Join the Dark Side

[Elanor]

Do you want to be feared?

Do you want power? Want to avoid death? Want to get away from your dull, boring existence?

Then we have the place for you!

Join the Dark Side and you never have to listen to that phony old Jedi Master again.

Requirements: Must be tall (or at least intimidating), angry, and have bad social skills. Preferred if strange scarring exists, including (but not limited to): inability to breathe properly, black/red tatoos on face, mechanical limbs, distorted face, lack of human body. Must first be apprentice. Only two there are. Sorry.

Priveleges: Unlimited opportunity for torture, murder, and lame speeches. You don't have to control your feelings-- let it all out. No limitations on personal relationships, and you can reshape the political structure around you without the tiresome bother of elections or persuasion. Also, you can wear as much black as you want, and if you're impressive enough you can have interesting headgear as well.

You also get the coolest lightsabers!

So join the Dark Side today. It is your destiny.