Erin the Elf: Preface

[Lief Erikson]

Finished reading these two segments. Thanks for providing them.

I am a little unsure as to the pace I'll be able to continue to read during the next week. I may take a while.

[Nurvingiel]

I can slow the pace down next week. Everyone else in this thread will have a chance to catch up.

[Lief Erikson]

Want to post a couple more now, though?

[Nurvingiel]

Twist my rubber arm. I'll post one, finishing up part II.


The forest disappeared abruptly as their path led them into an open area. Erin could see a dock and a small boathouse in the distance. They were in a beautiful marsh which was criss-crossed with small streams. A thoughtful person had added logs to cross the streams, and they mostly indicated the driest, firmest route. Erin, Tyler, and Emily made their way towards the stream, where the path ended at the dock.
“A path a path a path a path!” said Emily in a high, funny voice.
“What?” said Erin. “Are you talking about that shrubbery?” she asked, indicating a small bush near the dock.
Tyler laughed. “Random!”
“Anyway,” observed Erin, “The stream is quite wide here. It’s practically a proper river now.” It cut distinctly through the marsh, fed by the many small creeks.
“It is a proper river, it’s officially called the Stoody here,” Emily said.
“Is this where we’ll meet Brent?” Erin asked unnecessarily. She noticed that ‘Headwater Landing’ was painted on the boathouse in faded red paint, but some questions had to be asked.
“Actually, I was expecting him to be here already,” said Tyler. He frowned, thinking of the numerous dangers Brent faced. “But I’m not worried,” Tyler relaxed, “Brent’s been through much worse than what Tolemy might throw at him.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting Brent,” said Emily, mirroring Erin’s thoughts. “We’ve heard so much about him already. Not just your story Tyler; he’s famous even in the Forest. So are you actually,” she added shyly.
The three friends went down to the dock and unshouldered their packs. Emily stood knee deep in the water, something that Erin noticed she did at every opportunity. Erin and Tyler followed sat on the edge of the dock, removing their thick-soled army boots and smelly socks. They reclined contentedly on their packs and dangled their feet in the water. Erin, Tyler and Emily rested in an easy, comfortable silence. Erin and Emily wanted to hear the rest of Tyler’s story, but didn’t press him. As if reading their minds, Tyler said, “I think General Brent himself can tell you the end. He kind of has to anyway, since I was injured for part of it.”
“Argh! More teasers,” groaned Emily in mock frustration.
Tyler grinned, and drained his last drop of water to soothe his tired throat. He was fairly taciturn in normal conversation, but could tell an excellent tale when he was in the mood.
“Go into my pack and have my canteen. It’s almost full, since I drink like this when I can.” She kicked one foot out of the water as explanation.
“How exactly do you differ from ordinary trees?” asked Tyler. He got Emily’s water and started drinking it.
“In two ways. Erm, this is actually a bit long-winded and boring,” Emily said apologetically. Tyler and Erin looked at her expectantly. They knew a topic that was potentially boring to her listeners wouldn’t stop her. “Well,” she continued, “First of all, our trunks (she indicated her midsection) branch into two legs instead of a complicated root system. Our feet are tough for walking, but they still act like roots, absorbing water and nutrients. We can also photosynthesize with our skin, not just our leafy hair, which is very cool.” Emily was excited now, Tyler’s story momentarily forgotten. “Energy from roots and light is enough for trees, but because Trees are mobile, we need a lot more. We eat food that we can decompose, where trees would have to wait for detritovores to do it. And then, of course, we are sentient, while our tree cousins are not. We can still communicate with them though. We can sense what trees have felt and experienced, if they wish to share it.” Erin’s sharp eyes spotted a boat in the distance, piloted by a lone figure. The boat had just emerged from where the river entered the forest.
“It’s General Brent! It must be!” she said, pointing.
“Good spotting Erin,” Tyler sat up, impressed. “I can’t tell if it’s him from here, but you must be right.” As if to confirm their suspicions, a large raven flew out of the trees, winging speedily towards them. It soon landed on the dock, and Erin recognized her as the one who left to deliver their message two days ago. She walked over to Tyler, and returned to him his ring.
“Thank you,” said Tyler, putting it on. Erin saw it glow green, briefly. General Brent approached them quickly, paddling strongly up the slow moving river. Erin knew that when Brent arrived, they would hear the end of the tale of the Dragon Wars. Its conclusion signaled the start of their own tale, and Erin wondered how it might end.

