*Laughing*

[nokom]

This is very funny (Thinks of what an idiot made it) He seems to think orcs were stolen from WORLD OF WARCRAFT the video game... and that its just a movie... and tolkien wrote a novelisation! http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html

[Anglorfin]

Obviously a joke. But some points were funny. I especially liked the casting recommendation for Gandalf as being played by Bruce Campbell. And my personal favorite is under "Magic Mechanics" . . .

Experts on the occult say in order for a wizard to floorspin a fully-grown man like Gandalf, he'd need three magical staffs, not two.

Most of it is pretty stupid though.

[Curubethion]

Yes, that one about the wizards was funny. And I found this one to be fairly hilarious also...

The Battle Droid Syndrome.

The mutated muscular soldiers of Mordor turned out to be hilariously ineffective fighters, a dozen of them held off by a single dying human. Apparently they made the beasts by crossing Orcs, Goblins and the French.

Ouch!!

[hectorberlioz]

This nearly killed me

Percentage of protagonists in Fellowship who are white: 100. Meanwhile the black antagonists and their black crow spies and their black glass seeing ball inhabit their black towers and perform black magic. Gosh, I wonder if there's some symbolism there?

or this...

The heroes are shown eating again and again, and yet no one ever goes to the bathroom throughout their entire quest.

[Curubethion]

Originally Posted by hectorberlioz

Percentage of protagonists in Fellowship who are white: 100. Meanwhile the black antagonists and their black crow spies and their black glass seeing ball inhabit their black towers and perform black magic. Gosh, I wonder if there's some symbolism there?

Nice-I saw that one too!

[sun-star]

I liked this one:

Liv Tyler's character is seen easily defeating nine strong supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman.

[The last sane person]

Obviously a joke. I mean, it had huge red letters at the end declaring it a parody..

hector, that was the funniest piece in the whole damn thing to me.

[me9996]

He almost has a point with the limitless arrows thing, in the books Legolas endlessly is looking for arrows for his bow... After every battle... It's almost funny...


But the rest was cometic! I hope he doesn't realy think this stuff...

[trolls' bane]

You know, I'm going to read that soon. It's funny just reading your comments, though.

[Gwaimir Windgem]

Does anyone remember when this came up a few years back?

[Nautipus]

I almost made a mess in my chair reading that. it was stupid, but funny is at least 4 parts dumb.

[orithil]

haha awesome

In FOTR, if you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.

[Ingwe]

Oy vey...

I've heard some students are being forced to read some novelization of the movies in their literature classes. Ridiculous. Does Hollywood run our classrooms now?

That's a good one! That's basically a hint right there that it was a hoax article. I could just be assuming that most people out there know the books came WAY before the movies. Of course, some movie goers out there might not know that (oh dear Eru, noooo).

Millions of copies of the LOTR DVDs have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film. Didn't anyone catch this? You know what happens at the end, in the extreme foreground and extreme upper sky? Neither do I. Bush league, gentlemen.

I bet some people out there actually tried to find out what happened by buying the widescreen formats, expecting to see the blue wizards or Radagast or something in those black areas at some point during the movie. "Ok, if you pause it at 2:10:59, you will see 1 frame that seems to show Radagast the Brown having a drinking war with Gimli."

In the massive Mt. Doom battle scene at the beginning of Fellowship of the Ring, a DVD pause reveals at least half a dozen of the 50,000 Orc Warrior extras are wearing modern tennis shoes.

This one would actually be believable. Things like this DO happen in movies. Think about the car traveling across in that scene in the East Farthing fields where Sam says "If I go any further, I'll be the furthest away from home I've ever been."

Of course, one of the Orc warriors could have been wearing an "I'm with stupid" shirt with an arrow on the shirt pointing up. The world may never know.

Give me one reason that story couldn't have been told without all the fighting.

ROFLMAO!

Imagine the scene at the Battle of Pelennor Fields:

Theoden: "Okay, I cast impending shout, and the Mumakil get spooked and go in the other direction."

Aragorn: "I have 9,999 action points, so I cast Army of the Dead spell. It doesn't kill your guys, but it clears their action points and puts them back to 0, so they can't make any additional moves."

Legolas: "Um...let's see. Well while you're busy with that, I cast arrow vollie on a Mumak. It doesn't kill him, but it makes him feel like he got shot in the back of the head by three arrows, so he kinda just lays down and plays dead."

Gimli: "I cast comic relief."

* Gimli casts comic relief. *

Gimli: "That still only counts as one!"

