Talking problems over.

[Arian]

I had to deal with some issues lately. But coming into a sittution (sp??) with friends. I have this one friend who thinks girls huging girls in a friendly way is gay. I would like your input and do you think it is gay?? (Sorry amins. if I'm using the wrong word, I'm truly sorry indeed, just curious.)

[HOBBIT]

No i don't. Generally, Teenagers are complete and utter morons. They call everything and and anything gay - especially guys. Basically all teens are rotten - with few exceptions. They want to act cool, so they curse a lot and put down ppl all the time. They get away with a lot. All they care about is being popular and they don't care who they step on to get there. Calling ppl gay, anything/everything a person does gay. Now thats gay I mean, they excessively use the word gay especially. and other curse words and words they have no clue what they mean. If you are weird or different or do something different kids call you gay or what you are doing gay. They call teacher's gay, assignments gay, everything gay!! Don't pay any attention as they have no idea what gay even means. :P
And even if a person they were calling gay were actually gay, so what??? Gay people should not be treated harshly. They are just different. Kids are rotten. Sorry, but the truth.

[Khamûl]

I think that you just hit the nail on the head HOBBIT. Just ingore them. It's called "Brotherly Love".

[Arian]

Thanks. I agree with you. I mean just because you give a friendly hug doesn't mean your gay. And my friend thinks that way. I have no idea why. It kinda makes me mad, 'cause I ask for a hug good bye, and all my other friends give me a hug, and she's like no it's lesbian. She cares to much about her repution. I don't give a care. I'm pretty carefree and if someone doesn't like me I really don't care. But she does. O' well she'll hopefully come to realise that.

[Comic Book Guy]

Tristan, who are you to define Teenagers as a whole? I can't remember the last time me and my friends used the word 'Gay' in the situations you gave.

Anyway, besides your excessive use of the word 'gay', everything else such as the popularity ranking and coolness, applies to a lot of Teenagers.

[HOBBIT]

Well let see in general, nottice how i said in general and most. I said exceptions. Maybe your friends are exceptions. CBG, don't you live in another country? Here in the USA, teens excessviely use the word gay. That and fag, and other inoppriopriate names and situations. They also curse a lot. That is the truth. Duh, not every teen does that, but it is true that most do. Maybe teens cursing is only true in the usa, but i bet that popularity thing is universal. What do you mean who am I to make a generalization? :P I can make whatever generalizations that I want. I am a teen and I make observations. I mean kids call shows gay, tv shows gay, clothes gay. Literally everything. They use that as an exuse. "Thats so gay!" just like in arians case. riiight. Well I don't see how clothes are in love with other clothes of the same gender :P

[Darth Tater]

Tristan that's much more of a middle school thing then a general teen thing.

[samwise of the shire]

I was about to say CBG you live in the UK. Kids and people are generally more polite over there than they are over here.(Which is yet another reason I like the UK more than America).
Too bad if she thinks it's gay. Two of the greatest characters in liturary HISTORY hugged each other ALL the time and have been mistaken for homosexuals more than once by more than one person(I'm talking about Sam and Frodo) SO next time he/she/ gets on your case just tell 'em to back off and leave you alone when it comes to hugging your girlfriends. And I dont think it's gay. I hug my friend in public as a greeting and when I'm happy and we walk with our arms around each other all the time so dont feel bad.
Smilies
*hugs*
Sam

[Comic Book Guy]

CBG, don't you live in another country? Here in the USA, teens excessviely use the word gay.

I suppose culture has a lot to do with it, but in your previous post you 'Generalised' all teenagers, you never said anything about the country a person lives in.

That and fag, and other inoppriopriate names and situations.

In my Area, 'fag' is a word for a cigarette, is it the same in the US?

Maybe teens cursing is only true in the usa, but i bet that popularity thing is universal.

Well, Teenagers cursing happens in my area, as much as any area I guess. The popularity thing isn't extreme in my area, according to my own experience, but it's there.

[HOBBIT]

No, fag is not a word for a cigarette. It does however (not spelled same way i think but pronounced the same) mean wood for fires or something. Like faggets on a fire place or something. But that is obviously not what teens mean it to be. I'm not exactly sure what the term 'fag' is supposed to mean. Another term for gay perhaps? Beats me.

[HOBBIT]

adn I cna mispel al the worsds that I wanna . :P Generalised!

[Khadrane]

In my Area, 'fag' is a word for a cigarette, is it the same in the US?

"Fag" does mean gay. (Where I live anyway.) And hugging someone in a friendly way is NOT gay!

[Comic Book Guy]

I forgot to mention, over here, 'Fag' is used by Teenagers a lot. You know what I mean.

[TinuvielChild]

yeah, a lot of people here use "gay" all the time. 2 of my best friends are gay and one is bi, do you think i care???? ask me if i care. ("do you care?") NO!!!! the whole popularity thing, frankly, the popular people at my school scare me. not like i'm afraid of them, but they just scare me. i look at them and think "if you go by their example, then being 'popular' must be equal to being stupid. if that's popular, i want no part of it!!"

[TinuvielChild]

Originally posted by HOBBIT
and other curse words and words they have no clue what they mean.

when i curse, i know what the words mean. i can even tell you where the word f*ck comes from!

and over here, the word "fag" or "faggot" means a gay male. gay females are usually called "dikes". i have no clue why, but i don't use that word. like i said, i have no problem whatsoever with homosexuality. people are entitled to their own views.

and Frodo and Sam are NOT gay!!!!

[FrodoFriend]

I think a lot of teens use the word "gay" as an insult without really thinking about it. I even catch myself doing it sometimes, and always mentally kick myself immediately. Around where I live, though, we do have some gay couples - well, lesbian actually. Everbody seems okay with it. They get made fun of but not persecuted. On the other hand, for some reason some people thing being gay is worse than being lesbian. So I don't know how the teens around here would react to that. Personally I think people can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.

[jerseydevil]

I think HOBBIT is correct. But gay has become more a slang word for not "cool" than meaning "sexually" gay though, except when it comes to guys using it to put down other guys. I think guys get it worse than girls. It's far more acceptable for girls to show affection toward each other than guys.

I say - if your friend doesn't want to hug - then don't hug her. But don't let it stop you from showing affection to others. Maybe if we had more people being able to show affection to one another - we'd have less violence around. In some ways - violence is more acceptable than showing affection for people it seems like.

Also - most people that are popular in high school, aren't really the greatest later in life. So don't worry - just hang in there.

[mirrille]

Yah
If your friend doesn't want to hug, don't take it personally. It's no big deal. Remember that some cultures have different views about close bodily contact. Some are also more open with affection than others. Try not to judge someone on that. They may just have been raised with different standards of conduct. Maybe she just has her boundaries and we should respect that. There has to be a way you can demonstrate affection without being physical.
That being said, some people just dont think before they say stuff. Using the word "gay" or "fag" as slang for something negative is immature, hurtful, rude, disrespectful towards gay people, and therefore just plain stupid.

[Renille]

Edit- Ha...I'm sorry, I didn't want to post...okay...I'm stupid.

[Rána Eressëa]

Hroom . . . in the South where I live right now the "gay" term is used a lot. But when it comes to friends, everyone loves hugging - it's a common thing. People down here are better known for showing their emotions with actions rather than words, and I've taken up the habit of using both. I've never heard anyone call hugging "gay" though, but honestly: how could it be? Then again, like mirrille said, she was probably raised differently, and you should in some way respect that. If she's just being judgemental herself, though, confront her about that. You can't get anywhere with confrontation first, so just talk to her about. I'm sure things'll work out somehow if you do.