[Earniel]

Nice story, Nurvingiel. I enjoyed reading it so far. Interesting tidbit about the missing elf-princess.

[Nurvingiel]

Ah. Glad you noticed that little detail Eärniel.
Now let's get get Part III going! This part is not yet complete, but I've written about seven or eight segments so far. It will probably end up the same length as Part II, maybe a bit longer.

Enjoy!



Brent’s canoe glided smoothly up to the dock. Everyone stood back to give him room to get out, and tie up his canoe. Tyler, Emily, and Erin were all quiet, but for different reasons. Tyler was standing comfortably, glad to see his old friend. Emily was waiting to be introduced, and didn’t want to be the one to break the silence. Erin found that she was strangely shy. The Raven hopped to the end of the dock, head cocked, listening.
Tyler and Brent shook hands heartily, hugging each other with their free arms. “It’s good to see you Brent. You have to tell us everything new about Tolemy. But first, let me introduce Emily, a Tree, and Erin, an Elf,” said Tyler formally.
“I feel like I already know you Brent,” said Emily.
“I was telling them about the Dragon Wars,” explained Tyler.
“But what about the part where you, er…” questioned Brent. Tyler knew what he was talking about, but Erin and Emily were left in the dark.
“Well, I didn’t get that far yet. I was hoping you would tell that part of the story,” said Tyler. Emily drew a circle around herself with her index fingers.
“I’m on the Island of Ignorance,” she whispered to Erin, as Tyler and Brent had their own conversation. Erin laughed, but then became more serious.
“Sorry to interrupt your reunion, but what are we going to do with only one canoe?” she said.
“Hm. Well, the boat house usually has one or two,” said Tyler. He walked up to the old boat house, whose walls were leaning slightly. “We can borrow one… it’s for a good cause after all.”
“Slight understatement,” said Brent. Tyler opened the old doors to find them surprisingly well-oiled. Inside was a rowboat, a canoe, and space for more boats.
“Oh,” said Emily, looking in, “You mean actually borrow. I thought you meant ‘borrow’,” she said, making quotation motions with her fingers.
Erin went to the end of the dock and sat down next to the raven, who was quietly eating an unidentifiable item. “Er, do you have a name, or should I just call you Raven?”
“My name is Kim, but you can call me Raven,” she replied.
“Okay Kim, if it’s alright, I’d like you to take a message to Meg.”
Kim stopped eating and listened eagerly. “Just tell me and I’ll take it. It’s what I do.”
“Please tell Meg not to worry about me. I know that the other recruits will be home now, and the reason I’m not among them is because I’ve joined up with Tyler,” Erin paused. “I want to tell her that we’re going to try to overthrow the Evil Overlord, but I don’t want anyone but her to hear.”
“I can guarantee that; I have powerful magic,” assured Kim.
“Davp,” Erin continued, “Tell her that, and also, that I’ll take care of myself, and try to do the right thing.”
“No problem,” said Kim. “What does davp mean?”
“Oh, it’s just a word I like to use from time to time. It will make sense to Meg. It’s the first word I ever knew, maybe I even got it from my real parents, whoever they were,” Erin said thoughtfully.
“I’ll make sure I pronounce it properly as well,” said Kim. “Now I just need something that connects you with Meg.” As Kim and Erin talked, Tyler, Brent and Emily got the other canoe out of the boathouse and started distributing their gear.
“When I was a little girl, and Meg was quite new at Third West, she used to braid my hair. How about if I give you a lock of hair?” said Erin, drawing her dagger.
“Perfect.” The razor sharp edge of the dagger sliced an inch of hair neatly from the end of her braid.
“That will be good for my split ends too,” Erin added.
“Erin!” Brent said suddenly. Erin turned, startled. “Aaah! Did you just cut your hair? You did! Your gorgeous hair!”
Erin was slightly taken aback. “Erm, well, it’s good for split ends, and it really wasn’t that much, relatively. I have very long hair.” Erin sheathed her dagger carefully.
“Yes. Er, sorry. It’s just that you have really nice hair.”
“Erm, thanks,” Erin couldn’t hide her deep pink blush.
“Aw, Erin’s so cute when she blushes,” said Emily. Erin’s cheeks took on a brighter magenta hue. “Oh. Inappropriate teasing. Must learn how to interact more with non-Trees…” Emily walked down the dock quietly muttering mental notes to herself.
“Anyhoo,” said Tyler, “Are you guys ready to go?” Erin’s blush faded almost instantly. “I was thinking I would steer one canoe, and Brent, the other. Unless you guys know how to paddle.”

