Monty Python

ItalianLegolas · 02-02-2005, 01:10 PM

i know we already have a couple of threads dedicated to monty python, so don't blame me if someone comes and locks it.

HERE IS WHERE WE SHALL COME TO TALK ABOUT MONTY PYTHON!!

brownjenkins · 02-02-2005, 01:19 PM

"Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!"

EarthBound · 02-02-2005, 02:05 PM

Just how are we going to get back the Holy Grail from the French! Perhaps we need to lob a cow...always a good idea

Embladyne · 02-02-2005, 03:20 PM

We are the knights who say "NEE!"

ItalianLegolas · 02-02-2005, 03:52 PM

"We could build a giant wooden badger"

"Your bloody arms off!"
"No its not!"
"Whats that then?"
"Just a flesh wound, I've had worse! Come on then!"
"What are you going to do? Bleed on me?"

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-02-2005, 06:53 PM

this is an ex-parrot, it has ceased to be

What is your name?
King Arthur
What is your quest?
I seek the Holy Grail
What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?
I don't understand, laden or unladen? african or european?
Eh?, I dont know that! whaaaaaaa!! *splat*

**Nurvingiel** · 02-02-2005, 06:53 PM

To quote random lines...

"Kevin Phillips Bongggg. You polled no votes at all. Not a sausage. Bugger all. Are you at all disappointed?"
"Not at all. As I always say, 'climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every byway, 'till you find your dream. *singing* A dream that will last, just as long as you live... every day of your life, for as long as you live! Climb every mountain! Ford every stream..." *laughter*
"A very brave Keving Phillips Bong there."
- From Election Special

Is anyone familiar with the Dead Parrot Sketch? This is one of Monty Python's most famous sketches. What do you think makes it so successful?

inked · 02-02-2005, 08:03 PM

God: O get up and stop your groveling! EVERYtime I show up...

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-02-2005, 08:06 PM

..it's sorry this, forgive me that, now what are you doing?

we are averting our eyes, oh Lord!

Minielin · 02-02-2005, 11:40 PM

NOBODY expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-02-2005, 11:42 PM

THE MINISTRY OF SILLY WALKS

my favourit characters are probably Hell's Grannies!

Minielin · 02-03-2005, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Last Child of Ungoliant

my favourit characters are probably Hell's Grannies!

Yeah, those are great.

***HOBBIT*** · 02-03-2005, 01:04 AM

Who is seeing Spamelot?

Elemmírë · 02-03-2005, 02:24 AM

Come back here! I'll bite yer legs off!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nurvingiel

Is anyone familiar with the Dead Parrot Sketch? This is one of Monty Python's most famous sketches. What do you think makes it so successful?

Bloody brilliant, Nurvs. Brilliant.

[edited] I'll go find a copy of it so I can remember...

Elemmírë · 02-03-2005, 02:30 AM

Here we go!

Quote:

The sketch:

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

BeardofPants · 02-03-2005, 03:52 AM

I love Monty Python... but I feckin' hate the oft' quoted Holy Grail. :grumpy:

Anyhoo...

I've got two legs from the hips to the ground,
And when I move them they walk around,
And when I lift them they climb the stairs,
And when I shave them they ain't got hairs.

I've got two legs…

*BLAM*

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-03-2005, 05:38 AM

nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what i mean

ItalianLegolas · 02-03-2005, 07:18 AM

"It could be an African swallow!"
"Well an African Swallow maybe, but not a normal swallow thats what I'm saying"

Last Child of Ungoliant · 02-03-2005, 07:26 AM

Wing Commander Muriel Volestrangler KCB MBE

he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy

We are the Judaean People's Front (Kamikaze Squad), everyone present arms! & Stab! <graarrgh> that wasn't supposed to do that!

ItalianLegolas · 02-03-2005, 07:56 AM

I am a professional camel-watcher!
And how many camels have you seen?
Well, none, actually.
???????????????
Well you see, there really aren't any camels in this area.

02-02-2005, 01:10 PM	#1
ItalianLegolas Tolkien-aholic Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: somewhere in the solar system... more specifically NJ... Posts: 712	Monty Python i know we already have a couple of threads dedicated to monty python, so don't blame me if someone comes and locks it. HERE IS WHERE WE SHALL COME TO TALK ABOUT MONTY PYTHON!! __________________ What was lost is now found.

02-02-2005, 01:19 PM	#2
brownjenkins Advocatus Diaboli Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Reality Posts: 3,767	"Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!" __________________ Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.

