What were they REALLY thinking? - Page 13

straight_face · 01-29-2003, 08:25 PM

"Funny Things Happen" (written by myself a long time ago... seems appropriate for this topic)
A NAzgul closely pursues Frodo until Frodo jumps onto the raft. Nazgul stops, turns, and confronts another passing Nazgul.
Nazgul #1: We can't win, can we?
Nazgul #2: No we can't. How about we harass Tom Bombadil?
Nazgul #1: Sounds like a plan. (Both head off in the opposite direction of the others.

In Bree, Frodo breaks from his trance when he hears the name "Baggins".
Pippin: Sure I know a Baggins! He's over there! Frodo Baggins! He's my second cousin, once removed on his mother's side. Then there's this ring that he has, called the Ring of Power, and it has the ability to control everyone in Middle-earth, and almost everyone wants it because it's the most valuable thing in this world, you know.
The ruffians take one look at Frodo and pounce on him.

The hobbits sleep in Bree while Aragorn watches for danger. Pippin wakes, rubbing his forehead.
Pippin: Could I have some Tylenol?
Aragorn: No.
Pippin: How 'bout a glass of water?
Aragorn: No.
Pippin: A fluffier pillow?
Aragorn: NO.
Pippin: A piece of bread?
Aragorn: NO!
Both fall silent.
Pippin: (quieter) A pinch of ale?
Aragorn takes Pippin, opens his window, and throws him out to the bloodthirsty NAzgul.

Arwen flees on horseback with Frodo. She crosses the river and turns back when she hears giggling from her pursuers.
Arwen: What?
Nazgul continuing giggling until Arwen realizes Frodo is gone.

The Company enters Dwarrowdelf where all stare in awe and wonder. Pippin wanders over to a gigantic pillar and discovers that there is a board supporting the pillar.
Pippin: You don't belong here, Mr. Board.
He kicks the supporting board and causes the pillars to fall like dominoes. Soon after, the Balrog, two Cave Trolls, and thousands of Orcs surround them.
Pippin: Um, er, is that Sauron up there?
Balrog, Cave Trolls, Orcs: WHAT? WHERE?

Merry and Pippin are hiding when they figure out Frodo is leaving. Both jump in front of the Uruk-hai.
Merry+Pippin: Hey! Over here!
Pippin: Now what do we do?
Merry: I don't know. What's that thing when your legs start moving really fast?
Pippin: Um...er... don't tell me. It's... oh yea! Run-
Both are immediately seized by the Uruks.

Aragorn races to Boromir to find arrows portruding from him.
Boromir: They have taken the little ones.
Aragorn: Stay still.
Boromir: Frodo, where is Frodo?
Aragorn: I let him go.
Boromir: Well, before I die, could you please tel my father, Denethor, that I died in honor?
Aragorn: (nearing tears) Yes.
Boromir: And tell my brother, Faramir, that I was the one who broke his toy sword when we were five.
Aragorn: (tears streaming down face) Yes.
Boromir: And, if you ever see Frodo again, tell him that I didn't mean to bring him harm just because I'm a strong man and he's a wimpy hobbit.
Aragorn: (bawling) Yes!
Boromir falls silent and his face is still. Aragorn continues weeping for his dead companion.
Boromir: Oh, and tell Legolas that I accidentally slep on his arrows in Lothlorien and I broke about seven.
Aragorn: What? I thought you were dead!
Boromir: Oh yea, I gues I am suppose to be. Sorry.
He falls limp.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli stand by the shores of Anduin.
Aragorn: Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands. But we shall not betray Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while there's still hope. (pauses and smiles grimly) Let's hunt some deer.
Gimli:... what?
Aragorn: Oh, I mean, Orc.

Frodo and Sam stand upon the hill overlooking the deadly path that lies ahead of them.
Frodo: I don't suppose we'll ever see them again.
Sam: We may, Mr. Frodo. We may.
Frodo: What happens now?
Both look down to the dark bottom of the cliff, shrug, and jump off.

P.S. The other ones were good. This was exceedingly pointless, I understand.

Coney · 01-29-2003, 08:29 PM

hahahah v.good

Fimbrethil · 02-07-2003, 02:47 PM

Legolas looking at Boromir while he is dieing<thinking> I wonder if he knows I shoot him;stupid.

Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn · 02-07-2003, 02:54 PM

i think yours are good striaght_face

Fimbrethil · 02-09-2003, 01:57 PM

Legolas at Helms Deep when Aragorn returns "You look teribble."
<thinking>Yeah now there all looking at me. OK dont fall, dont fall!
Aragorn when he and Legolas are fighting "Then I will die as one of them!" <thinking>I'd rather not.
Shadowfax while he's carrying Gandalf<thinking>I wonder what happens when I do THIS!
PJ: CUT!
Gandalf: D*** that horse thats the thrid time!

