The Entmoot Presidential Debate

Hello, I'm Darth Tater of the Rain of Terror hour on the JC. I, along with the other admins, am the impartial moderator of this debate. In a moment the candidates, Giltholian and gdl96, will come out and do a silly dance and say stoopid things.

I ask that the audience in the hall shutup! Unless it's the voices in my head (which is quite likely) you're making way too much noise!

Some questions have already been brought up by FM. I ask that Gil paste his responses into this thread and that Greg respond here. No responses shall exceed an amount of scrolls that makes me board. If they do I'll go away and take a nap.

After those questions have been responded to I will ask a question. The other admins will also be given a chance to question the candidates. We will then open the floor to questions from the impartial voters (if any exist).

We ask that the candidates not flame each other too much; just enough to make themselves look like jerks. Also, if there's a way to make your posts sound like you grew up on a farm we'd appreciate that.

I'd now like to introduce the two candidates, who are about to come out into the thread. Please, if you throw tomatoes let me borrow some. Now here are Giltholian and gdl96!!!

Please note, y'all, that unlike my opponent, who has not given a newsconference in days, I have responded to the questions asked by Moderator Fat Middle. In cooperation with thte Election Authorities (who have by now I hope, received generous but untraceable bribes) I repost my responses to the questions previously asked. Like the rest of you, I wait for Greg to come down from his high horse and answer the questions, for the public demands answers.

Pros and cons of Roasted Hutts.
Well, if you can ever manage to roast one, it would feed quite a party! Unfortunately, in this cholesterol-conscious age, I fear that it would not be a healthy meal. Furthermore, the SPCH (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Hutts) has made legitimate points that must be considered. Tastes like chicken, I'm told.

Legal policies at Entmoot: may the young members drink bourbon at the parties?
This is an excellent question worthy of debate. It depends on what the meaning of the word "young" is. If less than legal drinking age, under my administration they will have to live under my somewhat old-fashion standards, I'm afraid. (Meaning, they must sneak their own booze while we pretend we don't know what's going on.)

Your plans for expanding Entmoot all around the world.
I'm glad the moderator raised this issue. With all the publicity that will soon hit the general population as the movies come out, we should all endeavor to raise Tolkien Consciousness by generating ENTMOOT links on all websites under our control. Bribery also works. What we really need is a good scandal! (Perhaps the Minister of Agriculture and Noble Entitlement will scan her ROOSTER TATOO and embroil the ENTMOOT in a national story of historic significance.)

Your position in the Canada wars.
I am a uniter, not a divider. I hope that soon, there will be peace with Canada. I have a dream, that one day little Francophobe children and little Anglophobe children will hold hands, and be judged not for the language they speak, but by their opinion of the Indians.

Tom Bombadil vs. Xenarwen
This is perhaps the most serious matter raised in tonight's debate. I seriously believe that it deserves serious consideration as we consider the seriousness of the matter before us. I've long suspected that Tom Bombadil is actually Santa Claus, aka Father Christmas, aka Kris Kringle, etc. As a candidate, I've been made privy to top secret intelligence briefings that have confirmed this belief of mine. Since such is seemingly the case, I have no doubt that old Bombadil has Xenarwen's number, and knows if she's been naughty or nice and will plan accordingly should peace talks collapse.

One moment please

In the US the debates used to be run by some women's voters group. Now they're run by the democrats and republicans, and are therefore exclusively inclusive of these two parties. However, we shall not leave the green party on its rump.

HOBBIT, welcome to the debate.

AHH! i finished hte questions but then i accidnetly minimzed the borwser, which caused it to reload I'll re-type my answers later..

Yeah yeah... like we believe you! **** I tell you... ****.. My vote goes to Gil :lol:

"ministers-in-waiting" assist him in issues of policy, etc., etc.?

My mind is made up, I am voting for HOBBIT.

Oops, sorry HOBBIT, forgot that I can't vote.....well if I could......

If greg would show up we could get this debate under way. I'm thinking strong personal insults and the like, just like in America!

My campaign is pleased to announce that our internal tracking polls show our candidate (that's ME) is ahead in this race.

