Teacup Mysteries Series

[hectorberlioz]

Teacup Mysteries, #1: The Case of the Missing Locket

Chapter 1: A missing treasure

In Fangorn Forest, the Teacup Cafe is located at the edge of a thicket of smaller, younger trees. The entrance to the Teacup faces an open spot in Fangorn that everyone calls "the small meadow." The grass is particularly bright green, and a nice spot to sit for a picnic due to the sunlight that shines through the top of the trees to that spot of ground. The frequent guests of the Teacup Cafe love to hold birthday parties in this spot. Off to the side of the Teacup Cafe and the picnic spot was a well. Every time funds were low for holding the business together, the financiers of the Teacup would draw up from this well. What they had found there was not water, but crude oil. This helped keep the good old place alive and from shutting down due to lack of business, or from several calamities that had caused damage to the property.

Early one morning, Mari--who tended to the Teacup on weekends--was washing up the counters in the cafe and preparing to open the place for customers. She'd already mopped the floors from the previous night's bloody brawl. Her mind wandered from the job at hand, and she began to mindlessly scrub the bar counter. She didn't notice that a few customers, desperate to get in from the morning's chill, had barged inside uninvited. Acalewia, one of the most frequent guests and a troublemaker, sat down on one of the stools at the left-end of the bar counter. "Mornin', Mari," she said. Mari hadn't heard her. The other impatient customer, named Midge, sat at the other end of the Cafe on the couch, near the fireplace and card tables. Midge was a new customer, and while she was very friendly, she hadn't quite gotten comfortable with everything...especially the fights that took place in the Teacup.

Midge felt something at her feet, coming from underneath the couch. She looked down and saw a white rabbit, of medium size, large ears. She put one of her hands forward to pet it, and when she touched the fur, the rabbit turned to look at her face-to-face. Midge saw now that this rabbit had red blood-shot eyes, and when it opened it's mouth she saw it's Dracula-like fangs. "Eek!" Midge exclaimed as she jumped up on the couch. This cry caught the attention of Mari and Acalewia, who had gotten just started their gab-fest.

"That is such a cute locket..." Mari said dreamily, peering at the tiny little photo inside. "I want one just like it!" she squealed. The locket belonged to Acalewia, and it contained pictures of her great-grandparents. It was made of 24 carat gold, and had a small white stone in the outside. "Yeah," said Acalewia. "This is our family heirloom. I hate keeping it in the house because I don't have a very safe place to put it. So I'm taking it to my private vault at the Entmoot Swiss Bank."

At this moment, the two ladies heard Midge's cry and looked in her direction. "It's a devil rabbit!" Midge said nervously, standing on the couch, pointing down to the foot of the couch. "Oh, haha. No, that's just Bunicula," Mari said."He's harmless."

"Are you sure?" Midge asked. "Positive. Though Hector is deathly scared of him. But don't pay any attention to what Hector says. Half of what you get out of him is wrong, and the other half you have to run through a meat-grinder just to make sure he's not lying." Mari and Acalewia both laughed at this point. Jerks.

"You can pick him up and pet him, if you want," Acalewia said. She set her locket back into her Adidas (which was so 1998, by this time) jersey-pants pocket and zipped it. "And get used to it," she said getting off the stool, coming to where Midge was at the couch, and picking up Bunicula. "There are a lot more pets around here than just this little cute fella." She stroked Bunicula's ears. The white rabbit gently bit her other hand. "Awww!" Mari said. "That's so cute!"

"OUCH!"

Suddenly Acalewia dropped Bunicula like a 1998 pair of Adidas shoes.

"HE BIT ME HARD!" She was about to kick the rabbit when Mari rushed forward to pick him up. "No!" Mari said shrilly. "He's just a little rabbit, he doesn't know what he's doing."

"Well, he's a friggin jerk as far as I'm concerned!"

Couldn't agree more.

"Well, I've had my coffee," Acalewia said. "I need to get to the bank before it closes! You know how stupid banks are. They open for about an hour a day, and then they take the rest of the day off, all while being paid by my tax dollars." Acalewia headed for the door. She patted her pants pocket to make sure the precious locket was till there. She paused for a moment, then unzipped her pocket, felt inside, and then a look of horror came over her face.

"It's gone."

The other two ladies gasped (even though Midge had no idea what it was), and hurriedly began searching the Cafe.
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Chapter 2: The Detective Is Brought In

[NOTE: the story switches to first person narration]

Hi there. I'm private detective Nautipus. I work as a detective only as a summer job, because usually I'm too busy with my aquarium. Or my scooba-diving expeditions. Or hospital visits having to do with shark bites. In any case, I only work as a detective for some extra money to help pay my travel expenses. See, my dad was the police commissioner of a town, and he ALWAYS brought me along for the ride. That's how I learned to look at a crime scene. Sounds a bit like Encyclopedia Brown doesn't it? Heh. Well after you see me figure outta case, it's more like Encyclopedia Brown is like ME. I make Sherlock look like an old-school Scotland Yard incompetent.

