Tolkien Lovers Anonymous

[galadriel88]

The door is opened gently and a beautiful elf wearing a long, flowing gown of white and a silver crown in her long blonde hair enters the room.

Galdriel: Is there trouble here? I have sensed that there would be for many days, and have journeyed long to find this place.

Renille: It seems this human has no knowledge of our history, and thinks us quite strange. We fear her condition is beyond our ability of aid. Can you help us?

Counselor: And may I ask who you are?

Galadriel: I am Galadriel, elf queen of Lorien.

Counselor: Aaargh! That is it! The last straw! I can't take it anymore!!! All these made up names and words are driving me nuts!!! (Tries to run out the door but is held back by Renille, FF, and Nariel)

Galadriel: It is a six day journey to Rivendell, and the road is hard, but Elrond is the only one who can help her, I fear. Let us ride!

All walk out the door, carrying the kicking and screaming counselor.

[markedel]

markedel (furrows his brow)
At Imladris we can steep said herb to clear the air. Or mayhaps we can obtain some galenas, or weed as the halfings call it. As Mirithandir is known to have said "you might find that smoke blown out clears the shadow of mind within"

Perhaps the counsellor wishes to try some of the weed. Tis said it is from numenor...perhaps it will bring back memory of times more fair and lands more green then whatever dark place she hails from, if the air of the last homely house does not do so itself.

[Renille]

Counselor-*screaming* Weed???I knew it! I knew it! You're all drug addicts! HELP! POLICE! DRUG CONTROL! LAB PEOPLE! COME HERE! PUT ME DOWN!

Markedel- Calm down, my lady, the weed can only help you...

Renille-Prehaps the strange woman prefers not to wreath her thoughts in smoke. I myself do not employ a pipe of any kind. But how to sedate her while going to Rivendell?

[Earniel]

The phone rings, as the others constrain the counsellor, Laurelyn picks up the phone and says in a singsong voice:
'Counsellor's office! Oh hallo.... you've found her where?...ah I see...certainly bring her upstairs... we can surely help her... She puts down the horn

Frodofriend: Who was it? Are the neighours complaining about the noice?

Laurelyn: No, they' re bringing Eärniel in, say she caused some trouble in a supermarket.

*a knock on the door, everyone move the counsellor out of sight. Markedel gags her. Laurelyn opens the door. Between two cops stands Eärniel. She recognizes Laurelyn and waves.*

Cop1: We found her making a scene at the supermarket, screaming about Lembas.. *he raises an eyebrow*

Earniel: Oh come on! Have you ever heard of a supermarket without Lembas? How am I supposed to reach Mirkwood without it?

Cop2: Then she started brandishing that sword, so we thought we'd better bring her here...

Eärniel: But I was just showing them my very own Sting... surely mister Rangers....

Cop1: Looks like she needs a good brainwash doc!

Laurelyn: Are you mad? She has all the necesairy brainswashing she needs! clearly the fault lies with the supermarket and...

*the cops stare at her*

Laurelyn: Off course we'll take care of her... She'll be better in no time!

*Laurelyn pulls Eärniel in and closes the door quickly. Eärniel smiles*

Eärniel: So nice of those Rangers to drop me of here...Hello everybody, what's wrong with her? pointing to the counsellor who's face is becoming red

Renille: She needs some Athelas, possibly some pipe weed.

Rogue elf: Yeah, she said that Middle earth didn't exsist!

*everybody shudders*

Eärniel: (gasps) But that's horrible! We need to help the poor woman!

Evenstar: That's what we plan to do, we'll take her to Imladris.

Eärniel: Oh that's great, we're going to see the elves!

*silence*

Nariel (carefully) Aren't you supposed to be an elf?

Eärniel: Oh yeah , yeah forget my own head next. Must be lembas withdrawal effects... Stupid supermarket..