GILTHALION
90%

HOBBIT
1%

"GREG"
1%

UNDECIDED
8%

We attribute this to HOBBIT'S incompetant performance at the begining of this debate and to GREG'S inaccessibility to the media.

Still, we intend to campaign as if this were a tight race because we have a decent respect to the opinions of humanity.

Unlike my wicked and lazy opponents in this race!

clap clap clap

Ahem.

Does the moderator mind if the great Merlo(t) party join this honorable debate?

I really did loose my answers! Those "statistics" are completely wrong, not to mention made up! I'll just mention some things that I'll do during my administration. I am learning French so i can actually read French threads, unlike "Greg" who only knows how to speak Spanish. I will make sure that sure that taxes stay as low as they are now ($0.00 thanks to the bmilder/tater administration). If any problems occur I will see to it that they get resolved as soon as posible! I started the hobbit revolution when the entmoot staff denied of the title of hobbit. We won out and the hobbit title was put back. Can you think of one time Gil has fought for your rights? If there is any real problem with the board, i could directly talk to ezboard because of my vip status, or I could directly talk to bmilder , seeing as he lives in the same house as me. If nessasery i would bug him like crazy to fix a problem. And what has Greg ever done for you? He hasn't even read LOTR! I have read the Hobbit, and 2/3 (finished the fellow ship and the two towers). I can even occasionally look over bmilders shoulder and tell you whats going on in the mod forum j/k I await Tater's questions, but first i'll answer some of FM's questions:

Pros and cons of roasting a hutt.
It takes a very loong time to cook a hutt. I think you may have to take the skin off, then put it in a solution of 75% NaCl/25% H2O. This is very time consuming..... If you did mange to roast a hutt, it would be enough to serve an army! Think of the leftovers! Hutt "surprise" casserole, Hutt Salad sandwiches,
Hutt green chili, Hutt Pot Pie........ Anyway, the whole concept is yucky. (note: some ideas taken from HOBBIT supporter Anduin).

Legal policies at Entmoot: may the young members drink bourbon at the
parties?
Bourbon at parties wouldn't be real anyway. I see no need of excluded under age hobbits from drinking. Besides, most people are in character, and that has nothing to do with legal age.

Your plans for expanding Entmoot all around the world.
This is a secret part of my administration. elect me to find out.

Your position in the Canada wars.
Sorry, i don't live in Canada and don't really know whats going on there......(as i suspect Gil has no idea also)

Tom Bombadil vs. Xenarwen
I don't know who "Xenarwen" is. Is she is book 3 or something? I also don't see how Gil's opion of Bombadil answers the question . Greg won't even be able to say anthing about this because he hasn't read tolkien! Do you really wnat Greg to be prez of a TOLKIEN board? thank you. I know my answers are delalyed..sorry. I await better questions/ :d

Ok, I am here to continue the debate.

Pros and Cons of Roasted Hutts
I am completely for this issue. I was here when we roasted Son of a Hutt. We haven't heard much from him lately. I was also roasted once, myself, under the name Jae the Hutt. It was quite an experiance, and I would recomend that we continue this ritual.

Legal policies at Entmoot: may the young members drink bourbon at the parties?
Well, being part of many parties here at entmoot, I enjoyed the experiance of drinking bourbon to celebrate. Being underage, I would like it if the tradition of youngsters drinking bourbon would continue.

Your plans for expanding Entmoot all around the world.

What kind of issue is this? I'll just use gore's stategy by not answering the question by throwing a bunch of BS at you. Entmoot has lot's of publicity. Lots of it thanks to me. The great "gdl era" at entmoot made the board great. It sparked many famous posts and threads. I believe that all the attention Entmoot is getting is because of me.

Your position in the Canada wars.
Although I had a little thing against Canada a little while ago, that is in the past. I resolved my fight with Iron Parrot and took us one step further towards peace. If I am elected, I would bring us even closer to complete peace with Canada.

Other Topics

New forums at Entmoot
I have brought this up before, and I will bring it up again. We need new forums here at Entmoot. I have proposed that we have a music forum and a televsion forum. I also stand strongly that we keep the Star Wars forum. With the filming of Ep II finished, and the movie quickly approaching, I predict that the forum will come to life and will be of great importance.

