all I ever needed to know in life....

galadriel · 09-13-2002, 05:09 PM

This is a list that I wrote for my friend's birthday... or at least the more witty sections. Feel free to add on!

All I Ever Needed To Know About Life, I Learned from... Tolkien?

-If you want to marry an Elven princess, thus causing her to forsake her immortality, make sure her father really likes you. It also doesn’t hurt if you’re the rightful heir-in-exile of a prominent kingdom.

-Highborn Elves may ask you for locks of your hair, but in the end, give them to a Dwarf. They’re brave, loyal, and they’ll go around bragging about how wonderful you are for the rest of their existences.

-In a pinch, an apple can prove to be an excellent weapon.

-When a monster approaches that makes all the little monsters scurry away in fear, get out of there.

-A talent at solving riddles can come in handy at the most unexpected times.

-Don’t trust people wearing multicolored robes.

-Always bring rope.

-If you ask an Elf a question, be prepared to hear a song.

-If you ask a wizard a question, be prepared to hear a speech.

-Those who try to categorize Tom Bombadil are looking for a whack on the head.

-It's not Proudfoots, it's Proudfeet.

-Don’t say “good morning” to a wizard unless you want to hear a long diatribe about the multiple interpretations of stock phrases.

-"Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!"

Renille · 09-13-2002, 06:06 PM

LOL...this is great!!

*That eye in the palantir is closer than it may appear.

*When holding a dissapearing party, plan for ten times the refreshments to at least hold everyone's questions off until the next day.

*Pick your heirs wisely.

*If you meet a balrog, look at his wings.

*Just tea, thank you

* Keep precious things secret, keep preciouses safe.

*If something hisses, most likely it's not trustworthy.

galadriel · 09-13-2002, 06:23 PM

Glad you approve! My friend was more interested in the pictures of Legolas that I printed out for her....

Sminty_Smeagol · 09-13-2002, 06:24 PM

*People with greasy black hair are cool (unless they are named Gollum). You should always follow them around so they lead you to your destination while fending off stupid people.

*People with greasy brown hair named Boromir (the person, not their hair

) are cool. You should always let them follow you around and if you get annoyed with them before reaching your destination you can always count on them becoming human pincushions.

*Light is actually originally a liquid.

*Nobody aught to toss midgets.

*always be suspicious of someone if they sneak around in a rotting loin cloth, have sallow transluscent skin and hiss about their precious.

*Elves ACTUALLY had English accents.

katya · 09-14-2002, 09:36 AM

hehehe. i am not feeling very creative at the moment...hm....

*don't throw things down holes "just to see what would happen"

*if you can't get your locker open, try saying "mellon" to it.
(dude what's with all the moria stuff?)

*always be nice to any eagles you meet-it may come in handy

*if most people call him "wormtongue" he probably isn't very trustworthy.

*never laugh at a live dragon (that's kind of more suited to the proverb thread)

ok thats all i can think of

Khadrane · 09-15-2002, 03:40 PM

*If you see a golden ring on the ground and have a sudden urge to control the world, just leave the ring alone.

*When Ringwraiths are after you, it's probably NOT the best idea to put the ring on

*Don't offer Galaldriel the ring if you're epilectic

galadriel · 09-15-2002, 09:05 PM

hehe... I like that last one.

cassiopeia · 09-16-2002, 02:03 AM

*People are easily confused between the FOTR movie and book

*Don't cut down trees

*Don't go on long journeys with the same sex: this starts silly rumours

*Don't make beautiful objects; they only cause trouble

Nibs · 09-16-2002, 12:30 PM

*Most round objects are a serious health hazard.

***Earniel*** · 09-16-2002, 02:54 PM

Inspired by cassiopeia's post (LOL

):

*If the trees walk, it's best to hide your ax.

*print on the plastic wrapping of a silmaril: Unsuitable for Noldorin elves, may cause kin-strife.

*fight orcs off with breath mint.

Dolenloteiel · 09-16-2002, 06:44 PM

I'm not thinking straight but...

