Can You Take The Heat? How To Handle Criticism

[Tessar]

I’ve noticed a big problem on many forums, and on review pages for places like fanfiction.net. There have been a few cases of this here already, so I would just like to help out if I can because I’ve had the problem myself and I would love to see Entmoot’s writing forum become a happy, helpful place.

People have trouble accepting criticism.

When it is given to them they become touchy and will act immaturely, drawing more insults and criticism. Only this time it will be an attack on them personally and not on the writing.

As authors most of us are writing to please ourselves, but we also seek praise from other writers. However humble we may try to act, all of us are attached to our works in one way or another. Writing a story is like having a baby, because you go through all the trouble of bringing it up, and you don’t always know if it will turn out all right, but it’s yours and you love it no matter how horrible it seems. Like that sappy love poem you just can’t take off your computer.

How should you react to criticism? Even harsh and unasked for criticism that attempts to sting you as a person and not just your work?

With a light heart!

When you put up a story or poem, ask yourself before you click the ‘post’ button “Am I willing to accept criticism on this piece while taking it all calmly and in a thoughtful way?” If the answer is “No!” then don’t post it. You are only setting yourself up for an online drama that can seep into your real life and make you mentally unhappy for an entire day, if not week. More importantly it can make you physically sick if you let Internet stress follow you even when you’re offline.

If you cannot accept all kinds of criticism then you are not ready to put your writing on the net. The people who hate it are five or six times more likely to post than the people who love it are. It’s just a fact of life.

A good way to look at it is “Take all advice to mind. If you find it to be solid advice, take it to heart. If not, keep it in mind, and if you later find it to be useful, take it to heart then.”

Also ask yourself this: “Why am I posting this story or poem?”

Do you want criticism because you are trying to be a better writer? Do you find it so funny or good that you just have to share it? Are you trying to show how much your writing has improved?

Or, do you want people to hate it so that you can lash out when they criticize it?

Ask yourself honestly, because especially in the last case it can lead to problems outside your writing if you don’t nail it down and deal with it. Have you had a horrible week because of a boss, and so you want to safely lash out? Or are you really posting the story for the entertainment of others?

A special note to my fellow writers is to keep this in mind. If you’re writing fan fics, you are twice as likely to draw flames and criticism because you are taking what one obviously talented writer has written and trying to add on to it, or just down right change it. The people who read your writing will be the ones who read and liked the original work, and so that will make them biased towards your work.

If you write fan fics be ready for every attack and criticism, because it will come.

If you’ve had enough, then stop reading here. I’ve given all the advice for taking criticism that I can give, but it you want some tips for avoiding it in the first place, read on!

[Tessar]

How do you avoid criticism?

You can’t. Not totally anyways. But you can lessen the amounts of it through several small protective actions.

Do not use internet abbreviations! Never. Not during your introduction or story. (‘Hey every 1! I just thought this was sooooooo funny I just had to share! omg you will not believe how totally and amazingly funny this is! Lol!’). It is unprofessional, and it gives a bad impression from the very start. Ok, so you aren’t a pro and you don’t even want to be one? That’s fine, but at least show some semblance.

“Hey every one! I wrote this the other day and I just couldn’t stop laughing. Ahhh I feel so clever some times! Let me know what parts you liked the best!”

Does that strike you as professional? Probably not. I even have a winky face in there. But it’s also less likely to disgust my readers and draw flames from the start. It’s casual, but not ‘far out’.

What if you know you can’t write, but you’re desperate to get your work out there just because?

Don’t start by sending in your large work. Send in small poems and such. They don’t even have to be very good, but they will help people get to know you and get a feel for your writing. Plus if people already know from previous experience that you aren’t a great writer, they can either choose to ignore your work, or help you on to become a better writer.

The biggest tip I can ever give you is…

Use the spell checker.

So many authors refuse to spell check. They aren’t just lazy, they simply refuse because ‘If u don’t like it thn u hav n0 business critizizing Me!’

Dead wrong. Through posting the piece where people can say what they think of it, you are telling people they can criticize you.

Does that mean you must have perfect spelling? Of course not. Even after the spell check I’m sure any of you could read through anything I write and find five or six errors if not more, but doesn’t that beat having to look at all fifteen errors I made in the beginning?

Even Lord of the Rings has spelling errors. I found one in Two Towers the other night, and that book has been around for a long time.

If J. K. Rowling were to post some of her writing online, people would criticize and flame it. They would find spelling errors, grammar errors, sentence structure problems, and things they just didn’t like. Yet she’s still raking in money like crazy and selling her books to frantic fans all over the world. Basically you and J. K. Rowling are exactly alike, only she probably makes more money than you.

So in short, no internet abbreviations, start small, and spell check.

