Fellowship of the Ringwraiths

[Butterbeer]

pausing a second for thought Wikkie reconsidered ... mmmm strawberries and champagne! Might lift the gang's spirits up: after all they were in no rush:

"OK VIV we may as well take the lot: but lets be quick and silent!"

"Quck and silent!" repeated Viv treading on a twig in the terrified silence....


"AAAAGHHHH! MY FOOT!"

[Gordis]

Meanwile the remaining five were sitting under the huge fur-tree watching Gor as she muttered spells, chanted and danced. The hope in Lil's eyes slowly waned, as despite Gor's best efforts the tail remained firmly attached to Lil's person.

"What is the need for all these dances?" asked Eight mockingly. Out of his gray wraithly robes he produced a long Morgul blade. "One cut, and your can hang your tail on a wall like a trophy!"

"NOOO, get away from me, you butcher!" wailed Lil in despair. "Gor, please, try one last time! You are a competent witch, after all… "

Gor shook her head: "It is no less than Seventh level spell, I can't break it, whatever I try".
"You shall have to learn to live with it, Lil"

"What if Wikkie wouln't be able to break it himself?" breathed Lily horrified.

"I think all will be well, once Wikkie relents. You will just have to be nice" advised Gor

"I shall be the most exemplary ringwraith ever!" vowed Lil fervently.

[Butterbeer]

unfortunately fate sometimes is as cruel as the moonlit sea, and lily of all the Nine was the absloute least able to handle her drink ...

even at that momment with many a clink and a curse wikkie and a hopping VIV were coming back fully laden with Bottles of champagne and punnets of fresh strawberries.....


HOP -Kerr-link HOP -Kerr-link *curse* HOP -Kerr-link


"Quck and silent!" muttered Wikkie under his breath.

[Gordis]

Sauron sat at his massive black obsidian table trying to locate the wandering Nine with his inner Eye. Normally it posed no problem, he had just to find a strong concentration of evil and follow it to its source. Today, however, it didn't work. It seemed that the nazgul were engaged in no evil deeds.

"What in the Ungoliant are they doing?", cursed Sau and roared:
"Hey, you, touthless Mouth, brin me that Palan-tir, NOW!"
Mouth brought the object wrapped in a thick black velvet cloth.

"Now, now we shall see"....Sau peered into the fiery ball.
The dawn was colouring the sky an awful elvish rose. The Great West road was empty as far as Edoras, save for a few rohir patrols. The nazgul were nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly at the eaves of Druedan forest a strange sight caught the Eye. Several punnets with some berries and at least three dozens of Champagne bottles were floating along the Road all by themselves.
That was for sure some elven sorcery at work. Sau shuddered and dropped the Palantir on his right toe. The Palantir, of course, suffered no damage...
-OWWWW!

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

Gothmog immediately set about the champegne "Hmmm," he said "A very good vintage!" he immediately set off a cork, and drank an entire bottle straight down, before swallowing a good handful of strawberries "What? *hic*" he said, when he noticed the others looking at him "I needed a drink!!"

So Lily and Gordis looked at each other, quickly nodded in unison, and followed suit, whilst gothmog drained a few more bottles befroe falling over his unseen feet, ending up in a rather untidy heap on the floor "You never loved me..." he began to tell the floor "Always going off, doing your own thing..." he started to cry "Drunkard!!" the others called after him simultaneously.

[Butterbeer]

"drunkard!" joined in Wikkie, before with an explosive POP! he too joined the party swigging his magnum, grinning evily thinking of the anxious sauron at his obsidian table ...

after a hearty swig he noticed gor ...

[Gordis]

...sitting away from the others with an untouched bottle in her hand. Gor was obviously sulking.

"Now, Gor, what is the matter again?" asked Wikkie merrily. "Why are you sitting there like an orc with a bottle of miruvor?"

Tears streamed from Gordis's pale eyes, burning deep holes in the forest floor:
"T'is my 'omp-u-tir, I 'avn't seen it for days now! The world is empty without iiiiit!"

