nightmare cast list

coolismo · 01-23-2002, 06:20 AM

My wifes pregnant and cant sleep so we spend a lot of time on things like this....
If you had an absolutley nightmare cast list for FOTR what would it be. Imagine the front page of Empire revealed the cast of Jackson's upcoming movie as..

Frodo: Michael Jackson...with Bubbles the chimp to provide on screen comic moments for the younger members of the audience.

Boromir: Hulk Hogan (does a clothesline on the orcs)

Aaragorn: Pee Wee Herman.(come out from behind that tree)

Legolas: Fabian

Gimli: TripleH

Merry and Pippin: cheech and chong

Sam: Charlie Drake (Uk only will know him)

Bill: Scooby doo. The Return will also have a more 'scooby' ending. 'Hey RRRaggy Sharkey is Saruman the White.' 'Yeah and I woulda gottaway with it too if it wasn't for you pesky fellowship.'

Nazgul: U2

etc, any nightmares?

Laurelyn · 01-23-2002, 07:59 AM

AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *runs around in terrified circles at the thought of how awful that would be*

Captain Stern · 01-23-2002, 08:34 AM

Triple H as Gimli LOL

Arathorn · 01-23-2002, 12:36 PM

Mr T as Gandalf: "I pity you fools!, Fly"

Rob Schneider as any hobbit that shows up in the fillm except for Frodo: Gandalf will probably side with Saruman after seeing the Shire in this predicament. And besides, he's got hobbit hair...

Regarding Frodo, we can try David Radcliff: instead of saying "Oh Sam.." or "I do not wish to carry the ring" he can just keep on saying "Whaaat?"

We've got two choices for Aragorn and Boromir:
a. Bill of Team Guido in the amazing Race as Aragorn and
Joel of Team Guido in the amazing Race as Boromir
b. Kevin of Amazing Race as Aragorn and Drew of Amazing Race as Boromir

Jim Carrey as Tom Bombadil and Gollum

Jenny McCarthy as Arwen

Leonard Nimoy as Elrond

Courtney Love as Galadriel

Mike Wazowsky as Sauron

"Nelson" as all the other male elves including legolas

Play Girl · 01-23-2002, 02:20 PM

Merry and Pipin: Bill and Ted about to take part in the "Execelant" fellowship with a "boegus" journey to Mordor.
Play Girl

ragamuffin92 · 01-23-2002, 03:12 PM

I'll have to think about this, but for Merry and Pippin in a take-off of LOtR (a la Moxie and Pepsi), I'd love to see the guys who played Lenny and Squiggy (Michael McKean and and David L. Lander), on Laverne and Shirley. I wasn't a big fan of that show, but those guys always cracked me up.
I'll try to come up with a list later.

afro-elf · 01-23-2002, 06:57 PM

Gandalf = William Shatner : after fighting the balrog he comes back with a new hair piece.

Aragorn = Slyvester Stallone : "Yo Arwen..."

Arwen = Liv Tyler: DOH! Sorry about that.

Gimli= Mike Tyson: When fighting orcs will try to bite their ears off.

Treebeard = Keenau Reeves: They are both pretty wooden.

The Hobbits= The Tele-tubbies

The Nazgul= The Backstreey Boys and Nsync in one band. What could be more horrifying?

The Mouth of Sauron= Mick Jagger. Well look at his mouth.

Elrond = Chris Tucker. It is just a horrible thought.

The Balrog= Barney

Galadriel= Denis Rodman. Well his is tall and wears dresses.

Middle Earth= Oprah Winfrey. She's big enough.

Legolas= a 12" ( 30 cm) sprite with wings and REALLY pointy ears and pointy shoes. dressed all in green.

Gollum=Jar Jar Binks

emplynx · 01-23-2002, 07:17 PM

*hands coolismo a valium*

Quazar · 01-23-2002, 07:28 PM

An All WWF Nightmare

Saruman Vince McMann

Gandalf Rick Flair 'Whoooo'

Frodo Spike Dudley

Merry X-Pac

Pippin Shane McMann

Aragorn Stone Cold 'WHAT'

Boromir Triple H

Arwen Chyna

Galadriel Stephine McMann

Balarog Andre The Giant

Gimili Rikishi

Elrond The Rock 'Can you smell'

Legolas Chris Jerico

Gollum Hulk hogan

Treebeard The Undertaker

the Mouth Kane
Of Sauron

Feraway Hawkbriar · 01-23-2002, 08:13 PM

...

