Fellowship of the Ringwraiths

[Gordis]

Gandalf looked up at the great Eagle. His heart soared, but some doubt nagged at his senses. Something about the Eagle was not right, something he couldn't put a finger on. However, it was not the time to hesitate. He allowed the eagle to get hold of the collar of his tattered grey robe.

Grinning evilly with his huge beak the eagle ascended majestically. Higher and higher it flew until it reached the top of the tower. With a harsh mocking cry he dropped the Grey Fool on the roof.

A figure in dizzyingly multicolour robes awaited him there.
"You should be wary of Raddy's genetically modified eagles" grinned Saruman. "Haven't you noticed he had scales instead of feathers on his head?"

[Gordis]

"What could that be? A banner?" wondered Viv looking at the ugly embroidery.

"Looks like a cow", observed Eight.

"I thought that was the land of horse-boys, not cow-boys!" laughed Five.

"Barbarians have no artistic skill. The glory of Numenor is forgotten", said Wikkie darkly.

Gordis hang her head in shame. She was never good at needlework herself.

Eight put Lily's guts back in place and closed the long wound with even green stitches. Gothmog, stubbed in the heart, needed even less attention.

The Fellowship was surprisingly quiet. By the end of the day the wraiths started to miss Lily's screeches.

"We shall stay for one more day here, until they are fit to travel," said Wikkie gravely.

Far away in the Dark Tower the Eye has woken and was searching for them.

[Butterbeer]

The Fellowship was surprisingly quiet. By the end of the day the wraiths started to miss Lily's screeches.

... Five (or eight? definately not 2 or 1 or 9 ! ) sheepishly broke out the wine that... in turn had been erroneuosly (in terms of sense and Wikkie's sensibility) had been replaced in place of the the com u tir, secretly secreted into this pack ... by ....Lily .... ( ... where IS Olmer?) ...

... all was quiet .....

* SFX: ticking bomb sound* ...

[CrazySquirrel]

At sunset the next day the six wraiths were woken from their undead slumber by an ear-splitting shreak
"Why do I have GREEN stitches on my stomach?"

"Welcome back,Lily" shreaked the Fellowship in delight.
Gothmog, now fully recovered, came up and gave Lily a brotherly kiss.

"Now let's hurry to the bank, the orks are waiting with our bags and cloaks. Sau is getting impatient, I feel it" said Wikki.

The Fellowship raced to the meeting place

[Butterbeer]

sadly there were no bags there ... the evil little runts of orcs nervously told wikkie that the 'terrible twins' ( the other 2 wraiths ) were to meet us and were bringing everything else along ......

"right i've had enough of this!" shouted Wikkie as loud as he could, whilst wryly observing the effect this had on the party of orcs ...

" Lets have a piss up!"

*bottles were uncorked* ....

[Gordis]

"At least they have brought the booze" observed Five, finishing the first bottle and looking with keen interest at the death throes of the orcs. Wikkie's screech had its usual effect.

Gordis was crying silently over her bottle wiping the tears with ugly Rohan banner. She missed her omp-u-tir terribly.

"Don't ye cry, Gor" said Goth sympathetically. "What good has this compu-tir anyways?"

"It has been so interesting, these talks in the spirit world..." wailed Gor."I miss them so much. Now I wouldn't know whether the barlogs have wings..."

"Well you can go and ask ol' Nauri himself, when we pass by Moria" advised Eight.

"We shall have the bags soon enough. No need to wail needlessly", Wikkie said irritably.

Five shifted uneasily and opened another bottle.

[Butterbeer]

Five used his free hand to light up a smoke, only putting the bottle down to anxiously twiddle his fingers before looking guilty, this guilty look being a full-on, straight at you our observer in this reality kinda 'you don't need miss marple' guilty look, and then again picking up the bottle and attempting to whistle tunelessly and drink!

[Lotesse]

"What seems to be YOUR problem, Five? You're acting like you've got ants in your pants." For the past few minutes, Wikkie had been eyeballing Five with quietly concealed suspicion. "Is there something on your mind? Speak!"
Nervously, Five shot a quick glance behind him. "Me? What? Nothing, I was just thinking maybe we should get back on the road, that's all. What?"
Wikkie said nothing, but held Five in a penetrating gaze that to Five seemed to last an age. The intense moment was broken by a twittering giggle-screech from Viv, who had, unbeknownst to the others, been steadily putting away a staggering amount of wine and had become tipsy, in a cute and funny way. The others were delighted to see her like this; it truly was amusing to see Viv on one - she'd always been the "baby" of the bunch.

[Grey_Wolf]

Meanwhile, Gandalf was back in his Penthouse Prison. Walking back and forth, worriting about Frodo. Had he got off on his perilous mission on time. Had Sam been his usual talkative self, and if so, Sam could really expect just punishment for his loose tongue.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Meanwhile in Dol Guldur.

