The Official MSTing thread

[Nurvingiel]

MST is short for Mystery Science Theatre. It is the act of mocking something, text or dialogue, line by line. The name of this action comes from the television show which invented the concept, Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

If you have any questions about MSTing, or are currently MSTing a story, feel free to ask/comment/post here.

If this thread gets cluttered with multiple MSTs, people should start new threads for their MSTs, and leave this one as a general MSTing thread.

As I don't forsee that in the near future, hectorberlioz and I will start MSTing here.

• MST resources: (list will updated as needed)
• Lord of the MST - the greatest MSTing site ever
• Fanfiction.net - one source of material
• Nurvingiel's MSTs - my MSTing site
• The Official MST3000 Website
• The Protectors of Plot Continuum - From the genius of Jay and Acacia
• Agent Minerva - Elf Girl's sanctioned PPC site
• Mary Sue Generator

[Goldberry1]

Nurvingiel, I just wanted to say that I think this is a great idea.... I'll have to start MSTing some things right away! Oh, and I read your MST of "Never Again" on your site: very entertaining!

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel

• MST resources: (list will updated as needed)
• Lord of the MST - the greatest MSTing site ever

O, you go there too? Ever visit the PPC board? Or OFUM?

And if you don't know what I'm talking about, ignore me.

[Nurvingiel]

I absolutely love OFUM! (And it's brilliant sequel!) I have visited the PPC, and read some of their work. Miss Cam, Jay, and Acacia are geniuses.

I'm glad you enjoyed my MST. It was my first one, yea. The author of my second vict- story is finished, so I'll complete the mocking this weekend.

Hectorberlioz and I are doing an MST on a fanfic based off the LotR movies. That seems worse to me - like writing a fanfic about a fanfic.

Cheers, Nurv

[hectorberlioz]

hey nirv, I've been working on it.
good stuff.

[Elf Girl]

Originally posted by Nurvingiel
I absolutely love OFUM! (And it's brilliant sequel!) I have visited the PPC, and read some of their work. Miss Cam is a genius.

A genius who will kill you if you confuse its and it's.

Wanna read my PPC story? There's going to be another soon... I swear...

(I go on the PPC board as LuhtarÃ*an, by the way. And I'm enrolled in OFUM, though all I got was a brief mention in Merry and Pippin's giant slash orgy.)

[Nurvingiel]

I'm so impressed you go to OFUM Elf Girl! I read your PPC story, and it was hilarious!
Want to link to each other's sites? Us PPCers and MSTers have a lot in common.

[Elf Girl]

Sure! I've been trying to get around to making a links section for ages... Glad you liked my story!

[Nurvingiel]

I linked to your site:

Agent Minerva - An excellent (Miss Cam approved) PPC spin-off. Mary Sues should run for their lives, or stay at home.

I just assumed your site was Miss Cam approved. It is right? (Hafta ask.)

By the way, if anyone has any type of comment whatsoever on my website, please post it here. I'm a junkie for all comments. (Though I don't have any use for flames or mindless praise - no one does.)

[Elf Girl]

Actually, it was approved by Jay, before she retired.

[Nurvingiel]

Jay retired? Nooo... Are you Jay's replacement? Your first PPC story was side-splittingly funny. (Don't eat and read.)

[Elf Girl]

*laughs* No, I'm not Jay's replacement! I'm a lowly little newbie agent with one story. There's no 'original' partners anymore. Acacia retired even before Jay did, so Thalia's agent Rhus was Jay's partner... so now I guess Thalia has the most authority. She gives permission for new spinoffs (well, her and Bast and P@L and Miss Cam), anyway, but I'm not sure who her new partner is, if she even has one.

That post was entirely incomprehensible to anyone but a PPCer.

Thank you for complimenting my story! *glows*

O, and while we're chatting about OFUM, let's throw in pics of my adorable minis: Myiar and Valur.

EDIT: And the PPC was the original idea of Jay & Acacia, not Miss Cam. The two ideas just fit together so well that they happen to occupy the same universe.

[Nurvingiel]

Thanks for clearing that up about the PPC.

Protectors of Plot Continuus, MSTers, and the OFUM (Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth) are all very excellently connected.

[jellyfishannah]

I've read most of the MSTs on your site, Nurv. those are so hilarious! It'd be really great if there was some fanfic (classic mary sue type) about a girl who is half american indian. Her grandfather taught her how to use a bow and all that junk. And she gets transported to ME blah blah blah...She can be called Mary Sioux (sp?) Sorry...*ahem ahem* *feels lame*

[Nurvingiel]

Lol JFH! (ba dum ching!) I'm glad you enjoyed my MSTs.

