Long Lost Leaves - part II

[Amael]

"In a way .... yes. I'm not ... sure of them", A'mael said. "Yes, a man rose to the throne of the Reunited Kingdom, yet he shares blood with Elves and Maia. I feel for them all, I can associate with them, yet they are ... unpredictable at times. So similar to the Dwarves they are, not that I have anything against them." A'mael swiftly corrected her prejudice against Dwarves. Though she never hated them, she was more uneasy with Dwarves than with others. She didn't appreciate the harvesting of the forests in such great numbers. "And as a matter of fact, I was planning to speak with Radagast for I feel there's far more than the Men of Rhun to be concerned with. I've been far out into the east before, yet not this far. However, your evaluation of these lands will do for me, and talking to Radagast of it is unnecessary. Everything has gone mostly without incident so far, except for snakes, spiders, cave incidents, and such, which can all be expected from such a journey. I am simply ... nervous around people, to be honest, and excused myself because of it. My apologies, no personal harm intended. It's a highly ... internal matter. And I can be rather anti-social, something I have been trying to change that at least if a little.

"The night here is quite lovely. I'm actually getting accustomed to this place. I don't know what it is, but something calls me further into these lands. To be honest, it is more welcoming than Gondor. It seems more at peace, not ravaged by the recent conflicts. Not only that, but we get closer all the time to ... to lands we can't even really return to, lands that were gone since long before I was born."

A'mael looked down, thinking on lands she had never seen yet wanted to see, but never could, at least she thought.

[Aikanáro]

Tabrîl blinked. Much of what A'mael had said to her she did not understand, talk of mortals with elven blood, and kingdoms reunited. These things she dismissed as irrelevant, listening instead to the concerns that she might actually be able to address.

A'mael was young, she reasoned, and had not travelled frequently, if at all, before this journey. She spoke gently. 'There is no need for apology. You have said nothing to offend, although it is only right that I tell you that I cannot say to you what the seth'enati Radagast might. You must not trust my word over his, for he is wise.'

She paused for a moment, thinking of the lands that lay ahead of them, the ancient eastern paths. A'mael was right to say they could never truly be returned to. Kuiviénen was gone, Kordâla likely as not lay in ruins, long-abandoned - but how should this young elf know it? She was not Kindi. It was not the same for her.

'I do not know how far we must travel,' she said at last, slowly, 'and it would be a mistake to believe that there is nothing here but peace. Peace has never been held long in the eastern lands, and never without a high and exacting price. But you will be safe,' she added, 'be sure of that.' Her gaze flickered to the slight swell of A'mael's stomach. She should not be travelling at all, in such condition. That, however, Tabrîl could not alter, and so she would see to the other elf's protection, as much as she could.

'And you must not be nervous,' she continued. 'None here will do you harm, and there must be a reason that you are here, that you wish to go with them?'

[feawen]

Nami slowly walked among the tents, watching the happy faces, smiling children with sticky food covered faces.
She did not wish to go back to the others just yet, for the time being she wanted to be alone. Wondering away from the crowds and noise she found a shadied area. Sitting under the trees capoay, she watched the green sun dappled light play across the grass and her arms before closing her eyes and leaning back against a tree, as she listened to the now faint sounds of music and laughter. Not since their time on the river had she been this alone. A now familar sense of sadness came over her, although less painful than before. She let the feeling in for a few moments and then pushed it to one side. With eyes still closed and absently drawing in the loose dirt with her finger, she hummed to her self.

[Amael]

As A'mael noticed Nami wandering amongst the tents in the camp, she realized that Tabril had noticed her being slightly 'more' pregnant than before.

"Oh, yes", A'mael responded to Tabril. There is no need for concern, I mean about the children. The lady Galadriel and her people taught me well, how to maintain control even during times of pain."

A'mael knew that she would likely be debilitated when the big day came, but she somehow either hoped that it would not be a problem, or just had a feeling about it. She wasn't sure which. Her best suit wasn't foresight when it came to very uncertain situations such as this journey. And she was only a youngling, just over 700 years old. Her senses weren't fully attuned yet.

