balrog!
Wayfarer: Oh, no. Don't you dare try putting this one on me!!!
Evil Voice: Oh, I don't look that hideous, do I? [inane laughter]
Tesseract: AI! AI! I know that voice! Who are you?!

(Suddenly, the dark shadow leaps towards them and lands right in front of Tesseract. The dark, evil figure cocks its evil head evilly to the left and smiles evilly.)

Elijah Wood: Hello, Tesseract.
RE, FF, & Sam: Oh my Eru!!! It's Elijah Wood!!!
Elijah: [pulls out evil sword and hacks Tesseract's bow evilly to bits]
Churl: [charges at Elijah with his axe]
Elijah: [twirls around evilly with an evil look in his eyes and slashes the axe evilly into two pieces with his evil sword]
Churl: You evil bastard!
Elijah: You catch on quick. [evilly thrusts the evil hilt of his evil sword into Churl's head, evilly knocking him out]

(Everyone then charges at Elijah, but he manages in the end to knock everyone of them out cold. Is this the end? Will we ever find out what happens next? Will our heroes perish in the hands of a sweet boy gone sour? All in the next episode...)

P.S. -- Eowyn's part is about to be revealed...

[Gerbil]

To the girls who claim they are never horny:

I pity your future boyfriends...

[aldesign]

just a note on the Horny thing
i am always horny (im a bloke though)


BTW girls and other Authors, im gonna edit this all down, and make a website for it, cos its sooo cool.
And we can get someone to do some illustraitions.

BTW im glad im with Mrs Tyler, she be fine
and ur story is dam good.



aldesign
aka
andy

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

I have a bunch of charecter sketches I made before the comic project had to be shelved. You may use those on your site if you want, as long as proper crdit is given to me as the artist (NOTE: this is one of the very RARE execptions to my no-other website hosts my pics rule).

Aah yes, of course guys are always horny. theres been a study done proving it.

[Wayfarer]

Are those character sketches up on your site, or what, Hawk?

And no, we're not. Well... some are... (Not Me!)


Elijah Wood LAUGHS EVILLY.
Elijah Wood continues LAUGHING EVILLY!
Elijah Wood IS STILL LAUGHING EVILLY!

Elijah LAUGHS EVILLY some more!

Rogue Elf: You know, that is REALLY annoying!
Frodo3: You're SOOO dreamy when you're mad!
RE GIGGLES.
Jersydevil: Hey! None of that, Kids!

Wayfarer lights his magic staff.
Wayfarer: Ok, where is that punk?

EW LAUGHS in a MANIACAL, EVIL, WAY!

Churl: Stop That! *Smack!*
Frodo#1: Hey! That was me!
Churl: Sorry...
Sam: Look, just because he...
Wayfarer: THAT"S ENOUGH!
Wayfarer smacks his staff on the ground. Light explodes from the end and illuminates the area...
Wayfarer: Now! Where is that evil creep?

EW LAUGHS EVILLY

Aldesign: Cut that out!
Aldesign smacks a EW look-alike...
Frodo Friend! Hey! That's my Frodo!
Frodo #2: Ouch!

EW LAUGHS SOME MORE EVILLY

All: Huh???

(Look... I'm doing the best I can... It's not like I can avoid being redundant with this nutzo doing the same thing over and over again!)

Wayfarer: Right... anyway! After him! Draw your weapons!
Wayfarer turns up the light on his staff...
Tesseract: AI! AI! If that thing gets much brighter we're all going to go blind!
Wayfarer: Good poing.
He turns down the light on his staff...
Wayfarer: Now! This way! Be on your guard, and draw your weapons!

The fellowship stands dumbly.

Wayfarer: Well?
Aldesign Hefts a broken sword.
Tesseract vainly attempts to string his splintered bow.
Churl looks forlornly at his half-axe.
Rogue Elf squirs some peach body lotion into her hand and steps up behind frodo #3.
Jersydevil seperates the two...
Wayfarer: Right then... it seems we have to do a little shopping!