* If you don't want to know what will happen tomorrow, stay AWAY from Galadriel
(fotr)
* Never insult a dragon (the hobbit)

*It's nice to know your on the good side of the Valar (the sil)

*Don't kill your kinsman
(the sil)
* Never hold a silmaril in your hand and present it to a werewolf expecting it to let you pass. (the sil)

* Don't sleep when you know the Nazgul are after you
(fotr)
* Sometimes it's better to blaze a trail than to take the road (fotr)

*Contests between Dwarves and Elves are fun (Helms Deep)

*Stay on the good side of your wolf dog (huan, the sil)

*If you fall in love with an elven princess, be ready to sacrifice your hand and your life for her. (the sil)

Some of em are funny

Liviaine · 09-18-2002, 09:17 PM

Yes they are. Really.

markedel · 09-18-2002, 10:51 PM

fair people who feel foul aren't salesmen but servants of Sauron

When in doubt go to Cirdan

Nariel · 09-18-2002, 10:53 PM

*Don't hang too long around Tom Bombadil after escaping a Barrow-wight. You never know what he'll ask you to do.

*Don't get too attached to your pony.

*Don't disturb the water.

*Lakes that start rippling on their own are not safe.

*The dead marshes probably aren't the bast place to have a summer home.

*Don't tempt Gandalf.

*tell people when you're leaving-- you never know if you might come home to find relatives measuring your house.

*Anyone named the Witchking probably wouldn't be a great guy to tease too much.

*Don't mess with dwarves who have Elf, Dunedain, and wizard buddies.

*A fortress with a big red eye over it isn't a vacation spot.

Menelvagor · 09-18-2002, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nariel
*Don't hang too long around Tom Bombadil after escaping a Barrow-wight. You never know what he'll ask you to do.

LOL

Radagast The Brown · 09-19-2002, 04:01 PM

yup, very funny.

at least most of them. Nariel is great.

galadriel · 09-19-2002, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nariel
Anyone named the Witchking probably wouldn't be a great guy to tease too much.

Good advice. I like your sense of humor!

galadriel · 09-19-2002, 09:01 PM

Being the loser that I am, I *just* noticed the typo in the title. Oops! Can a moderator fix this, please?

Beleg Strongbow · 09-20-2002, 01:27 PM

Anything that you can classify as neither living nor dead will NOT make a good friend.

Khadrane · 09-20-2002, 07:52 PM

This is a great thread!

09-13-2002, 05:09 PM	#1
galadriel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: a castle made of clouds Posts: 459	all I ever needed to know in life.... This is a list that I wrote for my friend's birthday... or at least the more witty sections. Feel free to add on! All I Ever Needed To Know About Life, I Learned from... Tolkien? -If you want to marry an Elven princess, thus causing her to forsake her immortality, make sure her father really likes you. It also doesn’t hurt if you’re the rightful heir-in-exile of a prominent kingdom. -Highborn Elves may ask you for locks of your hair, but in the end, give them to a Dwarf. They’re brave, loyal, and they’ll go around bragging about how wonderful you are for the rest of their existences. -In a pinch, an apple can prove to be an excellent weapon. -When a monster approaches that makes all the little monsters scurry away in fear, get out of there. -A talent at solving riddles can come in handy at the most unexpected times. -Don’t trust people wearing multicolored robes. -Always bring rope. -If you ask an Elf a question, be prepared to hear a song. -If you ask a wizard a question, be prepared to hear a speech. -Those who try to categorize Tom Bombadil are looking for a whack on the head. -It's not Proudfoots, it's Proudfeet. -Don’t say “good morning” to a wizard unless you want to hear a long diatribe about the multiple interpretations of stock phrases. -"Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!" __________________ Human kind cannot bear very much reality. dreamflower - for all things Lady Galadriel Last edited by galadriel : 09-19-2002 at 08:57 PM.

09-13-2002, 06:06 PM	#2
Renille Elven Lady of Speed-posting Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: the cheese state Posts: 988	LOL...this is great!! That eye in the palantir is closer than it may appear. When holding a dissapearing party, plan for ten times the refreshments to at least hold everyone's questions off until the next day. Pick your heirs wisely. If you meet a balrog, look at his wings. Just tea, thank you Keep precious things secret, keep preciouses safe. *If something hisses, most likely it's not trustworthy. __________________ Oh the thinks you can think! Think and wonder and dream...far and wide as you dare! When your thinks have run dry, in the blink of an eye, there's another world there... (from Seussical the Musical. Listen to it...watch it...really.)