Hector and I have been working on an MST for a while, and it's almost complete! Bwahaha! Since his computer is AWOL right now, I'm going to post the most recent version here so he can work on it.


Title: One Moment in Time

S: (singing) A Kodak Moment.

Author: Leiasky

Synopsis: Gandalf and Elrond witness a private interlude while discussing the coming darkness.

Rating: PG

Pairing: Aragorn/Arwen

N: As if this is some sort of surprise...
HB: (scoffs)

Additional Info: Obviously my interpretation

S: (sarcastic) I never would have guessed!

of events not seen in the film,

N: Otherwise known as the events described in the book,

"Fellowship of the Ring" nor written in the book. I'm a romantic at heart and strive to portray the characters herein as I see them. This story was written

HB: Badly

with the characters from the movie

N: It’s like a fanfic written on a fanfic.
S: (shudders)

and their expressions and voices in mind.

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Don't make money.

S: (Author) Got no job.

Written for fun.

Archive: If you like. Please tell me where.

HB: The fireplace.
S: Or the circular, metallic file.

Thanks to Aya-san for the beta.

S: (Author) I water it every day!

You're the best!

Â

N: Gah! What was that!
S: It looks like the rocket ship from Asteroids. (Nervously) We should be okay.
HB: Actually those are ‘A’s, you know, from the alphabet.
N: “A�s don’t divide paragraphs. Ha.

Â

1 One

HB: Ok, how redundant.

Moment in Time

Â

Â

S: (makes 80s arcade sound effects)

The two men walked slowly,

HB: Pretending to be in a movie with slow mo.

Deliberately, along the ornate pathway that was but a small taste of the splendour of the elven haven Rivendell. There was a cool breeze

HB: Boiling on the stove.
N: …That was random.
HB: *smiles*


on the air, blowing the mist from the falls over the walkways and into their faces.

HB: Completely soaking them.
N: The only time Aragorn bathed in the entire movie.

The tension in their hearts and in their voices was palpable, unable to be cut with even the sharpest blade.

S: Ew, I hope not.

They knew the danger that was to come; they knew the death toll could rival that of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men.

[HB: (they) woohoo! Just a couple more men dead and we’ll get the record beat!]
what about
HB: (Alliance) Our body count is in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Â

HB: (singing) B C D E F G...

"When my people leave these shores, either the race of men will rule over Middle-Earth or Sauron's evil will have consumed the lands." Elrond stated slowly,

HB: But then picked up the pace so fast that no one in middle earth could understood a word he said.
N: (Gandalf) Smile and nod.

hands clasped behind his back.

S: In handcuffs

Â

Gandalf sighed deeply. “And you're certain the ring cannot stay here?"

HB: (Gandalf) Because you know, I’d really like it for myself.

"No." The response was immediate and curt.

HB: (Elrond) It’s mine... my own! My precious!

"The elves cannot conceal it safely from the lidless eye. Rivendell has long been a haven for my people. I will not have it destroyed because you wish to pass this task on to one you believe would be more suited."

N: (Elrond) Nice try Gandalf, no cop outs.

Elrond paused,

HB: Then rewound, then fast forwarded
S: (Elrond) And I finally got the VCR to stop blinking 12:00am!

lost in thought,

HB: So lost that he couldn’t find his way back. THE END.
S: Sweet! See ya.
N: Park it Monie, it’s only one chapter anyway.
S: Oh yeah. I was having “Life story� flashbacks.
Both: (Shudder)
HB: (Looks confused)

before continuing." Legends, millennia old, tell that a hobbit will have the power to change the course of the future.

S: Actually, wouldn’t he say “Ages old?�
N: If such legends actually existed, yes.

The ring chose this hobbit; it is his quest, not ours.

S: (Elrond) Sucker.

All we can do is guide and protect him

N: With Armour-all

."

Â

"He's been through so much." Gandalf frowned, staring blankly into the glittering forest.

N: The trees were wrapped in aluminium foil.

"It's

HB: (Gandalf) Not

true I would wish for him to go safely home."

HB: Yay!


Â

"The Council will meet on the morrow to discuss this danger. The younger races will unite or they will be destroyed." Elrond stated, his tone leaving no room for discussion.