He turns down an aisle... The rest of the Messageboardship follows him... After some time they come to a open area with a fountain. Several large holly trees jut suspisciously from the floor... Wayfarer stops in front of a security gate...

Wayfarer: Hmm...
He reads a screen attached to the wall "The door is locked... input the password"
Rogue Elf: What does that mean?
Wayfarer: It's very secret and mysterious. I'm not sure I want to tell you...
Rogue Elf Pouts and goes over to sit on the edge of the fountain.

Wayfarer scratches his beard, and smacks the door with his staff
Wayfarer :OPEN, STUPID DOOR!
Frodo #3; Is that a spell, Wayfarer?
Wayfarer: Shoo, hobbit! I'm busy!
Frodo #3 sulks and goes to sit with Rogue Elf...
Wayfarer taps on a keyboard for some time... at last he shouts"I have it!'
Wayfarer rips the panel from the wall, and shoves his stqaff into the wire s behind it. Lighet flares, and the gate swings open.
Wayfarer: When in doubt... blow something up! m Come on, everyone! We have to get Elijah!
He turns to see Rogue Elf and Frodo #3 rubbing each other with peach body lotion. A large dollup falls into the Fountain...
Aldesign is making out with Liv Tyler...
Jersydevil; What are you doing! STOP IT!
Tentacle #1 bursts fromt he water and grabs Frodo #3
Tesseract12 shouts AI! AI!
Tentacle #2 bursts fromt he water and grabs Frodo #1
Tentacle #3 bursts fromt he water and grabs Frodo #2
Jersydevil grabs frodo #3 from tentacke #1.
Aldesign is still making out with liv tyler...
Wayfarer kicks aldesign: Come on! This way!
The fellowship grabs Frodos # 2 and 3 and run through the door...
The tentacles smash the opening shut...
Wayfarer: Whew... that was close...

Tesseract: AI! AI!
Jersydevil: What were we doing again?

[Rána Eressëa]

(Apparently, Elijah didn't really knock them out. So now he runs up behind them and does it right this time. Everyone's all strewn out on the floor and Elijah LAUGHS EVILLY.)

Hours later...

(Everyone is beginning to slowly wake up. They all try moving, but find they're tied to a really thick pole. Curses and screams leap from their throats as they struggle to set themselves free...)

Tesseract: AI! AI! We're all going to die!
Wayfarer: This is hardly the time for rapping, Tesseract!
Tesseract: AI! AI! I'm not rapping! You lie!
Wayfarer: How is it he always finds a new way to annoy us?!
Churl: Tesseract, calm down and stop yelping! We must think of a way to escape!
Aldesign: Liv! Liv, are you alright?!
Liv: Yes...I...I think so...
FrodoFriend: Oh, we're all doomed!
Martha: This is posh cotton rope! Oh, how delightful. This kind doesn't leave marks...
Sam: You know, if it were possible, I'd strangle you with it.
Frodo #2: Wait...how would you know that, Martha?
Martha: Well, you see, me and Wayfarer--
Jerseydevil: NOOOO!!! NO, NO, NO! I BEG OF YOU! PLEASE, NO!
Frodo #1: [cough] What's that smell? [cough]

(Suddenly a grey smoke descends all around the Company. But, in a bright flash, all of it disappears.)

Frodo #3: Hey! Who did that?!
Galadriel: I did. There is no way in Mordor I'll stand being surrounded by nasty, smutty smoke!
Hugo: Eh heh heh heh heh...this is so amusing! [twitches]
Galadriel: Honey, Hugo...did you take your Ritalin?
Hugo: Ritalin? RITALIN? [twitches] Heh heh! What a funny word! [twitches]
Rogue Elf: Heeeyyy...what's this? [reaches down in the dark for something and pulls up a Nixon mask] Oh, look at what I found!
Jerseydevil: [snatches the Nixon mask from Rogue Elf and whacks her upside the head with it] What's wrong with you?!
Rogue Elf: [eyes mist over] Why's everyone yelling at me?!
Frodo #3: That's it, Jerseydevil! I've had it up to here with you! [tries reaching over to strangle JD]
Jerseydevil: [sticks out his tongue] Nah nah nah boo boo! I'm older than you-hoo...