Theoden: "Oh lookie, I'm dead!" * Plays dead, Eowyn acts all emo. *

* Army of the Dead calls Aragorn a n00b for not allowing them to leave the server - it's their bed time. *

Aragorn: "I hold your oath fulfilled, etc etc, now go!"

* Army of the Dead has left the server. *

Gandalf: "Hey, let's get an Eagle and give him the ring and drop it in Mount Doom, thus skipping that 'Frodo needs a hug and battle against impossible odds' scene!"

Gimli: "Legolas, I want a rematch! Drinking game, round 2!"

Legolas: "Peachy keen!"

Every time Frodo or Bilbo went invisible with the ring they should have also gone BLIND. Your eyes cannot function unless light is reflected off the cornea. If light passes through it (as must be the case with invisibility) sight is no longer possible. Also, rings do not turn you invisible.

I like this one! At the same time it ignores Tolkien's Literature, it also makes a statement based on logic, which makes it even more funny!

Legolas shoots arrow after arrow at his enemies, and yet the number of arrows in his quiver never decreases. I guess elves have glands on their back that secrete arrows.

LoL. This guy has a point here!

* Legolas logged in on server *
> godmode1
> God mode activated
> tolkienclip
> Infinite ammo mode activated
* Legolas is in the range of the Helm's Deep explosive mine. Damage done: 0 HP. *
* Legolas kills 30 more Uruk-Hai and doesn't even notice the rest of the Elves dying around him. *

The character of Elrond was based on Agent Smith from The Matrix.

Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson. XD

Weighty issues.

AKA "Plot Hole No. 273." Even with all that walking and light eating, the character of Sam only got fatter.

OMG! He did steal the Elven bread and stuff his face when master not looking, just as poor Smeagol said! LoL.

Why, in part 1, is the black octopus creature painted as the bad guy when it attacks, when one of the fellowship had clearly been throwing rocks at it?

Fool of a Took!

Casting, III.

Why couldn't Bilbo have been played by Vin Diesel?

Hahaha!

Frodo: "The Elves have accorded you a special honor, Bilbo, a place on the last ship to leave Middle Earth."

Bilbo: "Frodo....will there be racing there? Also, I'm not going if they have a speed limit."

Frodo: "O RLY?"

[Wayfarer]

As old as this is, the one thing that never fails to amuse me is a sentiment which I remember hearing in a couple of different reviews and agreeing with myself.

19. I'll have to rent that one.

The rushed-through story the screenwriter threw in as the first ten minutes of Fellowship of the Ring looked a lot more interesting than the movie we were forced to watch. Why didn't somebody make a movie off that instead?

[Ingwe]

To be honest, the movies weren't what I expected. The plot generally moved along well when it came to the big picture of things, but the inaccuracies were just too much at times. Denethor wasn't a coward like the movie made him look. He didn't tell everyone to flee for their lives at any time. The only big problem he had is that he was kind of emo after his wife died (understandably) and then even more so after Boromir died. When Faramir was wounded he assumed he'd die so he just figured he'd end it all by burning the two alive. The book version of Lord of the Rings basically made the connections well between the plots. Aragorn was the one who advised Ecthelion, as a sort of half-brother to Denethor. LoL. Gandalf gave Ecthelion trust in Aragorn, but Denethor was kind of resentful of Gandalf and basically anyone who "was a wizard's pupil".

For some reason I always took Faramir as the scholarly type - and Boromir as the star football player. The brothers got along but Denethor always liked Boromir more. There's a book called "Rocket Boys" which was renamed "October Sky" which coincidentally is a re-arrangement of the letters in "Rocket Boys". It's about almost the same kind of issue. The author of the book is Homer Hickam. His father approved of his brother over him and was definitely a lot like Denethor. Homer became the scholarly type and his brother was the football star. His father wanted Homer to work in the mines like he did, but Homer had other plans and this upset his father a lot. Sort of how Faramir's practical and strategic logic (which sometimes required retreat or re-positioning of the troops of Gondor) upset Denethor.

Anyway I went on a ramble completely unrelated to the topic at hand (though it is pseudo-related because it started on the common rant about the movies having less than 70% accuracy).

I heard one time that in the Black Gate scene that one of the soldiers of Gondor wasn't in character in the background and had a South Park shirt on instead of his armor and stuff. I never saw that so that claim was a complete hoax.

One claim that I haven't been able to support is that Gollum is standing on top of one of the statues at the Argonath in FotR. It's supposed to be right when the birds fly off of the statue.