"Is all ready Mor?" asked Khamûl.
"Yes. We have 7 black rags for the others. 50 boxes of strawberries, and 50 bottles of champagne," replied Mor.
"Only 50? We don't know how long this will take. Make it 75 of each," grinned Khamûl. Mor left the room in search of more strawberries and champagne. As soon as he left Khamûl went over to a small table in the corner of the room, and pulled a black sheet from it, revealing a shiny orb.
"What is the news?" said the orb.
"We and Mor are almosst ready to leave to meet Wikkie and the othersss. I will take the palantir with me and keep you conssstantly updated. We plan to sssearch the Anduin Vale, and if we find no sssignsss there, we will move gradually wessst and north, towardsss Imladrisss, and your friend Elrond," hissed Khamûl.
"Very good," replied what seemed the be Sauron. "What of your quest to the nearby Dwarvin Realm?"
"A failure m'lord. Three chancccesss I gave the to co-operate, but they ssstill denied any knowledge of Baginnsss."
"Hmmm. They will have to be punished. Double the work of your Orc Pits. Have 5000 Orcs and 500 trolls attack Dale and the Lonely Mountain. What of Gollum. It is long since you reported, I still have no news of him."
"He essscaped m'lord. When we were killing the elven ssscum, he disappeared and we failed to find him."
"Ahh, perhaps he will lead us to the Ring eventually."
At this moment there was a noise out side and Mor shouting.
"Got to go m'lord. Will report ssssoon," said Khamûl, wipping the black sheet over the palantir.
"All is ready. We have all the champagne, strawberries, robes and nine Balack Mearas from Rohan, I had our orcs plunder the Edoras stables for them," said Mor.
"Very good. We leave immediatly," replied Khamûl.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later the two Nazgul draw near to the river.
"I asssssume to sssorted transssport acrosssss the river," hissed Khamûl. "You know I can not abide water."
"Well, umm, yes, about that," murmered Mor.
"You did do it?" said Khamûl
"Or yes, it's just that I could onle get a small raft at such small notice," said Mor.
"That'sssssss fine," said Khamûl, hissing more than normal and with fear in his eyes.
"Here we go," said Morm walking to a nearby bush and pulling a small wooden raft out. At this Khamûl froze.
"'C'mon sir. We have to meet Wikkie and the others by midday tomorrow," called Mor. Khamûl walked over to the raft slowly and quickly got on and sat in the middle, muttering something along the lines of 'I want my Mummy'.
Mor grinned at his superior's fear of water, and pushed off towards the nearby opposite bank. Five minutes later the raft hit dry land and Khamûl jumped off and kissed the ground. Mor returned the northeren bank to get the horses while Khamûl was left to recover. An hour alter all the horses and luggage were safely over the river and the Nazgûl set off again. After a late dinner and early breakfast of strawberries and champagne the two Nazgûl reached the Anduin Vale before midday, and waited for the others to arrive.

[CrazySquirrel]

When Khamul and Mor reached Celebrant field, the appointed meeting place, there was no sign of the others. The two wraiths helped themselves to some more strawberries and wine and settled to wait.
"Where is the Witchy?" growled Khamul
"Well, don't panic, you know how it goes when you have girls in your team" replied the ever-cheerful Mor."And Wikkie has got all the three of them with him"
"That's because you Western fools are never able to keep women in line" snapped Khamul and opened another bottle.

Meanwhile a few miles downriver a party went full-swing. Viv was dancing in the middle of hooting and screeching company waving Rohan banner like an oriental shawl. Lily and Gor sat on either side of now cheerful Wikkie and watched each other warily like two cats.

Five wished the party would never end...

[Grey_Wolf]

Khamul and Mor waited, waited and waited but no one appeared. Finally Witchie arrived and they set off to find the Shire.

[Grey_Wolf]

Their search took them between the Misty Mountains and Lorien but they failed miserably to find this elusive country.

[Gordis]

Meanwhile in the Dark Tower Sau was peering into his Palantir. As usual he saw his wraiths drinking and relaxing. Sau gritted his pointed teeth, rubbed his Eye and looked again. There they were, seven of them, including the Morgul-Lord. Sau watched seething how the Dread Captain, the Shadow of Despair sat with Lily on his lap and poured wine down Gor's throat, while she spluttered and giggled. The Eye burned red. Sau banged his fist on the table. Mount Doom erupted, killing orcs stationed at Sammath Naur by the pyroclastic flow .

[Butterbeer]

Originally Posted by Grey_Wolf

Their search took them between the Misty Mountains and Lorien but they failed miserably to find this elusive country.

