They'd never say that!

Samwise Gamgee · 06-04-2002, 12:12 PM

This is just for a bit of fun, but can be REALLY funny. It's simple, too. All you gotta do is put in a quote that a LoTR character wouldn't say. Here are some of mine:

Sam: Actually, I don't think I will argue this time, Gollum. Help yourself to the Ring and that bitch Frodo, too.

Elrond: It is decided, then. The Ring must be destroyed. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast into the fiery chasm from whence it came. Everybody ok with that?
(All heads turn to Boromir)
Boromir: What? Of course that's alright. This is a Ring embodying the Dark Lord's evil, how can any of us possibly weild it for good?

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
Balrog: (Looking over shoulder to orcs) No, but I really think he doesn't want us to cross... you tell him- he's scary!

Legolas: Tree? What tree? (Thump)

Arwen: If you want him, come and claim him. (Claws out!)

Elrond: Break it down funky style!

Pippin: Whew! I couldn't eat another bite!

Sauron: Does this blouse go with my eye?

Sauron: Hey, Gandalf. Why don't we all just forget about this Ring and sail West?

Theoden: (On reaching the Pelannor) Oh, there are a few more orcs here than we'd thought. Right, about turn, I'm going home. What? They don't even know we're here- they won't miss us!

Aragorn: I never wanted to be the King of all Gondor and Anor. I wanted to be... a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they floatr down the mighty River Isen! Oh, I'm a lumberjack...

Try it, it's great fun!

Starr Polish · 06-04-2002, 12:27 PM

Gimli: (upon being given some mithril) What? This is rubbish! Give me leaves and trees and fresh air any ol' day!

Legolas: Ugh, I hate the beach.

Garina · 06-04-2002, 12:37 PM

LOLOLOL!!!

Those are funny! Ummm...

Arwen: Actually, Estel, I've been having second thoughts about this whole mortality thing...

Merry: Want some Longbottom Leaf?

Pippin: Nah, I've given up. Smoking is bad for you, you know!

Tar-Elendil · 06-04-2002, 01:04 PM

Thingol after Beren asks for Luthiens hand "Sure, I dont mind."

afro-elf · 06-04-2002, 01:05 PM

the Rohirrim: quick let's eat the horses

Eowyn: Nah, I'll stay home and knit. By the way do these high heeled shoes match my long flowery dress?

afro-elf · 06-04-2002, 01:07 PM

Feanor: Sure Yannna you can have the Silmarils.

Melkor nah let him be.

Tar-Elendil · 06-04-2002, 01:12 PM

lol..
Gandalf in Moria.:"A Balrog? Oh screw this! Let me out first!"

Andúril · 06-04-2002, 01:35 PM

Legolas: "I like girls."

Elbereth Gilthoniel · 06-04-2002, 02:09 PM

Gandalf: I'll be happy to answer all of your questions.

Garina · 06-04-2002, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Anduril
Legolas: "I like girls."

If any fan girls read this, you might have to run for it!!!

(Although I agree

)

Eowyn: Grima, I love you.

Andúril · 06-04-2002, 02:31 PM

I'll stand my ground.

Radagast The Brown · 06-04-2002, 02:32 PM

Gullum: Frodo, take my precious, please ...

Frodo: sorry, I son't want it.

Starr Polish · 06-04-2002, 02:34 PM

::enter rabid fangirl::

Frodo: I'm so glad this ring came to me!
Sam: Eek! A bug!

Radagast The Brown · 06-04-2002, 03:22 PM

Legolas: Do you want to go to Khazad Dum?
Gimly: No. Why won't we go to Mirkwood?

Lelondul · 06-04-2002, 03:30 PM

Eomer, looking at Arwen : "She is a looker Aragorn - a drinking contest for her hand then?"