"Although I will be somewhat less than assigned to any task when the day comes, I will manage. I've lived east of the Iron Hills with Ingwionis for years, hearing of the far east and what was out here, including the land we'd all be at least curious to set eyes upon. Yet although it is legend that there may be no land of origin to find out here, and even if so and it is distant, there is much out here to explore. It's worth being out here, whatever risk there is. And I would not bother Radagast with questions of what is ahead since there is at least for now no clear and present danger. He has much to think on, this I'm certain. Be well. Enjoy your time on this evening. Hopefully next we speak, Ingwionis will not be meditating as usual, so that he could join us."

A'mael looked into the sky as she often did; she was a star-watcher, and wrote with a quill and parchment at least once every week notes on the motions of the planets and stars, and made drawings of their positions. Over the years, patterns had emerged while other patterns were somehow less-certain. The brightest dots, the planets, moved strangely. One world would lag behind another for what seemed like no reason, and then would eventually return on its normal course. The dimmer dots, the unknown to her more distant stars, seemed to keep their positions relative to each other without deviation, other than their declination and right ascension. To her these words were known in Elven words, translated into the common tongue as "vertical" and "horizontal" positions.

A'mael began to watch the stars more closely and started to walk toward Ingwionis who still was in some sort of deep thought.

[Aikanáro]

Tabrîl nodded as A'mael took her leave. Her words had been sensible, and Tabrîl could not fault her desire to explore the distant lands. It was an understandable outlook, moreso than the motivations of most in their company, and A'mael seemed well aware of the effect her pregnancy was likely to have on her in the months to come.

She spoke of it almost as a warrior would have, and Tabrîl hoped her reassurances and offers of protection had not been received as a slight by the young elf. It was so difficult for Tabrîl to judge them, to understand the way they thought of themselves.

Sometimes she thought it was wrong for her to try.

It still troubled her to be without guidance, to have so many decisions left to her, and none to tell her what was right and what was wrong. At home she knew it, instinctively, but there was nothing in the law she knew by heart that mentioned situations as strange as this. It was unsurprising that she felt lost, sometimes.

She watched A'mael walk away, and then sat back down, alone, and looking up at the stars, she dreamed again of the past and the simpler life that she had been forced to leave. The life of a good m'had'i that protected her people and obeyed her in'kasha and never had to contemplate anything so foreign and complex as she did now.

And what was she now?

[Varnafindë]

Barufiniel agreed to when she would meet with Branwyn the next day, and then left him to do his own preparations for his performance.

On her way back to her tent, she noticed that Tabril had walked a little away from Abasi and was talking to Amael. Then Amael left her, and Tabril sat down by herself.

A bit hesitantly, Barufiniel went over to Tabril.

"May I sit with you again for a little while?" she asked. "I would like to apologize for that song. I had meant to stop before I got to that section. I didn't want to sing to you about those topics that are Secret Knowledge to you. If you like, I could tell you the rest of the story instead - what happened to Beren and Finrod after Finrod had finished with the Mysteries."

[Aikanáro]

Tabrîl glanced up at Barufiniel warily. This elf was another that confused her, and while Tabrîl enjoyed hearing the tales of her people, outlandish as they were, she was not quite sure that it was proper for her to do so. Not if songs like that last were any indication.

'You may sit,' she said at last, 'but do not tell me of your Mysteries. It is a knowledge that is not only secret, it is forbidden. You must not make me hear what is forbidden.' There was an anxious note in her voice - only slight, but at odds with the self-assurance Tabrîl tended to project towards the others. It was as if she feared Barufiniel was intending to do precisely that.

When she spoke again, however, it was with her old confidence. 'Your Finrod kept his word and honored his debt,' she said, 'to go with this Beren, and that is something.'

[Varnafindë]

Tabril hadn't said anything about accepting Barufiniel's apology, but allowing her to sit with her again was enough, so Baru sat down.

