'popularity' 'coolness' 'loser'-your thoughts

[Nariel]

I guess I was lucky enough to go to a high school where there wasn't really a "popular" crowd and a "loser" crowd. Everyone kind of found their own niche and fit into a group where they belonged, except for the "loners". No group was better than any other group... just different. Let's see if I can remember some of the groups (most people existed in more than one):

Cheerleaders
AP Students
Yearbook staff
Football players
Student Assembly (Student Senate)
Gamers (Magic, etc)
Band
Drama
The ones who had a crush on our single history teacher
Goths
Christian Club

As for me, my friends and I had our own group that consisted of a lot of these groups put together. And anyone could feel comfortable in our group, provided they WANTED to feel comfortable.

But now that I'm in college, There aren't really any groups. But maybe I think that because I'm a commuter and I really don't get the full view that the on-campus students do. I know there are a few "groupies" like North Dorm, Music, Video Gamers, and stuff like that, but they are fairly open groups and allow anyone to join. I still have a few close friends and a bunch of acquaintances.

Interestingly enough, I've recently seen a lot of the people I went to high school with. And they all identified me as "Hey, you were Mike Oakley's friend, right?" I thought that was funny because that was a guy I had a major crush on, but didn't really hang out with much until junior/senior year. Why would they identify me with him. We were buddies, but not really close.

[Ruinel]

Being 'cool' is the ability of one person to supplant one's true self and displace one's true feelings with a ersatz self in order to perpetuate a mertriculous relationship between the ersatz self and fallacious friends. Because one can not allow the fallacious friends to see the true self, one consents to a life filled with fear of discovery, rejection and loneliness.






.... or.... it could be just being a cheerleader. *shrugs*

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

i am not popular,
i have never been popular
i don't plan on being popular

generally, in uk, popular people are those who listen to brttany speers and over pop-bimbos, and play too much sport. i don't want to be like that, i want to be admired for my brain, my humour, and my heart. I was nver popular at school because i was clever (in their eyes), i'm gay, and i don't look exactly..well..what they would call normal. but i have always said, normality comes from what each person perceives, no more, no less.

[Mercutio]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

[Lanelf]

I am not cool, and have no desire to be. I go to a catholic girls high school, and there are basically a few groups:
1. The Cool (cheerleader-type, but there aren't any actual cheerleaders. The bitchy ones who always talk about guys and clothes)
2. The Cute (the sort that still like cute little animals, you know, and Winnie the Pooh)
3. The Geeks (Me and a few others, the sort that are always in the library and discussing LOTR etc.)

I think you all know where I fall. And I think you can guess my attitude to the others. Not meaning any offence to anyone who might like to be cool, but it's not worth the effort. Plus, I'd have to listen to Justin Timberlake... *shudder*
Lanelf.

[Count Comfect]

At my high school and middle school, throughout MS there was a feeling of a group people thought of as "cool" and "popular" but by HS it became just a bunch of groups all of which were "cool" to their members and none of which anyone really thought was more "popular" than any other. And by now, in senior year, it's basically just one big group with mutual respect and divisions based on what you do outside school and no real "cool" group.
Not to say we're all one happy family - far from it (the accelerated kids and the regular kids have a HUGE divide, for example) but coolness and popularity don't seem that motivating for divisions.
Or I could be naive and missing stuff.

[sun-star]

Originally posted by Count Comfect
At my high school and middle school, throughout MS there was a feeling of a group people thought of as "cool" and "popular" but by HS it became just a bunch of groups all of which were "cool" to their members and none of which anyone really thought was more "popular" than any other. And by now, in senior year, it's basically just one big group with mutual respect and divisions based on what you do outside school and no real "cool" group.

That's been my experience too. I think basically people just grow out of it and these things aren't so important as you get older.

