The Matchmaker's Lover

Acalewia · 09-18-2006, 07:06 PM

I have now brought many loves together
I never thought I would ever find mine
I want someone to love me forever
I just have to give it a little time
Is it just my wild imagination
Or is it an act of magic or Fate?
Will it end in my poor devastation?
Oh please let him be my loving true mate
Be still, fair heart, you must not flutter so
He is standing outside waiting for me
He would stand there even in the deep snow
He has my heart, I gave to him the key
He is the matchmaker's lover, her soul
He has my heart that which from me he stole

***Earniel*** · 09-19-2006, 03:33 AM

That's nice. Although if I go by the flow of the poem the line 'Oh please let him be my loving true mate' sounds a bit too long, but then again, I know nothing of rules of poetry. Still very nice.

**Nurvingiel** · 09-21-2006, 01:31 AM

The line does fit IMO, since the whole poem is in iambic pentameter, and that line is 10 syllables long.

Great poem!

Acalewia · 09-21-2006, 10:13 AM

Thank you, guys. It was a poem I wrote for an english assignment.

Elfmaster XK · 09-22-2006, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nurvingiel

The line does fit IMO, since the whole poem is in iambic pentameter, and that line is 10 syllables long.

Great poem!

I agree it fits in that sense, but also agree with Eärniel that it sounds a bit odd. I think it would work better to say True loving mate, rather than loving true mate. Same words so doesn't upset the style, just IMO it sounds better.

Butterbeer · 09-22-2006, 05:27 PM

nah i prefer 'loving true mate'

blimey it's just like the late show innit?

*notes Germaine Greer's late again*

**Nurvingiel** · 09-23-2006, 07:47 PM

Good point you guys. The natural stress of the word is important in iambic pentameter, since in that style, the stress will be on every second syllable in the line, and it will sound weird if this isn't on the natural stress of the word.

Have you gotten your assignment back yet Acalewia? How'd ya do?

Acalewia · 09-24-2006, 07:03 PM

Got an A and the teacher used it as an example of how a sonnet should flow. In other words, she liked it.

rael · 09-26-2006, 05:25 PM

that was great
i did not like the first and second ones but i like the round table but then i love mythology and things like that

Elfmaster XK · 09-27-2006, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acalewia

Got an A and the teacher used it as an example of how a sonnet should flow. In other words, she liked it.

Congrats

And I thought of another way to say it "Oh, Please let him be my love and true mate"

I know it's your work, but that tiny bit did stand out to me. And anyway, tis only me humble opinion

Acalewia · 09-27-2006, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rael

that was great
i did not like the first and second ones but i like the round table but then i love mythology and things like that

Are you talking bout my links?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elfmaster XK

And I thought of another way to say it "Oh, Please let him be my love and true mate" I know it's your work, but that tiny bit did stand out to me. And anyway, tis only me humble opinion

I'm open to suggestions, Cap'n

Elfmaster XK · 09-27-2006, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Acalewia

Are you talking bout my links?

I'm open to suggestions, Cap'n

Lol!

In the realm of free writing, you don't have to listen to me though. On board the Nal....

Butterbeer · 09-27-2006, 08:16 PM

Free writing is, of course, ... encouraged ...

**1

.................................................. ......................

**1

The plank is a mighty mind-sharpener ... and shark teeth cuttingly incisive ...

(still think the original is best tho'

)

Acalewia · 09-28-2006, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elfmaster XK

Lol!

In the realm of free writing, you don't have to listen to me though. On board the Nal....

roflmao! Just becase i want to kill one of the new recruts doesn't mean anything

09-18-2006, 07:06 PM	#1
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	The Matchmaker's Lover I have now brought many loves together I never thought I would ever find mine I want someone to love me forever I just have to give it a little time Is it just my wild imagination Or is it an act of magic or Fate? Will it end in my poor devastation? Oh please let him be my loving true mate Be still, fair heart, you must not flutter so He is standing outside waiting for me He would stand there even in the deep snow He has my heart, I gave to him the key He is the matchmaker's lover, her soul He has my heart that which from me he stole __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

09-19-2006, 03:33 AM	#2
*Earniel* The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium) Posts: 14,363	That's nice. Although if I go by the flow of the poem the line 'Oh please let him be my loving true mate' sounds a bit too long, but then again, I know nothing of rules of poetry. Still very nice. __________________ We are not things.

09-21-2006, 10:13 AM	#4
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	Thank you, guys. It was a poem I wrote for an english assignment. __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

09-24-2006, 07:03 PM	#8
Acalewia Halfelven Daughter of the Dunedain, President of Entmoot Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In trouble. As usual. Posts: 4,674	Got an A and the teacher used it as an example of how a sonnet should flow. In other words, she liked it. __________________ "Acaly und Hektor fur Presidants fur EntMut fur life!"~ inked Don't meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. "Don't be such a sour wolf" Stiles ~ Heart Monitor http://www.wattpad.com/user/IceQueenofMitera

09-26-2006, 05:25 PM	#9
rael Hobbit Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: hutchinson ks Posts: 34	that was great i did not like the first and second ones but i like the round table but then i love mythology and things like that __________________ Blessed be the giver Cursed be the thief May fortune smile apon the true And liars come to grief

09-22-2006, 05:27 PM	#6
Butterbeer Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: here and there Posts: 3,514	nah i prefer 'loving true mate' blimey it's just like the late show innit? notes Germaine Greer's late again

09-27-2006, 08:16 PM	#13
Butterbeer Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: here and there Posts: 3,514	Free writing is, of course, ... encouraged ... 1 .................................................. ...................... 1 The plank is a mighty mind-sharpener ... and shark teeth cuttingly incisive ... (still think the original is best tho' )

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