A few ways to tell if you are obsessed with LOTR II

[Rosie Gamgee]

You know you're obsessed when:

You consider youself THE authority on Tolkien in your neighborhood. If friends or family bring it up, you MUST te the conversation to show how much you admire Tolkien.

Every time you watch the movies you keep going, "You know, in the books, it was sooo much cooler, because--" (at this point people tell you to shut up).

You can't imagine life without it.

You keep a copy of the books in the bathroom with the Reader's Digest magazine (and you never pick up Reader's Digest).

You think anyone who likes LotR is your new best friend. They, however, often have other ideas about you.

Everything reminds you of something in Middle-Earth. "That ring SO looks like Narya!", "I could totally build a hobbit hole under that hill right there; it's perfect!", "You know, you guys fighting like that makes me think of the Kinslayings..."

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by Acalewia

your sister named her cat Gollum?! and died it green?!

Wow! I hope not! I'd never have my cat died green, but I'd dye it green .

Originally Posted by Rosie

Every time you watch the movies you keep going, "You know, in the books, it was sooo much cooler, because--" (at this point people tell you to shut up).

Guilty.

[me9996]

These involve AOE and AOE2

You know you're obsessed if:

1. Every time you you send calvary into battle you quote thoeden.

2. You build fortresses with 7 rings.

3. You've made a scenario of helms deep( I have)

4. You are annoyed there is no "Gondor" or "Rohan" Civ(hehehe)

5. You find yourself saying "It's the hosts of Mordor!" every time you see a large army.

6. You can think of a better quote for #5.

7. You build towers just to guard them and call the units guarding them "tower guards"

8. You find yourself thinking how much use you'd have for a troll in the game.

9. You want ensable stodios and microsoft to make a LOTR RTS (I want them to)

10. You call millitia units "Orcs".

[littleadanel]

Originally Posted by Rosie Gamgee

Every time you watch the movies you keep going, "You know, in the books, it was sooo much cooler, because--" (at this point people tell you to shut up).

Originally Posted by trolls' bane

Guilty.

Guilty, too.

[Telcontar_Dunedain]

Originally Posted by Rosie Gamgee

You consider youself THE authority on Tolkien in your neighborhood. If friends or family bring it up, you MUST te the conversation to show how much you admire Tolkien.

Consider? But I am THE Tolkien Authority in my neighbourhood!

Originally Posted by Rosie Gamgee

Every time you watch the movies you keep going, "You know, in the books, it was sooo much cooler, because--" (at this point people tell you to shut up).

Even more so when you do it when you aren't watching the movies.

[Rían]

Originally Posted by ElemmÃ*rë

You start fangirling the planet Venus when you see it in the sky.

I swear, I can't stop staring.

Oh my goodness, ElemmÃ*rë, I am SOOOO guilty of that one!

How about - when your copies of LOTR are held together with duct tape!

When you not only know the quotes in the quote game, you know what part of the page they're on in your favorite copy ("ah, Eowyn's challenge - lower left!")

Originally Posted by Rosie Gamgee

Every time you watch the movies you keep going, "You know, in the books, it was sooo much cooler, because--" (at this point people tell you to shut up).

Guilty three ...

[Acalewia]

Originally Posted by Rosie Gamgee

Every time you watch the movies you keep going, "You know, in the books, it was sooo much cooler, because--" (at this point people tell you to shut up).

Guilty four.

Everytime you feel fabric, you stroke it and say "My Preiousssss" (sp)

[Finrod Felagund]

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.

You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."

She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"

You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.

All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"

You hate Burger King food, butyou ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.

You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from www.LordoftheRings.net

You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.

Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.

You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge £50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?

You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.

You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.

You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"

You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Sindarin Elves to your 5-year old cousins.

You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.

You can actually speak Quenya.

You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.

While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'

You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.

You have a replica of The One Ring.

You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.

You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.

You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!

You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.

You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.

You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessions are offered in your area.

You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.

You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.

You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.

You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.

You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.

At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts

Single ads with the description," short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.

You know The LoTR history better then your family history.