Galadriel- Britney spears

Arwen- Christina agulara

Aragorn- Ricky martin

Borimir- Kid rock

Gandalf- Hue Heffner (the guy that runs playboy,He's not an actor and its breaking the music people chain, but still...)

Legolas- Micheal Jackson

Gimli- Eminem

The hobbits- Any boy band

Elrond- Elton John

Meldrath of Mordor · 01-23-2002, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by afro-elf

Arwen = Liv Tyler: DOH! Sorry about that.

Lol, thats great!

A little make-up and I dont think Leonard Nimoy would have made that bad of an Elrond.

Arathorn · 01-24-2002, 01:47 AM

How about Billy Crystal and in a 12 hour monologue complete with costumes talking and fighting with himself.

Of course, people will just think he's just doing Gollum half the time.

FrodoFriend · 01-24-2002, 02:01 AM

Gandalf - Chris Rock

Aragorn - Tim Allen

Galadriel - Rosie O'Donnell

Frodo - MacCauley Culkin

Sam - Jake Lloyd

Boromir - guy from Crocodile Dundee

Arwen - Whoopi Goldberg

Merry - Brad Pitt

*shudder*

athelas · 01-24-2002, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Aragorn: Pee Wee Herman.(come out from behind that tree)

Shudder....that sure brings back nightmarish childhood memories...

what about this:

Boromir/Faramir/Denethor=Mr Bean (no, I don't mean Sean Bean here)

Sauron=Michael Jackson (One Ring to rule the pop-charts, One Ring to be Invincible, One Ring to bring more plastic and form me a new face.)

The Fellowship=Eddie Murphy clones.(remember the farting Klumps?)

All orcs/uruk-hai=a1, westlife, bsb, nsync and all the other one-hit boybands which sprouted up last year, cloned to form an army.

Mouth of Sauron= i think Chris Tucker fits this to a T.

Witch King= Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura outfit. ( Ace Ventura theme plays when he appears)

The shire= teletubby land, complete with monster coneys and funny speakers which pop out of the ground. (time for tubby bye-bye...time for tubby bye-bye)

Celeborn and Galadriel= Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet ( im flying celeborn, im flying...)

Legolas= a happy sprite that looks like a christmas decoration

***Earniel*** · 01-24-2002, 04:02 PM

If you lot are trying to scare the wits out of me, you have to try harder, I'm rolling over the floor here, choking with laughter.

Rána Eressëa · 01-24-2002, 09:06 PM

Gandalf = George Carlin (Need I say more?)

Frodo = Adam Sandler (Think: The Magical, Always-Cold Water of Galadriel's phial . . . )

Sam = Rob Schneider

Merry & Pippin = Charlie Sheen & Chris Tucker (Money Talks, anyone? "Hey, yo, what's that?" "A pint." "Those come in pints?! How come you ain't tell me? I bet you stole them diamonds from my pocket last night too just so you could buy dat pint. You know, I'ma call da cops on you. Yeah, you done be stealin' my diamonds just so you can buy a pin--" "Pippin?" "What chu want now? My rubies? Yeah, you knew I had 'em -- you know they don't call me Rubie Rod for nothin'. I knew I couldn't trust you--")

Legolas = Leonardo DiCaprio ("Uh-uh. There is no way I'm getting on that ship. You know what happened last time I got on a ship.")

Gimli = Ashton Kutcher ("Dude . . . where's my axe?") or Tom Cruise ("SHOW ME THE ORC-IES!")

Aragorn = Keanu Reeves ("I am the Chosen One . . .")

Arwen = Lucy Lawless (Xenarwen . . . *snickers*)

Boromir = Harry Potter ("The Ring is MINE!")

