100 Words - Tell Your Tale!

[hectorberlioz]

Hugh ran through the forest as fast as he could. He heard the shouts of the men in the distance. And their dogs.

Nowhere to hide. So he just ran. He could still hear them behind them, and they seemed to be catching up. He came to a large creek. Dogs couldn't smell you when you were in the water. He splashed in and spotted a small crevice in the side. He hid inside. Men and dogs marched past him.

Hugh felt something in his hair. A needle. He was comepletely naked and owned nothing. But he had a needle.

Next subject: figuring out an algebra problem for the sultan who will put you to death if you don't figure out his equation. ()

[Mari]

"You will solve this equation for me, or you will die!" The Sultan shouted angrily and his eyes shot fire at the girl in front of him.
Deviantly the girl looked back. "I already told you, I CAN NOT!"
"YOUWILLNOTSHOUTATHISMAJESTY!" one of the soldiers yelled.
"FINE!" the girl yelled at the soldier now "I'LL YELL AT YOU INSTEAD!!!"

She suddenly turned around and stalked back to the table on which the mathbook lay.
“Please, Sultana, if you don’t study, you won’t pass the test.” the old Mathteacher pleaded.

“Daughter, study and get smart.” The Sultan said before leaving the room.


Next topic: An evil couple in everyday life.

[Coffeehouse]

Mrs. Dabberdoob sat dumbfounded, looking at the obnoxious piece of salmon lying flat and mangled in front of her on the white-clothed table. Her eyes narrowed and from the ridiculously tiny holes that were her nostrils there could almost be seen a malicious fume shooting out.

"What is that!?" exclaimed Mrs. Dabberdoob, curling her lips.

"Is that a fish!!??" erupted Mister Dabberdoob in dripping digust.

"Do I look like a dolphin to you!?" Mrs. Dabberdoob spat out towards the waiter whom only mustered a gurgling sound of panic.

"Remove that filthy fish at once! How dare you!? Mr. Dabberdoob boomed.

Next subject: Being terrified of the dentist and having an appointment.

[hectorberlioz]

Joseph looked from side to side fearfully, as he waited in the the lobby of the dentist'soffice. Dr. Mort, they called him. Mortimer Black was his full name. But to Joseph "Mort" meant "death. Black Death.

It was like a torture chamber, he thought. A psychological torture, to wait in here anticipating your doom.

Joseph looked at his watch. 10:15. They still hadn't called him in. Hmm. There was the door to the outside. Freedom awaited him outside these walls. He considered leaving the appointment for another time. He got up to leave but then reconsidered. Might as well get it over.

Next subject: a little elf

[Coffeehouse]

Earnie was a Lord of the Rings fan. And he was short.

That was a problem since Earnie liked elves. His short legs and thick glasses would have rendered him a disgrace in Rivendell. But Earnie had come to decide that he was a little elf, a hobbelf.

Everyday Earnie had to leave his small A4 office cubicle and embark on a Mission of Good, faxing his daily report in the fax-machine across the office. It was a terrible mission, passing scary co-workers, evading flying coffee cups and paper airplanes.

Yet Earnie the hobbelf always made it, to Fax Doom.

Next subject: Having to go the bathtoom, but holding it instead in the last hour of the most important exam of your life.

[hectorberlioz]

(Lol! If you want a fun story about "holding it," check out my story 'At the Symphony' in this forum . It's ALL about that subject).

It was 1947 and young James Bond sat alongside four other students like himself. He was taking the most important exam of his life. Not lightly did the Her Majesty's Secret Service allow its agents to drive around in expensive cars, drink martinis, carry guns, and sleep with countless people.

You had to pass The Test That Required Everything.

That's what James Bond was doing. Except that he had to use the restroom just at that moment, and suddenly they were at the last stretch of the exam (Always bring your No.2 pencil and scantron) and he wasn't sure he could concentrate...