I look forward to reading what you guys and galls have cooking in your mental stew pots, so good luck and keep trying! If you want to see a good example of what can happen when you try hard, take a look at my first writings in the RPG forum and then look at what I’m writing now. I’m still not even anywhere near the good ones like Lief Erikson, or Mathron, but even my small improvements look good compared to what I wrote before.

[Elf Girl]

I agree that this is much needed, here and on places like ff.net. (Where I give a great deal of criticism. Heheh.)

And now for some criticism:

I don't think even the 'hey every one' message is appropriate for an authors note, but that's just my opinion. Perhaps something like: 'Hey everyone! I wrote this the other day and thought it was really funny. Please let me know which parts you like the best.' (Again, just my opinion.)

O, and I'd like to add that if you request criticism (not just reviews, but criticism specifically) you will impress readers with your maturity, and they will probably not be as harsh.

[IronParrot]

Tessar made a very important post here and I think it's a worthwhile read for everyone who posts in this forum, no matter how experienced they think they are with respect to writing. Hence, I stuck it up top.

I think it's important to remember that one of the goals in creating this Writers' forum in the first place was so we could share our works with one another with the common goal of collectively improving upon our writing abilities. The cornerstone of that entire endeavour is constructive criticism within the community.

The bottom line is, everybody needs help with the Craft to some extent. Having the courage to post creative work in this forum is an invitation for feedback. If you can't take criticism, it's probably a good idea to think about what your goal is when posting unfinished work.

This especially applies to those of you who want to be published someday. I think a big problem with a lot of wannabe writers is that they are so quick to blame editors for rejecting their work, that they don't back up and realize that maybe it's their problem.

Writing is all about refinement. And refinement is all about being able to take advice. Remember, every written work, no matter how large or how small, needs to have a sense of audience. If the audience thinks there's something lacking, it's probably right.

[Earniel]

Some very good points here.

Having to take (bad) criticism isn't easy, but it isn't the end of the world either. A lot of people who post criticism really want to help. And sometimes what they have to say can really be helpful.

Sometimes a reader can pick up a problem in plot or spelling that you completely missed, even if you yourself have reread your story at least ten times already. A different view can also give a writer some inspiration to change and improve a story or even some ideas for another piece of work.

Although I think it also needs to be said that, since being able to accept criticism takes some effort, so it is with giving good, constructive criticism. Sometimes critics critise only to be needlesly cruel. I know one or two people who only post comments to insult the writer.

Personally I think one needs to be able to point out good points of a story as readily as one can point out the flaws.

[Tessar]

Originally posted by Eärniel

Personally I think one needs to be able to point out good points of a story as readily as one can point out the flaws.

*grin* I almost went into that, but the subject of GIVING advice is a whoooooole nother paper .

[Echthelion]

Very well written, Tessar. I understand completely why those who cannot accept criticism have their problems, for I share their sentiment from time to time...in fact, more often than not. It is rather ironic that I found your post first among all the others because I have recently submitted something to Benjamin to hopefully be posted as fan fiction. I will keep your post close to me and read it over a few times before I read the replies and comments about my post.

I will also remember to keep it in mind when I write other things - for instance, reports at my place of business, or even adventures for my fellow RPG-playing friends.

Many thanks for your kind wisdom.

Echthelion
Elf-Lord of Gondolin, the Hidden City, whose name was bestowed unto the Father of Denethor, High Steward of Gondor in the Waning Years.

[Nurvingiel]

I can take it guys, criticise away! I think anyone who plays sports with any degree of success can handle criticism. It is how you learn from your mistakes.

You can be as harsh as you want as long as
1) you are polite so I know it's not a personal attack
2) back up your opinion with examples and facts, so I know what you mean, and can improve.

If you think my writing is crap, tell me so in a nice way and explain why.

Looking forward to your reviews!

Cheers, /\N/\

[Giroth]

I think as long as the criticism is constructive,it isn't bad.If the reader tells you the good points of your writing while pointing out parts that need work in a nice way,with examples,it is good.You have more of a desire to continue and improve this way,rather than being completely ripped with your writing,which can cause you to want to just quit.

[Rosie Gamgee]

Some very good advice here! I myself am very prone to succumbing to anger when people critisize me. With that, however, comes a certain knowing how to swallow my pride- although sometimes I'd rather chew on it for a while. Believe me, it gives you a sour stomach if you don't get rid of it right away! Bitterness toward people who comment and critisize is not even healthy, as before stated. It can drive you nuts for weeks, if you let it.
Just know that people who post at all- whether the content of their feedback is good or bad- care enough about what you wrote to actually say something.

[Nurvingiel]

Good point Rosie. I'm very attached to my story, but I welcome all reviews good and bad anyway. I actually haven't had a lot of reviews, so I haven't had to deal with a tough review.

When you put up a story or poem, ask yourself before you click the ‘post’ button “Am I willing to accept criticism on this piece while taking it all calmly and in a thoughtful way?” If the answer is “No!” then don’t post it.