The Mouth of Sauron = Steven Tyler (Mick Jagger ain't got nothin' on him.)

The Nazgul = 'N Sync & Backstreet Boys . . . minus Kevin (That's makes nine.)

Elrond = Agent Smith ("The Ring is of great importance to us, Mr. Frodo . . . and you will tell us where it-- *pauses* . . . did I just say that out loud?")

Galadriel = Britney Spears ("I am now, like, going to read your minds or whatever . . . *silence* . . . My God, like, why does everyone always think that question?! Yes, they're real!")

Liviaine · 01-24-2002, 10:00 PM

The Nazgul= 'N Sync and Backstreet Boys

Definitely. Feraway Hawkbriar, I agree with several of your choices. What a nightmare!

CardenIAntauraNauco · 01-24-2002, 11:46 PM

Elrond-Rick Moranis

Arathorn · 01-25-2002, 01:30 AM

James "Sully" Sullivan =Balrog
Casey Kasem again as Sam

coolismo · 01-25-2002, 04:37 AM

Jim Morrison as Denethor...Come on baby light my pyre.
Gonna set my heir on.....................FAAAAAYYYYYYYRRRRRREEE

dedddeedidlydidlydedeedahadhadadadah FAAAAYYYYRE

01-23-2002, 06:20 AM	#1
coolismo Enting Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: south england Posts: 93	nightmare cast list My wifes pregnant and cant sleep so we spend a lot of time on things like this.... If you had an absolutley nightmare cast list for FOTR what would it be. Imagine the front page of Empire revealed the cast of Jackson's upcoming movie as.. Frodo: Michael Jackson...with Bubbles the chimp to provide on screen comic moments for the younger members of the audience. Boromir: Hulk Hogan (does a clothesline on the orcs) Aaragorn: Pee Wee Herman.(come out from behind that tree) Legolas: Fabian Gimli: TripleH Merry and Pippin: cheech and chong Sam: Charlie Drake (Uk only will know him) Bill: Scooby doo. The Return will also have a more 'scooby' ending. 'Hey RRRaggy Sharkey is Saruman the White.' 'Yeah and I woulda gottaway with it too if it wasn't for you pesky fellowship.' Nazgul: U2 etc, any nightmares?

01-23-2002, 07:59 AM	#2
Laurelyn Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Valinor, right next to Telperion . . . what did you expect, Michigan? Posts: 1,315	AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! runs around in terrified circles at the thought of how awful that would be __________________ The Third Age of Entmoot has begun. Angel of music, guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory! The country I eat and spend the day in is by no means the country I sleep and dream in. Define patriotism. Hold the boat, you spastic monkey! ~ Elenka

01-23-2002, 08:34 AM	#3
Captain Stern Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 319	RE: nightmare cast list Triple H as Gimli LOL __________________ Then hate overcame Fëanor's fear, and he cursed Melkor and bade him be gone, saying 'Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos!' And he shut the doors of his house in the face of the mightiest of all dwellers in Eä.

01-23-2002, 12:36 PM	#4
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	Mr T as Gandalf: "I pity you fools!, Fly" Rob Schneider as any hobbit that shows up in the fillm except for Frodo: Gandalf will probably side with Saruman after seeing the Shire in this predicament. And besides, he's got hobbit hair... Regarding Frodo, we can try David Radcliff: instead of saying "Oh Sam.." or "I do not wish to carry the ring" he can just keep on saying "Whaaat?" We've got two choices for Aragorn and Boromir: a. Bill of Team Guido in the amazing Race as Aragorn and Joel of Team Guido in the amazing Race as Boromir b. Kevin of Amazing Race as Aragorn and Drew of Amazing Race as Boromir Jim Carrey as Tom Bombadil and Gollum Jenny McCarthy as Arwen Leonard Nimoy as Elrond Courtney Love as Galadriel Mike Wazowsky as Sauron "Nelson" as all the other male elves including legolas __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

01-23-2002, 02:20 PM	#5
Play Girl Elven Warrior Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: If I told you I would have to kill you Posts: 159	Merry and Pipin: Bill and Ted about to take part in the "Execelant" fellowship with a "boegus" journey to Mordor. Play Girl __________________ "Off the Record On the Q-T And very HUSH HUSH" Frodo lives!