Aragorn: "My friend, I was downing flagons of Dorwinion when you were in a manger. Prepare for a bitter defeat!" (guzzles first pint, slams down tankard)

Turin: "It's a beautiful life"

Tar-Elendil · 06-04-2002, 03:31 PM

The Mouth of Sauron "Uh, yea Sauron said some stuff like uh. Hm. One sec. Geez i have a bad memory."
Captains of the west just look at each other.
"I had that paper somewhere. Ah here it is! Sauron says :Meet me-second floor Barad-dur.. wait thats not the right one."
Captains still just stare
"Uh, yeah well. He said his Liuetenant gets to stay in isengard. Hey its not me i promise! You can never, hm..what was it..?"

BeardofPants · 06-04-2002, 03:38 PM

Nienor: I am your sister.

afro-elf · 06-04-2002, 04:21 PM

Gandalf

You shall not pass GAS

I'd prefer to be gandalf the pink ( well maybe ian mckellan might)

some call me Tim

Tar-Elendil · 06-04-2002, 04:43 PM

i think they couldve done better on the casting for the role of gandalf...gandalf being ian mckellan is just strange

afro-elf · 06-04-2002, 04:48 PM

With ian as gandalf maybe that g rune stands for gay

06-04-2002, 12:12 PM	#1
Samwise Gamgee Hobbit Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 17	They'd never say that! This is just for a bit of fun, but can be REALLY funny. It's simple, too. All you gotta do is put in a quote that a LoTR character wouldn't say. Here are some of mine: Sam: Actually, I don't think I will argue this time, Gollum. Help yourself to the Ring and that bitch Frodo, too. Elrond: It is decided, then. The Ring must be destroyed. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast into the fiery chasm from whence it came. Everybody ok with that? (All heads turn to Boromir) Boromir: What? Of course that's alright. This is a Ring embodying the Dark Lord's evil, how can any of us possibly weild it for good? Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Balrog: (Looking over shoulder to orcs) No, but I really think he doesn't want us to cross... you tell him- he's scary! Legolas: Tree? What tree? (Thump) Arwen: If you want him, come and claim him. (Claws out!) Elrond: Break it down funky style! Pippin: Whew! I couldn't eat another bite! Sauron: Does this blouse go with my eye? Sauron: Hey, Gandalf. Why don't we all just forget about this Ring and sail West? Theoden: (On reaching the Pelannor) Oh, there are a few more orcs here than we'd thought. Right, about turn, I'm going home. What? They don't even know we're here- they won't miss us! Aragorn: I never wanted to be the King of all Gondor and Anor. I wanted to be... a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they floatr down the mighty River Isen! Oh, I'm a lumberjack... Try it, it's great fun! __________________ ...as if struggling with tears. “No, I’ll go home the long road with Mr. Frodo or not at all...

06-04-2002, 12:27 PM	#2
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	Gimli: (upon being given some mithril) What? This is rubbish! Give me leaves and trees and fresh air any ol' day! Legolas: Ugh, I hate the beach. __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

06-04-2002, 12:37 PM	#3
Garina Elf Lord Join Date: May 2002 Location: Tring, Herts, England Posts: 582	LOLOLOL!!! Those are funny! Ummm... Arwen: Actually, Estel, I've been having second thoughts about this whole mortality thing... Merry: Want some Longbottom Leaf? Pippin: Nah, I've given up. Smoking is bad for you, you know! __________________ Entmoot Resident Bard #2 Wielder of the shiny fire extinguisher Worshipper of the divine cheesecake Hamsters and Rangers everywhere, rejoice!!! Minsc, Baldur's Gate 2 Children, don't take drugs. Become a pop star, then people give them to you for free!!! - Billy Mack, Love Actually. While I'm sure the nice people from the local archery club meant well, a moment's consideration would have made them realise that giving my friend and I lethal weapons was probably not a good idea! Dammit, eyeliner and dreadlocks should not be that sexy!

06-04-2002, 01:04 PM	#4
Tar-Elendil Númenorean Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,050	Thingol after Beren asks for Luthiens hand "Sure, I dont mind." __________________ Why can we not be sober..