[S: (Gandalf thinking) there he goes again, babbling so fast and so much.]
[Probably want to change this; it was the best I could come up with]
how about
S: (Gandalf, thinking) Yak yak yak...

Â

"Aragorn will unite them."

S: This year we’re sure to win the World Cup.
N: (Waves “Go Elrond� pennant hopefully)
S: I don’t think that applies to this story Nurv.

Gandalf smiled, the wrinkles of age crinkling around his eyes

N: Like tissue paper

.

Â

"If he has the courage to reclaim the throne and rule the world of men." There was a distrust and hesitation in Elrond's voice that brought a concerned look from the wizard. "I do not envy him this task. But should he choose the right path,

S: Or he will be on the wrong path.

he will have the remaining might of the elves and the strength of his people to lead against Sauron."

Â

"Another 'Last Alliance of elves and men'."

N: (Frodo) And Hobbits!
S: (Gandalf) Oh, you’re awake. Um... we were just about to say Hobbits.

Gandalf murmured, lost in thought.

HB: This is a dangerous place to be apparently. Getting lost in thought, you might not be able to find your way back.
S: Elrond and Gandalf have been lost since someone started writing lines for them.
N: Yeah Jackson. (muttering) Agent Elrond...

The past was all too clear in his mind as he remembered that wondrous and horrible day.

[Are you sure you don’t like this line? I think it’s funny.]
S: (Gandalf) It would have been a wonderful day, but I ate too many bean and cheese burritos.

Â

"Truly the last

N: Eskimo pie [you can take this line if you want]
S: Can I have it?

. Many of my people have already left for the west, many more leave daily.

N: Mandos’ Mighty Buck has just opened its doors. [you can this line unless you want Nurv to have it]

We cannot shape the world of men any longer. We cannot protect them. Our power in this realm is fading." Elrond gazed into the sky and took a deep breath

S: From the refrigerator

.

"We feel it in the water. We feel it in the air and in

S: The lines stolen from Peter Jackson.
N: Which I would not recommend.
HB: (mumbles something about “If you want him�)

every living thing that surrounds us."

S: Oh. We feel that too.
HB: (monotone) How very interesting.
N: (grinning) Having fun yet guys?
[HB: quoting yoda about the force surrounding us etc… from Empire strikes back would be great here]

[Nurvingiel]

[sure HB. I can’t think of a Yoda quote, but go ahead and put one in.]

Â

"Yet the most powerful have remained." Gandalf cast an amused look at his old friend.

S: And then reeled it in.

Elrond spoke often of his distrust and dislike of men,

N: Actually... no.

yet he loved and raised Aragorn, a mortal man, as his own son.

S: Figure that one out Captain Plot Hole.

Gandalf knew he was loathe to lose the man so close to his heart regardless if he chose not to admit such a 'weakness'.

N: (Elrond) Feelings are for the ‘weak’.

Â

S: Woah! That one shot at me!
N: What?
S: The arcade rocket.
HB: The “A�?
S: (adamently) Yes.

"We taunt him with the power of the three.

N: (Gandalf, Elrond and Galadriel) We have the Three, nyah nyah.

The three he has not yet reclaimed for his own.

N: (helpfully) You mean “The three he never owned.�

'The One'

S: (makes random air quotes)

cannot rule these three. We have seen the height of the One Ring's power and have resisted it."

N: (The One Ring, hypnotic voice) Tie-dye is cool...
S: (Elrond) No! Never!

Elrond fell into silence

N: (Elrond) Aaaaa...

for a moment before continuing, "Soon, we will take the elven rings across the sea and out of his reach."

HB: And yours.
S: (Gandalf) Rats, foiled again.

Â

"That will enrage Sauron."

S: He hates getting shot at by arcade rockets.

Â

"But in no way will it stop his quest for ultimate control over Middle- Earth." Elrond stopped suddenly and stared at his old friend.

N: (Elrond) There’s a huge bug on your face.
HB: (Gandalf) It’s called a mole.
[beauty mark in place of mole would be even funnier IMO]

"The darkness is closing in on us all and soon, no one will be able to resist its power."

[I’m thinking a Saruman reference here. Didn’t he say something like that when he tried to get Gandalf to join his side?]
[HB; I have no suggestion for that though. Sorry.]
[we’ll think of one, no worries]

Â

"So the elven nations are running,

S: (singing) Brave Elven nations ran away, bravely ran away away!

removing their support and wisdom from the younger races

N: (Elves) Yoink!

who desperately need their help." Gandalf grinned at the sharp intake of breath in the elf beside him, satisfied with the sudden reaction.

