Monty Python Meets LOTR

I saw this thread on a newsgroup. The idea here is to rewrite scenes from LOTR as if Monty Python were doing the movie. There were some pretty funny ones, but if there are some Python fans here (besides me) I bet we can do just as well. Here are two of mine:

A famished Pippin goes to the butteries with Beregond to find some refreshment. Beregond: "This is the storehouse and buttery of my company of the Guard. Greetings, Targon! It is early yet, but here is a newcomer that the Lord has taken into his service. He has ridden long and far with a tight belt, and has had sore labour this morning, and he is hungry. Give us what you have!"

Targon: "We've got eggs and spam, bacon and spam, spam and spam, eggs, bacon sausage and spam..."



Tom Bombadil sings an altered song when he meets up with a desperate Frodo:

I'm Tom Bombadil, and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I work all day!

I talk to trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavat'ry.
On Wednesdays I go shopping
And have buttered scones for tea.

I'm Tom Bombadil and I'm OK,
I sleep all night, I work all day!

I talk to trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers,
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars....



Your turn!