[Laurelyn]

Counselor: *suddenly calms down* All right, take me where you will, don't hurt me, please. And don't force me to smoke any pot, ok?
All: *surprised at change of attitude in the Counselor's part*
Nibs: Well, is this not a surprise! She's agreeing with us, partly at least, without creating a scene!
Morauko: Are we sure she's not just trying to get our guard down so she can escape?
Counselor:*gives Morauko death glare* (under her breath: D*mn! Why do they have to be so smart!)
Rogue Elf: Or she's just figured out that the journey to Imladris will be much easier on her if she cooperates. I, for one, know that it would be quite unpleasant to be dragged along kicking and screaming.
Counselor: Dragged along???!!! *looks upset*
Nariel: Now, now, my Lady, calm down. We won't drag you along if you cooperate, that's the point. And "drag" was merely a way of saying bring you along unwillingly.
Counselor: But it's still bringing me along unwillingly as it is! I don't want to go to this . . . River-dale place! You're all a bunch of looneys!!
Vanimdil: Looneys? I'd say not, thank you very much. You're the . . . "looney" . . . one.
Sam and FrodoFriend, in unison: It's Rivendell, not "river-dale!"
Renille: Or, if you like, it's also called Imladris.
Counselor: Anything I say can be used against me . . . I have a right to remain silent . . . *recieves very strange looks*
Laurelyn: She is clearly worsening. We had better leave as soon as possible for Rivendell; with all due hope she will not be too far gone by the time we arrive there.
Counselor: *starts crying* But we won't get there! It doesn't exist! Where are you really taking me?
Eärniel: We are taking you to Rivendell, and that is that. You will not be harmed.
Counselor: And I have what proof of that?
Markedel: As FrodoFriend said, and indeed she spoke truly, violence is against the King's law! We would not dare to harm you! What do you take us for, lawbreakers?
Galadriel: No, I think she is simply unaware of the law. She is insane, and knows not of our lands; of course she would not know of our laws.
Counselor: *shaken* What she said. *gestures to Galadriel* *thinks a moment* Wait . . . but your lands and your laws don't exist!
Sam: Law or no, I feel the urge to slap this woman . . .
Laurelyn: Aye, Sam, she is indeed beginning to bother me greatly, with her crazy words. But she is not in her right mind, so I must try to forgive the sacrilege she speaks . . .
Counselor: Please keep trying on that forgiving thing . . . One of you's got a bow, another's got a sword, and if I'm the only sane one here, then who knows what could happen!
Elf Girl: I don't believe even those words were true . . . for she is the one who is unstable. And also I think that more than only one of us bears a bow and sword, most likely. I for one will after this! I should want to be armed if I come against more evil!
Counselor: Evil? For all I know, it's Tolkien who is evil, for planting the seeds of insanity in your minds!
Laurelyn: Ok, NOW she's done it . . . anyone who insults Tolkien shall suffer tha consequences . . . *looks at Markedel* Please, can I kick her?
Markedel: Umm . . . she will be punished for those words, but let's not harm her now.
FrodoFriend: *sighs* We did, after all, promise not to hurt her, and if we stand a chance at all of helping her, we must maintain her trust.
Laurelyn: You do have a point . . . *gives Counselor death glare* How I wish looks could kill . . .

[Elf Girl]

Elf Girl: (to counselor)We will not harm you for your rash words now, but be warned, you will be punished justly in due time. (to others) does anyone have a horse? I came on foot.

markedel: I rode in.

Laurelyn: good. she can ride on that and we can double up on the other horses.

counselor: I can't ride! where are you taking me?

renille: we've told you a hundred times! Rivendell! please rimember this time.

sam: she'll have to ride double with someone. Now, who knows the way?

Rogue Elf and Elf Girl: (in unison) I do!

Renille: good! I trust the elves can make it on foot?

galadriel88: certainly we can. (all troop out door, carrying the counselor, kicking and screaming)

[Irid al'Menie]

As the group goes out the door, an elf woman comes along. Next to her 2 grey wolves are walking. She is clad in elvengrey.

"Elen silla lumenn omentielvo, mellyn. What seems to be the problem here? I had heard of Watcher here *taps on one of the wolves head* that there was a meeting. I am called Irid al'Menie, in common tongue Irid of the Wolves. I have travelled several days to make it to this forsaken place."

The councelor, who saw the elf join the group, grasps for air, and points at the wolves.
"Those... Those... beasts... Take them away! You savage! This is a normal land, take them away!!!"
Irid looks at the screaming woman. "Excuse me, lady. I don't scream if you drive those cars without horses, so can I please walk with my friends?"