(Suddenly Elijah Wood dives down from a plank above and lands on the floor Spiderman-style.)

Tesseract: AI! AI! Evil Elijah!
Aldesign: Dude...you need to seriously stop ripping off the cool movies...
Elijah: [walks up and snatches the Nixon mask from Jerseydevil] That's mine! [whacks JD upside the head with it]
Jerseydevil: OW! [rubs his head] I'll get you for that one, Elijah! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!
Elijah: Oooohh...I'm shaking in my boots.
Aldesign: "Scream"! "Scream"!
Tesseract: AAAAIIIIEEEEEE!!! AAAAAIIIIEEEEEE!!!
Aldesign: No, you idiot! I meant "Scream" the movie! He so stole Ghostface Killer's line!
Elijah: [stares evilly at Aldesign] You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?
Wayfarer: Ooh! Ooh! I know, I know! Robert Deniro!
Elijah: What's wrong with you?!
Tesseract: AI! AI! Rogue Elf! Rogue Elf!
Elijah: Would you QUIT IT?!?!
Churl: JERSEYDEVIL!!! JERSEYDEVIL!!!
Elijah: [growls] I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
Liv: Ooh, I know, JIM CARREY!!!

(Elijah lets out a blood-curling scream and stomps his foot on the floor causing everyone to jump. The veins are about to burst in his head as he grits his teeth, and RE, FF, & Sam stare in utter horror. Suddenly Elijah doesn't look so dreamy anymore...)

Sam: But our Frodos do... [sighs]
FrodoFriend: Yeah...they're so dreamy... [sighs]
Rogue Elf: And so cuddley... [sighs]
Elijah: You! [points at RE, FF, & Sam] I'm gonna deal with you first.
FrodoFriend: [blinks] But there's three of us...
Rogue Elf: ...and only one of you...
Sam: ...so wouldn't that be kinda hard?
Elijah: [screams] I can stand you three annoying, loudmouth, no-good, whiny, half-assed, obsessive-compulsive, horny, three-foot six-inched excuses for FEMALE TEENAGERS!!!
RE, FF, & Sam: [stare wide-eyed] Now that was uncalled for.
Elijah: Quick, my loyal servants! Feed these wretched hobbits to the monster! It's time for payback for all the nightmares you three put me through!

(Suddenly Gerbil runs onto the set and crashes into Elijah's back.)

Elijah: What the--
Gerbil: I heard something about a Nixon mask! Where's she at?! Christina!! CHRISTINA!!
Elijah: Who are you?
Gerbil: Ah! It's you, Elijah! You know...you look all "evil" and stuff...where's Christina?
Aldesign: Gerbil! Save us! Bite through the rope!
Gerbil: You're kidding, right? [turns back to Elijah and grabs his shoulders and begins shaking him] WHERE'S CHRISTINA?! TELL ME! I MUST KNOW! IS SHE SECRET? IS SHE SAFE?!
Elijah: [beginning to have an old flashback involving Bropous and begins trembling fearfully] Umm...I...I'm not...sure...
Gerbil: TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!! SHE RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO ME, NOT YOU!!
Elijah: [eyes misting over] It...it was just a movie--
Gerbil: [shakes Elijah really hard] YOU WILL TAKE CHRISTINA AND BETRAY US ALL!!!
Elijah: [squeals with horror and begins fumbling for a rock...this time he finds one]
Gerbil: [eyes gleaming green with greed and envy] YOU WILL BEEETTRAAAYYY US AAALLLLLLLL!!!!
Elijah: [screams again and slams the rock on Gerbil's head]

(Gerbil falls unconscious to the floor. Everyone stares in amazement. Elijah panics and drops the rock, then hits a switch and runs. Everyone SCREAMS! The platform they are tied upon is moving!)