"I promise that I'll be even more careful not to mention any Mysteries, then," she said, "I wouldn't want to make you do anything that's forbidden. Not that we've got a lot of them in our tales anyway - Finrod, brother of Galadriel, was special.
And he didn't only go with Beren. In the end he saved his life. Sauron cast them - with their ten companions - into his dungeon and questioned them, but none of them would reveal who they were or what their errand was. So over the next days Sauron sent one of his ... servants ... to kill them, one after another, until only Beren and Finrod were left."

Perhaps I'd better not mention that this servant was a werewolf, Barufiniel thought. Just in case that was another Mystery - even more than the Orcs.

"When Sauron's servant came next," she continued, "Finrod fought him and killed him, and died himself in the fight. But Beren survived, and thus he was still alive when the lady he loved came with help and rescued him."

[Aikanáro]

Barufiniel's words did not leave Tabrîl entirely convinced. In her experience, the tales of the Noldor were full of Mysteries, each less comprehensible than the last. Yet she had promised not to mention them, and so Tabrîl listened.

When she heard of Finrod's fate, she nodded gravely. 'He died well,' she said, 'and honorably, and it is good that you remember him and honor him with your songs. It means that he is here still, even though many years have gone by since he passed to the Dark. You should be proud, to have such a kinsman.'

It was what any warrior of the Kindi would have done, she thought, if they had been unfortunate enough to find themself bound by such a blood-debt in the first place, something they would go to great lengths to avoid. She did not think, however, that most of the Noldor would have done similarly. This Finrod was clearly exceptional.

[Varnafindë]

"I am rather proud of him," Barufiniel said warmly, and it's possible that her pride showed in her voice also.
"He was brave and loyal - and he was a good and wise ruler of Nargothrond, where he was King. His brothers, Angrod and Aegnor, ruled Dorthonion as Lords under him.
Angrod's daughter, Arindis, was my grandmother. She was very brave, too - but then perhaps every mother is, when her child is in danger ..."

She thought back at what her father had told her - the memory that had haunted him ever after, as a nightmare whenever he had to touch a blade.

"My father was only ten years old when Gondolin fell to the enemy's armies," she said. "The King's daughter, Idril, had feared such an attack for some time, and she had prepared a secret passage out of the city, in case it should be necessary to rescue people that way.
Arindis was running to the passage with Rameldir, her little boy - her husband was away with King Turgon's Guard, and was killed defending his King - when they were overtaken by an Orc. Arindis urged Rameldir to run to the passage, where Tuor, Idril's husband, would pick him up and carry him to safety - while she turned to face the Orc and attack him.
She didn't stand a chance - she only had a dagger. But she delayed the Orc enough to buy her son those few seconds he needed to be safe. It is perhaps the thing any mother would do - but I'm very proud of her nevertheless."

Barufiniel swallowed.

"My father looked back and saw the Orc cutting her down. It was never put into a song - but he has never forgotten it."

[Aikanáro]

'She was brave, your father's mother,' Tabrîl echoed softly. 'One does not have to be a warrior to show bravery. The cruelty of the Orcs is such that they make no distinction. And a mother's sacrifice...' Tabrîl trailed off, clearly moved by this tale of long ago. 'It should be remembered, Barufiniel. You should write a song of it.'

Tabrîl sat silent for a moment, deep in thought, and then she looked over at Barufiniel again. 'It was always thus, in those times,' she said slowly. 'No matter how protected a place was, how hidden, they would find it, and they would not rest until it was nothing but ashes and ruin.'

There was a darkness in her eyes as she spoke, that of memories that were nothing but long-forgotten history to most.

'We settled in the western lands after our long journey out from Kordâla, and the Hivaranna'i told us they kept safe the northern border, but they did not, not when it mattered. We did what we could to give them the time they needed to flee south, the seth'in and the ka'marein, but it was scarcely enough. My brother at that time held a little outpost by the river, and we were there when it was overrun.'

'Our m'haid'ati was slain, and it was my brother Keshai that stood in his place, and he who ordered the retreat. I did not understand it then, but now I know that he knew it to be hopeless, the whole of the land was taken by them. Even so, it was not a thing done lightly - but he had purpose, even then. He led us all south, at a terrible, exhausting pace even after the battle we had just fought - to catch up to the rest of our people, to guard them against what was coming from the north, and from the west.'