01-23-2002, 03:12 PM	#6
ragamuffin92 Elven Warrior Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: New York State Posts: 309	I'll have to think about this, but for Merry and Pippin in a take-off of LOtR (a la Moxie and Pepsi), I'd love to see the guys who played Lenny and Squiggy (Michael McKean and and David L. Lander), on Laverne and Shirley. I wasn't a big fan of that show, but those guys always cracked me up. I'll try to come up with a list later. __________________ FRODO LIVES!! (sung to the tune of "My Boyfriend's Back") Now, Gandalf's back, and you're gonna be in trouble (Hey-la, hey-la---Now, Gandalf's back) Soon, Barad-dur is gonna be a pile of rubble (Hey-la, hey-la---Now, Gandalf's back)

01-23-2002, 06:57 PM	#7
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Gandalf = William Shatner : after fighting the balrog he comes back with a new hair piece. Aragorn = Slyvester Stallone : "Yo Arwen..." Arwen = Liv Tyler: DOH! Sorry about that. Gimli= Mike Tyson: When fighting orcs will try to bite their ears off. Treebeard = Keenau Reeves: They are both pretty wooden. The Hobbits= The Tele-tubbies The Nazgul= The Backstreey Boys and Nsync in one band. What could be more horrifying? The Mouth of Sauron= Mick Jagger. Well look at his mouth. Elrond = Chris Tucker. It is just a horrible thought. The Balrog= Barney Galadriel= Denis Rodman. Well his is tall and wears dresses. Middle Earth= Oprah Winfrey. She's big enough. Legolas= a 12" ( 30 cm) sprite with wings and REALLY pointy ears and pointy shoes. dressed all in green. Gollum=Jar Jar Binks __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer. Last edited by afro-elf : 01-23-2002 at 07:00 PM.

01-23-2002, 07:17 PM	#8
emplynx Self-Appointed Lord of the Free Peoples of the General Messages Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,214	hands coolismo a valium

01-23-2002, 07:28 PM	#9
Quazar Hobbit Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Piedmont North Carolina Posts: 33	An All WWF Nightmare Saruman Vince McMann Gandalf Rick Flair 'Whoooo' Frodo Spike Dudley Merry X-Pac Pippin Shane McMann Aragorn Stone Cold 'WHAT' Boromir Triple H Arwen Chyna Galadriel Stephine McMann Balarog Andre The Giant Gimili Rikishi Elrond The Rock 'Can you smell' Legolas Chris Jerico Gollum Hulk hogan Treebeard The Undertaker the Mouth Kane Of Sauron

01-23-2002, 08:13 PM	#10
Feraway Hawkbriar Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: California Posts: 348	... Galadriel- Britney spears Arwen- Christina agulara Aragorn- Ricky martin Borimir- Kid rock Gandalf- Hue Heffner (the guy that runs playboy,He's not an actor and its breaking the music people chain, but still...) Legolas- Micheal Jackson Gimli- Eminem The hobbits- Any boy band Elrond- Elton John __________________ "The barks goes ever on and on out from the dog where they began. He's out there crapping on my lawn. Till I hit him with my van."

01-24-2002, 01:47 AM	#12
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	How about Billy Crystal and in a 12 hour monologue complete with costumes talking and fighting with himself. Of course, people will just think he's just doing Gollum half the time. __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

01-24-2002, 02:01 AM	#13
FrodoFriend Halfwitted Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Eryn Vorn Posts: 1,659	Gandalf - Chris Rock Aragorn - Tim Allen Galadriel - Rosie O'Donnell Frodo - MacCauley Culkin Sam - Jake Lloyd Boromir - guy from Crocodile Dundee Arwen - Whoopi Goldberg Merry - Brad Pitt shudder __________________ Fingolfin lives! ... in my finger! The Crossroads of Arda - Warning. Halfwit content. Not appropriate for people with IQ of over 18. The Fellowship of the Message Board Nyáréonié - The Tale of Tears

01-24-2002, 04:02 PM	#15
*Earniel* The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium) Posts: 14,363	If you lot are trying to scare the wits out of me, you have to try harder, I'm rolling over the floor here, choking with laughter.