02-02-2005, 02:05 PM	#3
EarthBound Lady Tipple & Queen of Blessed Thistle Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: I've been told it's all in my head Posts: 916	Just how are we going to get back the Holy Grail from the French! Perhaps we need to lob a cow...always a good idea __________________ Beer + Pizza = N'uff said Happy to be here The HACBR has been alerted to my postings…..Hobbits Against Constant Beer References Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Ben Franklin I want my Mooter T-Shirt!

02-02-2005, 03:20 PM	#4
Embladyne Honourary Elitist Inklette Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: between the mountains and the sea Posts: 704	We are the knights who say "NEE!" __________________ Even on the pinnacle of a palace a crow does not become an eagle. My DA page

02-02-2005, 03:52 PM	#5
ItalianLegolas Tolkien-aholic Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: somewhere in the solar system... more specifically NJ... Posts: 712	"We could build a giant wooden badger" "Your bloody arms off!" "No its not!" "Whats that then?" "Just a flesh wound, I've had worse! Come on then!" "What are you going to do? Bleed on me?" __________________ What was lost is now found.

02-02-2005, 06:53 PM	#6
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	this is an ex-parrot, it has ceased to be What is your name? King Arthur What is your quest? I seek the Holy Grail What is the air speed velocity of a swallow? I don't understand, laden or unladen? african or european? Eh?, I dont know that! whaaaaaaa!! splat

02-02-2005, 08:03 PM	#8
inked Elf Lord Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: sikeston, MO, usa, earth, sol Posts: 3,114	God: O get up and stop your groveling! EVERYtime I show up... __________________ Inked "Aslan is not a tame lion." CSL/LWW "The new school [acts] as if it required...courage to say a blasphemy. There is only one thing that requires real courage to say, and that is a truism." GK Chesterton "And there is always the danger of allowing people to suppose that our modern times are so wholly unlike any other times that the fundamental facts about man's nature have wholly changed with changing circumstances." Dorothy L. Sayers, 1 Sept. 1941

02-02-2005, 08:06 PM	#9
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	..it's sorry this, forgive me that, now what are you doing? we are averting our eyes, oh Lord!

02-02-2005, 11:40 PM	#10
Minielin Elven Warrior Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: I dwell in possibility. Posts: 247	NOBODY expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!!! __________________ "...then how shall I Revive the dying tones of minstrelsy, Which linger yet about lone gothic arches, In dark green ivy, and among wild larches?" Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum.

02-02-2005, 11:42 PM	#11
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	THE MINISTRY OF SILLY WALKS my favourit characters are probably Hell's Grannies!

02-03-2005, 01:04 AM	#13
*HOBBIT* Saviour of Entmoot Admiral Join Date: Nov 1999 Location: NC/NJ (no longer Same place as bmilder.) Posts: 61,986	Who is seeing Spamelot? __________________ President Emeritus (2000-2004) Private message (or email) me if you need any assistance. I am here to help! "I'm up to here with cool, ok? I'm so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis" - Zaphod Beeblebrox Latest Blog Post: Just Quit Facebook? No One Cares!

02-03-2005, 03:52 AM	#16
BeardofPants the Shrike Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA <3 Posts: 10,647	I love Monty Python... but I feckin' hate the oft' quoted Holy Grail. :grumpy: Anyhoo... I've got two legs from the hips to the ground, And when I move them they walk around, And when I lift them they climb the stairs, And when I shave them they ain't got hairs. I've got two legs… *BLAM* __________________ "Binary solo! 0000001! 00000011! 0000001! 00000011!" ~ The Humans are Dead, Flight of the Conchords

02-03-2005, 05:38 AM	#17
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what i mean

02-03-2005, 07:18 AM	#18
ItalianLegolas Tolkien-aholic Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: somewhere in the solar system... more specifically NJ... Posts: 712	"It could be an African swallow!" "Well an African Swallow maybe, but not a normal swallow thats what I'm saying" __________________ What was lost is now found.

02-03-2005, 07:26 AM	#19
Last Child of Ungoliant The Intermittent One Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: here and there Posts: 4,671	Wing Commander Muriel Volestrangler KCB MBE he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy We are the Judaean People's Front (Kamikaze Squad), everyone present arms! & Stab! <graarrgh> that wasn't supposed to do that!

02-03-2005, 07:56 AM	#20
ItalianLegolas Tolkien-aholic Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: somewhere in the solar system... more specifically NJ... Posts: 712	I am a professional camel-watcher! And how many camels have you seen? Well, none, actually. ??????????????? Well you see, there really aren't any camels in this area. __________________ What was lost is now found.

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