Tabrîl frowned, and looked away. 'Even then, we were too late for many of them,' she finished softly. Too few had been left to guard them on their journey south, and while Tabrîl and the others had been holding off the advancing Orcs from the river, others had found them, by other roads. It was a difficult recollection, and she did not know why she spoke it aloud, much less why she said it to this elf that she hardly knew. She did not explain the foreign words she had used, it was too much, to explain, a further cheapening of a tale told to an outsider.

Keshai had been hailed as a hero after it was over, for saving the life of their in'kasha, who had been found on one of the southern roads, but Tabrîl would not forget the look he had had in his eyes when he had told them to abandon the river crossing. Nor her own grief when she had learnt that her mother had been among the fallen, and her second brother, and her sister with her children - and not one of them had been a warrior. That meant that they ought to have been kept safe from harm.

It had been long ago, and the memory no longer brought the pain that it once had, yet it was still an unhappy one, and she gave Barufiniel a solemn look. 'I think perhaps those days were ones of hardship for all who saw them,' she said. There had been mortals on the southern roads too, and all manner of elves, not only the remnants of the Kindi.

[Earniel]

Radagast was pleased to see the two Avari (Kindi, he corrected himself) Elves interact more with the rest of the adventurers. At times he had feared the tensions their forced company created, would spell trouble for the quest. He still disapproved of the subterfuge the Forest had used to attach Tabrîl to his fellowship. The reason that it would be good that Tabrîl joined was not enough for Radagast. Good for whom? For locating the Ent-wives? For Tabrîl's people, or just for the Forest itself?

In the ages long past, Radagast may have been one of Yavanna's maiar, but he always had had more connection with the kelvar than the olvar. And when forests started to think for themselves, it usually was trouble waiting to happen, according to the wizard.

He decided to go and check on Haldis. He had specifically refused to react earlier when she had been doing her writing exercises, for he believed she was skilled enough by now to no longer need his encouragement or correction on it. But he hadn't seen her leave her tent after she had met with Tabrîl there. Haldis could take excellent care of her self, Radagast knew. But she was his student in a way, and he had after all invited her along.

He tapped on the canvas of Haldis' tent. "Haldis," he asked, "are you well?"

[Amael]

A'mael sorted through some of her notes on her night sky observations and Ingwionis began to help her, wondering what it was she was up to this time. She told him, "drawings of stars, mostly." Ingwionis nodded, showing some interest. "You know how I've been taking notes at night, looking up at the sky, you couldn't hhave missed that! I've tracked the procession of the dots of light in the sky, and not all of them are at all the same. Not only are they differing on color, but if you'll notice, the bright one right above that tree ... " A'mael pointed to an area right above the tree, at a very bright star. "That one if you may keenly observe, has bands in it. And notice Rána at night, same size as Anor. It has its own surface shapes. Not like Anor, it appears to be just a very bright hot object. It's another world! So I think is the same as with the bright star right above the tree, Alcarinque. And the Star of Earendil ... I don't think it's really all that much different from Rána (moon)." Ingwionis gave A'mael that look, as if she had spent too much time 'under the stars' to begin with. "You are brilliant as any one of those stars, A'mael, now sleep." Ingwionis actually fell asleep quite quickly after ordering A'mael to fall asleep, surprising because he never slept that often. So she just went to sleep, wondering what the next day would bring, if not more of the same.

[Varnafindë]

"Those days were indeed ones of hardship for all who saw them," Barufiniel agreed. "Even my father did only see the end of them - he was so young when it happened. And I - I feel I have lived such a sheltered life in comparison. And perhaps you are right - perhaps I should try to make a song about my grandmother. I'm no poet, I'm better at telling stories - but I could try."

She had tried her hand at making poetry as well, though. That's how she knew that she was no true bard. She could make funny songs, getting them to rhyme and to keep strictly to their rhythm - but a song to remember her grandmother by? But Tabril was right, she ought to be remembered - and there was no-one else to do it now.