[Goldberry1]

i'm interested to hear about the end of this tyler/brent flashback, what with the foiling of the assassination and whatnot...

enjoying the story! very good!

[Nurvingiel]

“No idea,” said Erin.
“Trees and boats don’t really happen,” said Emily, as she rejoined the group.
“Well we can show you the basics when we get in the water,” Brent reassured them. Emily looked slightly dubious. “It’s all you’ll need.”
“If you say so, I guess,” said Emily. “I’ll refill all your canteens before we go. The water is very good here.” Brent and Tyler examined the new canoe.
“Do you think it’s been out of the water too long?” asked Brent.
“It looks like it’s in pretty good condition,” said Tyler. The canoe was sky blue with ‘The Blue Swift’ painted in faded navy letters on the side. “It’s very light too.”
“It’s the best alternative anyway,” said Brent resignedly.
“It’s a great canoe!” Tyler protested. “Emily, will you come in this canoe with me, because it’s sturdy and won’t capsize?”
“Sure Tyler,” she replied, “But watch it. Such talk has caused many a Tree’s camping trip to pour with rain. Though, that’s not always bad,” she added randomly.
“I’m confuzzled.”
“You know, when people say ‘Oh look how sunny it is, we don’t need to bring rain gear’ right before they go camping. Then, of course, it rains. The same could apply to canoeing.” She made sinking and swimming motions with her arms.
Tyler nodded his understanding, smiling slightly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Erin and Brent were ready to go. Kim landed on the bow of the Blue Swift and looked pointedly at Emily and Tyler. They took the hint and boarded quickly, tossing their packs and canteens into the middle. Brent guided his canoe to the middle of the river, and Tyler followed smoothly. Erin and Emily held their paddles, awaiting instruction.
The river was deep and fairly wide. Its bottom alternated between sand and round, grey rocks. Tyler and Brent explained various features of the river. Though the canoeing would be fairly easy, they had to keep an eye out for log jams, trees that had fallen into the water, and sweepers – fallen trees whose roots were still attached to the bank. These trees are more dangerous than large rocks, they explained, because water flows under them, leading your canoe to certain doom. Rocks should also be avoided, as well as sandbars that might be too shallow to canoe over.
“That being said,” said Tyler, “You don’t have to worry about steering at all. You just have to warn us about the danger ahead. Later, we might show you a stroke that reinforces our ruddering, but for now, all you have to do is be the power.”
“Power, mwahaha,” said Erin. “Never mind.” Only Emily seemed to get it.
“There’s nothing worse than someone who tries to steer from the bow,” added Brent. “Not that we think you guys would do that.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Emily.
“Right. So we’ll just show you how to hold the paddles, and how to paddle of course, and we’ll be off,” said Tyler.
“Ah. Actually paddling,” emphasised Erin, as she mentally reviewed all the dangers of the river.

Soon, they were well on their way. Kim took off to deliver Meg’s message, and Erin felt it would no longer be rude to hint about the Dragon Wars. Emily beat her to it. “So, back in the day, when you guys were first hanging out…” she started.
“Hanging out nearly getting ourselves killed in creative ways you mean?” Tyler finished for her.
“Well yes,” said Erin. “Do tell.”
“So I’m to take up the story?” asked Brent.
“Well you don’t have to now,” said Tyler, “Just at that one part.”
“Oh yeah. Well I don’t mind telling the tale, but maybe you should start to get me in the right mode. Where did you leave off last time?”
“I believe we had just set out with Queen Gilfrine and her party…” Tyler began.