[brownjenkins]

definitely one of the "friends with everbody" types... i got good grades, but also got into trouble at times

i had various musical groups with friends since 8th grade, so this helped me cross the barriers a lot... everybody likes music

i also use to make it a point to vary who i hung out with at lunch on a daily basis, and invite friends along with me into groups that weren't necessarily their type... it didn't always work, but sometimes friendships stuck

i was always the empathetic type who listened well to others and tried to be diplomatic when confronting people... my biggest fault however, was not being judgemental enough at times... i still have a tendency to let things slide with the assumption that "they didn't really mean it that way"

it often took me a while to recognize a truely "bad" person

in the end, i guess i just tried to ignore the categories

[Radagast]

Maybe my own experiences of Eton are slightly different as that was a) all male and b) boarding so we were all in much closer contact with each other, for much longer. But I broadly agree- there are those who are just naturally so amazingly cool that they have no need to follow trends and fashions- fashions follow them. Then there are those who attain coolness by living off the dregs of coolness passed down from the naturally cool above. Then there are the people who are well-liked because they are inoffensive and do not fall into any category, thereby exciting no emotion on the part of the beholder. Amiable people but, in the grand scheme of things, insignificant. Then there are just the losers- in the extreme cases I disagree that people can reform and become successes. Once you are trapped into the cycle, then what can you do?

A particular example I cite is Sir Charles Reid who I was at school with, he was a dork then and the last I saw of him is that he was leeching off his father's money. A success? No.

[Janny]

Originally posted by sun-star
That's been my experience too. I think basically people just grow out of it and these things aren't so important as you get older.

I should hope so too. Actually, I'm getting to that stage now, where being smart is no longer a social hinderance. My friends are not cool and they never hacked the 'cool' (bitches). I should explain that all my friends are girls, I'm a straight guy... with a certain amount of charm, I feel...
Actually, I'm slightly bitter... I'm catagory A for maybe 5/6 of the forms, but I have an ex-gf (Sunny will testify 'ex' is for the best! ) who is unescapably more attractive to males than me. She therefore prevents my complete rise to catogory A-ship...
But actually, it's not about being cool, it's about being respected... and that can come from anyone, for any reason.

[brownjenkins]

good point... i think being 'respected' is an admirable trait... whether cool or not

[Janny]

Yeah, that's not 'respect' as in 'respekt', as in 'cool'. Sad though it be, teachers are not bad people to have admiring you. It's kinda fun if one says 'Hmmm, I don't know you, but I like your reputation'.

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by Sminty_Smeagol
I think one of the biggest divides, that superficially divides the people in to 'cool' and 'popular' (atleast at first until people grow up and get over the labels) from the 'losers' is looks. Humans are visual creatures and it has been proven in studies that attractive people generally make more money and are more likely to get jobs than less attractive people (If you want I can dig up the resource). Not neccessarily that the interviewer and people promoting them are entirely at fault for being 'unfair'... I think people who are not as blessed with physical attraction as other people tend to be les comfortable with themselves and less confident socially, and may not be able to display themselves as well at interviews and such, socially, as 'pretty people'.

Post if your interested. If you have anything to contribute or discuss, please do

I agree, to be "popular" you have to follow trends and unfortunately "stereotypes", which has its most significant meaning among peers around highschool age. It is rather sad we judge people by their appearance instead of their character and personality. I also agree with "pretty" people having better social opportunities, which is also a shame. I try not to see people as stereotypes nor could I place myself in a stereotype because I have alot of different interests that would pertain to more than one stereotypical group. For example I play lacrosse and basketball, I play the bass guitar, I'm a heavy reader,I'm an artist, I have done drugs for my own reasons, I listen to alot of different music anything from classical to death metal. Of course, the reason for this is because I keep an open mind and I try not follow "stereotypes". I think alot of people conform to the expectations of their peers because they are afraid to be different. I'm rather shy however I have close group of friends and I'm happy with that because I don't want/need to be the center of attention nor do I want to pretend to be something I'm not. I think most people will agree that people are more inclined to be happy being themselves rather then being superficial and fake.