09-13-2002, 06:23 PM	#3
galadriel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: a castle made of clouds Posts: 459	Glad you approve! My friend was more interested in the pictures of Legolas that I printed out for her.... __________________ Human kind cannot bear very much reality. dreamflower - for all things Lady Galadriel Last edited by galadriel : 09-14-2002 at 12:05 AM.

09-15-2002, 03:40 PM	#6
Khadrane Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle Earth (I wish) Posts: 670	If you see a golden ring on the ground and have a sudden urge to control the world, just leave the ring alone. When Ringwraiths are after you, it's probably NOT the best idea to put the ring on Don't offer Galaldriel the ring if you're epilectic __________________ Few know whither their road will take them till they come to its end. -Legolas FRODO LIVES! ABORTION IS HOMICIDE Last edited by Khadrane : 09-15-2002 at 03:45 PM.*

09-15-2002, 09:05 PM	#7
galadriel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: a castle made of clouds Posts: 459	hehe... I like that last one. __________________ Human kind cannot bear very much reality. dreamflower - for all things Lady Galadriel

09-13-2002, 06:24 PM	#4
Sminty_Smeagol Manic Cardboard-Box Dweller Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In a house Posts: 1,071	People with greasy black hair are cool (unless they are named Gollum). You should always follow them around so they lead you to your destination while fending off stupid people. People with greasy brown hair named Boromir (the person, not their hair ) are cool. You should always let them follow you around and if you get annoyed with them before reaching your destination you can always count on them becoming human pincushions. Light is actually originally a liquid. Nobody aught to toss midgets. always be suspicious of someone if they sneak around in a rotting loin cloth, have sallow transluscent skin and hiss about their precious. Elves ACTUALLY had English accents.

09-14-2002, 09:36 AM	#5
katya Elven Maiden Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 3,309	hehehe. i am not feeling very creative at the moment...hm.... don't throw things down holes "just to see what would happen" if you can't get your locker open, try saying "mellon" to it. (dude what's with all the moria stuff?) always be nice to any eagles you meet-it may come in handy if most people call him "wormtongue" he probably isn't very trustworthy. *never laugh at a live dragon (that's kind of more suited to the proverb thread) ok thats all i can think of

09-16-2002, 02:03 AM	#8
cassiopeia Viggoholic Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 1,749	People are easily confused between the FOTR movie and book Don't cut down trees Don't go on long journeys with the same sex: this starts silly rumours Don't make beautiful objects; they only cause trouble __________________ Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

09-16-2002, 12:30 PM	#9
Nibs Head Hollara Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 751	*Most round objects are a serious health hazard. __________________ "People used to ring up and say 'Don't quit your day job' or 'sell your synth', but the joke's on them: we were fired and the synth is broken!" -John Flansburgh from They Might Be Giants Ever heard of Mormons? I'm one. Click here to know more about us.

09-16-2002, 02:54 PM	#10
*Earniel* The Chocoholic Sea Elf Administrator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: N?n in Eilph (Belgium) Posts: 14,363	Inspired by cassiopeia's post (LOL): If the trees walk, it's best to hide your ax. print on the plastic wrapping of a silmaril: Unsuitable for Noldorin elves, may cause kin-strife. *fight orcs off with breath mint. __________________ We are not things.

09-16-2002, 06:44 PM	#11
Dolenloteiel I elenfea Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Somewhere in the chaos between the first and second ages! (Actually, CO) Posts: 556	I'm not thinking straight but... * If you don't want to know what will happen tomorrow, stay AWAY from Galadriel (fotr) * Never insult a dragon (the hobbit) It's nice to know your on the good side of the Valar (the sil) Don't kill your kinsman (the sil) * Never hold a silmaril in your hand and present it to a werewolf expecting it to let you pass. (the sil) * Don't sleep when you know the Nazgul are after you (fotr) * Sometimes it's better to blaze a trail than to take the road (fotr) Contests between Dwarves and Elves are fun (Helms Deep) Stay on the good side of your wolf dog (huan, the sil) If you fall in love with an elven princess, be ready to sacrifice your hand and your life for her. (the sil) Some of em are funny __________________ "Middle Earth is a real place. And it is New Zealand." Sir Ian McKellan *************************** QUESTION AUTHORITY Ask me anything ************************** "I have not failed, I've only found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison ************************** Visit Tolkien RP Site! Need members, RP all three Ages! (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) http://elvellon.suddenlaunch2.com **************************** "Yay, I can hear the voices in my head again!