Wikkie was surprisingly cheerful. Some booze always did wonders for the Pale King's mood: "Now, Gor, stop weeping. When we get our clothes and bags you may find there something you miss..."

Gor jumped up and flung herself on Wikkie's neck, knocking the bottle of champagne from his hand: "OH, MY COMPU-TIR! You allowed me to have it after all! Oh Wikkie!"

If Five could have paled, he would have done so. As it were, he only dropped his bottle. He knew there would be no compu-tir in the bags. He thought it were Lil who put it there, so he judged it a good prank to replace it by wine. But it was Wikkie himself, not Lil, who packed the cursed thing.

Poor Five was in a BIG trouble.

[Butterbeer]

The drummer king's bubbly was indeed potent stuff....

Wikkie, suprised by gordis's flirtatous actions and in a bubble induced gay / fey mood responded to gor's sudden hug with a long smouldering kiss ... cut short only by Lily's sudden screeching and five's swearing as he distractedly fell over Gothmog's big protruding invisable feet...

Gothmog hiccuped and shouted " Speed and secrecy!" at the top of his voice before giggling aloud.

[Gordis]

"Hush, Lily" said Wikkie good-naturedly, "You sound just like my wife..."

"Which wife?" asked Liky suspiciously.

"Uh, the fourth, I believe, or was she the fifth?" mused Wikkie.

"Oh, my head", complained Goth

"We need more booze" said Five resolutely.

"Good idea, go and find it" replied Wikkie. "Take Viv, she is good at sensing strawberries".

[CrazySquirrel]

"Gor, YOU VIPER" screeched Lily punctuating the accusation with her tail and her flattened ears.
"I will cut your ears, Unhand Wikkie immediately!"
She brought out her Morgul blade and advanced.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Meanwhile in Dol Guldur.

"Mor, I have just had word from Wikkie. They've just left Ithil, something about us searching for the One, for our Great Lor... I mean stupid master," said Khamûl.
"Very good m'lord," replied Mor, looking slightly worried at the words 'Great Lord'. "I've also had word from the Orc captain in Mirkwood. They are ready to free the hostage Gollum, but request our presence in case of any elven lords."
"Okay Mor. I will be ready in a few minutes."


Later on.

"Captain," barked Khamûl. "Is all ready for the attack."
"Yes General. We have five battalions of twenty Uruks waiting for your word," replied the Uruk Captain.
"Okay. Send in the archers first. I want the guards to be killed before we enter. Mor and I will then take in the five battalions, to make sure any other elven warriors are killed," said Khamûl. "Now get to it."
A battalion of elven archers lined up, and took aim, and killed the two guards. Khamûl and Mor took the lead as five battalions drew to the area where Gollum was being held. Before anybody could bring him down arrows rained in on the battalions, where a small groups of elves were standing. Khamûl turned to the Orc Captain.
"I presume you scouted the area before the attack began?" he asked.
"Umm, well 'bout tha..," the Uruk was cut short, literally, with a swift cut of Khamûls blade. The battle was quick, and all elves were killed, save the leader who fled.
"Leave him. His time will come," grinned Khamûl. Khamûl, Mor and the remaining Orcs returned to where Gollum was being held. At Mor's sign an Orc swiflty climbed the tree, but returned in shock.
"Ummm, Generals. He's not there," he said in shock.
"What?" shouted Khamûl.
"General. There are tracks, leading back towards Dol Guldur," cried an Orc nearby.
"Then follow him. Report back to me at Dol Guldur," barked Mor.


A few hours later.

*Knocking*
"What?" shouted Khamûl.
"It's me m'lord. I've just had words with the Orcs. Gollum escaped. He headed towards Moria. Should we pursue him?" asked Mor.
"No leave him. He's to clever a creature. We'll find him soon."

[Gordis]

Back in the woods the seven (including Five and Eight) were looking forward to some fun.