By the way, going with what Hobbit has said, what has Gil ever done for Entmoot? The only thing that comes to my mind is that he was the first regular user to reach 500 in one username. Everyone knows that I have well over 500 posts with all my usernames combined! Did Gil reach 500 posts before me? I didn't think so.
Also, as I mentioned before, I have helped to resolve the Canada Wars and I made the board famous with the "gdl era" in late 99/early 00. I created historic threads such as the Great Maulstrodomis. And now I continue with my great ideas with the Entmoot Presidential Election. Did Gil ever come up with any truely great and historic threads? What about HOBBIT? I didn't think so.

So, I leave you with a question:
Can you name one thing that Gil has done for us here at Entmoot?
I didn't think so!

So what could we call these parties?

HOBBIT is Hobbitican

Gilthalion is Shirecrat

gdl96 is .....Can't think of one

================================================== ==========

gdl96, have you done any readings for the public? Have you put them in downloadable form so that Entmooters can listen to them?

It is a poor rooster who won't do his own crowing!

gdl96 has gotten his facts wrong, it was Shanamir of course who first reached 500 posts with a SINGLE character, although I daresay I did it in the shortest amount of time, even considering that I did wait a while for Eruve.

I have introduced the ENTMOOT to Grits, and that alone should secure my Presidency!

I have provided readings on RealAudio that are hosted on the Tolkien Trail in Rivendell!

Perhaps more importantly than what I have done for ENTMOOT, are the things I have done for MIDDLE-EARTH. I have read THE HOBBIT aloud at the local Barnes & Noble. I have promoted NATIONAL HOBBIT DAY on the airwaves.

Back to ENTMOOT, I have provided screen after screen with lively and thoughtful debate, I have had enlightening discourse with noted Elven Loremaster Michael Martinez, I have written poems and parodies, and I have masterfully played Saruman of Many Colours in the RPG.

But more important than what I have done, is what I have not done.

I have not, unlike my rude young opponents, made personalities an issue of this debate. I have not disparaged HOBBIT, GDL96, GREG, or any of the other inconsequential candidates as they truly deserve.

I have run my campaign on the moral high ground and you will never hear Gilthalion Goodbodie engage in personal attacks or in negative campaigning!

What are you going to do for senior citizens?

I am so glad you asked that question!

Senior citizens on the ENTMOOT are our most precious resource! We should conserve our resources, and under my Presidency, senior citizen conservation will be my very top priority!

Best one-liners from the debate so far, imo:

HOBBIT:
Question:Your position in the Canada wars.
Answer: "Sorry, i don't live in Canada and don't really know whats going on there..."
Hint to HOBBIT: "the Canada wars" refers to a long and popular thread that you apparently forgot. There's no war in Canada .

"Greg":
"I believe that all the attention Entmoot is getting is because of me."
Hint to gdl96: :lol: :lol: :rollin: sorry no hints

As for the voting... I've decided that there will be secret ballots. Starting Tuesday, all voters will send emails to me at bmilder@tolkientrail.com with the name of the candidate that they are selecting. To qualify as a voter you must:

a) be registered and be at "Hobbit" status or above as of yesterday, (October 20th, 2000)
b) have posted in the last two months as of yesterday, and
c) be a regular (non admin, non full-mod) user of Entmoot

Voting will begin Tuesday (so don't send me any votes until then) and last for one week, ending the Tuesday before the U.S. election. There can be only one vote per person, not per username. Thus, Greg will get to vote only once, even though he has many usernames.

Before I ask my question, which is directed at Gilthalion, who I know is far too noble a hobbit to stoop to calling his opponents names, I just wanted to say what I think of his dirty, rotten, good for nothing, dispicable, unregenerate, gutter trash, mealy mouthed, carpetbagging, scallawagging, low down, lick spittle, back stabbing, traitorous, slanderous, malicious, pernicious, filthy, fraudulent, disgraceful, hate filled, lazy, buck toothed, bad breathed, pimple faced, rotten, stinking, cowardly opponents in this race.

I don't like 'em!

Now, for my question. What about the Dwarven Conspiracy? What do you intend to do about them?