Diamond · 02-09-2003, 06:44 PM

Haldir: Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion.
Legolas: Govannas vîn gwennen le, Haldir o Lórien.
What they're thinking:
Haldir: How YOU doin'?
Legolas: I need a bath.

Aragorn: This is a dream.
What he's thinking:
Aragorn: Haha, I'm gonna get LAID!

[Legolas looking at the Wargs coming over the hill]
What he's thinking:
Legolas: Feelin' lucky, punk?

[Frodo being dragged off by the Watcher outside the Mines of Moria.]
What he's thinking:
Frodo: ::sigh:: Why me?

Merry: But you're a part of this world! Aren't you?
What the Ents are thinking:
Ents: Erm... no?

Boromir: It is a gift!
What Gandalf is thinking:
Gandalf: You. Idiot.
(That might only makes sense if you have seen the EE.)

[Éowyn standing in front of the Golden Hall, watching Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli.]
What she's thinking:
Is that the pizza delivery guy?

Sméagol: Good Sméagol always helps!
What he's thinking:
Sméagol: And maybe I could get a pair of underpants for my trouble?

Di

FrodoFriend · 02-10-2003, 11:39 AM

LOL on the pizza delivery!!!

Eowyn watching Rohan's flag sail off into the wind: I TOLD Eomer not to hang his towel on the flagpole . . .

Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn · 02-10-2003, 02:44 PM

*sigh* wish i could think up some of these

Elvellyn · 02-12-2003, 09:51 PM

Arwen kissing Aragorn
Aragorn thinking: Theres about a million fangirls who would love to kill her right now.
Arwen thinking: OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! ITS VIGGO!!!!!

Arathorn · 02-12-2003, 11:38 PM

Gandalf while stabbing at the Balrog as they fall into the abyss: <stab, stab, stab> *thinking* Darned tennis ball won't stay still!

Gollum after evil personality stops answering: *thinking* Er, who's line is it anyway?

Saruman after Gandalf "exorcises" him from Theoden: "Argh!!!" *thinking* Darn, I should have made that king's head spin.

Legolas after seeing Aragorn alive: "Your late...you look terrible.." *thinking* That's it, my stock just plunged 50 pts.
Aragorn: *thinking* Yeah, but why'd you have to drag mine down too!

Gimli after seeing the Deeping Wall explode: *thinking* Gah! I see Balin's craftsmanship again. How many times do I have to tell him that styro just won't do...

TinuvielChild · 02-13-2003, 12:53 AM

Boromir: My brother....my captain....my king.
Aragorn thinks: Well, at least he seems to think I'm king. Might just be blood loss, though. Still not King!

note: that'll only make sense if you've read the VSDs of Cassie Claire.

Agburanar · 02-14-2003, 08:28 AM

I'm a little behind as I haven't seen the second film (the first was too awful!) sio here's one from the first:

Lurtz: "find my half legs!"

Thinks: "What a stupid line!"