Tyler and Brent pretended to be warm as Brent helped Tyler prepare the dinner. The Elves seemed fairly impervious to cold, or perhaps they were even more hardcore than Tyler had originally thought. This is not to say that Brent and Tyler hadn’t contributed to the expedition. They were both excellent scouts, and Tyler’s cooking was much better than the average camp meal. If there had been a battle, Tyler and Brent would certainly have held their own. Tyler pulled his toque lower over his ears and reflected how far they had gotten in the past two weeks.


The trip to Baakaraine had been fairly uneventful. They took a circuitous route, and extra time to scout thoroughly. The Elves had come to trust Brent and Tyler much more - Tylard Crete and Elkeriann became especially good friends, though Damiron, Radelle Reddshert, and Bogdran kept pretty much to themselves. They had also come to admire Queen Gilfrine a great deal.

[Lief Erikson]

Finished reading it as far as it is.

[Nurvingiel]

I'll post an update soon! I'm starting a new term at school, and have a cold, but it will come. Do not despair fair Elf Editors!

[Nurvingiel]

In Baakaraine, everyone had expected some trouble. It was crawling with Garrod’s soldiers, but it was the only safe way to cross the Sturgief River. Apart from one incident where Tyler was sure a guard had recognized them, they were able to resupply and leave unchallenged.
It took ten days to reach the foothills. They didn’t meet any trouble on the road – they didn’t even have bad weather. This atmosphere of unbroken good luck was starting to make everyone nervous. The party scouted as much and as assiduously as possible without wasting time.
They then travelled for four days through the foothills. Again, they met no resistance of any kind. The nervous feeling of immanent doom never really left the party. Tyler was beginning to wish that something would happen to them, just to shake their sense of foreboding – a flash flood, meeting a bear, or finally coming across the dragon that was supposed to be ravaging the country-side. Tyler felt as though events would soon come to a head. They were now camped at the foot of Mount Alnus. All they had to do was climb through one pass, and over one ridge. Then, in the next valley, they would find the dragon’s lair.

Tyler and Brent’s vegetable falafels were delicious. They turned out perfectly, even though they were cooked in a risky manner over a campfire. Everyone in the party was gathered around the small cooking fire except for Elkeriann and Fishra, who were scouting. Though the small, smokeless fire provided little warmth, it created a cheerful atmosphere.
“Some dinner Tylard?” offered Tyler.
“Argh. How many times do I have to ask you to call me Ty? I hate the name Tylard,” he said, accepting a falafel.
“It just seems too informal,” said Tyler.
“I know the Human army stands on protocol but…” he trailed off. “Look, we’ve been sharing a tent for over three weeks! How much more informal could we possibly get?”
“Good point Ty,” said Tyler. Tylard rolled his eyes.
“You know what bothers me most,” said Bogdran, “We know the dragon has been destroying villages and ransacking the country, but we haven’t seen one single sign of it.”
“Well there was the burned out village on the road from Baakaraine, it’s just recently that we haven’t seen hide nor hair of it,” Radelle said.
“You could argue that dragons have a hide, but they definitely don’t have hair,” said Yarras, who was standing behind Tyler. Tyler recognised his attempt to lighten the mood, and chuckled. But he didn’t really feel cheerful, and nobody else laughed.
“You know what I miss,” said the Queen, changing the subject, “Sausages from The Brass Monkey.”
“What!” exclaimed Liseffla, “That’s the nastiest pub in the entire kingdom! I’m surprised it’s still in business.”
“Of course it is,” said Gilfrine, “It’s one of my favourite pubs!”
“What about The Keel and Banner? That’s a real pub,” countered Liseffla.
“Okay, that is the best pub, but they still don’t serve the great sausages of The Brass Monkey.”
“I shudder to think what goes in those, you’re sure they’re not just lips and -”
“My Queen!” Elkeriann and Fishra emerged into the small clearing quietly and swiftly. They both looked as though they had been in a battle, and Fishra held a makeshift bandage to her arm. “Two of Garrod’s assassins have found us. We killed one, but the other escaped with only minor wounds. We suspect they know where our camp is.”
“I think Tyler and I would be best equipped to take them out. Having trained with them, we know their habits best,” Brent said, slightly uncomfortable. Tyler nodded, nervous at the prospect of going up against a fellow assassin.
“I agree,” said the Queen. “Not that I want to send you off alone, but I believe any more than two people would attract unnecessary attention.”
“We don’t feel abandoned,” Tyler smiled. “I do request though, that Elkeriann guide us to the slain assassin. Knowing who he is will give us some idea of who his companion is, and therefore what strategy to employ.”
“That makes sense, what little is left of our tracks would take ages to follow otherwise,” said Elkeriann.
“Alright.” To everyone the Queen said, “Strike the camp, we should be ready to leave as soon as possible. We’ll camp in a more defensible place tonight.”