06-04-2002, 01:05 PM	#5
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	the Rohirrim: quick let's eat the horses Eowyn: Nah, I'll stay home and knit. By the way do these high heeled shoes match my long flowery dress? __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

06-04-2002, 01:07 PM	#6
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Feanor: Sure Yannna you can have the Silmarils. Melkor nah let him be. __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

06-04-2002, 01:12 PM	#7
Tar-Elendil Númenorean Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,050	lol.. Gandalf in Moria.:"A Balrog? Oh screw this! Let me out first!" __________________ Why can we not be sober..

06-04-2002, 01:35 PM	#8
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	Legolas: "I like girls."

06-04-2002, 02:09 PM	#9
Elbereth Gilthoniel Enting Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: israel Posts: 80	Gandalf: I'll be happy to answer all of your questions. __________________ O Elbereth! Gilthoniel! We still remember, we who dwell In this far land beneath the trees, thy starlight on the Western Seas.

06-04-2002, 02:31 PM	#11
Andúril The Original Corruptor Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 2,881	I'll stand my ground.

06-04-2002, 02:32 PM	#12
Radagast The Brown Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Israel Posts: 6,975	Gullum: Frodo, take my precious, please ... Frodo: sorry, I son't want it. __________________ Lalala... poof! AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

06-04-2002, 02:34 PM	#13
Starr Polish Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Slow down and I sail on the river, slow down and I walk to the hill Posts: 2,389	::enter rabid fangirl:: Frodo: I'm so glad this ring came to me! Sam: Eek! A bug! __________________ “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.” –Bertrand Russell

06-04-2002, 03:22 PM	#14
Radagast The Brown Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Israel Posts: 6,975	Legolas: Do you want to go to Khazad Dum? Gimly: No. Why won't we go to Mirkwood? __________________ Lalala... poof! AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

06-04-2002, 03:30 PM	#15
Lelondul Swan-buggerer Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The rainy, grey north Posts: 69	Eomer, looking at Arwen : "She is a looker Aragorn - a drinking contest for her hand then?" Aragorn: "My friend, I was downing flagons of Dorwinion when you were in a manger. Prepare for a bitter defeat!" (guzzles first pint, slams down tankard) Turin: "It's a beautiful life" __________________ - Lelond, your friendly neighborhood Adan

06-04-2002, 03:31 PM	#16
Tar-Elendil Númenorean Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,050	The Mouth of Sauron "Uh, yea Sauron said some stuff like uh. Hm. One sec. Geez i have a bad memory." Captains of the west just look at each other. "I had that paper somewhere. Ah here it is! Sauron says :Meet me-second floor Barad-dur.. wait thats not the right one." Captains still just stare "Uh, yeah well. He said his Liuetenant gets to stay in isengard. Hey its not me i promise! You can never, hm..what was it..?" __________________ Why can we not be sober.. Last edited by Tar-Elendil : 06-04-2002 at 03:34 PM.

06-04-2002, 03:38 PM	#17
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	Nienor: I am your sister. __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

06-04-2002, 04:21 PM	#18
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	Gandalf You shall not pass GAS I'd prefer to be gandalf the pink ( well maybe ian mckellan might) some call me Tim __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.

06-04-2002, 04:43 PM	#19
Tar-Elendil Númenorean Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,050	i think they couldve done better on the casting for the role of gandalf...gandalf being ian mckellan is just strange __________________ Why can we not be sober..

06-04-2002, 04:48 PM	#20
afro-elf Hoplite Nomad Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 3,931	With ian as gandalf maybe that g rune stands for gay __________________ About Eowyn, Does anyone know what her alias Dernhelm means? She was kown as dernhelm because of her exclaimation when she realized that the rider's headgear was heavy and obscured her sight. 'Dern Helm" Culled from Entmoot From Kirinski 57 and Wayfarer.