01-29-2003, 08:25 PM	#241
straight_face Enting Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Angband Posts: 91	"Funny Things Happen" "Funny Things Happen" (written by myself a long time ago... seems appropriate for this topic) A NAzgul closely pursues Frodo until Frodo jumps onto the raft. Nazgul stops, turns, and confronts another passing Nazgul. Nazgul #1: We can't win, can we? Nazgul #2: No we can't. How about we harass Tom Bombadil? Nazgul #1: Sounds like a plan. (Both head off in the opposite direction of the others. In Bree, Frodo breaks from his trance when he hears the name "Baggins". Pippin: Sure I know a Baggins! He's over there! Frodo Baggins! He's my second cousin, once removed on his mother's side. Then there's this ring that he has, called the Ring of Power, and it has the ability to control everyone in Middle-earth, and almost everyone wants it because it's the most valuable thing in this world, you know. The ruffians take one look at Frodo and pounce on him. The hobbits sleep in Bree while Aragorn watches for danger. Pippin wakes, rubbing his forehead. Pippin: Could I have some Tylenol? Aragorn: No. Pippin: How 'bout a glass of water? Aragorn: No. Pippin: A fluffier pillow? Aragorn: NO. Pippin: A piece of bread? Aragorn: NO! Both fall silent. Pippin: (quieter) A pinch of ale? Aragorn takes Pippin, opens his window, and throws him out to the bloodthirsty NAzgul. Arwen flees on horseback with Frodo. She crosses the river and turns back when she hears giggling from her pursuers. Arwen: What? Nazgul continuing giggling until Arwen realizes Frodo is gone. The Company enters Dwarrowdelf where all stare in awe and wonder. Pippin wanders over to a gigantic pillar and discovers that there is a board supporting the pillar. Pippin: You don't belong here, Mr. Board. He kicks the supporting board and causes the pillars to fall like dominoes. Soon after, the Balrog, two Cave Trolls, and thousands of Orcs surround them. Pippin: Um, er, is that Sauron up there? Balrog, Cave Trolls, Orcs: WHAT? WHERE? Merry and Pippin are hiding when they figure out Frodo is leaving. Both jump in front of the Uruk-hai. Merry+Pippin: Hey! Over here! Pippin: Now what do we do? Merry: I don't know. What's that thing when your legs start moving really fast? Pippin: Um...er... don't tell me. It's... oh yea! Run- Both are immediately seized by the Uruks. Aragorn races to Boromir to find arrows portruding from him. Boromir: They have taken the little ones. Aragorn: Stay still. Boromir: Frodo, where is Frodo? Aragorn: I let him go. Boromir: Well, before I die, could you please tel my father, Denethor, that I died in honor? Aragorn: (nearing tears) Yes. Boromir: And tell my brother, Faramir, that I was the one who broke his toy sword when we were five. Aragorn: (tears streaming down face) Yes. Boromir: And, if you ever see Frodo again, tell him that I didn't mean to bring him harm just because I'm a strong man and he's a wimpy hobbit. Aragorn: (bawling) Yes! Boromir falls silent and his face is still. Aragorn continues weeping for his dead companion. Boromir: Oh, and tell Legolas that I accidentally slep on his arrows in Lothlorien and I broke about seven. Aragorn: What? I thought you were dead! Boromir: Oh yea, I gues I am suppose to be. Sorry. He falls limp. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli stand by the shores of Anduin. Aragorn: Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands. But we shall not betray Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while there's still hope. (pauses and smiles grimly) Let's hunt some deer. Gimli:... what? Aragorn: Oh, I mean, Orc. Frodo and Sam stand upon the hill overlooking the deadly path that lies ahead of them. Frodo: I don't suppose we'll ever see them again. Sam: We may, Mr. Frodo. We may. Frodo: What happens now? Both look down to the dark bottom of the cliff, shrug, and jump off. P.S. The other ones were good. This was exceedingly pointless, I understand. __________________ 'There was no need. He halted just by us and looked down at us. "Gandalf!" I said at last, but my voice was only a whisper. Did he say: "Hullo, Pippin! This is a pleasant surprise!" No, indeed! He said: "Get up, you tom-fool of a Took! Where, in the name of wonder, in all this ruin is Treebeard? I want him. Quick!"' 'What are we going to do now then?' asked Pippin, undaunted by the wizard's bristling brows. "Knock on the door with your head, Peregrin Took,' said Gandalf. 'But if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will seek for the opening words.' 'Fool of a Took!' he growled. 'This is a serious journey, not a hobbit walking-party. Throw yourself in next time, and then you will be no further nuisance. Now be quiet!'

01-29-2003, 08:29 PM	#242
Coney The Buddy Rabbit Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Trapped in the headlights.. Posts: 3,372	hahahah v.good __________________ Blessed are the cracked, they let the light in Beatallica

02-07-2003, 02:47 PM	#243
Fimbrethil My microwave speaks to me Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Having conversations with my major household appliances. Posts: 937	Legolas looking at Boromir while he is dieing<thinking> I wonder if he knows I shoot him;stupid. __________________ Bah, Bah black sheep have oyu any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, one for the little boy who lives down the lane! Bah, bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full. I'll be gone for a while. But never fear! "I shall return anon!"

02-07-2003, 02:54 PM	#244
Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn The Elven Queen Of All Pyros Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Im like a little bug stuck in the lamp...never going anywhere Posts: 795	i think yours are good striaght_face __________________ Would you judge my future based on what i did in the past? Procrastinators Unite!!!.....tomorrrow.... Kids in backseats cause accidents...accidents in backseats cause kids As long as there are tests..there will be prayers in school

02-09-2003, 01:57 PM	#245
Fimbrethil My microwave speaks to me Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Having conversations with my major household appliances. Posts: 937	Legolas at Helms Deep when Aragorn returns "You look teribble." <thinking>Yeah now there all looking at me. OK dont fall, dont fall! Aragorn when he and Legolas are fighting "Then I will die as one of them!" <thinking>I'd rather not. Shadowfax while he's carrying Gandalf<thinking>I wonder what happens when I do THIS! PJ: CUT! Gandalf: D*** that horse thats the thrid time! __________________ Bah, Bah black sheep have oyu any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, one for the little boy who lives down the lane! Bah, bah black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir. Three bags full. I'll be gone for a while. But never fear! "I shall return anon!"