01-24-2002, 09:06 PM	#16
Rána Eressëa The Rogue Elf Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,722	Gandalf = George Carlin (Need I say more?) Frodo = Adam Sandler (Think: The Magical, Always-Cold Water of Galadriel's phial . . . ) Sam = Rob Schneider Merry & Pippin = Charlie Sheen & Chris Tucker (Money Talks, anyone? "Hey, yo, what's that?" "A pint." "Those come in pints?! How come you ain't tell me? I bet you stole them diamonds from my pocket last night too just so you could buy dat pint. You know, I'ma call da cops on you. Yeah, you done be stealin' my diamonds just so you can buy a pin--" "Pippin?" "What chu want now? My rubies? Yeah, you knew I had 'em -- you know they don't call me Rubie Rod for nothin'. I knew I couldn't trust you--") Legolas = Leonardo DiCaprio ("Uh-uh. There is no way I'm getting on that ship. You know what happened last time I got on a ship.") Gimli = Ashton Kutcher ("Dude . . . where's my axe?") or Tom Cruise ("SHOW ME THE ORC-IES!") Aragorn = Keanu Reeves ("I am the Chosen One . . .") Arwen = Lucy Lawless (Xenarwen . . . snickers) Boromir = Harry Potter ("The Ring is MINE!") The Mouth of Sauron = Steven Tyler (Mick Jagger ain't got nothin' on him.) The Nazgul = 'N Sync & Backstreet Boys . . . minus Kevin (That's makes nine.) Elrond = Agent Smith ("The Ring is of great importance to us, Mr. Frodo . . . and you will tell us where it-- pauses . . . did I just say that out loud?") Galadriel = Britney Spears ("I am now, like, going to read your minds or whatever . . . silence . . . My God, like, why does everyone always think that question?! Yes, they're real!") Last edited by Rána Eressëa : 01-24-2002 at 09:11 PM.

01-24-2002, 10:00 PM	#17
Liviaine Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Ithilien Posts: 203	The Nazgul= 'N Sync and Backstreet Boys Definitely. Feraway Hawkbriar, I agree with several of your choices. What a nightmare!

01-24-2002, 11:46 PM	#18
CardenIAntauraNauco Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: rural oklahoma Posts: 324	Elrond-Rick Moranis __________________ "We will have peace","Yes we will have peace...we will have peace when you and all your works have perished - and the works of your dark lord to whom you would deliver us. You are a liar,Saruman,and a corrupter of men's hearts. You hold out your hand to me and I percieve only a finger of the claw of Mordor. Cruel and cold! Even if your war on me was just - as it was not,for were you ten times as wise you would have no right to rule me and mine, for your own profit you desired-even so, what will you say of your Torches in westfold and the children that lie dead there? And they hewed Hama's body before the gates of Hornburg, after he was dead. When you hang from a gibbet at your window for the sport of your own crows, I will have peace with you and Orthanc. So much for the House of Eorl. A lesser son of greater Sires am I, but I do not need to lick your fingers. Turn elsewither for I fear your voice has lost it's charm.

01-25-2002, 01:30 AM	#19
Arathorn Bard of Mangled Songs Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: West of Middle Earth...oh alright...Manila Posts: 2,679	James "Sully" Sullivan =Balrog Casey Kasem again as Sam __________________ Power attracts the corruptible. Absolute power attracts the absolutely corruptible. -Missionaria Protectiva, Frank Herbert *Accio, Ash Nazg!* Elennuru s?la lúmenn' omentielvo* (The Death Star shines on the hour of our meeting) - Darth Arathorn Put aside the ranger... Start looking for Mumakil action figures...

01-25-2002, 04:37 AM	#20
coolismo Enting Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: south england Posts: 93	Jim Morrison as Denethor...Come on baby light my pyre. Gonna set my heir on.....................FAAAAAYYYYYYYRRRRRREEE dedddeedidlydidlydedeedahadhadadadah FAAAAYYYYRE

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