Return of TLA

[Willow Oran]

And so began the battle that would be forever after known as the battle of Five- I mean four, or was that three? Oh well, the battle of multiple armies.
As the armies advanced on eachother a sudden change came over the battle field. Suddenly there were no armies, just thirteen indistinguishable good guys against six goblins riding on their evil neopets. They ran at eachother in slow motion, fighting valiently with oddly choreographed swings.
But despite their inferior numbers it seemed as though the goblins would win when suddenly there came a cry, "The penguins are coming! The penguins are coming!"
And with that cry hope was restored to the troops of the good and they fought back and defeated the nasty goblins and their minions. And all rejoiced.

Gandgirl: Rejoice! We have defeated the foul neopets and their riders!

Willow: True, but alas! I fear we have lost many of our number. Aragren, Violet, and Morauko are sorely wounded and I can't find Claenoilbo anywhere.

Gandgirl: I last heard Claenoilbo's voice over on that hill, Tano, go look for her. Willow, come with me and help me tend to the others.

Tano: I'll find her, she's probably still invisable.

Willow: Aren't those three supposed do die?

Gandgirl: No.

Willow: Yes, I think they are.

Gandgirl: Well, they won't. You still have Vilya?

Willow: Yep. Oh... right, the rings, right, so they won't die. But we can't heal Aragren yet, she has to meet with claenoic and have her big dramatic forgivness speech.

Gandgirl: Whatever.

[Tanoliel]

ooc: Voosh....that was short.
ic:

Tano: Claenoilbo! Claenoilbo! Claenoilbo!
Claenoilbo: Whaaaat?
Tano: Where are you?
Claenoilbo: Right here. *pulls off ring* In front of you.
Tano: Oh. Are you okay?
Claenoilbo: Er...
Tano: Great. Come on, we have to get back...you have to talk to Aragren.
Claenoilbo: I do?
Tano: Yes. She'll forgive you.
Claenoilbo: Really? Why?
Tano: Because the script says so.
Claenoilbo: Oh....

[Renille]

After arriving at the mountain, Claenoilbo quickly made her way to Aragren's bedside. Just in time, too. The newly made "queen under the mountain" was dying. We think.

Claenoilbo- What happened??? Are you okay? Oh my gosh...what's wrong?

Aragren- Didn't they tell you? I'm battlewounded. Those silly goblin thingies. But WAIT...you brought this all on me and I'm not supposed to be talking to you...remember?

Claenoilbo- I'm really really really sorry, and don't die because then all that poor chocolate will remain unguarded and... *sniff*alone.

Aragren- Chocolate can't feel.

Claenoilbo- Good point. But don't die. Please?

* OOC- I am now resisting this potent urge to burst out into one of the death songs from Les Miserables...wow. I have to listen to another CD! Anyway...*
Aragren- I think I'm ignoring the fact that I have to die. But just in case...I just want to let you know... *cue soap opera music* I forgive you for everything. Take your 1/somethingth of chocolate, go back to Texas, and live in peace. Texas is a strange place. Maybe if the world loved book reports and chocolate icecream instead of wars and cellphones, it would be a better place. But whatever the world is, I must leave it now.

*She dies...? Or not...all of a sudden, Willow and Gandgirl (holding their rings) step from their hiding places and heal Renille. And yes, that did rhyme! Imagine the music from the end of Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." Okay...now Aragren is being lifted out of bed by a "magical" force, spun around three times, and set back down with an unholy thud. Stop imagining the music now.*

Aragren- I'm all better! Can I have the Arkenegg...Please?

Claenoilbo- I think you should save it for after supper.

Aragren- Ahem...egg...mine...NOW!

Claenoilbo- Okay, okay...here. Happy?

*Ooops....Aragren can't answer...she fainted...*

[Nazgûl Queen]

Morauko: Well, if she's asleep...

Earniel: I guess it couldn't do any harm...

Claenoilbo: If we just STARTED the Arkenegg!!!

*those three look at each other, then shrug and grab the Arkenegg, starting to pull pieces of chocolate off. But no matter how much chocolate they take, the egg never diminishes.*

Aragren: *wakes up* ARE YOU TOUCHING MY ARKENEGG?!

Morauko: *hides it behind her back* Of course not...

Earniel: Would we do that?

Aragren: *looks suspicious*

Claenoilbo: *sneaks around behind her aqnd hits her on the head with a fire extinguisher taken from the wall, knocking her out cold.*

Claenoilbo: Hey, this actually makes quite a good weapon!!!

Morauko: Now, we need to figure out how to open this blasted thing.

*they whack it against tables, the floor, even stand on it, but to no avail, but it just won't budge.*

Tano: Ummmm, guys?

Morauko: Can't you see we're busy here?!

Tano: Why don't you just use the hinge?

All three: Oh.

*Morauko lifts the lid of the egg, and a book floats out of the inside and is suspended in the air, from which light covers the room. Everyone in the room immediately bows down and worships the magic book, while Gandgirl reaches over and picks it up and starts to read to the awe-filled company*

Gandgirl: The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien. Concerning hobbits...

[Tanoliel]

ooc: Unless anyone's desparate to add more, that's a pretty nice ending...
Or we could do an...
EPILOGUE


(wheeeee! )


tano

[Elf Girl]

OOC: I think it's good. Who hasn't read the Sil? When can we start?

[Earniel]

OOC: Not so fast you little weasels! Claenoilbo needs to get home first too, remember? And find out that her family has given her up for dead and her sister is secretly selling all of Hannah's stuffed toys. And shouldn't we make a little epilogue after that that concludes our narrative on the pick-nick with Myriam about how we became Tolkien-obsessed?