And the only reason I mention private detectivating at all is because some of my girl friends came rushing to me for help. Did you read that right? See that I spaced "girl" and "friends"? Ok, just checking.

In any case, my friends Mari, Acalewia, and Midge came to my office one late morning. No, they didn't exactly come to hire my skilled service as an agent of detectivity. Actually they came to borrow my metal detector. I use that thang to find metal objects, doncha know. On the beach. Usually. Unless it's my car keys.

They burst into my office one morning as I was lounging and taking it easy. I could tell they had been running because they were all breathing hard for air.

"You ladies just run a marathon, er what?" I had my feet stretched out on my desk. I was reading "The Aquarium Times," a magazine exclusively for people who liked aquariums and all things having to do with the ocean. Mari apparently didn't like my tone, because she snatched the magazine out of my hands and threw it in my face. "Nauti, weneedthatmetaldetector of yours! Acally just lost her locket and the bank is about to close!"

I stared at her, bewildered. I hadn't understood what she said. "What did she say you lost?" I asked, looking at Acally. But Mari apparently wasn't in a good mood. She glared icicles at me, which wasn't so bad considering the warm weather. Instead of chewing me out for no reason, she started looking all over my office for something.

"What are you looking for?" I asked.

"YOUR. STUPID. METAL. DE-TECTOR!"

Oh.

"Oh." I reached up on the shelf behind my desk, and brought down my very special metal detector. "Well here it is right here. All you had to do was ask." Mari took it quickly and was about to leave.

"Wait! What are you guys gonna use it for?" I didn't exactly want to loan it for random treasure hunts out in the dark woods. Those metal detectors are expensive!

This time Mari didn't look so mad when she spoke to me. "Acally has a locket, it's really expensive-" "It's made of gold." Acalewia butted in. "-and she lost it in the Teacup awhile ago, and we haven't been able to find it."

I smiled knowingly. "Well, I've lost a lot of things before. I know how to look for stuff."

"Yeah, but did you ever find it?" Acalewia asked sarcastically. I was confused as to why the female variety always felt it important to act like ingrateful after borrowing property.

"Of course I did." I said, indignantly. "I'll bet if I went down to the Teacup now, we'd find that locket in five minutes." "Mari scoffed harshly, as if losing a locket was equivalent to being in war, running a country, or swimming in an aquarium with sharks.

"If we can't find the locket, nobody can." Mari said with confidence.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

I got up to race down to the Teacup, but all three girls beat me to the door and out the building.

I ran after them down the well-trod path that lead to the Teacup Cafe. We all stumbled to a stop. There was a growing crowd of impatient folks raring to get their morning drinks before work. Mari ignored them, walked to the rear of the cafe, took out her keys and unlocked the cafe's back door.

Mari went to the main entrance, opened the door and made an announcement to the customers.

"Please come inside, but don't sit in the card table area. We have an emergency situation." She let all the customers in. Meanwhile I had gotten distracted by the large aquarium in the center of the Teacup that contained my pet kraken. Did you know that a kraken is ten times more dangerous than a shark? One flop of a kraken's tentacle can break five stories of an apartment building. My kraken howe-


"STOP!" Mari yelled. Everyone in the Teacup looked at her. "Nauti," she said. "You can't narrate anymore. You keep throwing in irrelevant details."

[NOTE: from now on this story is narrated the, uh, regular way.]

While everyone purchased their drinks and set the Teacup abuzz with chatter, Midge and Acalewia went through the cafe's different sections with the metal detector to see if they could pick up the location of the locket. But it was no good. They didn't pick up any metal substances on the floor except for shoe-lacing holes. "It's no good!" Acalewia was in despair. "And the worst part about it is, I have to work all day for the rest of the week. I don't have time to go to the bank, even if we find it!" Midge comforted her. "I'm sure we'll find it. We just need someone who is a really good looker."

Nautipus, after feeding his pet kraken, set about helping the ladies search for the locket. He crawled under tables, peered into mouse holes, and even began filtering through the fireplace soot. As he finished this task, he heard someone walk up to him from behind. Hector.

"Hiya, Hector." Nautipus pulled himself up. "What are you trying to do, find the biggest speck of dust?" Hector asked, and then sipped from his hot chocolate. "Well no, actually I'm helping Acally look for her lost locket. The picture kind."

"Hmm."

"And she lost it in this area." Nautipus proceeded to tell him more of the details. When he mentioned that Acalewia had actually put the locket in her pants pocket, Hector suddenly started paying attention.

Hector began pacing. "So," he said. "There are a few possibilities, as I see it. Go get Midge, Acally, and Mari. I think I know where the locket is."

"How?!"

