The Pants Game

I am sorry for inflicting these on you, but some friends and I were having a heyday with them! :lol: Some are pretty bad but they are all at least a little bit funny.

"I pass the pants. I shall diminish and go into the west"

"Fool of a Took! Throw your pants in next time!"

"Pantssesss, Presssciousss! Pantssesss!"

"I wish I had taken Elronds Pants," Pippin said to Sam. "I am no good after all."

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve pants. Can you give it to them?"

"And now at last it comes. You will give me the Pants freely!"

"Your oath is now fulfilled, go back and trouble the pants no more"

"There's only one pants in Bywater, and that's the Green"

"Gil-galad was the pants-king, of him the harpers sadly sing, the last whose pants were fair and free"

"Tall ships and tall kings...what brought they? Seven pants..."

"In the land of Mordor where the Pants lie"

"...my love is given to the pants. And my heart forebodes that soon they will pass away for ever."

"this thing all things devours.. birds beasts trees pants"

"I sang of pants, of pants of gold, and pants of gold I wore"

"Everything?" said Gandalf, looking closely at Bilbo. "The pants as well? You agreed to that, you remember."

"I am old, but not yet dotard!.. as you can see, I can still wield my pants!!!"

"The Pants of the king are the Pants of a Healer"

"A curse on the stiff pants of the Dwarves!...
Maybe we should say, a curse on the stiff pants of the elves!"

"He should not vow to walk in the dark, who has not seen the pants."

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the pants darken."

"Do not meddle in the pants of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."

"Strider! Him with a throne and golden pants!"

Maybe some more pants later....

The Fellowship of the Pants
The Two Pants
The Return of the Pants

"If I wanted the Pants, I could have it NOW!"

"Well, I'm pants."

"What have I got in my pants?"

"Open, in the Pants of Mordor!"

"You cannot pass, Pants of Udun."

In a hole in the pants there lived a hobbit.

This tale grew in the telling, until it became a history of the Great War of the Pants.

J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Pants.

'The vengeance of Sauron lives on, though he may be dead,' he said to Elendur, who stood beside him. 'There is weaving and fabric here! We have no hope of help: Moria and Lorien are now far behind, and Thranduil four days' march ahead.' 'And we bear pants of worth beyond all reckoning,' said Elendur; for he was in his father's wardrobe.

Then they lifted up Turin, and found that his pants had broken asunder. But Elves and Men gathered there great store of thread, and they made a mighty patching, and the Dragon was entombed in the pockets. Turin they laid in a high mound where he had fallen, and the shards of his pants were laid beside him. And when all was done, the Elves sang a lament for the Wardrobe of Hurin, and a great grey stone was set upon the mound, and thereon was carven in runes of Doriath: TURIN TURAMBAR DAGNIR WRANGLERGA

LOL! I love your last one, IP :lol:

"The Pants go ever on and on
Down from the waist where they began
Now far ahead the Pants have gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing them with eager feet,
Until they join some larger way
Where many Pants and trousers meet.
And whither then? I cannot say."

"Pantsdropping, sir? I don't follow you, begging your pardon. There ain't no pants at Bag End, and that's a fact."

One pair to rule them all, One pair to find them,
One pair of pants to bring them all and in the darkness dress them
In the land of Mordor where the Levis lie.

Three jeans for the elven-queens under the sky
Seven for the Gap-lords in their malls of stone
Nine for Bugle Boys doomed to fly (get it? fly? yeah, it's not funny)
One for the Levi's Lord on his khaki throne
In the Pants of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
One Pair to rule them all, One Pair to find them,
One Pair to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Pants of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

..In Angband Morgoth forged for himself a great Pants of iron, and he called hiimself King of the Pants. In token of this he set the Silmarils in his Pants.

"Behold Isildur's Pants!" said Elrond.

'Radagast the Brown!' laughed Saruman, and he no longer concealed his pants. 'Radagast the Pants! Radagast the Simple! Radagast the Fool! Yet he had just the pants to play the part that I set him. For you have come, and that was all the purpose of my pants. And here you will stay, Gandalf the Grey, and rest from journeys. For I am Saruman, the Wise, Saruman Pants-maker, Saruman of Many Pants! Mwahahahaha!'

Mwahahahaha? :lol:

An Elberith Pants!

"I do not hold with wearing pants."

OMG, that was brilliant!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Too funny, folks, I love it, but you make me feel unclever in the extreme!
Let's see what I can fo with this:
When winter first begins to bite
and stones crack in the frosty night,
when pools are black and trees are bare,
"tis evil in the wilds to fare without pants.

Yeah, lame, I know

I sit beside the fire and think
of all the pants that I have seen,
of denim and of sheerest silk,
in summers that have been;

Of wool and of corduroy
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my furs,

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when holes come without a patch
that I shall ever see.

For still there are so many pants
that I will never leave:
in every mall at every chance
there is a different weave.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will wear a fabric
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of pants there were before,
I listen for the returning feet
of my tailor at my door.

Bravo! Well done.

Naur pants edraith ammen!

3 pants for the elven-kings under the whores,
7 for the dwarf-lords with their balls of stone;
9 for mortal-men doomed to lie
1 ring to call them all, one ring to find them
One ring to call them all
and in the darkness bind them.
I guess that's a little inapropriate but who the hell cares?

Well maybe a little. I'll leave that post alone but try to tone it down a little in the future

Seek for the cuff that was broken,
In Imladris it dwells.
There your pants shall be mended,
To be stronger than Morgul spells.
There shall be shown a token,
That pants are near at hand,
For Levi's Bane shall waken,
And the overalls forth shall stand.

All that have pants do not travel,
Not all who wander have pants.
The pants that are strong don't unravel,
Deep slacks are not harmed by the dance.
From the tailors some pants shall be mended,
A light from the pocket shall spring,
Renewed shall be zipper that was bended,
The pantless again shall be king.