Funny things kids say

[Rían]

My middle son said something really funny the other day, and there's a fair amount of parents on the Moot that hear funny things from their kids all the time, and we were all kids once anyway and said funny things, so I thought I'd start this thread to share funny things that kids say.

I was driving my 2 youngest home from a end-of-season pizza party for their older brother's football team. My husband had bought each of them a little penny prize from the little machine-thingy. My daughter ended up with a little fabric choker-style necklace (it's the type of necklace that goes snugly around your neck, as opposed to hanging down). She put it on and it was a little tight, and she said to her brother, "what if someone puts this on and leaves it on overnight and they grow overnight and get choked?!" He answered, "Yeah, you'd wake up in the morning and find out you're dead!"



Another one by my middle son - in the desert-y part of California, where I live, there are lots of black widow spiders. Now these are fairly poisonous spiders, altho usually not lethal except sometimes to small kids and babies, so I have really drilled them on what the spider looks like and to NOT ever touch it, but to call an adult to squash it. So my two youngest (they tend to run together!) found a black widow spider in a web right by the back door, and they called me, and I dispatched it to spider heaven. The next day, my son found another spider in the web. He called to me, "Mom! You know that black widow you killed yesterday? Well, you forgot her husband!"

The thing about these comments is that they make a lot of sense - that's part of what makes them so funny!

[The Gaffer]

Can't think of any gems from young Samwise, but these are from a friend's two young daughters:

Aged 3: "Has God got a bottom?"

Aged 7: "Do you control your mind or does your mind control you?"

[Nurvingiel]

For a minute there Gaffer, I thought your kid's name actually was Samwise!

I don't hang around kids that much... so I got nothin'.

This thread title reminds me of that awful Bill Crosby show (Kids say the darnedest things). *shudder* This is way better than him making fun of kids, I look forward to everyone else's posts! *lurks*

[Rían]

Another Mooter, who shall remain unnamed unless he chooses to come here and 'fess up, told me something funny he said in his younger days -

He was looking at old pictures with his Grandma, and he asked her, "Grandma, when did color come into the world?"

[Lalaith_Elf]

A couple of years ago, my family and I were visiting relatives down in Chester, and we went to the zoo for the day. My 7-8 year old cousin (at the time) was with us. Anyway, we were at the Elephants, and two of them decided to mate. My cousin turned around and said quiet loudly "Why is that Elephant giving the other one a piggy back?"

[Elvengirl]

*I'm riding my horse down the street and little girl about 5 runs up*
girl: Hi Mary! (my name is not Mary)
me: Hi *decides not to bother clarifying my name*
girl:wow pretty horse! Why is he so tall?
me: answer
girl: oh.... why does he only have one toe?
me: answer
girl: oh...is his tail 100 feet long?
me: no
girl: oh.. *starts to talk on about something else, then suddenly holds up finger that looks bloody* look I hurt my finger!
me: what happened?
girl: I bit it.
me: oh why did you do that?
girl: I wanted to see if it would hurt.
me: