Vampire Story

[Eruviel Greenleaf]

As some of you may know, seeing as it's about all I talk about, I've been working on a vampire story for quite some time. Now, it's far from being finished, but I'm interested in what people might have to say about it. I need feedback, that sort of thing. And what better place to ask for that than the 'moot?

However, this story is incredibly long. Bordering on about fifty pages, actually. So, I'm wondering if anyone would be willing to read it, or part of it, and give me feedback? I suppose I could attatch it here if people seem interested (once I find my floppy disks. . .that might prove a challenge. This being the problem with having just returned home for the summer from college...I can't find anything!) or email it, or whatever. So, anyone interested? Here's a brief synopsis, just so you have a vague idea of what I'm talking about...

here goes, and let's hope I don't get in trouble with the authorities for putting their secrets on the internet ...

Emma Kerrigan O'Brien was taken at a young age by a secret organization devoted to the disposal of all undead or otherwise harmful supernatural beings. The rest of the world does not know about their existance, nor the existance of the supernatural, and both the Demon Council and the Service, as they call themselves, wants to keep it this way.
So here is Emma, a young Slayer of about 25 years, and she hates her job. The Service wants to keep her because her Death Sense is strong, and she's good. However, the Demon Council--some of the only sort of real organization the Supernatural Beings have, but by now it's falling into corruption--wants her dead, because she keeps knocking off their best people. So, when she is sent to "dispose of" a particuarly powerful vampire who resides on an island off the coast of western Scotland (who, by the way, doesn't really like the Council), they arrange for it to be a big trap. However, upon her arrival there, Emma does not call for back up, and decides that even though the sitation is looking hopeless, she is going to give it her best and if she dies, so be it.
So, she goes in and the vampire eventually disarms her, but instead of killing her, he Turns her. So most of the story is about her adjusting to being a vampire, and her adventures therein.

Yeah, nice BRIEF synopsis, wasn't it? Oh well. So, what do y'all think?