Some Poems

[Rosie Gamgee]

Thanks!

[Beruthiel's cat]

Here's another poem by yours truly.

Seeking feedback.

Thank you!

My Wish For You
by Beruthiel's cat


My wish for you is simple –
love.

Love to fill the morning with promise,
the afternoon with anticipation,
the evening with tenderness.


Love as comfortable as an old easy chair –
the way it was before
we broke
into cutting shards
and lonely pieces.

Off-kilter, odd lives, starting again
with false stops
and jolts.

You –
in the company of old friends.
Tasting bitter,
finding sweet
among tangled weeds
of doubt –
of pain realized and released.


I –
in the confusion of new.
Winning confidence,
losing respect –
Seeking another freedom,
another bond –
more or less than there was before.

Be happy now that someone has touched you.

(I never could.)

[Lady Ravyn]

i luv it! especially the line about "love as comfy as an old easy chair"- that's the best line. the only thing i see that might be a hinderance are the line breaks (but don't worry, everyone has line-break problems- i know i suck at them other than that, it's great, BC!

[Beruthiel's cat]

Thank you for the comments. I appreciate them.

Because of the cut-and-paste method I used for posting the poem, the line breaks are kind of funky. But as long as you get the message, it doesn't matter much.

Glad you liked it!!

[Amea]

Hi and wellcome to poet's inn, I made this place to be somewhere where people can share poetry and also give comments, I'll start off with one of my own and I would like to have other people fallow up with coments or even another poem:
The Lement of Darkness
Within the darkness inside myself I hide
Within no one do I confide
no one knows the true me
I hide it, so no one will see
I wish to show,
Someone who would understand and would know
But for now I'll never tell
For now no one will know my hell
No one will know why I burn inside
No one will know why I hide
For now I will fight this world alone
For now I am on my own
Fighting within myself to find
My own piece of mind
Trying not to drown
Before I am found
Trying to keep my head above the water
Trying to take each day one after the other
Within the darkness I conceal
All the wounds that will never heal
Wounds within my heart
That could tare me apart
Wounds within my soul
Wounds that will make me lose control...
It's not done yet but I wanted someone to look it over for me, CYA Peoples, keep posting

[Starr Polish]

I do believe there is already a thread like this somewhere in this forum...I'm going to go bump it.

[Nerdanel]

OK, I just wrote a poem in English. I've written a lot in Swedish, but I thought I'd try. I'd love to hear what you think - don't be gentle with me!

You pulled me
out of the window
and you loved me
but only as a friend.
That's what you
always told me;
you knew me
long before I did.

The long summer evenings
when you showed me the world
a world I had only
dreamed of.
And it all
comes back to me;
you knew what I dreamt of
long before I did.

But also the pain and the anger
are a part of this life.
A wound deeper
than my heart.
That's what you
gave me;
you knew how to hurt me
long before I did.

[Beruthiel's cat]

Hey there!!

I actually wrote a poem using rhyme and meter!!! I was fooling around, and this is what came about.

Let me know what you think...thanks!!

Untitled
by Beruthiel's cat

The colors of my life are found
Outside of tidy lines.
The book to keep them neatly bound
Can never be defined.

The hues are mostly garish,
Then they fade to muddy browns
As happinesses perish
And then trickle to the ground.

There are wide and empty spaces
Where some blues and greens should be --
Incomplete and partial faces
Of imperfect memory.

Tied to the shadow and delight
As patterns form in visions;
Chaotic patterns taking flight --
Results of bad decisions.

Do other peoples' color books
Keep neatly in the lines
Without the scrawls and scowling looks
Elicited by mine?

[Beruthiel's cat]

Originally posted by Nerdanel
OK, I just wrote a poem in English. I've written a lot in Swedish, but I thought I'd try. I'd love to hear what you think - don't be gentle with me!

You pulled me
out of the window
and you loved me
but only as a friend.
That's what you
always told me;
you knew me
long before I did.

The long summer evenings
when you showed me the world
a world I had only
dreamed of.
And it all
comes back to me;
you knew what I dreamt of
long before I did.

But also the pain and the anger
are a part of this life.
A wound deeper
than my heart.
That's what you
gave me;
you knew how to hurt me
long before I did.

First of all, I think you have an excellent command of the English language -- not easy for someone who has to learn it as a second language!

The poem is heartfelt and sincere and evokes an emotional response in the reader, which is, I'm sure, what you intended.

You use repetitive stanzas effectively to make your response.

And please don't be afraid or intimidated by writing in English. You have done a wonderful job and should be very proud of your effort!!

[Nerdanel]

Originally posted by Beruthiel's cat
First of all, I think you have an excellent command of the English language -- not easy for someone who has to learn it as a second language!

The poem is heartfelt and sincere and evokes an emotional response in the reader, which is, I'm sure, what you intended.

You use repetitive stanzas effectively to make your response.

And please don't be afraid or intimidated by writing in English. You have done a wonderful job and should be very proud of your effort!!

