Do nazguls have to go to the bathroom? and other pointless questions

I'm really bored so... this is sort of a game or something I'm making up. I'll ask an incredibly stupid question, and you guys give me equally ridiculous answers. <font color="#ffffff" size="4">The Rules:</font> 1: Answers to stupid questions must be entertaining and unexpected, but must make sense 2: You can only give 1 answer for each question 3: Points will be awarded to whoever posts the best answer. Points don't really do anything at all except give whoever wins them a warm fuzzy feeling Here's an example: Q: Do Nazgul have to go to the bathroom? And if they do, how do they do it? A: Well, they don't. Not in the physical sense, that is. However they still must dispose of waste. They just telepathically dump it into the dead marshes. So, here's the first question: A two-headed orc meets a troll in the Misty Mountains. The left head of the orc tries to make friends with the troll, while the right head tries to pick a fight. What does the troll do? <hr noshade color="#000000" size="2"> this entirely unnecessary post has been brought to you by Loopy, goddess of slackdom, eternal nite owl, and creator of PigLatin <hr noshade color="#000000" size="2">

Easy. The right hand of the troll offers to shake with the orc´s right hand, but the troll´s index finger of its left hand goes straight to the orc´s left head´s right eye.

BOLT I, pg68: "<FONT COLOR=GREEN>Beyond Valinor I have never seen nor heard, save that of a surety there are the dark waters of the Outer Seas, that have no tides, and they are cool and thin, that no boat can sail upon their bosom or fish swim within their depths, save theenchanted fish of Ulmo and his magic car.</FONT>" What car does Ulmo drive?

The troll kills the orc. Trolls are not subtle!

I doubt Ulmo drives his own car... He probably has a Maia to do it. As for the type, it's an early 60s model, one with high tail fins.

I was thinking it might be the 57 Dodge model (tail fins) that the cartoon bird-character "Shoe" drives.

Nah! This is Ulmo! He drives the amphibian James Bond car...

Would Hobbit's be considered drug dealers today, and would Gandalf be considered an arsonist?

Re: Would Hobbit's be considered drug dealers today, and would Gandalf be considered an arsonist? <hr noshade color="#000000" size="1"> Gandalf would not be considered arsonist; he would just be an "artist" and dangerous pyrotechnics would be his "art." Furthermore, this would even excuse him dressing in a wizard's hat and robes, and being so moody -- he's not crazy; he's just "eccenteric." It's his artistic temperament. Hobbits as we all know, do not live in the U.S. By now they have all migrated to Amsterdam, where it's perfectly legal to peddle pipe-weed, as they call it. ;p <hr noshade color="#000000" size="1"> this entirely unnecessary post has been brought to you by Loopy, goddess of slackdom, eternal nite owl, and creator of <a href="http://www.piglatin.net"><font size="4">PigLatin</font></a> <hr noshade color="#000000" size="1">

What happens when a dragon sneezes?

A hobbit gets his wings.

Ok, Tom Bombadil is gathering water-lilies for Goldberry. He gathers 5 red ones, 29 white ones, 74 yellow ones, 24 blue ones, 31 purple ones, and 1 gold one. Meanwhile, Goldberry gathers waterlilies for Tom, and only gets one tangerine one. What happens when they meet in the middle of the Withywindle if Tom swims at 1.5 km/hr, and Goldbery dog-paddles at .09 km/hr?

A Barrow-wight loses his arm. Next: If an Orc was on trial today for criminal charges, could he claim insanity? Could he say 'Morgoth/Sauron made me do it!'

Do you think you could get away with a "the devil made me do it" defense? I guess you never know these days...

I feel that people get away with the Devil-made-me-do-it tactic. It's called the insanity plea. [/rant] ;D Which Middle-Earth character was the best dancer?

OK, then, to answer your question about the defense (and I agree with your rant, BTW), the answer would be no. Because in Middle-earth they just weren't into all that liberal criminals have more rights than vicims stuff. Who's the best dancer? Too easy, it's Gollum. Who can forget his dancing around with a severed finger shouting "Precious!", followed by tripping into a volcano? No one can top that!

gads zooks what a bunch of warg.

Ok, here's a real thinker for you. If Helm's Deep had been made of the stuff it's made of for the movie, how long would the battle take? Who would win? I wan't 12 point font, doulbe spaced, 3 pages. I wan't it copied and collated. Or you can just post it.

The orcs would win because they're infested with wood-eating termites that destroyed the sets. This occurred in under .1 seconds.

How much Water Hot does it take to get Wormtongue to feel happy?