Next subject: Young Otto Klemperer ( )

[Coffeehouse]

Lol I'm not going to and spoil with a really ****ed story someone who is perhaps a fav composer of yours..?

Or do you want me to?

[hectorberlioz]

You gotta do some research, pal. He's a conductor. But yeah, take a crack at it.

[klatukatt]

Young Otto Klemperer was banging away on the piano again. His mother, Ida, ran to her husband.
“He is upset you know,” she told Nathan, her husband. “Can’t you hear it?”
“He always does this,” Nathan dismissed in his soothing baritone. “It is just his poetry game.”
“But this time he went straight for that dreadful English poet, Poe.” Ida was distraught. “Why must you keep that filth in the house?”
Nathan put down his book. “Why is he upset?”
“He doesn’t want to go to school.”
Nathan stood up. He kissed his wife. “I’ll have a talk with him.”

Good enough for you, Hector?
Next subject: Batman gets a letter

[hectorberlioz]

(Quite good . I thought you were going to have palindromic names for the parents too, though )

Batman sat at his huge supercomputer, checking his email. A letter personally addressed to Batman!? How did they know--

He read it.

"Dear Batman,

I think you are a doll! You are hotter than Barack Obama. Please send me an autographed batarang. I love how you use those things!

Love,
Tracy"

Probably someone guessing, Batman thought.

The next day when he went out, a hideous woman approached him in an alleyway, smiling. Blond hair, thin face--

Huh? Joker?

Suddenly there was a pain in his chest. Had he just been shot? Blood.

"Alfr-ed," he croaked into his phone.

------
Alfred sighed as he got into the Bat-jet. It was always SOMETHING....

NEXT SUBJECT: Gandalf goes to the spa

[Mari]

With a sigh he lowered himself into the water. It smelled vaguely like sulfur and was so hot it made his skin tingle when he moved. He could practically feel the tension flowing out from him. Playing chess at worldsavinglevel was after all not without problems and excitement.

Relaxed and happy he came out of the hot spring and went into the changing room. He had asked the manager to bring him his special slippers and a bathrobe.
When he went inside he made a horrible discovery and he grew larger as he bellowed angrily: “WHERE ARE MY PINK FUZZY SLIPPERS!?!?”

Next topic: pink fuzzy slippers ()

[Willow Oran]

The pink fuzzy slippers sat on the conference table, being stared at. Finally, Flash, rubbing his head where the things had hit him when they came flying out of the wormhole, asked, “So where’s the world’s greatest detective when you need him?”

“I hear he got fangirl-ed on his last patrol and had a heart attack...” Green Lantern trailed off and the Justice League took a moment to picture that unlikely scene.

“Call in the reserves,” Superman finally ordered, giving the mysterious and potentially dangerous pink fuzzy slippers a final, wary glance, “It seems our reality has been breached again.”

Next Subject:
Vanquished villains becoming overcrowded in the Void.

[Coffeehouse]

Dirty-Eye and Crook-Tooth were eating their nightly supper, which tasted like old socks. Everywhere around them sat like-minded charlatans, thieves and murderers huddled around each their table, silently slurping in the foul-smelling soup.

Suddenly, from the hatch in the blackish ceiling above, dropped yet another crook.

"For the love of it mate!" Dirty-Eye burst out in irritation. "Another? Don't they realise we're full!?"

"Blimey, it's a fat one!" Crook-Tooth exclaimed. "As if we needed another fatty cramping up the space that's left!"

The unfortunate big-boned bank-manager-gone-bad looked uneasily around himself as every villain in the Void stared accusingly at him.

Next subject: Visiting your sweetheart's ultra-conservative parents for the first time

[hectorberlioz]

Tim was in love with Jane. They both went to the same college and majored in the same subjects. After they decided to get engaged they went to visit Jane's parents.

They were quite nice but severely old fashioned, Tim thought as he listened to dad's political commentary over dinner. And there was something else they didn't know yet: Tim was a metrosexual. Yes, it was true. He had no clue how to break it to them. They were so ignorant and...conservative!