"My other grandmother, my mother's mother, was of the Nandor," she said. "Her people began their journey with Olwë and the others, but one called Lenwë changed his mind and led many to stay down by the great river Anduin instead of going on. They were harassed by the Orcs as well, but they always chose new dwellings along the river, in the land they called Lorinand, which is now Lothlorien. Later Galadriel came there, and she and her warriors kept the Orcs away.
My grandmother was called Ealcalinda. She was a great singer - I inherited my musical skills from her. I never met her, though. Her husband was killed in a battle many years ago, and when she lost him, she died of grief."

[Aikanáro]

Dying from grief was an Eldarin weakness, Tabrîl thought to herself. It was not an honorable reason to die, and she could not imagine herself being so attached to another person that she would be unwilling to live on after their passing. She did not think it had ever happened among the Kindi, not in the way the Noldor told it. It was not that they did not grieve deeply for their loved ones, only that to follow the loss of one with that of another seemed senseless. Wasteful.

She would not tell Barufiniel of this opinion. It was sure to offend.

Tabrîl was beginning to wonder why the other elf chose to tell her so much of her kin, and of their fates. Were she of another tribe, it would seem like the precursor to a naming chant, where they would recite the names of her ancestors, back to Kuiviénen-that-was, and commit their deeds to memory, and her line would be added to a host of others in the chants of Tabrîl's people.

Barufiniel, however, was Noldorin. Hivaran. It could not be that, and so Tabrîl looked at her uncertainly. 'I know that place,' she said, 'the lady Galadriel's lands, although I was not there before they were hers. It is a good river to live by, your mother's mother chose it well.'

'And you may be right,' she continued, 'to believe your life sheltered. Yet that is not a fault, Barufiniel, if it is true. It makes you fortunate, and it makes the struggles of those who lived before you meaningful, if you are able to live in safety until such time as you choose to do otherwise.'

And Barufiniel was hardly a child, Tabrîl thought, she had probably proven herself on numerous occasions, even if she had not the honors an elf of the Kindi would wear to indicate that fact. 'I do not know that an over-sheltered elf would have been sent on an expedition such as this,' she added, despite the fact that she was not certain it was entirely true, judging from the company they kept.

[Earniel]

To the surprise of many, Hedrim Valdaes too decided to perform before the Ultai audience. He spent some hours polishing his armour and the gear of his horse, so that when he rode unto the stage area, he possitively gleamed and sparkled.

The Ultai watched his entrance with amusement. To them he looked every bit the part of an actor playing a foreign warrior.

Hedrim descended from his horse, bowed to the audience and proclaimed in a loud voice his name and titles. This 'King of the North' intrigued that Ultai. They didn't believe him for a second to be the real thing, but the Ultai considered themselves to share kinship with the Northmen, although they had little contact with them as they seldom crossed the Carnen-river.

Hedrim then launched into a long, embellished tale of his exploits, of glorious battles which were of course never lost by the Northmen, or only lost to be magnificently revenged afterwards. He turned out to be a surprisingly good storyteller, if one enjoyed such battle-bespeckled tales.

Ultai seemed to enjoy Hedrim's tales for he received an earnest applause. The Khagan specifically seemed to be pleased with the performance. He invited Hedrim in his private tent afterwards, which was considered a gesture of great esteem among the Ultai. Hedrim promptly accepted and it was rather late in the evening before he turned to his companions, in excellent spirits.

[feawen]

Nami opened her eyes and standing wondered back to the camp. everyone seemed involved within their own conversations so she went towards were her equipment was. It seemed a good time to check that all her equipment, clothes, arrows, knifte etc were in good working order. Anyway it kept her busy. She ran her finger over her bow, a kind of loveing, lost look came into her eyes, a secret smile of a home and time left behind. She laughed to her self as she thought of who had given her this bow. A reminder of a wayward youth, and a rather short but interesting incounter. "You always were a sucker for the dashing kind!" she thought allowed.