.... Dreamed wikkie that night after the big party Five had not wanted to end .... a big cheshire cat smile on his face ....

Viv was still dancing to who knows what beat ?

while somewhere really quite near ... Khamul after answering a call of nature, was pulling up his 'Judas' designer underwear and worrying if anyone would notice the fraud he had pulled reference the horses ... they were fast but only one, (wikkie' s) was a mearas ... possibly!

Special K, muttering islamic law under his breath, twiddled his thumbs anxiously ...


Khamul was worried.. .where were they? had Sau or the other 7 plus Mor??? discovered his deceipt?

where should his true loyalties lie? Would they notice the horses weren't Mearas?


Viv danced on ... till the dreaded sunrise threw its baleful intense hatred upon the fellowship ...

[Grey_Wolf]

The dancing continued through the day and they still had 30 bottles of wine left which simply had to be consumed and packages of brie et with the wine, so the party continued indefinitely.

The Nazgul lay around in various positions of laxitude when they weren't dancing or having some more wine and brie.

[Gordis]

In the night a strong wind rose from the South. Khamul's and Mor's sensitive ears caught faint but unmistakable shreaks on the wind.
"There they are, to the South! Come now, let's join them", ordered Khamul.
The two riders and nine horses raced through the night with a speed surprizing for ordinary horses .

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

"Look carefully Mor. Do you sssssee them?" hissed Khamûl.
"Yes sir. Sitting by that tree. Their champagne supplies are running low. Good job we're here," replied Mor.
At this Wikkie turned and saw the two clad newcomers and turned to great them.
"Ahh, Khamûl, Mor, you are here then. What news do you have of the..." Wikkie broke off. "Hang on a minute, is that champagne and strawberries."
"Aye. But not now. Firsssst we need to get a move on and find this Sssshire placcce. Here have thesssse," said Khamûl, tossing them a rag each.
"What is this? Rags? I'm a King of Numenor for Morgoth's sake, I can't wear this," he said in disdain.
In Mordor Sauron heard these words, and walking over to a small fire, that had been transported from Mount Doom breaifly had Wikkie's Ring touch the flames.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," screamed Wikkie. "It burns."
"What is it?" asked Lily.
"Fire. Mount Doom. Not much. Burns," replied Wikkie in pain.
"It's a warning," said Five. "He wants us to hurry up. Anyway, what do we need rags for, we'll be seen."
"I have been told that speed is ensential now, not secrecy. Which is why I have bought nine Mearas of Rohan. Specially bred for Nazgûl purposes," replied Khamûl.

[Butterbeer]

"Really?" said Wikkie sceptically,

" you know how hard to train they are... and to get NINE mearas?"

Wikkie rolled his eyes and looked hard at Khamûl: "Mind you this one here looks like it Might be a mearas ...

Wikkie chose the best horse ...


"So Khamûl: just how did you acquire NINE ALL BLACK mearas and train them without anyone knowing?"

Wikkie thought hard.... the odds on getting NINE Mearas were very large anyway ... near to impossible for starters ... getting nine trained to be ridden by a nazgul ..... made the odds even more massive .... BUT getting all NINE to be BLACK! .... something did not add up here ....

Wikkie wondered too how and why Khamûl was training horses so secretly ... what was his game? he'd have to keep an eye on the Eastener!

"how can you prove these nine are mearas?" he asked Khamûl

[Gordis]

"You will sssee by yourssselfff, o Lord of Morgul. They are ssswifft ass lightning" lied Khamul brazenly.

Wikkie smirked. The Cheshire-cat smile was back on his face.

"What is the matter with him", thought Khamul worriedly. Wikkie seemed pleased for some obscure reason. Khamul knew (who didn't?) that the Witchy was much nicer when in his cups, but still... "He can't be THAT drunk"
Khamul made a mental note: "I must keep an eye on this traitorous Tark"

Meanwhile Gordis rushed to her bag and opened it. In her heart she knew already that there would be no comp-u-tir there, but still a silly hope lingered. Underneath a grey-black dress with a long train (what possessed her to pack it for a journey?) there were two dozen bottles of Nurn.

"I will not get upset" said Gordis to herself bravely. "I have spent the last 50 years peering at the silly screen. I must move on. I must look around. I must see leaves and flowers. And I must watch Khamul, he is not trustworthy. And I must not let the Squirrel get her paws on Wikkie."

Wikkie meanwhile opened his bag and got out tight-fitting leather pants, a pull with some sigil embroidered on it (and visibly NOT by someone like Eowyn), a mithril hauberk, a pair of armoured gloves and a mithril crown. The latter he put back, sighting. There was also a pair of leather boots perfectly polished by Wikkie's personal wraith-servant Earnur, the former King of Gondor.