Come to think of it, Jane didn't seem like all that great a person anymore. Did she agree with them?

Next subject: the know-it-all in class

[Mari]

Joel sighed. He'd done it again. He was back to being labelled 'smartypants' and 'know-it-all'. Why oh why had he not been able to restrain himself when the language teacher made that minor mistake? It wasn't as if it were crucial...
And on top of it he had been kicked out of class for being 'cheeky'. His parents were not going to like this. Kicked out on the first day of school after the latest move.

Slowly he went to search for the principal’s office. This was going to be another tough year at yet another high school. Nothing had changed.

Next topic: enjoying fishcookies

[Nautipus]

The fish wrinkled his, erm, front, “Man, I don’t know…”
“C’mon, don’t be a wimp. They’re good, seriously.”
He thought for a moment, “I-I don’t know, I’m still a little leery…”
The duo hung suspended in the water, staring at a small, brown, crusty something that hovered right along with them.
“Dude, you are so boring. Just take a little nibble.”
“Well…why don’t you?”
His companion shook his head, “This isn’t about me, man. It’s on you.”
He thought a moment longer before saying, “Fine just a little one…”
Hem munched a tiny hole into the objet, setting it to bobbing. His eyes widened.
“Wow! This is good!” He took a larger bite
“This is absolutely del-“
The water made a “shoop” sound as he was pulled from this world.


Next topic: existentialism.

[hectorberlioz]

There once existed a man named John. He lived in a small village during the early 19th century. His immediate family had left him alone. His wife and kids up to New York. His siblings never visited. John was plunged into deep depression.
He walked on the grassy fields and wondered about God's creation. He watched construction work and observed the workings of machines and wondered about man's creations. He climbed trees and observed bird nests---and wondered about the creations of animals.

One day by the roadside he found a packet of over-sized women's underwear. "Who in heck created THIS!?" he exclaimed.

Next subject: saying "bye" to someone on the phone, but they keep talking

[Nautipus]

"...and so Tyler was like 'no, babe, I wasnt with Michele', and I was like "yyyYYUhUH! Dave totally saw you!', and he was like, 'He just said that cuz he wants in your-"
"Okay, yeah, but seriously, I have to go. I'll talk to you later."
"And I was like, 'No, Dave doesnt even like girls', and he was like 'he has a picture of Beyonce on his phone, of couse he does, and then-"
"Uh, Seriously, I have to go, I have alot of-"
"-but he just wouldnt listen, so I told him, maybe we should take a break, and he was all, 'no, babe, I love you, I cant be without you-"
*writhes*

Next subject: trying to kill a pesky weed that can talk and is self-aware.

[Coffeehouse]

”Shut up little weed!!” I exclaimed in despair, standing shivering in my shorts. ”Stop bothering me! Get lost!”

The weed Mike was floating annoyingly in the large lake in the park, making fun of me while I was trying to man myself up to jump into the freezing water.

”You’re spineless” Mike the weed mocked in his irritating high-pitch voice. ”You’re a freak!”

”No I’m not!! You… Shut up you!! I’ll jump on you.. little weed!!” my numb face turning a dark crimson red, fully comprehending the surreal absurdness that a weed was calling me spineless.

The weed snickered loudly.

Next subject: A deep fear of escalators.

[Acalewia]

"I don't believe this," Marcia muttered as she stared up the escalater. She had bee around this mall twice and the only other way to the next level was through that monstrous thing. And of course the elavator was out of commision.
"Oh, just my bloody luck!" Marcia just couldn't get herself to go up that thing. The securaty guard walked up to her with a concerned look.
"Is everything alright, ma'am? Are you needing help with anything?" Marcia's face turned a crimson red.
"Um, are these the only way up?"
"you can take the stairs," Marcia smiled.
"Oh! Thank you!"



Next topic: Faking sick