N: Yes. Gandalf taunts people for fun. Clearly you understood the books.
HB: (snickering) I can’t believe you just said that with a straight face.

Â

Elrond's eyes snapped toward the wizard, his tone anything but kind,

N: Glaborous?
S: Serendipitous?
HB: Serendipitous, wasn’t that a movie with John Cusack?
[what about another random word? I havent seen that movie so I cant do anything with it really]

"The races of middle-earth are greedy.

HB: (Elrond) They always take the largest cookie when they visit.

They care only for power and riches. They care not for the land which gives them life.

HB: (Land) I gave them life for their birthday a few years ago, and this year, my gift turned up at a Christmas gift exchange.
S: (shocked) You mean, the race of Men are re-gifters?

The time has come for us to cease our interference with the happenings of their world and return to our own."

Â

Gandalf frowned at the disgust and power behind Elrond's words but, before he could respond,

N: He was run over by a backhoe.
S: Well that was slightly random.
N: Sorry, they’re doing construction near my house.

his attention was drawn to a bridge concealed greatly by trees, and to the couple standing upon it.

N: Or that...

Seconds passed in silence before Gandalf replied with a simple,

"I see

HB: (Gandalf) Dead people

."

As Elrond continued on his long tirade about the weakness of men,

N: (Gandalf) Men are weak, blah blah, it’s been the same thing since the Second Age.

Gandalf smiled

HB: And nodded politely.

fondly

HB: Oh.

at the event taking place within the ethereal backdrop of the Rivendell falls.

S: Is that near the Last Homely Bungalow?

Â

Gandalf had long suspected a blossoming relationship between the exiled king

N: Exiled king is wrong. If you read the Appendecies... oh well. (Sips tea defeatedly)
S: (pats Nurvingiel’s shoulder comfortingly)

and the elven princess.

S: Arwennotprincesscuzelrondnotking.
N: Speed-corrections, for people who are still making that mistake.

But Aragorn kept his own council

N: (Arwen) Can’t I have a tiny piece?
S: (Aragorn) Not sharing.


where Evanstar

S: Evenstar’s younger brother Evan.
N: He’s not talked about much.
HB: He’s the son from Elrond’s other wife.
S: Yeah, the one with all the Mary Sue kids.

was concerned, and Gandalf had no interest in pressuring the man for information he was not ready to give.

[Maybe a reference to “A Few Good Men� or police or the mafia getting someone to talk]
[no suggestion]
[what about:
S: (Gandalf) When I asked him, he clammed up fasted than a Mafia boss at a police convention.

Â

"Aragorn's time for wandering is at an end. He must lead his people."

S: He must be the first Lemming out the door.

Elrond stated, as if seeing with his minds eye

N: Wreathed in flame...

what was taking place on the bridge behind him and simply choosing to ignore it, "If he has the strength in his blood."

Â

“He has

HB: Taken

Elven blood.

" Gandalf replied, eyes still transfixed on the scene over Elrond's shoulder.

N: He was trying to watch “As the World Turns�.

"That will be the rock that saves him."

S: Super-Rock! Little known partner of the Green Lantern.
HB: (Gandalf) It’s that little rock right there…with the speckles.
[I actually don’t understand Gandalf’s comment]

Â

Noticing the wizard's distraction,

S: (Elrond) Are you getting lost in thought again? [<seems weak here, any ideas?]
[what about S: (Elrond) Take this compass so you don’t get lost again.]

Elrond turned in time to see Aragorn take his daughters lips

HB: (Aragorn) my lips now, Elf! Ha!
[not to boo urns all your ideas, but we did already put “yoink� later about aragorn “taking his daughter’s lips� just a few lines on. so I don’t think we should have another lip-stealing reference right before imo. but you can have the “yoink� line though]
[to make it a different reference, you could make it taking her lips to somewhere like the pub, or the beach, etc.]

in a firm and passionate kiss.

HB: (Aragorn) Yoink!

Eyes fixed on the sight before him

S: With duct tape.

, Elrond continued, "When he accepts the responsibility of his birthright, they will have my blessing."

N: (Elrond) But since he hasn’t... (rolls up sleeves menacingly)

Â

"Does he know he does not yet have it?"