[Lady Ravyn]

"Erin the Elf"?! that's my name!!! cool, i'm an elf, huh? lol
cool story! and very snazzy title lol

[Nurvingiel]

Glad you like the title. I hope to appeal to people named "Erin" everywhere.

What do you think of the rest of the story?

[Nurvingiel]

Tyler and Brent packed only a large canteen of water, emergency food, and a thin blanket each, in addition to their weapons. Brent also carried a first aid kit. Their only armour was toughened leather jerkins – metal armour was simply too impractical on this sort of journey. They piled the rest of their gear neatly, ready to be hastily packed upon their return.
Having just been scouting, Elkeriann was already prepared. Like all the Elves, she carried a longbow, a short sword, and a dagger. Tyler had Drgnslyer, a long knife, and one throwing axe, and Brent carried a long sword, a dagger, and a long knife.
As camp was struck, Gilfrine attended to Fishra’s wound – a sword cut on her right arm. “I’m lucky this wasn’t deeper,” said Fishra, as Gilfrine sutured the gash. Fishra turned to Tyler and Brent. “Be careful guys, I suppose you don’t need to be warned that this guy is tough. He’s the one who got me.” She briefly described the assassin. Brent and Tyler agreed it was Tarrodite.
“Someone needs to warn him that we’re tough,” grinned Brent as they turned to leave, but Tyler could tell he was nervous too.
Brent, Tyler and Elkeriann slipped quietly into the forest. In the first few minutes of their hike, Elkeriann succinctly explained the battle between them and the two assassins, ending with how they partially concealed the dead body under the root mat of a large, fallen spruce. Elkeriann finished her account, and the three friends tacitly agreed that they wouldn’t speak further unless necessary.
After about half an hour, Elkeriann stopped near a large clearing. She motioned towards it, making it clear this is where they left the body, and where Brent and Tyler could pick up Tarrodite’s trail. She shook hands with Tyler and Brent, silently wishing them luck. Elkeriann turned and took a different route back to the camp.
Tyler and Brent paused, still partially hidden in the boreal forest. Tyler reflected that the dense underbrush would aid their enemy as much as them. “Elkeriann said ‘her’, so she was probably Carolyn. She was the least skilled of the three women,” said Brent in low tones.
“And if that’s the case, it makes sense that she was working with Tarrodite,” inferred Tyler, equally quiet. “He was the toughest besides us. I’m sure he knows that we’re after him, and working with the Elves.” Brent looked at him pointedly. Time to get on with it.
Both men knew what plan to follow, and they didn’t need to speak to confirm it. Brent stealthily moved away from Tyler, around the edge of the clearing. He was almost completely concealed in the underbrush.
Tyler crept into the large clearing. The ground was very rough, and sprinkled with younger trees ranging from saplings to thirty-year old trees as tall as he. He saw the fallen spruce, which had until recently stood near the centre of the clearing. The root mat elevated the base of the trunk slightly; in that space, Tyler could barely make out green cloth on what might be an arm. He continued cautiously towards the tree, scanning for any sign of movement from the surrounding forest.
As Tyler slowly neared the tree, his mind was racing. He worried that more assassins had joined Tarrodite and the late Carolyn. He then dismissed the idea because additional people wouldn’t have let Carolyn die without joining the battle. Then, Fishra and Elkeriann would have known about them.
Tyler briefly considered the idea that Tarrodite had left, and was tracking their camp instead. However, he needed to proceed as though he was in mortal danger in case Tarrodite was still in the area. Most likely, he was.
He reached the sleeve, and knelt down next to it slowly, with his back to the large spruce. The trunk was wide enough to give him enough cover from behind – kneeling, it nearly reached his eye level. He slowly drew Drgnslyer. It didn’t make a sound in the well-oiled sheath. With his left hand, he reached down and to his left to grasp what he thought was Carolyn’s shoulder.