You're absolutely correct Tessar. But if people were asking themselves this question when they posted, they be mature people who were willing to accept reviews for what they are - suggestions.

Here's a good article from ff.net: Reality Check, Issue 8.

[Entlover]

Tessar makes some very good points (well, last year, but they're still good).
I joined an online flash fiction group to improve my writing, and it has helped a lot. We all criticize each other, nobody is rude, and everybody benefits.

I find that people are more positive than negative in their criticism, but there are those few who like to carp.
Almost everybody starts out by writing junk, but improves over time. Negative people just haven't realized that yet.

I haven't posted as much lately as I've been writing the monthly Fantasy Column for www.alienskinmag.com It's lots of fun, but takes way more time than you'd suspect. They accept short (sci-fi and fantasy) fiction, if anybody has short stories they want to submit. No fan fic, however.

[Yodaman]

If someone starts being cruel in their responses, like 'Your character is so @#$#$@ gay', 'your story is the stupidest thing I've ever heard', or other similar stuff, would it be okay to start flaming at the flamers?

[Earniel]

In my opinion it's never okay to flame people, even if they started it. From one thing comes another and before you know you've got a flame war on your hands. Some people write flaming critique just for the purpose of getting you mad, I'm not planning on giving them what they want.

If I get a comment like 'this sucks' (I never had them with stories, but I had them with drawings) I don't think it's even worth to bother with flaming. If the best critique they can give is something like that then they're not even worth my time.

[Tessar]

Originally posted by Yodaman
If someone starts being cruel in their responses, like 'Your character is so @#$#$@ gay', 'your story is the stupidest thing I've ever heard', or other similar stuff, would it be okay to start flaming at the flamers?

I'll quote myself on this one :

"How should you react to criticism? Even harsh and unasked for criticism that attempts to sting you as a person and not just your work?

With a light heart!"

It's NOT okay to start flaming back at someone. Do you think it will solve anything?

What you should do (on entmoot) if someone starts flaming you like that is contact a Moderator, or an Admin, and they will deal with it.

[fangorn]

I often want to write posts along the lines you did, but I am too cognizant of how brittle people's ego's are. On some of the larger Tolkien Sites, like 'Tolkien Fanatics' where the Fan Fic and Poetry stretches on FOREVER, I find it extremely hard to bite my tongue sometimes.

To put it bluntly, some Fan Fic and Poetry is absolute garbage, and it does not take a Rocket Scientist to understand that. How do you politely tell someone they have no business creating poetry? And the replys to their posts are do-gooders egging them on saying it is good. Is this really a service or a diservice to these people? Should you really speak your mind, or be always supportive, just because they are trying?

I appreciate your effort Tessar, but I do not see a solution to this delema, and I wish so much there WAS one. This was not an easy question, and I expect no easy answer. But I do expect if one of you finds some good stuff out there, share the wealth!

www.TolkienEntmoot.com

[Nurvingiel]

Originally Posted by Yodaman

If someone starts being cruel in their responses, like 'Your character is so @#$#$@ gay', 'your story is the stupidest thing I've ever heard', or other similar stuff, would it be okay to start flaming at the flamers?

Flaming back only brings you down to their level. If you don't flame back, people will respect and sympathize with you. My plan is to not give two hoots if someone flames me, and it totally works.

Comments that mindlessly praise your story are only slightly less useless.

If someone points out something useful, whether in critique or praise, then that's what you would take note of.

Originally Posted by fangorn

I often want to write posts along the lines you did, but I am too cognizant of how brittle people's ego's are. On some of the larger Tolkien Sites, like 'Tolkien Fanatics' where the Fan Fic and Poetry stretches on FOREVER, I find it extremely hard to bite my tongue sometimes.

You don't always have to bite your tounge. Write your response assuming that the author is young and inexperienced. (Write only what you would say to a 12-year-old writer posting for the first time.)

If I was CCing complete drivel, I would point out one good thing (if there was one), and suggest a correction to the worst aspect of the writing in a kind way. Then slowly but surely, their writing will improve. The trick is to find someone who, despite the fact that their writing stinks, is honestly trying to improve. Somehow that makes a bad story a lot easier to read. (And you know it's worth the time to read and CC. Why even read something that's bad and not an attempt to improve?)

[Thraxon]

i am an ispiring writer and so am use ot critism but my stuff has yet to be called !@#$%^& Gay

[rael]

hey tessar i cannot help but wonder how do you take critisism yourself i take it fine but only because i am fully open to new ideas i am curently writing my own book you can view it by going to www.homeschoolblogger.com it has a good load of stories by yours truly and features the dryhaven trilogy my book
mwahahahahahahaha
yea and how do i become somethimg other than a hobbit

[Snowdog]

If the criticism isn't constructive, I usually just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and move on.