02-09-2003, 06:44 PM	#246
Diamond Hobbit Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Minas Tirith Posts: 45	Haldir: Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion. Legolas: Govannas vîn gwennen le, Haldir o Lórien. What they're thinking: Haldir: How YOU doin'? Legolas: I need a bath. Aragorn: This is a dream. What he's thinking: Aragorn: Haha, I'm gonna get LAID! [Legolas looking at the Wargs coming over the hill] What he's thinking: Legolas: Feelin' lucky, punk? [Frodo being dragged off by the Watcher outside the Mines of Moria.] What he's thinking: Frodo: ::sigh:: Why me? Merry: But you're a part of this world! Aren't you? What the Ents are thinking: Ents: Erm... no? Boromir: It is a gift! What Gandalf is thinking: Gandalf: You. Idiot. (That might only makes sense if you have seen the EE.) [Éowyn standing in front of the Golden Hall, watching Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli.] What she's thinking: Is that the pizza delivery guy? Sméagol: Good Sméagol always helps! What he's thinking: Sméagol: And maybe I could get a pair of underpants for my trouble? Di __________________ I see in your eyes the fear that would take the heart of me... There will be a day when the strength of men fails, but it is not this day!" "He was twitching!" "He was twitching because he has my axe embedded in his nervous system!"

02-10-2003, 11:39 AM	#247
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	LOL on the pizza delivery!!! Eowyn watching Rohan's flag sail off into the wind: I TOLD Eomer not to hang his towel on the flagpole . . . __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

02-10-2003, 02:44 PM	#248
Legolas_Frodo_Aragorn The Elven Queen Of All Pyros Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Im like a little bug stuck in the lamp...never going anywhere Posts: 795	sigh wish i could think up some of these __________________ Would you judge my future based on what i did in the past? Procrastinators Unite!!!.....tomorrrow.... Kids in backseats cause accidents...accidents in backseats cause kids As long as there are tests..there will be prayers in school

02-12-2003, 09:51 PM	#249
Elvellyn The Redneck Elf Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: In a house Posts: 539	Arwen kissing Aragorn Aragorn thinking: Theres about a million fangirls who would love to kill her right now. Arwen thinking: OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! ITS VIGGO!!!!! __________________ Oliphants make great pets.

02-12-2003, 11:38 PM	#250
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	Gandalf while stabbing at the Balrog as they fall into the abyss: <stab, stab, stab> thinking Darned tennis ball won't stay still! Gollum after evil personality stops answering: thinking Er, who's line is it anyway? Saruman after Gandalf "exorcises" him from Theoden: "Argh!!!" thinking Darn, I should have made that king's head spin. Legolas after seeing Aragorn alive: "Your late...you look terrible.." thinking That's it, my stock just plunged 50 pts. Aragorn: thinking Yeah, but why'd you have to drag mine down too! Gimli after seeing the Deeping Wall explode: thinking Gah! I see Balin's craftsmanship again. How many times do I have to tell him that styro just won't do... __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures... Last edited by Arathorn : 02-12-2003 at 11:41 PM.

02-13-2003, 12:53 AM	#251
TinuvielChild Padawan Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The Barony of Carolingia Posts: 2,176	Boromir: My brother....my captain....my king. Aragorn thinks: Well, at least he seems to think I'm king. Might just be blood loss, though. Still not King! note: that'll only make sense if you've read the VSDs of Cassie Claire. __________________ There are only four questions of value in life: What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: ONLY LOVE. Dance as though nobody's watching. Sing as though nobody's listening. Dream as though you'll live forever. Live as though you'll die tomorrow. EIDRIORCQWSDAKLMEDDCWWTIWOATTOPWFIO and proud! FRODO LIVES!!!!!

02-14-2003, 08:28 AM	#252
Agburanar Elf Lord Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Dorset Posts: 608	I'm a little behind as I haven't seen the second film (the first was too awful!) sio here's one from the first: Lurtz: "find my half legs!" Thinks: "What a stupid line!" __________________ I would wish, were it to any avail, that the LORD OF THE RINGS FILMS had never been wrought. ROLLING STOCK, WE'RE ROLLING STOCK!!

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