He slowly pulled her toward him, and was shocked to find much less resistance than he expected. He was only holding a torn sleeve. Glancing down quickly, he saw pooled blood partially concealed with leaves and moss. The dead assassin’s body had been moved.
Tyler rapidly assumed that he had walked straight into a trap. He was dealing with Tarrodite, his most cunning and dangerous foe.
He dropped the cloth and drew his throwing axe with his left hand, still wielding Drgnslyer with his right. Fearing an attack, he moved to have the root mat at his back, and the trunk to his right. Tyler knelt on one knee, using the protection of the tree as much as possible.
Tyler waited for the attack he knew was coming. Nothing could be heard except the natural sounds of the forest – the trees swaying in the breeze, a distant bird, and an animal rustling in the grass behind the root mat. The hair on the back of Tyler’s neck prickled, and his heart pounded in fear. He stood up quickly, whirling to his left at the same time a sword pierced the root mat. Tyler shifted quickly to stand beside and slightly behind the barrier. He swung his small axe instinctively as he came into his enemy’s view, but he missed his target and embedded it in the roots.
Tarrodite had checked his attack when he heard Tyler move, and only the tip of his sword was still in the tangled roots. Tyler let go of the axe, and smoothly followed his failed attack with his sword. He swung Drgnslyer at Tarrodite’s neck when his sword point was still hampered by the roots, though it was nearly free. Tarrodite blocked left-handed with a long knife, but he was still at an awkward angle. Tyler was no longer at a disadvantage – through fortune and instinct he had the upper hand.
Tarrodite freed his sword in his right hand, and stabbed at Tyler’s mid-section. Tyler stepped backwards and brought Drgnslyer crashing down on the blade. He immediately raised his sword to a guard position – the tip pointing at Tarrodite’s throat. The two combatants were still in close quarters. Tyler faked a sidekick to Tarrodite’s hip, hoping he would move to block. If he didn’t, Tyler would continue his kick full-force, possibly separating Tarrodite’s hip. He had dealt a few blows to this target in countless practice bouts.
Tarrodite did start to block with his knife. Balanced perfectly, Tyler retracted his kick, shifting to his right. Tarrodite’s sword was out of range for now, but Tyler still risked the knife. As he planted his foot, he extended his sword into Tarrodite’s throat. He tried to raise his sword and knife in self-defence, but he didn’t have time. Tarrodite saw his death in Tyler’s eyes.
Tyler cleaned Drgnslyer on Tarrodite’s cloak, listening and watching the forest around him. He hoped Brent fared well; he was scouting the edge of the clearing for enemies.

[Lief Erikson]

Good writing.

In the first post, I found one error in the beginning that I paid attention to. Nothing else really jumped out at me, except quite a bit of the conversation about the falafels felt unnecessary.

Here's the first line and the beginning of the second, from the first post.

In Baakaraine, everyone had expected some trouble. It was crawling with Garrod’s soldiers

When you say "It", in the beginning of the second line, it for a moment confused me. I had to realize whether "it" was referring to Baakaraine or the trouble. It could have been referring to either. Although this isn't difficult to figure out, it's good not to make your readers have to read the lines more than once to know what they mean.

[Nurvingiel]

Good point Lief, I'm very glad you're still reading, you give excellent suggestions. I will change "It" to "the city".

Then it will read:

In Baakaraine, everyone had expected some trouble. The city was crawling with Garrod’s soldiers

What do you think?

[Lief Erikson]

My only problem then is that I wasn't aware Baakaraine was city.

You might want to write it this way:

In the city Baakaraine, everyone had expected some trouble. The place was crawling with Garrod’s soldiers

Or you might identify a little earlier on a bit more clearly what Baakaraine is.

[Nurvingiel]

I didn't realize the setting was unclear. I think I can fit in a description when they first arrive, but that will take a little more work. Thanks Lief.