*With the discovery of the Book within the Arkenegg, a new aera dawns on the Lonely Mountain Factory. New TLA-members flock from all over the world to the reopened chocolate factory and Renille reclaims her seat as Queen under the Mountain. After days of feasting and partying the TLA say goodbye to Hannah who will now be known to all TLA'rs by the title of Claenoilbo (nobody really knows just why but it sounded pretty and that was the end of it).*

Tano: Bye bye, Claenoic!

Willow: Visit us from time to time, we'll keep the chocolate warm for you.

Renille: Safe travel!

Claenoic: Thank you all but I really should be going home by now. I don't know what they will say at home of my long absence.

Eärniel: Wait! *comes running* I almost forgot, give this to your lovely sister! *hands Claenoic a chocolate egg* Give it to her with my best regards. *grins evilly*

Claenoic: Ah, I will *sees Eärniel's evil grin* I guess. Um... what is it?

Eärniel: Oh chocolate mainly. Just something to remember me by. *grins*

Claenoic: Mainly, eh? Well, I suppose it'll be alright.... Goodbye everybody!

*With this Claenoic, the two wizards and pony burdened with Claenoic's share of the chocolate set out off to Texas.

OOC: I'll leave the actual homecoming to Claenoic.

[Finrod Felagund]

Finrollum's mindlessness went into recession and he returned to his siter, Galadriel, at the golden health spa of Middle-Earth, and went by the name of Finrod (for a while), until the TLA showed up wih the cell phone again on their way to mont Nokia.

The frog ended up becoming the new master of lake-town and king of Dale, because Bard fell out of the story. Therefore the spa and Dale/Lake-Town always had good trade relationships. The frog lived to a ripe age of 103.68 before dying and leaving all his money to the Red Cross of Dale.

[Claenoic]

OOC: Tano? I don't have a ring. I have a cell phone. NQ? The fire extinguisher is Garina's.... where ever she went O.o.

*Finally, Claenoilbo (as she's now called) pulls in with her 14 chests of chocolate and Skittles (it RETURNS!!) to the driveway of her house. There's a huge crowd of girls (and a few guys (shock) in front of the garage.*

Claenoilbo: What on... *runs over to where everyone is standing.*

*There's a sign on the basketball backboard that says," Sale of the Early Hannah Whyshoulditellyou's clothes, games, and other paraphernalia. Run by Ashleigh Whyshoulditellyou*

Claenoilbo: O.o... *Gulps. She's a heavy believer of sentimental value.* THAT'S MY STUUUUUUUUUUFFFF!!!! *Whips out Fang and blinds everyonoe with it's Urple shinyness.*

Random customer: ARRRGGH!! MY EYES! THE LIGHT!!! IT'S... BLLINDING!!!

Claenoilbo: Hehe. *Nicks everything that's hers that she can find and puts it all in her room.*

BS: *Runs upstairs* It's... YOU!!!

Claenoilbo: Duh. I never stay dead. Oh yes. Here. From a friend. *tosses the chocolate egg to BS*

BS: OOooh, thank you!! *Runs to her room and opens it. There's a terrifying scream, a sound like 42 people saying whop, and another sound like a deranged blender that comes from behind her door. BS stays in there for an hour, comes out, washes her face with plenty of soap and water, goes downstairs and has a light supper, and gets plenty of sleep.*

Claenoilbo: ... That... was... odd...

Epilogue:

In the end, Claenoilbo had to buy some of her stuff back. She never found her collection of Beanie Babies; she suspected that her neighbor Kelly never told about them. They were never on good terms anyway. It was hard convincing her town that she was in fact Hannah, and some never believed her. She, however, lived a life of happyness, chocolate, and the occasional sugar rush. Fang was kept in her room, until her parents worried about how sharp it was. From then on, Fang was kept in a box under her bed. The Cellphone was kept because, mainly, it didn't require a phone bill to use. Unfortunately, she lost it in one of her (forced *cough*) trips to a shrink called Miriam. From overuse before her cellphone got lost, she gained the power to teleport whenever she snapped her fingers. Quite useful when she left something at school.

*One year later...*

*Ding-dong*

Claenoilbo: I'll get it! *Opens the door, which is now suspiciously green.*

Zandalf, Earniel, and Gandgirl: Hello!

*So they sat around her electrical fire, talked about how now the river was flowing with Chocolate smoothies, and they had the best candy in the world.*

Claenoilbo: So... what was in that egg you told me to give Ashleigh? She wasn't the same ever since.

Earniel: *Whispers in Claenoilbo's ear*

Claenoilbo: ... Wow.... Wow... O.o

Zandalf: Everything is back to normal. Most of the goblins were flushed out of the mountains, and the few that are left are pretty much dead meat by now.

Gandgirl: And the Neopets were cleared out too. Life, the Universe, and Everything is all great.

Claenoilbo: Thank goodness! Skittle, anyone?

~End Story~

Claenoic: So, Miriam, how did you like it?

Miriam: ... Do I really have to go through all of this?

Gandgirl: *Nods*

Miriam: Is that it? *gets excited* Is it all over?

Tano: No, actually, we still need to get through the ancient ANCIENT history...

Miriam: Crud.

FIN!

[Renille]

CUTE! Yay! That was the most awesomest ending ever, Claenoilbo. Again...awesome job EVERYONE. I really enjoyed this...of course!! Now on to the Silly! When will we start?? And will it be on this thread? Or will we make a new one called "The Return of the Return of the TLA?"

[Christiana]

*Christiana settled down to a good life destroying orcs and annoying people on the Entmoot*

[Nazgûl Queen]

Or "TLA goes Silly!"

[Finrod Felagund]

Bravo everyone on a job well done.

[Claenoic]

Now, if everyone has said their share of praise, Earniel? Will you do the honors?

[Earniel]

I take you mean the padlock. In that case consider it done.

God, I love it when I get the last word!