09-18-2002, 09:17 PM	#12
Liviaine Elven Warrior Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Ithilien Posts: 203	Yes they are. Really.

09-18-2002, 10:51 PM	#13
markedel 'Sober' Mullet Frosh Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Queen's Posts: 1,245	fair people who feel foul aren't salesmen but servants of Sauron When in doubt go to Cirdan __________________ "Earnur was a man like his father in valour, but not in wisdom"

09-18-2002, 10:53 PM	#14
Nariel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the custody of the Knights who say "Ni!" They want a shrubbery. Posts: 365	Don't hang too long around Tom Bombadil after escaping a Barrow-wight. You never know what he'll ask you to do. Don't get too attached to your pony. Don't disturb the water. Lakes that start rippling on their own are not safe. The dead marshes probably aren't the bast place to have a summer home. Don't tempt Gandalf. tell people when you're leaving-- you never know if you might come home to find relatives measuring your house. Anyone named the Witchking probably wouldn't be a great guy to tease too much. Don't mess with dwarves who have Elf, Dunedain, and wizard buddies. A fortress with a big red eye over it isn't a vacation spot. __________________ I'M NOT A PIRATE! I'M A REDISTRIBUTION ECONOMIST! Marketing Supervisor and Everything Girl for Entmoot's "Lord of the Rings" Avatar Courtesy of "Ye Olde Avatare Shoppe" Sounds like a job for... UBERGEEK!" (special thanks to Finrod Felagund!) I try to make everyone's day a bit more surreal. Funny Error Messages... "Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted." "Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue..." "Bad Command or File Name. Good try, though." "WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F10 to Continue." "I have a spelling checker It came with my PC; It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I cannot sea. I've run this poem threw it, I'm sure your pleased too no, Its letter perfect in it's weigh, My checker tolled me sew." -Janet Minor "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."

09-19-2002, 04:01 PM	#16
Radagast The Brown Elf Lord Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Israel Posts: 6,975	yup, very funny. at least most of them. Nariel is great. __________________ Lalala... poof! AboutNewJersey.com - New Jersey Travel and Tourism Guide

09-19-2002, 09:01 PM	#18
galadriel Elven Warrior Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: a castle made of clouds Posts: 459	oops.... Being the loser that I am, I just noticed the typo in the title. Oops! Can a moderator fix this, please? __________________ Human kind cannot bear very much reality. dreamflower - for all things Lady Galadriel

09-20-2002, 01:27 PM	#19
Beleg Strongbow Truest of Friends Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Pennsylvania, but I have a vacation home in the Westfarthing. Posts: 520	Anything that you can classify as neither living nor dead will NOT make a good friend. __________________ "...Beleg Strongbow, truest of friends, greatest in skill of all that harboured in the woods of Beleriand in the Elder Days..." Aure Entuleva! John Kerry for President!

09-20-2002, 07:52 PM	#20
Khadrane Elf Lord Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle Earth (I wish) Posts: 670	This is a great thread! __________________ Few know whither their road will take them till they come to its end. -Legolas FRODO LIVES! ABORTION IS HOMICIDE

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Philosophy	Noble Elf Lord	General Messages	150	01-25-2011 09:43 PM
When Real Life Meets the Internet	Nurvingiel	General Messages	58	03-26-2009 08:14 PM
Ave Papa - we have a new Pope	MrBishop	General Messages	133	09-26-2005 10:19 AM
The life of Azah, the warrior maiden	Lief Erikson	Writer's Workshop	9	06-12-2005 04:44 PM
If you could respond with your thoughts....	Drgnslyer	General Messages	5	04-14-2005 07:20 AM