[Varnafindë]

"I see," Barufiniel nodded, "if I have been sheltered, it means that those who tried to shelter me, succeeded in doing so. For as long as I needed a shelter, anyway."

She thought about her past. Not everything had been merely easy going, although it couldn't compare to the troubles of the First Age. The weeks after the departure of the Nine Walkers, before the destruction of the Ring, had been a time of anxiety and preparations for the worst. Still, she guessed that Gandalf's choosing her for this quest was more based on their first encounter.

"And I suppose Gandalf chose me for this expedition because he had met me on some kind of quest earlier," she said. "When my parents went for the West, I was left on my own in Rohan and had to try to find my way to my kinsmen in Imladris. I met others who were refugees from the war that was raging in Rohan then - a few of them had had their villages burnt down by Orcs - and with the help of a warrior of Rohan who had been cut off from his company, I led them north as far as to Tharbad, where most of them settled down."

She remembered with a certain amusement her first encounter with the Rider of Rohan. He had come upon her small camp in the early hours of the morning, and had challenged what he thought were Dunlending soldiers - only to find three frightened women. He was rather embarrassed by his mistake - even his horse had seemed to chuckle over his plight ...

"Then Gandalf came to Tharbad to seek help for the Shire, where there was a famine because of the early winter," she continued. "Those of us who still wanted to go north, joined him and helped him carry food - more horses were a great help - and distribute it to those in need. It was a difficult journey in the deep snow - exceptional amounts that year - so I believe he would trust my stamina. He often visited Imladris, and we became good friends. This is a different kind of expedition, of course, but I guess you're right that he can't have seen me as over-sheltered."

[Aikanáro]

Not for the first time, Tabrîl wondered about this Gandalf. She had thought him to be some sort of king, from the way the others spoke of his deeds, but his influence seemed quite widespread, and they often mentioned him casually and not with the respect due a ruler. It did not matter, she supposed. If he was not mentioned in the lore of her people, he could not be all that important.

Barufiniel, it seemed, had a penchant for strange quests. It seemed odd to Tabrîl that her parents - and presumably the rest of her people - had left her behind when they journeyed westward, during a time of war. Perhaps ties of kinship were less important to them? Tabrîl did not know, and she did not think it right to pry into what was probably a personal matter. If it had been some form of banishment that she suffered, she doubted Barufiniel would wish to speak of it.

'It surprises me,' she commented instead, 'that you would have made such a northern journey, for a people not your own.' Even in the milder region of southern Greenwood, it was sometimes difficult to gather enough food for everyone if the winter proved particularly harsh. Most of the Kindi, moreover, were desert-born, either out of Kordâla, like Tabrîl herself, or from Korindet-Safri, the southern region they had settled in early in the Second Age. Heavy snow was not something they had encountered often, and it was difficult to imagine anyone taking the northern routes in winter unless it was absolutely necessary.

She no longer believed Barufiniel quite so sheltered as she had before, although she would question the wisdom of undertaking so many quests, for such disparate groups of people. Yet she could hardly expect Kindi sensibilities from Barufiniel - she had agreed to this ill-advised quest, had she not? Tabrîl did not see that locating the Ent-wives was of benefit to anyone save the Ents themselves, and while she could see the appeal in exploring new lands, that alone could not be quite enough to volunteer for such an expedition.

Tabrîl glanced over at the others. There was Nami, checking over her weapons - she had sense enough to do that, at least, Tabrîl noted - and Hedrim, his armour gleaming under the starlight. She could not help but feel a little contemptuous towards him, a man who did not seem to understand that luxury bred weakness, and boasted more than he ought to. She did not trust any of them, and once more she felt thankful for Abasi's presence. Meeting him had been the one good thing to come of all this.

'Indeed, you appear to have accomplished much for your years. I should say that qualifies you more than most to be here, although I still cannot understand why you would want to be.' She looked back to Barufiniel, a glint of something close to amusement in her eyes, although her words appeared to be spoken in all seriousness.

[Earniel]

We've reached the 1000 post limit, we will continue here.