Our readers have come up with some witty and amusing parodies to well-known songs, now with a Middle-earth twist.

Orcs of the Land of Mordor
by Daniel Rodriguez (The One Ring)
Parody of: "Knights of the Round Table" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Frodo and Sam look up at the high tower of Cirith Ungol, high above them, when suddenly.....

*ba-dum, ba-dum bum bum*

We're orcs of the land of Mordor,
We dance along the corridor
We do routines, and cut out spleens,
And attack the good guys' border
We dine here in Cirith Ungol
We eat bread with mold quite fungal.

*dum dum dum dum dum dum da, dum dum da, dum dum da, dum dum dum dum dum dum da, dum dum dum dum daaaa*

We're orcs of the land of Mordor,
We kill when we're given the order
But many times, we're given rhymes,
That are to sing quite poor(der)
We guard here at Cirith Ungol,
And we never, ever, bungle.

*orcs tap-dance along the corridors, play tunes on each other's helmets, etc.*

All are tough and sure ter
Chop up your wife and dorter,
We kill the elves, and men themselves,
Despite the fact we're shorter,
We have fun in the land of Mordor

*an extremely fat orc gets up and sings*

I'm very rarely bored(ur)

*dum dum dum dum dum da-da, dum da-da da-dum, daaaaaa!*

Frodo: No, on second thought, let us not go to Mordor. It is a silly place.

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A HERO IN LORD OF THE RINGS
by: Nick Tam (IronParrot)
Parody of: "I am the very model of a modern major general" from a Gilbert and Sullivan opera

Frodo:
I am the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings
Though I am not at all related to the line of Elven-Kings
I was only a hobbit living in the safety of the Shire
Until the day that Gandalf came, threw Bilbo's Ring into the fire.

Then it was I learned about the history of Barad-dur
And understood the actions of the ancient warrior Isildur
I was then beset with something greater than the greatest test
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became my quest.

Chorus:
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became his quest
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became his quest
To take the Ring to Mordor and destroy it then became his quest

Frodo:
Day and night I journeyed with my friend and servant Sam Gamgee
As the Riders clothed in Black rode on the trail and followed me
But yet we managed to elude them, proving among many things
I am the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Chorus:
But yet they managed to elude them, proving among many things
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Frodo: Then in the forest we were caught, entangled by that Old Man Willow
Thankfully, we were then rescued by that ol' Tom Bombadillo
But then trouble came again, now in the form of Barrow-Wights
And it was quite a while before we got to safety late one night.

We arrived in Bree that night, and welcomed by old Barliman
But watching us from all around were Southern spies of Saruman
Though we all had a lot of fun, when I began to stand and sing
I slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.

Chorus:
He slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.
He slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.
He slipped and fell and in the process accidentally wore the Ring.

Frodo:
Surely we would have been finished if it weren't for Aragorn
Of the line of Elendil, a Northern Ranger he was born
He was the rightful heir to Gondor and one day he would be King
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Chorus:
He was the rightful heir to Gondor and one day he would be King
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Frodo:
Though I was stabbed at Weathertop I still made it to Rivendell
Where I met with Bilbo - did I ever have a tale to tell
We then set off from Elrond's home, now a company of Nine
And Gandalf, he then led us into Moria, the dwarven mines.

Gandalf fought the Balrog, but he fell into the dark abyss
Aragorn led us from there on 'ere the quest should go amiss
We soon met with Galadriel in Lorien, the Golden Wood
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as we could.

Chorus:
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as they could.
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as they could.
And once again set off on foot to Mordor as fast as they could.

Frodo:
Soon we were attacked by orcs, but that was not my greatest fear
Because he tried to take the Ring, did Denethor's son Boromir
I escaped on boat with Sam, thus once again establishing
I am the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

Chorus: He escaped on boat with Sam, thus once again establishing
He is the very model of a hero in Lord of the Rings.

The 14 Days of Hobbit Day
by arynetrek
Parody of: The 12 Days of Christmas

On the ____ day of Hobbit Day my Hobbit gave to me...
- 14 Valar watching
- 13 Dwarves a-wand'ring
- 12 dozen guests
- 11 mithril treasures
- 10 Rangers roaming
- Eowyn, Nazgul-slaying (because we certainly don't want to give people Black Riders!)
- 8 Elf-maids singing
- 7 Stars and Stones
- 6 ships a-sailing
- 5 Unnamed Rings! (see the "1,3,7,9 - where's 5?" thread)
- 4 Hobbits on a Quest
- 3 Elven-rings
- 2 hairy feet
And a seedling of the White Tree!