Thanks you very much! It really feels good to hear that.

I just loved your poem. It was not only very beautiful and deep, it also felt very good to read it out loud because of the rhyme and meter.
You really write a lot of good poems. I've read all of those you've posted here, but I haven't really told you what I think.
You're talanted.
I hope you keep posting here!

[Lady Ravyn]

those are both really good poems! nerdanel, i love the repeating lines and beruthiel, rhyming is something not seen often in this thread (i know i don't write many rhyming poems); it's nice to see a rhymer once and a while

hey! guess what? i entered my poem "permanence" in a poetry contest, and i made it to one of the top three spots! i find out tonight at the reading whether or not i won, so i'll post the results later

[Nerdanel]

Originally posted by Lady Ravyn
those are both really good poems! nerdanel, i love the repeating lines and beruthiel, rhyming is something not seen often in this thread (i know i don't write many rhyming poems); it's nice to see a rhymer once and a while

hey! guess what? i entered my poem "permanence" in a poetry contest, and i made it to one of the top three spots! i find out tonight at the reading whether or not i won, so i'll post the results later

Thank you!

Wow! Congrats!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.. But making it to the top 3 is really good!

[Beruthiel's cat]

Originally posted by Lady Ravyn

hey! guess what? i entered my poem "permanence" in a poetry contest, and i made it to one of the top three spots! i find out tonight at the reading whether or not i won, so i'll post the results later

Woenderful!!

Please let us know how you do in the standings.

Congratulations!!!

[Amea]

*rolls eyes* I haven't been on and I had wrote some poems. I decided to put them up on moot, So what if someone has a thread like mine as they say "great minds think alike..." If someone already has a thread like this, It happens once and a while, There must have been millions of these kind of threads since the start of entmoot but hevan forbin if I happen to post one... (sorry lots and lots of anger.... LOL) I hate it when someone has nothing better to do than tell you when something you have posted was done before or is wrong... It's not like I stole someones work and called it my own... Plagerism(sp) I just started this so people could give me some feed back on my poems... (thank you for listening to this brodcast Stayed tuned for some new poems, To be posted in a few days)

[Beruthiel's cat]

I don't think it was anyone's intention to slight you, but rather to inform you. I was told the same thing when I tried to post a new thread with a poem. It's easier to keep track of similar things if they are posted together, hence the thread where most poems are posted, the "Some Poems" thread.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of your poetry, so please post again!

[Tessar]

Originally posted by Amea
*rolls eyes* I haven't been on and I had wrote some poems. I decided to put them up on moot, So what if someone has a thread like mine as they say "great minds think alike..." If someone already has a thread like this, It happens once and a while, There must have been millions of these kind of threads since the start of entmoot but hevan forbin if I happen to post one... (sorry lots and lots of anger.... LOL) I hate it when someone has nothing better to do than tell you when something you have posted was done before or is wrong... It's not like I stole someones work and called it my own... Plagerism(sp) I just started this so people could give me some feed back on my poems... (thank you for listening to this brodcast Stayed tuned for some new poems, To be posted in a few days)

Amea, Amea, Amea, chill .

Star in no way slighted you. She simply let you know that there is another place to put your poems.

Why?

Because if everyone made a new thread for poems, there wouldn't be anything but 'my new poem!' threads on this board, as almost all of us write poetry and then post it.

Don't get so upset.

[Earniel]

Merged "Some poems" with the "Poet's Inn".

[Beruthiel's cat]

Here is my latest. It is autobiographical. It's how things were when I was a kid of about 10 or so...a very long time ago. (Pretend you are reading something of an historical nature... )



In Those Summers

by Beruthiel's cat


In those summers
when grass was sharp on bare soles,
and sidewalks radiated rough heat,
I would lay on the green carpet
and watch the clouds paint pictures.

In those summers
when the school stood empty
waiting for September,
I would wait, too, for the
Summer Weekly Reader
to devour cover-to-cover in
the hot dimness of
a horse blanket tented on the clothesline.

In those summers
when the bells clanged two streets over,
I would run inside and dig
through couch cushions for a dime
to buy a 7-up popsicle
from Ken’s white truck
and Willie the mailman whistled his deliveries
down Stapleton Street.

In those summers
when life was measured
by the sighs of cicadas,
I stood full,
waiting for September.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

[Rosie Gamgee]

Very evocative! Cool!

[Nerdanel]

I like your poem very much, Beruthiel's Cat! It really reminds me of my childhood summers.. *starts dreaming*

I've written my second poem in English! I just wrote it down, and I haven't really had time to think it through. But here it is anyway:


I see my hands shake
I feel my lungs cry:
>If this is what they wanted
>a body made exhausted
>by lack of fuel and loss of energy
>then I only had a pathetic vision
>and deserve this fate.
Only black energy left.

And the last and only thought
crosses my earlier so crowded mind:
>there has to be a reason
>why too much pain
>suddenly can turn into
>a gentle feeling of nothing.
No pain.