The counsellor stares at her in disbelieve. "Your friends??? Those beasts? *to herself* lunetics... All lunetics... Where is my cellphone, that I call the hospital..."

[markedel]

markedel: Come now friends, we shall bind the poor women and put her on one of our horses. Mine rides true and straight and can hold two. Let us ride soon so the poor lady may be well.
(counsellor looks around frantically) Bind me!

galadriel88: Fear not this rope is made of hithlain and is soft to the touch you shall not be troubled

(markedel who's large and strong because of his numnorian blood and galadriel tie up the counsellor)

counsellor: mmmph

markedel: To imladris we shall go!

[galadriel88]

Eventually, the counselor gives up her straining. All are talking animatedly about all things Tolkien whens somehow the counselor manages to reach the cellphone in her pocket. Galadriel suddenly notices this.

Galadriel: Get that away from her! It could be some sort of weapon and with her in the state she's in, that could be very dangerous!

Cunselor: Mmmph! Mmmph!

Renille, who is the closest to the counselor, grabs the cellphone out of the counselor's hands. All crowd around him to inspect this "thing".

Earniel: What is it?

Sam: It seems to have some numbers on it, and lots of buttons.

Galadriel: It seems harmless enough, but to be safe I think we should leave it here, so that there is no chance of its being used by her. *Tosses it into the bushes by the side of the road*

[samwise of the shire]

Sam walks by the horse watching the counsellor who is tied FRIMLY to the hourse. Sam give Frodo Friedn the riegns and trots up to Markedel.
Sam:Mr Markedel sir. That there lady is turning roving. And she needs releif from the heat. Can we stop and rest?
Markedel:I suppose so young hobbit. STOP HALT and REST. What food do we have?
Elf Girl:I have Lembas.*holds up a pack of high protien energy bars*
Counsellor:*raises head*LEMBAS! those are PROTIEN ENERGY BARS!
Nibs:I have*rifles through his pack*some mushrooms*holds up a sack filled with mushrooms*fresh from the Shire.
Counsellor:Mushrooms?! Now I KNOW you're druggies.
Sam:Mushrooms?! Can I have one or two maybe three? Or what about the whole bag?PLEASE?!*reaches for bag*
Nibs:NOOOO! *slaps Sams hand*
Morauko: I have bread.
The other sift through thier packs. Most of their packs contain weapons for the journey, some have clothing. One pack contains wine from the Barrels of Mirkwood.
Time's up
Sam

[Renille]

( Before I post...galadriel88, I'm a her, not a him... )

Renille-*pulls out a cloak from her pack to give the counselor* Here, it will keep you warmer on the journey.

Counselor-
NO!! It's chloroformed, you want to kill me! You're crazy, insane, all of you! *breaks down crying*

Sam: Kill you? Lady, we are not planning to kill you. And we aren't exactly insane.

Markedel: *under his breath.* Which is more than I can say for you.

Counselor: *closes her eyes and tries to click her heels together through the rope* Okay, logic...this is a fairy tale, so I have to behave like I'm in a fairy tale. I must think Dorothy...there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

[Tanoliel]

Tanoliel had gone to the TLA meeting place, but finding everyone gone, she followed the trail of hooves and feet, until she was distracted by something making a loud ringing noise in the bushes. She knelt and rummaged around until she came up with a strange small object. "It's...it's....oh, what is it, I knew the name once...cell phone! THAT'S it!" She pushed a button and held it up to her ear. ~I know how these things work,~ she though smugly. "Hallo?"
"Hello, is this Miriam?" (ooc: hope no one mind I make up a name for the cousellor!)
"Uh...nope, this is Tanoliel."
"Who?"
"Tanoliel Cotton, of the Shire. Who are you?"
"Um...I think I must've got the wrong number...sorry..." the phone cut off. Tano shrugged and put the phone in her pocket. She followed the trail until she met up with a large group with one woman tied to a horse. "Hallo!" Tano called. "Is this the TLA?"
"Yes," FrodoFriend replied.
"We're talking this woman to Imladris to heal her mind," Galadriel added.
"Great. Can I help? Oh, by the way," Tano said, walking up the cousellor, "is your name Miriam?"
At an affirmative and rather scared grunt from the woman, Tano grinned. "So it was yours. I think I'll keep it." She walked away from Miriam, ignoring the woman's demands to tell her what Tano had and what she wanted.