"Simple deduction, my dear Nauti. Simple deduction."
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Chapter 3: the locket is found

Acalewia, Midge, and Mari were now seated on the couch near the unused fireplace. Hector was pacing back and forth, one hand on chin, the other on his left hip. "So after you showed it to Mari, you zipped it in your pocket. Ran to Midge on the couch, picked up Bunicula, and when you were about to leave, you noticed it was missing." He ran through the details in his mind one more time. "There are four possibilities my dear ladies, and through reasoning I have narrowed it down to only possibility." He proceeded.

"There first possibility is that Mari stole it."

The ladies gasped in indignation. Mari was too flabbergasted to retort.

"But you see, I don't believe she did. If Mari's comment that 'she wanted one just like it' had really meant she'd steal the locket, she would have had to reach into Acally's pocket while she wasn't looking. But from what we know, Mari was standing over by the bar counter before she rushed over to pick up Bunicula. Therefore, it couldn't be her."

"The second possibility is that Midge stole it."

"Hector!" All the ladies gasped again.

"But I don't believe she did. And here's why: Midge was still standing on the couch while Acally held Bunicula. All she would have had to do is stoop down to from her position, unzip Acally's pocket, and steal the locket. Simple as that. But from what we know, Midge didn't know about the locket until after Acally noticed it was missing. So obviously it wasn't Midge."

Nautipus and the ladies sighed with relief.

"The third possibility is that Acally never lost it and was playing a prank!"

Nobody said anything, but Acalewia started to look like she about to cry.

"But I don't believe that," Hector said. He paced a few more times then paused. "If Acally had really wanted to do that, she'd have left the rest of us here looking for it endlessly. No, it wasn't a prank."

"Well who else is there?" asked Nautipus innocently. "There's only one place it could be," Hector said. "Under the couch."

"But I looked there!" protested Nautipus.

"Nevertheless Nauti, let's pull the couch away from the wall. Ladies, please excuse yourselves."

The three female mooters got up from the couch, tired, mentally exhausted, and more than a little furious at Hector for bringing them through needless accusations that he himself didn't believe, just so he could prove his stupid skills at being the next Sherlock.

Hector and Nautipus began pulling the couch away from the wall. Hector took the left end, and Nautipus took the right. Together they pulled the couch to reveal more floor and wall. "Let's get this mantle piece duster and sweep the dust gently," said Hector. He handed the duster to Nautipus, who promptly began sweeping the dust aside. After he did so, Nautipus looked down closer. "Oh, neat," he said. "I didn't know there was a trap door here." He looked up at Hector, who was standing by the fireplace. "Uh, Hector..." Nautipus looked up at Hector and right behind him, sitting on the mantlepiece, red eyes glowing feverishly, was Bunicula.

"Hector watch out!" Suddenly the Bunicula sprang from his perch, launching himself at the back of Hector neck. (Also, someone had selected "Fast Jungle Drum Rhythms" on the jukebox.)

Hector fell to the floor with the Bunicula clinging to the back of his neck. He rolled onto his back, reached back for the Bunicula and yanked him off. But not without the evil creature taking a piece of his skin. Hector gave a sharp cry of pain. He held the Bunicula in his hands now. He tried to toss the rabbit away, while still lying flat on his back. But the creature was like glue, he wouldn't let go. A crowd had gathered around him now, and Nautipus was attempting to grab Bunicula by the tail. And the jungle music wasn't helping.

Hector now gripped the creature by its neck, and began choking it. But before he could further annihilate the animal, Mari came out of nowhere with a potato sack, put it over Bunicula and snatched him, shuffled him into the bag, and tied it up.

Hector regained his footing. He was too shocked to argue with Mari over whether Bunicula should be locked away in a prison cell twenty-thousand leagues under the sea or not. Everyone went back to their drinks and seats, and the conversation among them now turned to this exciting incident.

Nautipus, Acalewia, Midge, and Mari came over to where Hector was resting on the couch--still pulled away from the couch. Acalewia sighed. "Well, we didn't find the locket, but at least you're OK," she said.

"Oh, we found the locket," Hector said. He brought them over to the small trap door in the floor that Nautipus had dusted off. They opened it. Inside was a cache of all manner of jewelry: more gold lockets, wedding rings, and pearl necklaces. "This is it!" exclaimed Acalewia, scooping up her beloved locket. "But I still don't understand, who put it here?"

"Don't you know already?" asked Hector, a bit amazed none of them had realized the obvious. "Bunicula stole the locket."

They all gasped. "Never!" said Mari.

"Oh, but I'm afraid he did," Hector looked down at the jewels. "You see, when Acally picked him up, Bunicula must have unzipped her pocket and snatched the locket while she was petting him."

"All these jewels..." said Midge. "He's stolen from dozens of other customers!"

"And nobody would have ever suspected him," said Nautipus. "Least of all, me," Mari added.

"But Bunicula is just like all the other thieves," said Hector, shutting the trap door and standing up. He smiled. "When you get near his nest, he lets you know."

They all laughed.

THE END

Also, prepare for more mystery at the Teacup Cafe in...Teacup Mysteries, #2: The Secret of the Golden Tongue-Twister!