Â

"They meet in the dark, in secret, what do you think?" Elrond's voice was tense as he watched the two embrace,

S: (rolls eyes) Is Rivendell a hot make-out spot or something?
N: (Legolas, in the distance) I love you Arwen!

watched the man he raised and loved as a son, gaze upon his daughter with a passion held in check only by a love and respect for Elrond's wishes.

Â

"With their love comes a price, Gandalf,"

HB: (Elrond) 50 bucks. And that’s my last offer.
[I personally liked it as just “50 bucks�.]

[Nurvingiel]

Elrond's voice suddenly turned sad, barely audible above the rush of water from the falls below.

[they’re standing above a waterfall, and they can still see Aragorn and Arwen on a bridge below the falls? we should make a comment on the impossibility of that.]
What about...

Â

"Oh, a fact of which I believe they are all too painfully aware." Gandalf smiled as Aragorn tenderly placed Arwen's hand in his

N: Blender

and kissed it.

Â

"When the time comes …….."

N: You will choke on random letters?
HB:
S: Fanfiction will vanish from this world?
[did you want a line there? it just seemed like a good opportunity]

Â

"Elrond," Gandalf's eyes widened as Arwen reached out her arms and fastened her pendant around Aragorn's neck. "I believe the choice has already been made."

N: She has given him the Oogly Penant of Mortality
S: Guaranteed to knock years off your life!

Â

Elrond sighed deeply, gazing on the adoration and love that swirled in his daughters gaze.

N: (Elrond) She really needs to change her contact lenses more often.

"Like her ancestor before her, she has chosen a mortal life." Gandalf could feel his old friend tense, as if he would have the gall

S: Stones
N: (winces) Ouch.

to demand the promise they had just witnessed to be taken back.

N: To Wal-Mart.
S: From whence the Oogly Pendant came.
[what do you think of the oogly pendant?]

Â

"Give them this moment, my friend,"

N: Then you won’t have to buy them birthday gifts.

Gandalf rested a hand on the old elf's shoulder

S: Menacingly

as a sudden gust of wind raced across the land.

N: Author’s whim!

It ruffled the serenity and peace of the trees,

S: Blowing the aluminium foil away.

a dark whisper wrapping itself around every living thing and turning it to

N: Boring metaphor.

ice.

N: Oh.

Gandalf shivered. "For they may not have another like it."

S: (Elrond) They won’t. I’m grounding Arwen for 500 years.

Â

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THE END



[https://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=561604] we won’t actually include this in the final draft.

We still need to write an intro and a conclusion as well, but that's easy.

[Nurvingiel]

Valandil PMed me about two definitions: who or what is a Mary Sue, and what is slash? Since stories including one or both of these elements usually stink and get MSTd, what do you think of my definitions?

Slash is pairing two canon characters of the same gender. Some of it is possibly within the canon (such as Talia Winters and Susan Ivanova from Babylon 5), most of it is just plain bad writing. I don't personally have a problem with writing about gay people, but slash usually occurs on characters we are quite certain aren't gay (such as Legolas and Aragorn).

The term "Mary Sue" comes from Star Trek fanfiction, which I think was the first fandom to be subjected to fanfiction. Mary Sue is a generic character. She is the author inserting herself into the story, or writing a character that is exactly who they wish they could be. Much of the story is devoted to her exploits, and she usually steals the show from canon characters. Also, her physical appearance is described ad nauseum, and she is amazingly beautiful. She can also sing/dance/play guitar perfectly, and is an ace mechanic/astrophysicist/home decorator. She can do anything and everything, and is hated to readers everywhere since she is the most boring character in the history of time. I say "she" because most Mary Sue characters are women for some reason. However, her exceedingly handsome, madly skilled, and equally annoying male counterpart "Marty Stu" is out there.

[Tessar]

I like some MSTs, but I don't think I could write one myself. After reading a few it seems like you've read them all, at least to me.

Not to slam MSTers in any way . If ya get a kick out of that kind of thing (and I can see how you would. Some of those fan fics are just sick ) then MST away! Hehehe.


I did like the first few I read .

[Nurvingiel]

I can see what you mean about MSTs Tessar. Personally I love AWs MSTs and I never get tired of them! Did you read his? (At Lord of the MST.) What did you think of mine, or were they the ones that were all the same after a while. Then again, there are only two at the moment.
Hector and I should have our MST up soon, and it will spice things up a little bit.
Thanks for checking this thread out Tessar! Yea.