-tano

[Nariel Starfire]

Nariel, a bit ahead of the group, looks back and turns her head to keep from laughing. She keeps walking, looking out for any danger. Soon she comes out of the trees to a large river-shaped this, but the ground is hard. There is, instead of water, there are horseless carriages zooming to and fro on the hard black bed (they have reached a freeway).
Nariel: Halt, mellyn!

FF: What's up?

Nariel: We have reched a barrier. For many leagues we may walk west along it, but to reach Imladris, we must eventually cross this River of Rock. [looks around at the tired hobbits and humans]. I believe the weak ones need time to rest and we can decide what to do come morning.

[Irid al'Menie]

Irid nodded. She sat down next to the River of Rock. The two wolves lay down besides her. She rumbles through her pack, and takes out a mallorn leaf, with something in it.

"I forgot, I still have waybread. Anyone? We must give the lady some too, i think."

Everyone who wants it takes some, and still there is enough left. As some others feed (or try to feed) the woman, Irid stares at the cars. Then she turns to the woman.

"See, i don't go screaming about devilish machinery. If you ask me Saruman has invented this. But let me walk with my friends in peace..."

[Earniel]

After a second meal, such as even hobbits have rarely seen, the little fellowship gathers to decide on a new road.

Irid al'Menie How do we cross this River of Rock? My wolves fear it.

Tanoliel *playing absentmindedly with the mobile phone*They're not the only ones...I wish I was back in the Shire.

Renille It is indeed an evil thing. Who would place such a obstacle in our road?

Laurelyn Say, This wouldn't be the work of Saruman, would it?

Markedel I deem it possible but why?

Eärniel *stroking Irid's wolves*Maybe he doesn't want us to heal the poor woman.

Evenstar She must be really important then!

*They all stare thoughtfull at the counsellor. The counsellor who hadn't followed the conversation finds this new attention scary and starts praying*

Nariel Maybe she's family of the king!

*They all let this sink in*

Samwise *jumps up* Then it is our task, nay our DUTY, to see she is healed from that strange enchantment of denial!

*the others rise too*

Tanoliel We must get to Rivendell then, but how?

*Elf Girl and Galadriel return form their scout mission*

Elf Girl Good new Mellyn! We have found a way to pass the infernal River!

*they cheer*

Galadriel However it will not be a easy task. We will have to pass through an eery and dark place...

*Elf Girl and Galadriel show the others an underground tunnel. Elf girl point out a board: It says: pedestrian walkway*

FrodoFriendWhat does that mean?

Eärniel Must be an ancient dwarven tongue....

[markedel]

markedel: I do not wish to enter such a dark way, it seems as black as that of Moria itself. But if the company deems it necessary, I shall go, and first if need be.

[Nariel Starfire]

Nariel: I fear no dark places and I will enter the tunnel. The language is indeed an old tongue, but not dwarven. It is a dialect of these Men which have now taken our Ea and now rule it. But I say we rest first and enter the darkness when the light of day is upon us.

[galadriel88]

OK, i can't think of anthing to add at the moment, but...

Renille - My apologies! I was just writing and not thinking, I guess...I'm really sorry!

[markedel]

Markedel: alas the fear tis making us act out of character-it is the madness this woman brings upon us! Let us go now, before it worsens.

[Tanoliel]

Tanoliel, still fiddling with the phone (ooc: soon she's going to simply call some random number, i think ), slowly stepped into the underpass. She glanced around cautiously, then relaxed. "It's not so bad," she said, then jumped as her voice echoed around loudly. "Okay..." she whispered. "maybe it is...."

-tano
p.s. (ooc): in most other RPG's i've done, we don't play other people's characters, which is why I haven't been. I personally don't care if I get played a bit, it makes the storyline move faster...but is there anyone who does? Just so I don't do stuff without asking, etc...