It Takes A Shire!

In response to Shanamir's environmental lament on the US PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION thread, and as a matter that I've often thought about, I would like to open the following topic.

I have a feeling that many of you may have also engaged in this line of thought, and it seemed that we might have a nice long discussion.

I've also wearied of the onslaught of heavy subjects lately.

So here goes:


HOW DOES ONE BUILD AND MAINTAIN A HOBBIT HOMESTEAD/SETTLEMENT?


In this age of Mordor-like, cancerous development of strip malls and parking lots, is it practical or desirable for individuals to seek the simple life of the Shire?

And what do we know of that lifestyle? It was closer to Nature, but still cheerful and comfortable and prosperous. Can such a pastoral, agrarian lifestyle be adapted in this Age? How?

Some of you may have quotes from Professor Tolkien, himself, on these matters. Others may have helpful (if not entertaining!), speculations about construction techniques and country living. You may know something of the Urban Agriculture movement and how it may apply. Others may be able to speak about the macro-economics of such a society.

Naturally, I have a lot of my own ideas on the subject, and have done a little research through the years. I would like to start pulling it together with your help!

Start digging!

(And with that, the little hobbit took another sip of iced tea and thought ice was nice, and of how he would hate to do without it in the Southfarthing summers...)


P.S.
You can check out some ideas on my old abandoned website POOR ROBERT'S ALMANAC (past due for renovation!) accessible from the link in my signature. Look for RESOURCES FOR THE POOR and for MY GARDEN JOURNAL. The former is a collection of links for Sustainable Living and Permaculture. The latter is my proposal for a type of self-sufficient micro-farm that one could maintain on a mid-sized city backyard.

You dig a hole in a mountain

Ah! But how do you shore it up! What do you do when it rains? How do you keep it from being the spot where (for convenience sake) your weeping (but too-lazy-to-dig-you-up) hobbit relatives erect your tombstone?

Centuries of practical tunneling and construction have perfected Hobbit architecture. Underground, or earth-sheltered homes can be affordable or elaborate. But they are warm in winter, cool in the summer, blend in to the landscape, and use renewable resources.

Plus you can grow TATERS on the roof!

"Give us T-Carriers or give us death!"

Hobbit-Holes for Dummies ver. 1.0

Chapter 1: Making the Hobbit-Hole

1. Find a likely hill, depending on the size of your plans. Make sure there is room for further developement.

2. Find a place where the main door would be most usefull.
Make measurements and make sure the door is round.

3. Start digging straight into the hill. Not down, not up, Straight and level. Stop when you have come through the opposite side.

4. Reinforce the hill with wooden beams in the tunnel. Later, these will be replaced with bricks.

5. Make the side rooms. Remember to keep them level and at the same height as you main hallway.

6. After reinforcing the hill, it is time to start with the furnature. Put many pegs on your coat hanger, and put in a large, industrial-size fridge. You'll need it.
HINT: Green and Yellow make great colors for a hobbit-hole

Chapter 2: Plumbing

1. Hopefully you located you hole near a river. If not, relocate, or use irragation canals. Before you need a water source, you need to build a path for it in you hole. Remember, there is no such thing as pipes in this age.

2. First you need to dig a trench, right underneath the places you want it to go. The first place you want it to go is the Kitchen. You want the highest-quality water you can get for cooking.

3. After that, it should run to the guests bedrooms, Split the paths up so no one is dealing with another persons spit, etc.

4. Last, put the Bathroom. Why? If you don't know, then drop this book, stop building, and go take a nap.

5. After you have the water lines under the house complete, create a trench back to the river. put a grate where it meets the river. This should prevent any unhappiness of anyonr who lives down the river.

6. Create the trench from the river to you house, and let the water run. Test every hand pump, tub, toilet, sink etc.

Chapter 3: Getting people to come to your hole.

This capter is optional. You may not like visitors.

1. Throw parties.

2. Use only the finest. (food, sheets, hot water, etc.)
================================================== ==========
Thank you for purchasing and reading "Hobbit-Holes for Dummies" Be sure to check out "Smials for Dummies" and "Maintaining your Hobbit Homestead for Dummies"

(Shanamir relaxes and the little campfire shine in his eyes while he remember his house and Appelle, his wife, waiting for him more than 1000 km away. Will he ever saw her again?)

Yes, that would be great. But personnally, being human, hobbit-holes are too smalls for my convenience.

(The little hobbit reading the Dummies Guide, rolled about on the floor, laughing so hard he had to hold his sides for he felt he might split right down the seams if he didn't!) :rollin:

I know what you mean, Shan! I've never been very far or very long away from the Mrs! Oh misery!

Well, back to work!

(He looked back down on the papers scattered over his desk and picked up his favorite wax crayon.)

I am brilliant.

Here are what I hope will be some hints and drawings that MAY help some of you surface dwellers enjoy the comforts of earth sheltered living!

www.geocities.com/robertwgardner2000/hobbithole.html

***EDIT: I tried to display the image of the little page out of my yellow notepad, but it wouldn't load, so you'll have to use the link!***

I'd like to see if any of you have any other thoughts about Hobbit Life, specific or general, whimsical or "serious!"

(And with that, the little hobbit went back to the drawing board.)

That link should probably read,

www.geocities.com/robertw...thole.html

Thanks Johnny! I fixed it!