You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.

You know Elvish better then English.

Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.

When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...

You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.

You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.

You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.

You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.

You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.

Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with it's evil powers.

Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

You face every difficult decision with the thought "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter

You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"

A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.

You actually get these jokes and post them on Lord of the Rings Websites.

[neofloyd]

Lets see, here are my top 5

1. Making a hobbit hole which you hang out with your friends in the middle of your back yard.
2. Reinacting Helm's Deep in the woods in your back yard.
3. Failing all your classes because you read LOTR during class to much.
4. Crying the first time read the part where Gandalf "dies."
5. Rocking back and forth rubbing your copy of LOTR in the dark adn whispering" my pressiousss..."

[me9996]

You know you're obsessed if:

1.You avoid trees.

2.You eat raw fish that you catch with your bare hands.

3.You spend every wakeing hour reading LOTR or going around on LOTR web sites

4.You think your home town resembles hobbiton.

5.You go off looking for dragons to slay or steal from.

[trolls' bane]

Originally Posted by neofloyd

Lets see, here are my top 5

1. Making a hobbit hole which you hang out with your friends in the middle of your back yard.
2. Reinacting Helm's Deep in the woods in your back yard.
3. Failing all your classes because you read LOTR during class to much.
4. Crying the first time read the part where Gandalf "dies."
5. Rocking back and forth rubbing your copy of LOTR in the dark adn whispering" my pressiousss..."

No, but I did cry when Theoden died.

[Curubethion]

You know you're obsessed when you start comparing Norman Bates and Gollum.

[trolls' bane]

Who's Normon Bates? Is that like Catfish Bates (yep, that's his real name)? IT's amazing how many ways that name can be correctly interpreted.

[Acalewia]

You know its sad that I've done some of these things

[tolkienfan]

So have I. (actually quite a few )

[Elanor]

Me too. Here are some more:

Freaking out when you find out your brother's best friend's brother is named Rohan (his parents are Indian).

Freaking out when you find out the flowers in your yard are Lobelias, then sharing this information with everyone you meet.

Setting music to various songs from LotR and actually scoring them.

Calling members of your family by their LotR names (they each correspond to a member of the Fellowship).

[Elanor]

Yet more that popped into my head:

When mosquitos attack, you yell, "What do they eat when they can't get hobbit?"

Referring to all chirping insects as neekerbreekers.

Making fan art or fanfiction based on Lord of the Rings, and...

Visiting an online discussion board called Entmoot more or less regularly for six years!

[durinsbane2244]

hehe, nice...im not exactly 6 years, buuuut....

[trolls' bane]

Yay! I'm halfway there! Woot for Moot!

[me9996]

You know you're obsessed with LOTR if:

1:You only eat what they eat in the books.

2:You often go on rediculesly long trips on foot... WITH NO SHOES!!!

3:You always have hobbits on the brain.

4:Any time someone says anything the first thing that pops into your head is "Hobbit".

5:You like or dislike cats becoulse to you they seem like Gollum.

6:You can never go into most restrants becoulse of signs that say
"No shirt
No shoes
No service"
You don't were shoes as you are a hobbit!

7:You say "The black gates Mr. Frodo!" whenever you see a gate painted black.

8:You keep muttering stuff about the trees being so wild these days.

9:You talk like Gollum.

10:You after seeing the first LOTR movie you organised a boycot of the movie as Peter Jacktion messed it up.

11:You have decorated your house as [Insert faveorte town name here]

12:You've read LOTR all the way through 50+ times... And you're keeping track!

13:You eat raw fish(I know I've put this in before but...)

14:You don't swim as you think you're a hobbit.

15:You think yourself very respectable as you never do anything but read LOTR and the hobbit.

And my sister wanted to include this.
__________________
You know you're obsessed if:
1:you do a "Midevil war renactment of the lord of the rings"

2:You steal you sisters plastic ring and say it's your presous

3:You do what we say you do if you're obsessed with LOTR

4:You plant your feet in soil thinking they will grow faster(Editors note:What does that have to do with LOTR?)