"Thirteen gold coins on Lil, she is more ferociuos", shouted Five stopping in his tracks for more wine.

"I hope the crazy cats kill each other" muttered Viv under her breath.

"Cut her tail, Gor", advised Eight

"Oh, my poor head" wailed Goth

The Black Captain sipped his wine and just looked amused.

[Butterbeer]

Wikkie for one and the other four including eight and five and Viv who suddenly cancelled their booze cruise) stepped back attempting to form a circle around the 2 Nazgul protagonists .... an unearthly wail rose all around ( in most cases out of entertainment - but in Goth's case out a splitting headache, until 8 popped a strawberry into his mouth) ...

"mmm that's better said gothmog" instantly, and with a wicked grin yodelled "Strawberries and Secrecy! " while picking up a half magnum ...

In the woods the drums started to beat a dramatic tempo as Lilly and Gordis circled one another .. round and round ...

[Gordis]

"Look, Lil" started Gor shakily "You have always been my best friend..."
"Youoo, VIPER!!" screeched Lily again

"Fight, fight! death and blood!" chanted the spectators, eyes burning like coals

[Last Child of Ungoliant]

gothmog, fed up with the waiting, immediately stood up, grabbed lily by the throat, pulled out his sword, and just whipped off her tail "well? it had to be done, and gor wasn't going to..." he began, in protest "You bloodthirsty fiend!!" shrieked lily, cradling the piece of fluffy tail that had been stripped from her rump

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Lily turned in suprise, but that wasn't goin to stop her, as she turned and slashed.
Suddenly Gor and Lily froze, and the Nazgûl knew what had happened. After a few minutes, they began to stiffly move again.
"What did he say?" whispered Wikkie.
"That if we did not stop fighting and get on with the job, he'd.. he'd......." said Lily as she broke down in tears.
"That he'd drop our Rings into the fire," finished Gor.

[Butterbeer]

"he's bluffing... " said Wikkie observing the sudden silence and quick interchange of looks between the company .... "it's that other bit that i did not like the sound of ....." he trailed off, a pained reflective expression on his face...

[Gordis]

"Anyway", continued Wikkie shaking his head," Let's go on. The sunset is near, we can have a good night march along the road. I bet we have scared off all the tark patrols. We must cross the Druadan Forest before sunrise and then in two days we reach Firien Wood and cross the Merring Stream and pass into the horseboys land. And cheer up, the further we go, the more difficult it will be for the Eye to find us..."

"And what about Five and Viv" asked Gothmog, always caring about the others

"They will catch up with us at the next camp" replied Wikkie. "I hope they will bring more drummers booze with them".

The five obediently allowed Wikkie to herd them towards the road. They felt unhappy and subdued. Lily cried, still clutching her now fully visible tail to her. However there were no mortal eyes around to admire a giant squirrel's tail moving all by itself along the road.

By sunrize they were stumbling along dizzy with weariness, and unable to think of anything but their invisible feet and legs. The Eye caught with them twice keeping them in line.

"No, it simply cannot continue like that", muttered Wikkie darkly. "I havn't sold my soul for THAT! There must be a way out!"

[Butterbeer]

as he muttered this Wikkie noticed a funny expression on Gothmog's face ...

he seemed to heard it and have taken some sort of 'umbar' umbrage at this comment ....



'well we're on the move at last' thought wikkie 'the further we go the easier it'll be' he pondered.

[Gordis]

Five and Viv joined the others but brought no booze with them. Both bore smug expressions on their spectral faces, so everybody assumed they had drunk the champers all by themselves. The others silently vowed to avenge this in the future.

Wikkie was in a vicious mood. The others felt it and kept their distance.

Lily has finally abandoned her tail, almost without screaming that time.

Two hundred years later the descendants of Ghan-buri-Ghan still kept the magnificent tail as a trophy in the sacral cave. They told their children stories how their famous ancestor killed a giant evil black squirrel single-handedly.

In two days the fellowship was in Rohan.