Everyone: WE'RE ALL GONNA DDIIIIEEEE!!!
Tesseract: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

(Another platform is lowering faster behind them...tied upon the platform are Eowyn & Christina Ricci!)

Eowyn: JERSEYDEVIL! SAVE ME!
Christina: Okay, what the hell is going on?

(The platforms are getting closer and closer to a deep, dark, black pit. Everyone SCREAMS!)

Aldesign: GERBIL!!! SAVE US!!!
F#1, F#2, & F#3: WAKE UP, GERBIL!!!!!
Wayfarer: [throws a rock at Gerbil's head] AHA! Yes! Score!
RE, FF, & Sam: [smack Wayfarer upside the back of the head] What's wrong with you?!

(Our heroes are dropped closer and closer to the deep, dark, black pit...)

Christina: Hey! No one answered my question. What the hell is going on?

(You'll find out later.)

Christina: I don't think so, you're telling me now.

(You'll find out later.)

Christina: Maybe you didn't understand me when I said--


TO BE CONTINUED...BY...WHOEVER CONTINUES IT...

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

Pics will be up prolly this friday. I'll put up a notice here when they are.

...malls...such..evil evil things....sept for Spencers Gifts and Wet Seal. those stores rock.

[Laurelyn]

So now Elijah's evil, huh? But the Frodos are still, er . . .not evil (my english teacher is throttling me for temporarily murdering grammar), right?

I sound like an idiot . . . sorry . . .I shall go back to reading this. It's funny.

[FrodoFriend]

Heh heh heh . . . hee hee ha MWAHAHAHAHA!! I am liking this!!

[FrodoFriend]

The platforms move and collide, throwing Eowyn and Christina onto the one with all the other characters (hey, it's just easier, all right!)

Christina: This is really NOT what I envisioned myself doing on a Saturday night!
TS: A!!!! I!!!!! E!!!!
JD: Christina! Quick, wake Gerbil! Kiss him or something!
CH: You want me to kiss a gerbil?

The platforms begin to tilt, and the Messageboardship can now see into the deep, dark pit. They now realize that it really is . . .

WY: It's a HUGE ARMPIT!!!
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!
TS: AIEEEEEE!!!
WY: We'll all be killed!
Elijah: *standing on a balcony higher up in the room, now dressed in a shiny silver suit* That's right, Man of Powers!! You shall all be killed . . . in good time! *laughs like Dr. Evil* But first, we'll have some fun!! *laughs evilly in an evilly evilicious evil manner*
FF: You're a traitor!!! You, you . . . EVILijah!!
EW: That's DR. Evilijah to you, shorty! *throws a piece of paper at her* And take back your pathetic love-poems!
FF: I don't need you!! I have Frodo#1!!
Frodo#1: I love it when you talk like that! *awkwardly tries to roll roped self closer to FF*
FF: *gives Frodo#1 the piece of paper* Here . . . have a pathetic love poem! *giggles*
CH: This is NOT the time for that!!
TS: Good God! I mean, AI!! AI!! Look at the Pit, look at the Pit!
*the pit is filled with a howling, slavering, breakdancing, yodeling mixture of Balrogs, barracudas, aliens from the Alien movies, lobsters, Golluslugs, NSYNC, and the King of the Jungle himself! Yes, a horrific, ferocious LION CUB!*

