Poem for Students

[Nurvingiel]

Hi everyone, I've only posted once in this forum, but I have been reading it for some time. I think a writer's workshop is a great idea, and I hope to improve my writing by helping others, as well as being reviewed by my peers. I definately will appreciate everyone's comments!
I normally write short stories, but I had to write a poem about university today. (There is swearing and a reference to beer; a warning if you are offended by such things.) So without further ado...


Poem for Students
By Nurvingiel

The food is very greasy
the sleepless nights are long
studying isn't easy
but you know you must go on.

There is construction near
my dilapidated dorm
to the students it is clear
this is not outside the norm.

Friday nights with beer and friends
are memories that last
but study hard or in the end
you'll be bitten in the ass.

Yes finals are a time we loathe
reducing us to tears
but try to learn and take some notes
you'll overcome your fear.

But cheer up! Don't be sad!
remember you'd be done
if you only had one single lab;
three's not much more than one.

No matter when you go to class
from here until the end
you can succeed or barely pass
it is your time to spend.

This is not the only motive
there is also stress
keep school in the right perspective
don't end up in a mess.

The friends are good the times are fun
there's too much studying to be done!


Thanks for your comments!

[Nurvingiel]

One specific question I have for you guys is, how should I use punctuation in this poem? It seems trivial, but not knowing how to write each verse is really irritating me.

For example, should I write:

The food is very greasy
The sleepless nights are long
Studying isn't easy
But you know you must go on.

or

The food is very greasy,
The sleepless nights are long.
Studying isn't easy
but you know you must go on.

or should I leave it how I had it. (This example applies to the whole poem.)

Thanks!

[Nurvingiel]

Sad that I have made all of the three posts in this thread, but I've made two edits to the poem: (Edited lines italicized.)

Poem for Students
By Nurvingiel

The food is very greasy
the sleepless nights are long
studying isn't easy
but you know you must go on.

There is construction near
my dilapidated dorm
to the students it is clear
this is not outside the norm.

Friday nights with beer and friends
are memories that last
but study hard or in the end
get bitten in the ass.

Yes finals are a time we loathe
reducing us to tears
but try to learn and take some notes
you'll overcome your fears.

But cheer up! Don't be sad!
remember you'd be done
if you had but one single lab;
three's not much more than one.

No matter when you go to class
from here until the end
you can succeed or barely pass
it is your time to spend.

This is not the only motive
there is also stress
keep school in the right perspective
don't end up in a mess.

The friends are good the times are fun
there's too much studying to be done!



New and improved or worse? (Personally, I think the edits make the meter better.) Cheers!