Evilijah: Yes! Yes! Now I shall have the pleasure of killing you all . . . one by one!!
Eowyn: Jerseydevil, save me!
Liv: Aldesign, save me!
All: Gerbil, WAKE UP!!
JD: Christina, kiss him already!
CH: Oh . . . oh, allright! *reluctantly kisses Gerbil*
Gerbil: *jumps up* Woohoo!
RE: Kiss me, Frodo#3!
JD: NOO! I mean . . . er, kiss me, Eowyn!
FF: Kiss me, Frodo#1!
Sam: Kiss me, Frodo#2!
WY: Kiss me, Martha!
Hugo: Kiss me, Galadriel!
CH: You know, Tesseract, we REALLY need to get some wimmen!
TS: Huh? Why?
Evilijah: WHAT are you DOING? Do you not realize that you are about to DIE? *turns rainbow colors with evil anger*
RE: Yeah, yeah, you're just jealous!
Evilijah: What? I am not!
Sam: Yes, you are!
Evilijah: Am not!
Sam: ARE TOO!
Evilijah: DEE TOO! Oops, I mean, AM NOT! And just for that, I'm killing YOU first!! *laughs his evil, maniacal laugh*
Hugo: Hey, that's MY job! *casts off his bonds*
AL: Hey . . . why didn't you do that before??!!
Hugo: *looks blank* Do what? *twitches*
WY: Gerbil, untie us already!
Gerbil: Only if you let me read your collection!
WY: *turns red* Yes, yes, just free us!!
Martha: Collection? Collection of what?
WY: Er . . . fortune cookies fortunes, of course, my dear!
Martha: I didn't know you had a collection! Can I read them?
WY: *gulps*
*Gerbil gnaws through the ropes and we're free!*
Evilijah: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! It's too late! It's tooo laaate!! *sticks hands and feet into machine-controlling thing gloves/socks*

Suddenly, four huge tentacles come out of the walls. Three of them grab RE, FF & Sam and hold them dangling over the huge Arm pit. The fourth seems to be trying to look up Galadriel's skirt.

Galadriel: *shrieks* Get away! *shoots magical fire at tentacle*
RE, FF & Sam: AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Frodo#1: FrodoFriend, my dearest heart!
Frodo#2: Samwise, my reason for living!
Frodo#3: Rogue Elf, my hot love object!

Evilijah laughs in an evil, maniacal way.

Evilijah: Oh, by the way . . . These ARE contacts! MWAHAHAHAHA!!

The tentacles holding the three hobbit-girls slowly drop towards the Pit . . .


TO BE CONTINUED . . .

[Feraway Hawkbriar]

...dude...its pop-culture hell. O_O

In the thick midst of the pop-culture evil....ness...a lone figure whent unnoticed. Dodgeing and stalking in the shadows slowing comeing closer to the corrupted Dr Evilijah. The it struck.

Me: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BACK TO HELL WITH YOU GRAND ACTOR WHO HATH BECOME PRINCE OF DARK.....DARKNESS !

From the shadows sprang a crazed female pubesant teen clad in black teeshirt and capris.

Elijah: O_O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Y-

Here Dr Evilija was cut off by a swift right hook from the teen's kickboxing wrap wrapped fist. This sent Evilijah flailing to the floor totally KO'ed.

Me:That hurt me more that it hurt you babe...

She hurries over to a controle panel..there are many levers and buttons and the like.

ME: **** **** **** ****...uuuuh...blasted thing....MY KINGDOME FOR A MANUAL!"

Then a blue button starts flashing " SAVE"

Me: YES! *push*

The tentacles release their grip and flash back to the depths from wich they came flinging everyone into the air. A safety net shoots out across the pit saveing the all from a crappy doom.

She rushes over to the edge of the balcony that looks down over the pit.

Me: Yall alright down here?!



*uuuh..thats all I got for now..I hope it dosnt suck too bad.*

[Agburanar]

Scene: A fairly busy pavement in the west end of London
Cut to Sean Bean walking down street. Sudden falpping of bird wings etc. Street becomes deserted.
Camera pans around to a figure walking down the street towards Sean Bean. He wears a black balaclava and carries a longbow

SEAN BEAN: What the hell?

AGBURANAR: Ahahahaha!

The figure puts an arrow to his bow and shoots it straight at Sean Bean who collapses dead in the street. The figure vanishes and life resumes as normal only better!